Taemin ran out of the room. I shot my head up and ran to the hallway to see him coming out of his room, with his jacket on and shoes in his hand. His eyes met mine. He didn’t say anything.

I ran back to my room and grabbed my jacket, keys, and handphone. I told our parents that we were leaving and we ran to the car. Once we got into the car and we began making our way to the hospital, I called Jonghyun and told him everything that Minho’s mom had told me. He said that he was going to pick up Onew and meet us at the hospital.

I looked over at my brother, expecting to see tears coming down his face but instead I saw nothing. No emotion. No tears. No words. He was still in a state of shock.

We reached the hospital. I didn’t even bother to move my car from the front of the entrance. We ran to the stairs, not wanting to wait for an elevator. We finally reached the sixth floor, out of breath and frazzled. Minho’s mom was waiting outside of Minho’s door, looking into the small, rectangular window at the top.

Taemin and I didn’t know what to say to her. I cleared my throat. She turned around, her makeup running down her cheeks and her hands full of wet tissues.

“Kibum-ah, Taeminnie.”  She embraced us. None of us could stop the tears from here. Taemin was the first person to pull away from the hug as Mr.Choi and the doctor exited Minho’s room.

The doctor looked at all of us with sorrowful eyes. He knew that Minho’s life was soon coming to an end and that there was not anything else he could provide.

I walked to the door and looked inside.

“You can go in,” Mr.Choi said with Mrs.Choi nodding beside him. Taemin looked at me and I could see the go-ahead in his eyes.

I took a deep breath before stepping inside the dark room. Beeping noises and heavy breathing were the only sounds in the atmosphere. Minho’s head was covered with a bandage that was tinted a slight red color. I reached out slowly, snaking through the tubes and wires to touch his hand. It was cold, but not a cold as you get when you play in the snow for too long without gloves on, but a cold you get when the life is being out of you. I shook my head, unable to fully comprehend everything that was happening to my best friend. He had been there for me since we were little children but now I am going to have to finish my life without him? I fell to my knees, not letting go of Minho’s lifeless hand.

“Minho, you can’t leave us, do you hear me? We can’t let you go. It hurts too much, but we know that you are in more pain than we can imagine. You know how much we all love you right? And you won’t ever forget it right? Minho, please, don’t forget that. I love you so much, Minho-ah. Wait for us.” Sobs finally took over my ability to speak.

I couldn’t be in here any longer. I stood from the floor, taking one last look at Minho before placing his hand back onto the cover beside his body. This was it. The last time I would ever look at my best friend, my brother.

I left the room. Jonghyun and Onew were both holding my crying brother. I went over to my friends and wrapped my own arms around Taemin. He wrapped his arms around my neck.

I pulled back. I reached my hand to his cheek and removed the tear tracks.

“It’s your turn, Taemin.” Taemin shook his head.

“Hyung, I’m not ready. I can’t let him go. I need him too much.”

“I know, Taemin, but you don’t want to regret anything. You should go tell him how much you love him and how much he means to you.”

“But, hyung, he can’t hear me.”

“He can hear you. He can feel you. He needs us right now to let him know that it is okay to leave this world; that it is okay to leave this pain and to go somewhere bigger and better than anything that this place can offer him. He needs to hear from you, Taemin.”

Taemin’s body was shaking from the strength of his tears, but he nodded his head and walked to door, taking a deep breath and stepping inside. Once Taemin was inside and had shut the door, I hurried to turn around and wrap my arms around my boyfriend. I cried into his neck. We didn’t exchange words, we didn’t exchange glances, we just held each other. I could not imagine what Taemin was going through; losing the love of his life. I could not imagine loosing Jonghyun.

After Taemin finished his final meeting, Jonghyun and Onew each took their turns as well. We sat on the benches surrounding the outside of Minho’s room. We waited. It didn’t take long for Minho’s room to become filled with doctors and nurses, each yelling different things. We are braced ourselves for the final sentence from the doctor.

“We lost him.”