That was it. It was over. He was taken from our lives. Minho’s mom began to scream as the doctor rolled Minho’s lifeless body out of the room. Minho’s dad held on to her flying arms, as she wanted to chase his body down the hall. Taemin stood from the bench and went in front of Minho’s mom and wrapped his hands around her. She instantly quit screaming. She cried into Taemin’s neck, whispering “I’m sorry” and “I want him back”. Taemin didn’t say anything. He just cooed and rubbed her back, calming her. Taemin himself was not crying anymore, it seemed as if his body could not produce any more tears.

Minho’s parents were soon summoned to discuss Minho’s funeral. We bowed to them as the four of us once again made our way down to the lobby of this now familiar hospital. We parted ways in the parking lot again, barely speaking goodbyes.

Once we got home, our parents were sitting in the living room. Minho’s parents had called to tell them that Minho had left.  Mom stood from the couch and wrapped her arms around Taemin. She was always the one person that could make him calm, but Taemin still did not show any emotion as mother embraced him. She pulled away as did he. He looked her in the eyes and removed himself from the room and walked upstairs.

I looked at my mother, tears were overflowing my eyes. I didn’t know what to say to her.

“Umma.”

She grabbed my arms and wrapped them around her. She hugged me while placing her fingers onto the back of my head. She cooed and rubbed my back, trying to make me stop crying. I didn’t know how to stop. It was like the tears were never going to stop running down my face.

After talking to my parents for over an hour, the morning sun rose, just as the tiredness of my body gave in. I kissed and hugged my parents and went upstairs to my room. I first decided to check on Taemin. I slightly opened his door to find him asleep, arms wrapped around Minho’s bear and wearing Minho’s jacket. I closed the door and went into my room, falling onto my bed. I barely had time to remove my shoes before my eyes closed and did not re-open.

A few days past. Not many words or thoughts were exchanged in our house. We managed to live life each day and try to not think about any of the hardship we had just went through.

But today was the day of Minho’s funeral. It was our true and final goodbye.  

“Taemin-ah! It’s time to go.”

Taemin walked down the stairs, looking worse than he had the day before. I slowly led him to our parents’ car, opening the backdoor and gently pushing him in. I shut the door behind me and we began to move. I looked out the window; it had started to rain.

“How appropriate for a funeral?” I mumbled quietly, so that no one would hear me.

I looked over at my brother. I could see the tears sliding down his plump cheeks. It was always difficult to lose someone so close to you, but Taemin was taking it even harder.

Once we arrived, I saw Taemin reach for the door handle, but his hands we still shaking, like they have been doing for the last few days. I guess that my appa noticed this too, since he opened the door for Taemin, reaching his hand out to grab Taemin’s arm, pulling him into a standing position. Taemin bowed to him, a silent thank you.

We walked into the church, following our parents down the aisle, passing familiar and new faces of family members, friends, and schoolmates. We took our seats in the same row as Minho’s parents. Taemin took the seat next to Minho’s mom and she took his hand into her own. All of our parents had known about Minho’s relationship with Taemin. She loved Tae like he was her own son.

Taemin kept his eyes on the ground, occasionally gripping a little tighter on to Mrs.Choi’s hand. She would look at him and lean her head against his shoulder, whispering into his ear: “he loved you”, “he’s in a better place now.”

Onew and Jonghyun walked into the building and took a seat next to me. Jonghyun took my hand and I could tell from their red, puffy eyes that they had been crying already.