One week passed, Lay was still alive. We were just enjoying each moment that we're together, thinking that it could be the last. It's really hard living like this, waiting for death to take him.

 

I still cry every night. Whenever Lay can't see me. Whenever Lay can't hear my sobs. But I act strong when the day comes, pretending that we're living the normal life. That's how Lay wanted it to be. Though we know deep in our hearts that we're just waiting for him to be sentenced.

 

I want to make him happy. I want everything to be easy for him, and for me, even our parting.

 

"Aya..."

"Yes? You want something?"

"Are you listening?"

"What are you saying again?" He sighed.

"I said we're here."

"Oh. Alright."

"Why do you look so out of yourself today?"

"I-I don't know. I just felt like this."

 

He sighed again.

 

He dragged me towards the door of the building.

 

It has been one tough week as I recalled. Yesterday, Lay was left paralyzed. He can't move his whole body. The other day, he can't remember me, even his name. Not anything. But he quickly regained his self after I brought him here, let him play the piano and cried in front of him. It was really really difficult.

 

 

If it wasn't for my love for Lay, I would have lost all my hope by now. But that's the way it goes. I love him and I don't want to be defeated. I don't want to lose him but I don't want to be blinded. I'm not a strong person but at least I tried to be one. Whether I succeeded or not, I don't know. but I just hope I was a good actress, enough to make Lay believe that I already accepted the fact that he'll be gone. Eventhough in reality, I can never just swallow everything that the world wanted me to. Everyone wants to be with their special someone, eternally. And though in our case, that's an impossible thing, I know that our love was far more than eternity.

 

 

The world was just a show in television. Where all of us are the characters. Characters in our own different stories, different plots, different genre. Only that ours was a tragedy. It was supposed to be a romantic one but fate created a lot of plot twists, too many for our little love story to endure.

 

How I hope this was a comedy. Where we all can laugh it off. Where we all can smile after a long day of rehearsing. Where we both can run and feel comfortable in each other's arms after the last scene. But it wasn't. No matter how many times we tried to make the world shift its spinning, that thing will never ever become possible.

 

 

"Remember what I told you before." I listened to him as Lay gracefully played the piano.

"Which one?"

"Hey just listen first, alright?" I nodded.

 

 

"I told you. Find a man that you'll marry."

"Lay. Here we go again. do we still need to talk about this? I thought you wanted us to forget it and just live peacefully."

"Yes, yes. But please. We cant' close our doors to fate. Just listen."

 

 

I bowed my head. I heard Lay stopping. I felt his warm hand clasping mine.

 

He put my hands on his lips and kissed it.

 

I didn't notice my tears breaking free from the chains that trapped them for a long long time.

 

"I can't understand why people cry whenever they are sad. They're not even pretty when they did." He said in a low-toned voice. Almost like a whisper.

 

"What cruel thing might make a beautiful creature cry?"

 

I remembered the first time I saw Lay. The first things he said to me. The first beat my heart has done for him.

 

 

 

"I'm a beast." He smiled weakly.

 

"Lay..."

 

He shook his head.

 

"I'm a beast." He repeated while looking at the ground.

 

"Don't say that thing. You're not a beast. And if ever you are, you're the most beautiful beast I ever saw."

 

He remained looking at the ground.

 

Then he turned to me.

 

I saw his tears flashing down his cheeks.

 

 

"No. I'm a beast. Because I let a person like you to live in pain. You're supposed to be happy. You're not supposed to be with me. Beside me, all you experienced was grief and difficulty. I'm always breaking your heart. I'm always making you cry. A person like you doesn't deserve someone like me. You deserved the best. The one who'll take care of you and not the other way around. Now I wonder what if I never met you..." He smiled again, while tears flow from his eyes.

 

"Maybe you're happy right now. Maybe you're not suffering. If I never get the chance to know you, maybe you're living peacefully."

 

"Don't say that thing. I'll never be happy if I never met you, Lay. You completed me. And I'd rather face a thousand suffering beside you than to be far way from you."

 

But he continued like he didn't hear anything.

 

"Life would be much easier for you, without me."

 

"Lay..." I tried to touch his cheeks but he moved away.

 

 

"I'm such a cruel person to caged you in my lonely world." Lay touched his forehead onto mine.

 

 

 

"But I'm now setting you free."

 

He kissed my lips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He moved away and turned to the piano. He played that same piece.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=4QsnlSA6QII

 

 

 

I closed my eyes and listened to him. My tears are flowing without any limitations. Same as Lay. Same as my love for him. It knows no boundaries.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Baby don't cry. My love will protect you and never let go."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I heard the last note.

 

 

A long pause followed.

 

 

I bravely opened my eyes praying a million times that it didn't end up the way I was thinking.

 

 

I opened my eyes.

 

 

 

 

But I regretted it.

 

 

 

Because when I did, I saw Lay...

 

 

No longer breathing.

 

 

 

He was leaning on the piano with his hands on the keys and a little smile on his face.

 

 

After a long suffering, he finally reached the paradise.

 

 

But not me.

 

 

 

My paradise was Lay. And will always be Lay.

 

 

 

 

I noticed something near Lay's face.

 

 

 

It was my sixteenth note necklace.

 

It's the one Lay gave me when we first met. When he first played that song for me. When he first changed my world. When he first made my heart beat for him. And only for him.

 

When he first showed me the true meaning of love.

 

 

 

I grabbed the necklace and locked it around my neck.

 

 

Lay...

 

 

 

Our memories will live forever.

 

 

 

 

And our love will live more than that.