After abandoning my efforts on forcing the bathroom door open with my bare hands (the lock was on the inside and there were no key holes), I finally resulted to pleading, cajoling and finally coercing Hyunji out of the bathroom with the threat of throwing a bag of her favourite candy out of the window. When she finally did emerge (fifteen minutes later) I found that, in the midst of my screaming and spewing insults at her, she had filled up the bathtub and spent a good half an hour indulging on my misery. She now stood in front of me with a towel wrapped around her body, grinning from ear to ear as she threw me a spare towel she snatched from the rack.

“Done being mad at me?” she asked, slipping around me and sauntering over to her suitcase.

“I hate you,” I muttered with a sniff, marching into the bathroom and closing the door behind me. As I leaned back against the counter, I couldn’t help the small smile slowly spreading onto my face. Despite that I had been verbally abusing her for the past half an hour, I still loved her dearly as my best friend.

After we dressed, we received a text from Ms Hwang to meet downstairs for dinner. Hyunji and I were one of the last to depart from our rooms, and when we finally arrived at the rather festive hotel lobby, we were slightly surprised to find that apparently, everyone had dressed up for the occasion.

“I feel underdressed,” I commented as I watched two girls pass by us with flowing sun dresses and glittering barrettes.

“No worries,” a chirpy voice said from beside me. Choi Minhee was peering at me under her heavily lined eyes. “You two always stick out like two sore thumbs anyway –so much, that people don’t even bother paying attention to you anymore.”

Hyunji scoffed. “I don’t think so that’s the case. At least Aeri doesn’t have to try as hard as you get any boy’s attention.”

I secretly pinched her on the arm. Although Choi Minhee often lied, it didn’t mean that we had to stoop that low to win either.

“Yeah, I agree,” another voice, a deep and low bass, said. “In fact, she doesn’t even have to try.”

I whirled around, surprised to find Jongin standing next to me. He caught my eye and winked, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and smile. I watched gleefully as Minhee’s face turned crimson from anger before she marched away.

“Thanks for getting rid of the pest, Jongin,” Hyunji said, grinning up at him.

Jongin shrugged. “No worries. All that buzzing was starting make my ears sting anyway.”

Hyunji and I laughed, while Jongin merely acknowledged his witty jibe with an indulgent smile.

“Is Joonmyun here?” Hyunji asked, looking around. My heart leapt slightly but I managed to keep my expression in check.

“I don’t know,” Jongin said with a non-committal shrug. “Probably still in his room.”

“You’re not rooming with him?” I asked in surprise. Judging by the close eye Joonmyun had always kept on Jongin, I had assumed that he would be rooming with him too.

Jongin’s face looked impassive. “He’s with Kris.”

Did they fight? I thought, taking at Jongin’s sudden offhanded manner as a negative sign in regards to his current terms with Joonmyun.

“Alright kids!” Ms Kim said, clapping her dainty hands together as she gazed at us with a smile. “We’ll be having dinner at the hotel restaurant and tomorrow’s breakfast at the poolside cafe. We’ve already booked the tables, so please, try and be on your best behaviour.”

“Okay,” we chimed like obedient children. She rolled her eyes at us in an affectionate manner and shooed us into the restaurant.

“So,” Jongin asked, a slight smirk lighting his handsome features as he held out his arm. “Shall we, my lady?”

The night passed with more excitement that I could have hoped. Apparently, dressing up for dinner doesn’t exactly dictate your behaviour at the table. For the past half an hour, Jongin and I were witnesses to two boys trying to get over each other’s heads to obtain possession over a Nintendo DS.

“Why do I have the misfortune to room beside these two lunatics,” Eunkwang said with a groan as he buried his face in his hands. Minhyuk and his roommate, Sungjae, proceeded to bicker over the DS as if Eunkwang hadn’t spoken.

“Why are they even rooming with each other if they get along this splendidly?” Jongin asked, not even bothering to lower his voice. He knew that they wouldn’t take offence; they weren’t even listening to what he was saying.

“Because no one else is willing to endure Minhyuk’s intolerable sleeping habits,” he answered flatly. “But no worries; they really do get along well in class as seatmates, but every friendship has its disagreements. Not to mention that they’re absolute devils once they start plotting together. The labs have seen no less than several chemical mishaps every year.”

“Reminds me of Chanyeol and Tao,” Kris said lightly, eyeing the two as he pulled the empty chair next to mine. I looked up, smiling at him in greeting, my heart skipping a beat when I caught sight of Joonmyun next to him. Joonmyun saw me and offered me a small smile, but when his eyes flickered towards Jongin, he looked away and quickly sat down next to Kris.

“Aeri-yah,” Jongin called me. I turned to face him, and a camera flashed.

“Picture to commemorate the night,” he said, lowering the phone to reveal one of his rakish grins.

“Gosh, if you wanted one all you had to was ask,” I said with a shake of my head. Taking it from his hand, I positioned it in front of us and lightly pulled him by the arm. “Now smile.”

Jongin chuckled and positioned his head close to mine, so close until I could almost feel the stray strands of his hair tickle my cheek and smell the alpine scent of his cologne. I clicked the button and the camera flashed. I handed it back to him.

Jongin nodded his approval and praised me for how well the picture turned out. My laughter died when I caught sight of something from the corner of my eye. I turned my head just in time to catch Joonmyun staring at me, but he quickly looked away before I could see the expression in his eyes.

I left for the bathroom sometime during the night, hoping that I would be able to arrest Hyunji somewhere along the way for a little girl-to-girl bonding time. However, no such luck presented itself. Jonghyun had stolen Hyunji away from me just as Jongin decided to become my a few hours back.

When I got back, I was surprised to find a dark head on the right of my seat instead of Kris’ blonde. I approached the table cautiously, lightly placing my hand on the back of my chair and pulling it out.

“Hey, Joonmyun where’s Kris?” I asked.

He looked up at me and smiled. “Bathroom. And I asked him to switch with me. I don’t know why but it’s hot there.”

I was about to point out that switching to the adjacent seat would hardly have much of an effect in cooling himself down but Joonmyun suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me to my seat.

“Come on, you’re food’s getting cold,” he said.

Obediently, I did as I was told, but the minute I as much as settled myself onto the chair, Joonmyun was already tugging my arm and pulling me towards him.

“I want to show you something,” he said, his eyes gleaming softly under the lights. From his lap, he produced an iPad that he had been flicking through while I had been gone. He brought up a picture album and started to scroll down the screen. Curious, I peered over at the pictures; I was able to decipher very little of those at the beginning of the album, but as he moved downwards, I began to see that they were actually picturesque views various sceneries. He chose one of the pictures at the bottom left corner and enlarged it for me to see.

It was a picture of a fish pond: small, charming and designed to look as if it had been a part of nature itself. Rocks of varying sizes dotted its edges and water lilies bloomed in the middle of a torrent of swirling water. Water trickled from the uneven cracks of a rock wall at the far left corner, and beneath the crystal surface of the pond, I saw fishes in the midst of swishing their tails as they swam.

“My favourite hangout at my home,” he told me, his voice low and soft, as if the picture hid a thousand different memories that only he alone unearth.

“It’s beautiful,” I said truthfully.

Joonmyun chuckled. “There’s more. Wanna see?”

He began showing more and more pictures of his home, chuckling lightly when I couldn’t contain my gasps of surprise. I knew he was rich, but I didn’t know that they guy lived in a mansion. The first picture he showed me depicted a long and expansive driveway, with the mansion tucked cosily in the middle of a ring of green grass and decorative trees. It was made out of expensive white brick, rising up to three stories with tall windows and wooden frames. I estimated that the width of the front door was enough to allow three grown men to enter shoulder to shoulder.

The next few pictures he showed me were the interior, basically a blur of white with a spatter of luxurious marble and gold, and then he moved on to the outdoor amenities. I swear, his swimming pool was just about the size of a soccer field.

“It looks better at night,” he told me, quick shifting through a few more pictures before settling on one that was clearly taken under the light of the full of the moon. The water glittered sapphire, and the light from the windows cast a gentle glow over the white tiles.

“Your house is just... wow,” was all that I managed to say as I stared at the pictures.

“Tell that to my mom,” he said with a chuckle. “She employed several professionals to help design the garden and the pool, and she herself is an interior designer.”

“Which is why she gets so peeved whenever and Hyung and I decide to have a little fun around the house,” another voice chimed in from my left. Startled, I jumped; I hadn’t realised that Jongin had been leaning over my shoulder.

Joonmyun laughed, but it sounded wrong somehow –forced. “Yeah. Good thing that those days are over; she doesn’t have to hide her china as often now.”

“Did you show her our rooms?” Jongin asked. When Joonmyun didn’t answer, he leaned forwards and reached around me, flicking through the iPad Joonmyun held stiffly in his hand to find the right pictures.

“This is mine,” Jongin said, his breath tickling my cheek as he spoke next to my ear. “And this is Hyung’s.”

“You have a grand piano in your bedroom?” I gawked in disbelief.

“Yeah. Makes for easy practice,” Joonmyun laughed lightly. I had no idea why but he suddenly looked uncomfortable. His gaze kept flickering between me and Jongin.

“I can play the piano too,” Jongin volunteered; he still hadn’t moved an inch from his position.

“I know that,” I said, turning my head slightly to look at him. “I saw you play.”

Up close, I realised that categorizing Jongin as merely good-looking didn’t really justify his looks. I never really noticed that he had high cheekbones, and, with his hair pushed back, such a nice forehead.

“Dinner’s almost over. Let’s go for a walk!” before I knew it, I was being pulled away from Jongin. Joonmyun was hastily dragging me away by the wrist, almost knocking both our chairs back in the process. “Come on,” he said, injecting so much enthusiasm that I doubted it was even real.

Jongin’s face turned hard and for the first time in my life, I saw him flash a glare so dark that it sent shivers down my spine. What more, I was sure that it was directed at Joonmyun, who was already towing me away.

“Joonmyun wait, my cell phone!” I exclaimed, hand outstretched as if I could summon it by will alone.

“It’s safe. We’ll be back before they leave, I promise,” Joonmyun said, not even stopping to take a breath. “Besides, I’m sure Jongin could take care of it.”

“Joonmyun!” I finally yelled, digging my heels into the floor to slow him down. He stopped. “Are you okay?” I asked concernedly.

He turned to me and flashed a bright smile that immediately reminded me of that eventful day in the subway, so many weeks ago. “I’m fine. I just wanted some air.”

“Why do you need me to go with you?”

His eyes turned dark. “You’d rather be with Jongin then?”

“No! I –” I took in a deep breath. “You don’t look so well, Joonmyun, and you’re never this... forceful,” I finished lamely.

Joonmyun’s eyes were a play of different emotions, but they finally settled on a gentle and mildly guilty look as he spoke to me. “You’re right. I don’t think I’ve been feeling so well. Something happened the past few days back and I haven’t been able to think straight since then.”

I couldn’t help the sudden flood of concern I felt for him. “And a walk by the pool would help?” I asked.

“A walk by the pool... with you. That would help –a lot.” He smiled at me, making my breath hitch on my throat. I bit back the urge to tear my hair out in frustration. Why was he making it so hard for me to let go of him?

Taking my silence as consent, he took my hand and led me out of the glass doors, towards the gleaming pool that lay ensconced between the hotel and the gardens that surrounded it, where we talked for what seemed like hours.

The morning after, I awoke long before Hyunji even as much stirred in her sleep. I kept the lights off as I trudged over towards the mini bar to help myself to a glass of milk from the carton that Hyunji remembered to ask her mother to pack. Once done, I settled myself back into the bed, staring at the ceiling as I tried to untangle my swirling thoughts and the knots in between. There was only one thing that I was sure of, and it was the only strand of truth I held on to while I worked to decipher the others.

I was in love with Kim Joonmyun.

I was also a fool for falling, because he didn’t love me back.

But why, my heart screamed, confused and agonised, does he keep pulling me back. I had been well-off during his short span of absence from my life; I had lived fine on my own and in the company of my two best friends. Why did he have to waltz in to make me fall for him all over again?

To make things simple, honestly, why can’t I just fall for Jongin instead? Now there’s a candidate who I knew would be willing to catch me when I fell, perhaps love me as much as I loved Joonmyun. I wasn’t dumb; Jongin’s advances had been enough to prove that he at least, had some brand of infatuation for me. Life would be simple if I fell for him, and I’d have my happily ever after. Instead, fate just had to make things complicated by making me fall for his cousin instead; a boy whose feelings for me I knew bordered on the platonic. He took care of me, cherished me, as if I was his responsibility –as if I was his sister.

It hurt –a lot.

I wished I could see him the same way; we’d both be happy then. Neither of us would be tied down by the other; none of us would have to shoulder the heavy burden weighing down on our shoulders. Unrequited love could well be the most painful love of all, and the results are nothing short of heartbreaking.

The conclusion that dawned into me was simple –it was the same conclusion I came to not more than a week ago ever since I received his letter. Let go of Joonmyun before I wouldn’t be able to let go at all.

The only problem was that, given the circumstances, the looming possibility of my seeing him every morning after I awoke and saying goodbye to him a few hours before I retired to bed, that feat might be hard to achieve –if not impossible altogether.