*listen to this while reading* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtDpNTYBJfI

SHEILA didn't call him for lunch and so he decided that it would be best if he went to the dinning area. He found her there, serving the lemonade to the lola club as he candidly called them. They were eating seafood and he held his stomach when it started to grumble from hunger. Sheila looked up from listening to something Lola Tanya said and she looked shocked to see him.

 "Omo! I'm sorry I forgot to call you for lunch. My mom is going to kill me..." she groaned.

 He shook his head. "It's okay. I would just join them, this looks like a feast." He sat down after tying Gaho's leash on an empty chair. Sheila took out some china and set things up for him. She was flustered then disappeared into the kitchen, leaving him with the ladies.

 "So, when are you going to make a move on our Sheila?" Lola Imelda had become more chatty since she found out that they were on pretty much the same boat. The broken-hearted express is more like it.

 "A-aniyo! She's my mom's friend's daughter!" the ladies laughed harder when he started to stutter. Sheila had to cover to keep from laughing. She had five cupids, perhaps they are her fairygrandmothers.

BLUSHING profusely, Jiyong sat down and tried to pour tea for himself. But Lola Tanya was already placing a cup in front of him and smiling, "Don't worry about them, they are just worried about Sheila. She never tells us who this man she is in love with really is. He is like some mystery man. Whenever we ask her mother about it, she just sighes and says that her daughter is a hopeless romantic who is dreaming of some prince who would never come."

 He stopped in mid-sip when he heard the term prince. He was not the kind who thought women still looked for a man who would be a prince instead of a partner. He had thought that it would be best to keep the sweeping of a girl's feet as the Seunghyuns department. TOP, the older Seung Hyun hyung (older brother) and Seungri the Seung Hyun maknae (youngest) were always unconsciously battling it out as for who gets more girls. Taeyang was worse off than Daesung because the latter always gets friend zone'd while Taeyang can't even talk to a girl UNLESS it's about music. And some girls just find that a bit too monotonous. He was around such independent women but then again he was in another place, another country. Maybe Sheila was raised to believe in fairytales. His however, were shattered a long time ago. For he was King Arthur and his Geneviere was actually in love with their Lancelot.

 "Maybe she is just not ready for love." he said, taking a piece of bread and putting it in his mouth. Chewing slowly was a habit that he didn't quite show other people. They always thought he was managing his image when he did that. He chewed slowly when he was thinking. That's about the only thing slow that he ever does except maybe waking up. He takes his merry time for both.

 "That's you, dearie. Our Sheila just needs someone to show her that a living, breathing boyfriend trumps an imaginary one." Lola Helen was direct to the point and Jiyong felt the sting of her words. "If you know what I mean. No offense meant."

 Jiyong waved his hand in front of his face and said it was okay. "I am sure that I would benefit from one as well. I should try to get my friends to hook me up again. Though it's hard to do now since they are all back in Korea."

 "Then you should ask them to come over and talk to you." one of them mentioned. It made sense. And he was pretty sure that the guys would love to relax even just for a few days. But he didn't know if he wanted to share his new peace with them. He didn't know if he was ready to forgive Yongbae for what he and Dara did.

 "I'll give them a call one of these days." he was booked in the retreat for a month. He didn't want to stay longer than that because there would still be a lot of things to do when he came back. No work thoughts. He moved his head back and looked up at the ceiling where cherubs and roses were ornately painted. He wondered where those days of love and innocence have gone to.

HE was standing at the balcony looking out into the sunset when Sheila came in to serve him dinner. He didn't go down to share the feast she cooked for the oldies so she decided he wanted some time alone. But he didn't need to skip dinner. She would rather wake up to eat than have to tell her mom that he skipped a meal on her watch.

"Oh, thanks." he sat down at the mini-dining table inside the room when he saw that she had set up the meal there. "Why didn't you set it up out there?" he motioned towards the balcony.

"It's cold at this time. You might catch a cold if you eat outside." she didn't exactly know what to say. He's looked wistful all day, staring into space and not paying much attention. Deep in thought was one thing, but he looked like he was lost in his own world. For someone who is known to be unable to sit still it was next to impossible to see him sitting somewhere not doing anything.

"I see. Thanks for the food. I think I might gain some weight while I am here. Which would be a good thing because I was told I am looking way too thin these days." He lifted the cover to see a traditional korean dinner, side dishes and all. It looked spicy to him that his mouth started to water. "What's this?" he pointed at a brown slab that looked like a piece of large rice cake.

"It's a Filipino delicacy called kalamay. It's sweet in case you need a reprieve from all the spicy food." she was sure he wouldn't eat all that much of it but she wanted to intro something Filipino into his dinner.

"Thanks, Sheila. You are a gem of a cook." he tried the kalamay first. "Hmm...Seung Hyun hyung would love Filipino food there are so many sweet food over here." he suddenly laughed as if remembering something funny. "Do you know he actually asked me to bring home ingredients for that champorado thing? He said that he read that there is a way to make it but the original recipe needs that chocolate balls things. He insists that I bring him home some of those if now whole box of it."

Sheila made a mental note to tell Sammie her oppa loves champorado. "I'll take note of it so that you won't forget. We get our cocoa balls from the hometown where it's made. So it takes great since people who have been making them for generations are still using the original ways and recipe in making them." she was proud of the culture that came with the food that they served at the retreat. Her father said that the food adds to the experience and the story behind the food makes it more palatable. A forgetable dish was not a great one. However simple it may be if people who ate it remembers a happy memory with it then it becomes a great dish.

"I am sure Dara eunni knows how to make champorado since she was in the Philippines for a long time. You guys can ask her to make some for you guys. I am sure she won't mind." Sheila saw him visibly wince when he mentioned Dara's name. Her Appler heart sensed a disturbance in the DARAGON universe. She had the urge to apologize then she remembered that he was posing as Joon. "You...you can ask Jiyong-ssi to ask her for help."

"I'll try..." he sighed again then went back to poking his food with his chopsticks but not really eating much of it.

"I hope you don't mind me asking this. But did something bad happen to you? People usually don't go to a retreat alone unless they are trying to be a recluse. Are you running away from something maybe? Or did you experience some kind of trauma? Your mom checks up on mine so often I am beginning to wonder about your reasons for being here." she wanted him to tell her that he was Jiyong and that this was his vacation from a long string of hectic concert schedules. But Jiyong seemed determing to lie about who he was.

"I got my heart broken by my bestfriend and my girlfriend. That's all that I can say about that." he wanted to keep the rest of it to himself, that was obvious. But Sheila knew that hurt feelings later fester into blackholes. She was not about to let that happen to her bias.

"I am sure you have more to say about that or would you prefer that I call the ladies to interrogate you again." Jiyong stopped in mid-bite because of what she said.

 Sheila knew that he was scared to get cornered like that again. He chewed quickly then said. "Fine. But can I eat my dinner first?" she knew he was buying time. She stood up and went over to where Gaho was. She placed fresh water on his water dish and placed dog food on his food dish.

  She sat at a lounge chair near the dining table and waited for Jiyong to finish eating. She didn't have anything else to cook and worry about for the rest of the night. So she could wait out for Jiyong and possibly the truth behind his fake smiles.

JIYONG hoped that she would just forget about asking him about what happened. He couldn't tell her who he really was because he didn't want to get any scandals to pop up. It was painful as it was to have his friend and his beloved do this to him.

 "I knew he had a crush on her about the same time that I did. But I was more mature than him because he never really got a chance to go out with anyone while we were growing up. He was a painfully shy kid and he focused all of his energy in improving his skills." he pushed his plate away and placed both elbows on the table then propped his chin on his fisted hands.

 "What's his name, this friend of yours?" Jiyong hesitated, she looked like she was able to ask him to tell her the truth.

 "Hyunbae." he noticed her eyes mist a little. Is she getting emotional over something like a name? "He loved to dance. And we both loved to sing. We dreamt of being idols together. We wanted to be a duo. We pretty much became one and we lived our dream. Then she came."

 "Was she very beautiful?" she looked desperate for details and hanging on his every word. It made him feel like telling her that Dara was like the sun and the moon to him. She was bright and her sunny disposition made him feel warm around her but she also had her moments when she was shy and mysterious.

 "She was my inspiration. But I was just her dongsaeng. She thought I was a playboy because I dated more than the others did." he saw Sheila ball up her fists as if what he said hurt her too. "I wasn't dating more than my others. One of us got so hurt he said he would rather collect toys than have a girlfriend." he smiled weakly when he remembered Seung Hyun's cute bear robo collection. "Hyunbae couldn't talk to a girl unless it was about music and that gets old pretty fast." he remembered that the only woman he seemed to be comfortable talking to later on was Sandara. "My younger friends were more hopeless, one was too focused on finding himself while the other had way too many charisma and girl's phone numbers on his phone." He pressed two fingers between his eyes when he remembered how many girls Seungri tried to hit on. It was troubling him so much so that he insisted that he name the girls on his phone with nicknames of animals or things that only he would know. That way whoever read their messages would not be able to explicitly figure out who was which.

 "Did you love her?" she tried to sound optimistic but there was a tell-tale catch on . Women and their pesky tears. He had to smile. He was one to talk when he was a cry baby himself.

 "I still do. That's why I couldn't believe it when she cheated on me." he shuddered, the pain and the anger always made him do that. He was in a tropical country, there was no reason to feel cold. But his heart felt like it was trapped in winter.

 "Did you see them?" she asked matter-of-factly.

 "Did I see them what?" he knew being dense was never a good idea. But he didn't want to arrive at the conclusion that I was not good enough for her.

 "Did you see them actually kissing or doing something that you shouldn't be doing with a friend?" he felt like he was playing back the reel of the past few weeks.

 "There was a picture taken of them." was all he said. "They are always together when I was not around." was his main grievance.

 "Seriously, that's it? You broke up DARAGON for a misunderstanding. Jesus."

 "Dara-gon? You know who I am then..." he suddenly realized why she was so interested in finding out what happened to him. "So now what? You are going to sell this story to the press?"

 "You really don't trust people anymore, huh? I am not her and not Hyunbae either. I may be just a VIP to you but to me helping you get over whatever you need to get over is my greatest contribution to a fandom of people who love and support you. If you are so selfish as to not listen to your best friend and the woman that you love explain themselves then you don't deserve her love or his friendship." she snarled at him and he stood up walked towards her and grabbed her by her shoulders.

 "Shut up! She told me...she told me she didn't want to support me anymore. She said I was holding her back. She wanted someone who wasn't needy, who wasn't selfish. I can't change who I am. This is me. What else am I supposed to do but leave? If I stayed I would destroy Big Bang. If I stayed I would cause a scandal we all can't live down. I am Kwon leader first and foremost. I can't let my mistake cause other people's dreams to be destroyed!" he dragged her to the floor when he lost the strength to keep upright. His sobs were racking horrible sounds. Sheila didn't say anything. She just held him and let him cry like a wounded, abandoned and confused little child.

 

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