Hey there! J here! So yeah another Taeny shot since there's not much Taeny moments at the concert. I actually wrote this a few weeks ago. I just didn't have time to post this. So happy reading (You guys won't probably be happy while reading this though. lol)

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NOSTALGIA
by J

Past. Tiffany once said that past is past and there’s nothing that can be done anymore. You can never turn back time, she said. But why is she there sitting on a bench in one of the beaches at California thinking of her past relationship with a certain person she loved but had been stupid to let go?

Being sentimental was never at the Korean-American girl’s dictionary. Let go. Forget. Move on. That’s how she views life. Why waste time thinking about what happened when you still have a future to face and worry? That’s what she always tells the people around her everytime they’re being nostalgic about things regarding their past relationships. She would always tell them that there are more important things to prioritize than grieve over something that can’t be undone.

“Pathetic.” She told no one but herself and chuckled bitterly at the irony.

She had never imagined herself as one of those people who would go really emotional after a what-so-called “break-up” until she met a certain girl named Taeyeon.

“Taeyeon.” She whispered softly to herself.

The name sounds familiar yet foreign to her ears. She hasn’t spoken the name in years. Since when did she become this melodramatic, she thought.

Flashes of memories involuntarily played on her mind.

The day they first met. She remembered when the small girl approached, wearing her toothy grin when she was reading a book to kill time in one of the cafes back in Seoul.

“Hi! You’re really pretty! What’s your name?”

The girl’s straightforwardness caught her off guard but she managed to compose herself. She wouldn’t want to look like a fool in front of some random native Korean girl. She’s the cool chic from California afterall.

A raise of an eyebrow was the only response the latter got. The girl’s grin slowly formed into a pout. She thought it was cute.

“So you’re not gonna tell me your name?” She heard the girl asked in an almost inaudible tone.

“Leave my friend alone, Taeyeon. What are you doing here anyways? Jessica came out of nowhere.

“It’s my own café!”

“Tiffany.” She finally said.

“Tiffany?” a buffled expression was prominent at the girl’s face.

“You’re asking for my name, right? It’s Tiffany.”

“Taeyeon at your service, madam!” The petite girl introduced herself dorkily with a bow and some royal-like gesture of hands.

And that was the beginning of the inevitable – falling in love.

Love. It was just some random word that did not have a meaning to her life and falling in love was the last thing Tiffany would want to experience when she came to Seoul.

“Really pathetic.” She scoffed at her memories.

The images of her leaving the other girl then crowded her thoughts.

“Where are you going, Fany?”

“Just let go, Taeyeon. Forget that we met. Forget everything that happened.” She yanked the sobbing girl’s arm that’s preventing her from taking one step away but the grip was too tight to escape.

“Fany ah, why? Please stay.” Taeyeon pleaded in a soft, gentle tone.

“I can’t do this. You mean nothing to me.” She said, more like to convince herself than the other girl. Her voice shaky from trying to hold back her tears.

“I don’t believe you. Stop lying to yourself, Fany ah. Let me in. Let me prove to you that what you believe in isn’t always right.”

“You can’t. You’re nothing to me, Taeyeon.” She tried to appear as strong as possible but faltered when a single drop of tear rolled down her cheeks.

“Then look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me.”

Tiffany hesitated but forced the words to come out as her tears continued to escape her eyes.

“I don’t.” She tried her best to withdraw from the girl’s hold then immediately run.

Run. That’s what she’s best at. She runs from life. She doesn’t want to face life and its consequences. When things are getting complicated, she runs and leaves everything behind, not ever wanting to look back. She runs everytime she’s afraid of something and just move on.

She was afraid, yes. Behind her strong, cool façade is a vulnerable person who’s afraid of reality. She was afraid to accept her own feelings. The feelings that made her run away instead of settling.

It scared her everytime Taeyeon makes her happy. It scared her not knowing how much longer that happiness will sustain. It scared her how Taeyeon makes her feel vulnerable with her every touch. It scared her how much she yearns for the other girl whenever she’s not around. She was afraid of uncertainties. And her growing love for the girl was what she was most afraid of. She was afraid to have a broken heart in the end. So she chose to be a fool in denial rather than facing her fears; rather than fighting; rather than listening to what her heart says; and rather than accepting love itself.

“I’m such a coward. Pathetic little coward.” Tiffany breathed out a mouthful of air and tilted her head up, feeling the rays of the sunset hit her body hoping that it would burn her deep affection for the other girl.

It has been years. She told herself that she could easily forget and move on with life just like what she always do with her other past relationships but no. It was easily said than done.

Memories of Taeyeon remained intact in her mind no matter how hard she tried to erase and forget them. Her smile – the way her chin dimples appear on her face; her skin – the way it glows under the sun; her eyes – the way it captures her heart everytime she looks deeply at  them; her touches – the way it gives shiver down her spine; and her voice – the way it soothes every hidden pain inside her heart, feeling like an angel’s healing her wounded self.

She yearns for Taeyeon.

……..

“Hey Tiff!” She heard someone shout several meters away from her back which made her dispel from her thoughts but did nothing to see who it was.

“We’ve been looking all over for you!” Jessica sat beside the girl who’s still has her eyes closed.

“Mommy, why Aunt Fany sleep here, not bed?” A small voice came next to her.

“Aunt Fany!” She then felt a small hand grip and tug her shirt. She did not move an inch.

“Aunt Fany, wake up! Aunt Fany!” She felt the little boy shake her. A small smile is creeping up her face.

“Honey, remember what made sleeping beauty wake up from her deep sleep? Maybe Aunt Fany needs that.” Jessica giggled as she watched her 3 yr-old son crease his eyebrows while thinking then smiled after getting the answer.

“Go on. I think she’s waiting for her prince.” She coax the boy to lean closer at her aunt.

Tiffany felt a soft pair of lips press on her cheeks.

It then reminded her of the times Taeyeon would shower her with soft kisses to wake her up.

“Boo!” She playfully startled the little boy as soon as he backed away from her face.

The boy jumped at her mother’s arms as a reflex as his lips started to quiver.

“No, no, no! Don’t cry. Come here. Aunt Fany’s just playing with you.” Tiffany opened her two arms, offering the little one to be in her hold.

Tears are starting to form at the little boy’s eyes as he slowly backed reach for his aunt’s arms.

Tiffany lifted the boy from her friend and sat him on her lap as she gently his back.

“Did I scare you?” She asked softly and the boy could just nod, trying hard to control the tears that are starting to fall down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry Aunt Fany didn’t mean to.” She brushed the little boy’s hair up that’s messily hanging on his forehead, kissed the top of his head then nuzzled her nose his cheeks which earned a giggle from the little one. She smiled.

Taeyeon used to make her calm everytime she cries about something by doing that gesture – brushing her fringe aside and kissing her forehead, lingering there a little longer. It made her feel at ease. It made her feel that she’s not alone and it made her feel loved.

Jessica silently watched the girl holding her son. Tiffany’s eyes tell her everything. There’s a hint of sadness and longing under those bright smile.

“So this is where my precious ones are hiding!” The two ladies then turned their heads to where the voice came from.

“Umma!” The boy leaped from Tiffany’s lap towards the person who has her arms ready to catch him.

“Hey there little guy! How’s my baby, huh?” she burrow her nose to the toddler’s neck only to earn another giggle from the boy.

“Umma, swim!” he pointed his little finger towards the beach.

“You want to swim? Alright but ask your mommy first if we can swim.” They both turned their heads to Jessica with puppy eyes.

“What? At this hour? It’s almost evening, Yuri. Do you want him to get sick?!” She scolded her partner then turned her head to their son.

“You can go swim tomorrow morning, honey. Just go make a sand castle with Yuri umma, ok? She saw the boy pout.

“Let them enjoy the beach, Jessi. You guys are here for vacation. Don’t be so stuffy and I bet Yuri’s already wearing her swim suit under her clothes.” Tiffany then chuckled at the thought.

“No and that’s final.” She said, her tone firm.

“But Sica baby, I really am already wearing one. What am I supposed to do with this then?”

“Kwon Yuri!!” Jessica glared at the girl.

“Mommy’s scary, right Jaehyun?” Yuri asked their son. The latter then nodded in response. She saw Jessica shooting invisible daggers at her.

“Uh-oh! We better get going before she eats us both.” The tall girl then run away with a laughing Jeahyun in her arms.

“When will your Yuri grow up?” Tiffany asked her friend who has her eyes set at the direction where the two went.

“I don’t think she’ll ever be a grown up. It’s like raising two kids!”

“At least you have a wonderful family now. I’m happy for you, Jessi. You made the right decision to stick with that kkab choding.”

The latter nodded not being able to respond at her friend. She knows what Tiffany feels inside. She just hopes that her friend could also find her happiness. Silence enveloped the two of them for a couple of minutes until she spoke.

“Thinking about her again?” she asked after observing the girl who has her eyes set on the horizon.

“No.” Tiffany look at Jessica the sighed.

“Yes.” She changed her answer and smiled bitterly.

There’s no point in lying. There’s no point in denying her feelings. Lying caused her to experience this melancholy. Lying caused her her happiness. And lying to herself caused her to lose Taeyeon.

Jessica didn’t say a word and hugged her friend as a way of saying that she’s not alone – that everything’s gonna be okay.

“It’s okay to cry, Tiff. Crying doesn’t make you much less of a person. It in fact makes you a strong person. It’s hard to accept what you feel and you’re the strongest person I know to be able to do that, Tiff.” She said when she felt Tiffany hold back her sobs.

That caused it. Her friend’s words made her verge into tears. She hasn’t cried in years. She told herself that crying is for losers. Crying is for the weak and crying doesn’t change anything.

So there in the hands of her friend in one of the beaches in California, as the sun finally sets, she cried for Taeyeon. She finally let out all her feelings and frustrations as she remembered the time when she became the weakest person on earth to run away from her fears.

“Fany” she heard Taeyeon call her as the girl trace light kisses on her bare skin.

“Hm?” she gasped when she felt the girl bit her shoulders which made the latter grin.

“Are you happy with me?” She heard Taeyeon whisper and felt the girl’s lips nibble with her ears.

“Maybe” She barely got the word out of . Taeyeon’s kisses are enough to send her flying to the moon but she tried to kept her cool.

“Just maybe?” Taeyeon then kissed the corner of her lips.

“Y-yeah. Taeyeon, no teasing.” She groaned, making the girl chuckle.

“Will you be mine, Fany?” Taeyeon asked gently, her dark orbs looking intently at the girl resting next to her.

“I’m already your girlfriend, Taeyeon… plus you’ve already had me. Punt intended, by the way. What more do you want?” She nervously chuckled, afraid to hear what the girl’s about to say. She knows where this is going.

She agreed to be Taeyeon’s girlfriend, thinking that it would help her kill time while staying at Seoul. She thought that Taeyeon can be her past time; a toy – as what she calls her partners before. But fate has its own way to get back at her. She didn’t think that this girl could bring her one of her undiscovered greatest fears – falling in love.

“I want you to be mine, Fany. I want a future with you.”

“Stop this non-sense, Taeyeon.” Tiffany tried to stop the girl from going further but the latter continued as if she didn’t hear anything.

Taeyeon took Tiffany’s hands and weaved their fingers together. Tiffany watched as Taeyeon kissed the back of her hand. She can almost hear her heart beating erratically under her chest.

“You’re my everything, Miyoung.”

“…….”

“Will you be my future by marrying me?”

“Are you drunk, Taeyeon? We’ve only had a bottle of wine and now you’re talking non-sense. Just sleep it off then we’ll talk tomorrow. Besides, I don’t believe in happily ever after, you know that.” She tried to appear nonchalant about the confession. Tiffany patted Taeyeon’s cheeks and turned her back at the girl, pretending to go to sleep.

A couple of minutes had passed when she felt a pair of hands wrap her waist. She can feel Taeyeon’s breath at the back of her ears.

“I’m not drunk nor am I talking non-sense.” She heard Taeyeon speak. Her voice cracking.

“I love you, Fany.” She felt Taeyeon tighten her hug and rested her head on her shoulders as a drop of water landed on her skin. She knew the girl is crying. She knew she hurt Taeyeon but she was too afraid to welcome this new feeling that’s foreign to her heart.

………….

“I loved her, Jessi….” Tiffany sobbed under Jessica’s hold.

“…..I still do.” She continued.

“I know, Tiff. I know.” Jessica her friend’s back.

Tiffany then withdrew from Jessica and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. She fronted a smile.

“I guess karma’s a b*tch.” She scoffed at her own sentence.

“It is.”

“I hate this feeling.” She rested her head on Jessica’s shoulder.

“There’s no point in hating, Tiff.” Jessica then wrapped her arms around the girl and soothed her arms.

“I don’t know how to fix this mess and my life.” She sighed.

“Hey, remember that fashion show I’m organizing?”

“Yeah, why? I’m your boss, remember?”

“Well, ok boss! I heard that a certain midget expanded her café business and is now catering big time events.” Jessica smirked at her friend.

Tiffany smiled. She knows her friend too well.

“Want to come with me to Seoul?” Jessica asked.

“You don’t have to ask.”

………….
 

“Jaehyun, come on. Your mommy needs to go.” Yuri tried to withdraw her crying son from Jessica’s arms.

“No! Mommy! Mommy!” The little boy tightens his hold more and buried his face under Jessica’s neck.

“Jaehyun, I’ll be back after a couple of days. Come one, mommy’s gonna be late. Umma’s going to bring you to Disneyland. You like that?” Jessica tried to bribe the boy.

“No! Mommy go with us see Mickey!” he continued to cry.

Jessica could just sigh knowing that it would take a lot of effort to part their son from her.

“Honey, can you get him? We’re gonna be late.” She asked Yuri.

“He won’t let go of your neck, Sica.”

“Hey Jaehyun.” Tiffany then spoke. The boy looked up to Tiffany. His face streaked with tears.

“Can you let Aunt Fany borrow your mommy for a while ‘cause if not, I’m going to be alone on that plane and I’ll get sad. Do you want me to get sad?” Tiffany asked the boy. Jaehyun then shook his head.

“So will you let Aunt Fany borrow mommy for a while? I promise to get her back to you.”

The boy then contemplated.

“Plus when we get back, I’ll give you a playmate then I won’t borrow your mommy anymore ‘cause that playmate would always be with Aunt Fany.”

“Promise mommy get back here with playmate?” The little boy asked Tiffany.

“I promise. Come on, give Aunt Fany a goodluck kiss to get that playmate.”

Jaehyun then lean in to give a quick peck on Tiffany.

“Good boy! So can you let go of mommy now but give her a kiss first.”

The boy then did what’s told and reached for Yuri’s arms.

“Bye mommy! Bye Aunt Fany!” he waved with teary eyes.

“Bye honey!” Jessica then gave a quick peck on Yuri’s lips but lingered a little longer when the girl didn’t let go.

“Ok, enough! We’re on public and your son’s watching you! Yuri stop!... Jessi!! Let’s go!.... You two stop! Now!”

Yuri then chuckled after letting go and bid goodbye to Tiffany.

“Aunt Fany! Playmate, ok?!” the two ladies heard Jaehyun shout from Yuri’s arms when they’re about to enter the front door of the airport. Tiffany turned her head back and put her thumbs up to the little boy.

“You better get that midget, Miyoung. Or else he’s going to ask about it non-stop when we get back!” Jessica hissed at her friend after setting their foot inside.

“I will. I never break my promise. Besides, if something goes wrong, you can always give Jaehyun a real playmate. I bet Yuri would be glad to comply. The whole process of baby-making and all.”

“Shut up! I’m going to drag that midget here if you can’t. I don’t want to suffer for 9 months again!”

……….

Tiffany breathed in a what seems like a new environment as soon as she stepped out of the airport. She didn’t know that she missed Seoul this bad.

“It’s good to be back.” She mumbled to herself.

“Ready?” She heard her friend say beside her with an offering hand.

“What if…”

“No what ifs, Tiff. Just go and face what’s out there. And if it happened that those what ifs are there, then deal with the consequences. At least you tried.”

“Ok.” Tiffany took a deep breath.

“So… Ready?” Jessica offered her hand to her friend again.

“More than ready.” She then held Jessica’s hand.

Ready. She’s ready to face her fears. No more running. No more hiding. No more being a coward. No more longing. No more feeling of nostalgia ‘cause she’s gonna correct her past and face her future. She’s ready to welcome happiness and she’s ready to be a fool in love. She just hopes that she’s still Taeyeon’s future. For the first time in her life, she hopes that what she believed in was wrong and that happily ever after still exists. 

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Tbh, I don't like angsty fics but everytime I try to write TaeNy, I can't help but make it quite angsty. LOL idk why. So how was it? Please so leave some comments! Thank you! Thanks for reading and dropping by! 

PS: My next shot would be JeTi! It's currently on the making so please be patient JeTi readers! <3

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