Baekhyun could only care less about the fact that he was actually losing his sanity for real. He saw Saerom, alive, twice for good sake and he just couldn’t hold on any longer. No living human would ever going to judge him if he did, talk alone or hugging a non-existent silhouette at the moment. No one was watching him now so he let go the grasp he hold on his luggage, pad towards the woman and swiftly embraced her in his arms.

Baekhyun swore he heard a gasp, as if the figure he was hugging was real and he kissed atop of her head, enjoying the scent of her shampoo—fruity-scent shampoo to be exact. Saerom’s favourite. His imagination wandered out way too wild, as she seemed real, heart-breaking real to be true. Saerom stiffened but Baekhyun could feel the steady breathing and the beats of her heart. I am completely insane, was what the soft voice in his skull whispered and he couldn’t disagree less.

“Saerom, I’m going insane. Please don’t do this to me anymore. Please stop,” the man tautened the grip around Saerom’s body.

“Wait, what?” Saerom struggled to lose herself from Baekhyun and when she did, she threw him a very irritated mixed with a dumbfounded look. “Wait. A. Minute. Baek oppa, are you insane? Saerom is dead. What were you thinking?” And that was when it struck Baekhyun right on his senses and man pride. Baekhyun blinked twice, his intense stare on the woman ahead him causing the latter to fidget uncomfortably in her place. He pointed at her with shaky index finger and titled his head sideway.

“Saehyun? So you’re Saehyun? I….I thought you were in Germany.” Saehyun rolled her eyes at the statement and threw her hands in the air. “Duh, I came back.” She then shoved Baekhyun’s chest in order to move him aside and walked out of the room. Nonetheless, she stopped mid-way and turned to give a glance towards Baekhyun, a very mocking glance indeed. “Well, Baek oppa. A dead person would never come back to life. I thought your thinking level shall be higher than a kindergarten boy.”

“I was….I was…” Baekhyun was lost at words. The lady walked away, ignoring whatever Baekhyun might try to say to depend himself.

Saehyun, who was beautifully clad in a black dress that outshining her light brown wavy waist-length hair, made it hard for Baekhyun to look away as she sashayed down the stairs. It wasn’t Baekhyun to blame for the ridiculous belief but, she was practically a replica of the love of his life. Perhaps, other people who’d be in Baekhyun’s shoes would act the same; believing the unbelievable. But still, Baekhyun felt rather embarrassed for what he did earlier.

However, before Saehyun was completely out of his sight, he called out for her. “Saehyun, wait! Are you going to visit Saerom’s grave?”

∆   

The attitude was what separating the similarities between the twins. If they were to be differentiated based on their outer appearances only, people who isn’t familiar with them would fail it; even Baekhyun to be honest (he already did confuse). Saehyun wasn’t exactly rude. It was a fact that Baekhyun confirmed it for himself. Let say she was a bit, talkative and rough? While Saerom was vice versa.

Baekhyun had had in mind to visit Saerom’s grave after a short nap, or early next morning but the fatigue had somehow subsided and he tagged along Saehyun to the said place without a second thought. He even drove them to the cemetery as Saehyun accepted his ride offer wholeheartedly (with a genuine smile that melted Baekhyun’s heart and whole being).

Sneaking glances while driving was the least ‘mannerly’ thing Baekhyun ever thought to do in his entire life. Saehyun was seated in the front passenger seat, and she managed to attract half (all) of Baekhyun’s attention throughout the ride. Baekhyun tried (really hard) to busy himself while driving to decrease the obviousness of his glances. He changed the radio stations every thirty seconds, humming unnamed tones and looked out the window whenever he felt he was caught red-handed. 

“Hey, I know you were looking.” Big brown eyes stared at Baekhyun in a scornful way from his right, almost penetrating his sight. “I wasn’t looking,” the latter scoffed.

“Tch,” she rolled her eyes. “It’s okay. I understand and I’m glad too, if my existence brings some kind of happiness for everyone? Who misses Saerom in particular? Like you?” Baekhyun shifted in his seat. The giggles she let out were unexpected; the sound was really warm and relishing for Baekhyun to hear. “Mom and Dad always miscalling me Saerom when I got back here the other day. But, I don’t mind. And the incident earlier, I don’t really mind too.” The radio station is changed by Baekhyun at the same time he cleared his throat, a bit too loud. “Oh and how are the kids? I miss Hyemi and baby Yuhan so freaking much. I could die.”

As Baekhyun decided to look at his side as she was chattering, the former couldn’t help but stared at the way her lips moved. It was completely similar to Saerom.

The adrenaline rush in his veins was inscrutable. After being left by Saerom for months and missing her in every detail of her whole being, the sudden come back of Saehyun made the whole situations in Baekhyun’s life diverse, in either good or bad way, he couldn’t decide.

“Yuhan must be staying at the day care until you get back home, isn’t he? Owh, poor baby.” The nano seconds eye-contact between them made Baekhyun to look away quickly. “Well, since I am back now, why don’t you leave baby Yuhan here and you can go work in Seoul. I can take care of him better than the day care. Besides, I look like her Mom so he probably will be really happy. Don’t you think?”   

The almost one-sided conversation was cut down when Baekhyun stopped the car. “We’re here. And nope, I’m good taking care of him alone.”  

Saehyun was the first to alight the vehicle, and shockingly slammed the door after. She couldn’t be mad at me, isn’t she? Baekhyun thought. He snatched that chance of being alone in the car to exhale the breath he didn’t realise holding. He managed a quick groom through the back view mirror to steady himself from the odd nervous lurched deep in his stomach pit. Why was he nervous anyway?      

When he exited the vehicle, Saehyun was already far ahead leaving him. Baekhyun fixed his jacket once and enjoyed the sounds of dried leaves crashed under his feet as he jogged in hope of catching up.  They spent approximately half an hour at the grave in an awkward silence and did a tad cleaning around the space Saerom lied deep under (mostly removing dried leaves and dead flowers left from someone who visited before).

Saehyun placed a bouquet of fresh lilies against the tombstone carefully as Baekhyun told her it was time to go home as the sky was already dull and dark.

Even though, Baekhyun was quite a distance away from the lady, he heard her whisperers of apologies and noticed the drop of tears streamed down her cheeks. The situation was quite calm for some time. However, the silent tears turned to louder sobs and worse, to the state where Saehyun crouched down with one hand over while the other was pressed against her belly. Women on the urge of breaking down or (had broken down) was Baekhyun’s weakness. He disliked seeing women cry and would turn uneasy because of it.

Maybe he shouldn’t do it. Maybe he should. Baekhyun didn’t have much faith in his conscience but it was rather different this time.

Baekhyun killed the distance between them, and slowly slide his arm around Saehyun’s upper body hence assisting her to stand up from her crouching position. “Let’s go home, shall we?”

The face of an angel with watery eyes stared back at him. Baekhyun refrained himself desperately from kissing someone he shouldn’t.

The drive back home was accompanied with the noises of Baekhyun clicks, changing the radio frequencies.