'I just have to grab my jacket, it's really cold out now that's late.'

'Well make it quick,' Siwon said smilingly, playing gently with Sungmin's fingers as he spoke. 'I want to take you out for a nice dinner and celebrate our being an official couple okay?' 

There was a dusting of pink on Sungmin's cheeks as he ducked his head, pulling slowly out of Siwon's grip as he walked back to his room. 'Okay,' he replied shyly before dashing into the room.

Siwon laughed a little and settled on the couch, pulling out his phone as he waited.

Sungmin hummed as he looked for his black jacket; he was so sure that he had tossed it onto his bed when he had reached the dorms earlier but maybe he had been in a domestic mood and hung it up. Ignoring the light switch - he knew this room inside out and he was just going to get a jacket anyway - he moved to his closet and was intercepted halfway by a firm hand on his arm.

He'd nearly cried out in surprise when another hand clamped down on his mouth. 'Hyung don't scream! It's just me.'

A mumbled noise escaped Sungmin and Kyuhyun released him only to get a hard kick in the shins and a smack on the arm. 'What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?!'

'Sorry Sungmin hyung,' at least Kyuhyun had the decency to try and ignore the pain and look contrite as Sungmin glared at him. 'I just wanted to talk to you.'

Sungmin's forehead creased in confusion as he stared. It wasn't only the constant use of 'hyung' that was baffling him. 'And you couldn't pick another time when we were together in the same room like roommates normally are and you had to ambush me in a dark room while you were hiding like some robber?'

'It was important,' Kyuhyun insisted.

'Whatever you say Kyuhyun. But fine,' Sungmin walked to his closet and retrieved his jacket before returning to his bed and sitting down. 'Talk. Make it quick though, Siwon's taking me to dinner.'

Kyuhyun halted in his tracks, pausing for a moment to properly look at Sungmin sitting on his bed. The sliver of evening sun just slipping past the crack in their curtains illuminated Sungmin's face perfectly as the latter stared up expectantly at him. He never really did appreciate Sungmin's beauty when they were together and his eyes roved across Sungmin's doe eyes, so full of expression, the perfectly shaped lips, pursed in annoyance and impatience; Kyuhyun was obviously an idiot for letting Sungmin go.

'Well?'

Kyuhyun shook himself out of his reverie and walked over to take a seat next to Sungmin on his bed. Sungmin shifted a little uncomfortably, moving a little so his knee wouldn't be touching Kyuhuyn's. 'Don't date Siwon.'

'That's hyung to you,' Sungmin pointed out, missing the point completely and Kyuhyun nearly laughed out loud in frustration. 'Wait what?'

'Don't date him, please,' Kyuhyun repeated. 'For me?'

Sungmin stared dumbly at the earnest man on his bed.

Kyuhyun waited expectantly and Sungmin realised gradually that Kyuhyun was actually being serious.

'You?' Sungmin finally cried out. 'Who are you to me that I have to revolve my dating life around you? It's my life I get to do what I want. You don't get a say in what I want to do or what I don't want to do with my life anymore!' He was flustered to say the least, this was not what he had expected when Kyuhyun said that he wanted to talk. He had finally gotten enough courage to move on with his life and Kyuhyun just had to pick this particular time to make a move to reconcile with him? Hell no, Sungmin was furious. 'I bet you just can't stand seeing me happy with someone else can you? Everything has to be about you.'

'What?' Kyuhyun bit his lip. This was not going the way he had imagined at all. He had hoped that Sungmin would still be in love with him, that Siwon was only going to be a distraction. Apparently, he was wrong. Apparently Sungmin had changed more than he had expected, and Sungmin didn't feel the need to take care of him or even need him anymore. But he had to try. 'The Zhou Mi thing was a mistake okay? I never needed anything more than you. You were just right, just the right fit and always so steady and always there for me. It took me pushing you away and losing you to realise that I never needed anyone else. You were always the one for me and I - ' Kyuhyun bit his lip and reached out to place his hand over Sungmin's cold one, 'I love you.'

Sungmin's heart should not have been beating this fast. He was supposed to have forgotten Kyuhyun and gotten over his roommate ages ago. Kyuhyun was supposed to have been left behind with his old hairstyle, all his tears and his old self. And yet here he was, right in front of him, confessing to him again. It was just like before. Sungmin closed his eyes and he willed himself not to give in. He deserved better, now he had better, what if Kyuhyun left him again? He could not give in, he could not, would not, should not give in. Every single cell in his body that was still governed by his brain screamed at him to leave the room.

And yet, he felt his heart soften a little towards Kyuhyun. 

A soft knock came at the door and Sungmin's eyes flew open. The knock had shocked him. It reminded him that there was someone else waiting for him now. Someone who loved him with all his heart and who treasured him more than anything else in the world. In a move that took all his resolve, Sungmin wrenched his hands from Kyuhyun's grasp. 'Don't do this to me Kyuhyun. You already hurt me once, who's to say that you won't do it again? Your word's not exactly reliable enough for me right now.'

Kyuhyun looked like his world was crumbling down around him. Sungmin wondered a little detachedly at the back of his brain if this was how he looked when Kyuhyun first broke up with him. 'But - '

'You don't get to do this to me Kyuhyun, you don't get to pick and choose when you want to have me and when you don't. It doesn't work like that Kyu,' Sungmin had slipped up, used Kyuhyun's old nickname from when they were still together. He hadn't noticed it at first but Kyuhyun had, judging by the sharp intake of breath. Sungmin's eyes widened at his own mistake. He hadn't used it in awhile now. It had hit too close to home for both of them and Sungmin clenched his fist, crumpling his jacket in the process.

The person knocked again and Sungmin stood up, holding the jacket in his trembling hands. 'Come in,' he called out softly.

The door opened and Siwon poked his head in. 'Hey Min, you ready to go?' 

Kyuhyun's heart ached a little. That was his nickname for Sungmin, but apparently it wasn't his to use anymore.

Siwon's eyes flitted from Sungmin standing rigidly in front of the door to Kyuhyun still sitting on Sungmin's bed, eyes following Sungmin's every little movement. He knew something had just happened between them but knew better than to ask. He held out a hand to Sungmin, only seeking to give comfort in any way he could. Siwon nodded reassuringly.

Sungmin hesitated a little, knowing Kyuhyun's eyes were on him before slowly taking Siwon's hand. 

'I'm sorry Kyuhyun,' Sungmin stopped and turned back a little. 'But I don't love you anymore.'

-

Siwon watched worriedly as Sungmin played with his spaghetti, twirling the noodle strands endlessly before picking at them. He reached over and grabbed the fork out of Sungmin's hand, startling the older man as he patiently held it in front of Sungmin's mouth. Sungmin looked at him confusedly, eyes flitting from Siwon's face to the forkful of spaghetti in front of him.

'You haven't eaten two mouthfuls since we sat down,' Siwon said as way of explanation. 'Your food is getting cold.'

Sungmin looked around hesitantly at the other patrons around them. Even in a nondescript restaurant, popular but not popular enough to be staked out by fans or paparazzi, people were looking curiously at their wearing of caps and jackets indoors. He looked back at Siwon and Siwon smiled in that gentlemanly manner he always had, lifting the fork again invitingly. It couldn't hurt to be pampered now and then could it? Sungmin relented and leaned forward to eat the spaghetti, unconsciously smiling around it at the grin on Siwon's face.

'There we go. The spaghetti is good isn't it?'

'Yeah it's nice,' Sungmin slowly chewed and swallowed, before holding his hand out for his fork. Siwon returned it to him, forking up a mouthful of his own food and chewing.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

'The food?'

'Well, we could talk about that, or we could talk about whatever Kyuhyun said that has been bothering you since we left the dorms,' Siwon cocked his head curiously as Sungmin flushed a dull red. The ache that bloomed in his chest at the hint that something significant did happen was unexpected and startling, and just that indication of the depth of feeling he had for Sungmin. He reached across the table to cover Sungmin's hand with his. 'You can tell me, I won't be angry or anything I promise.' Siwon's eyebrows drew together. 'Did he hurt you again?'

Sungmin's voice was small and he tried to avoid Siwon's gaze. 'No it wasn't anything like that, really. I - I'm okay, I think.'

Siwon simply waited as Sungmin collected his thoughts, swallowing down whatever was getting stuck in his throat. Something was bothering Sungmin and he knew it; it had to be big to be affecting him this way, Sungmin never resisted food without a reason. He wasn't an idiot. The tension in the room just now was so thick he could slice through it with a butter knife and if Kyuhyun had caused it, he was sure going to get to the bottom of it.

'Kyuhyun was being an idiot, as always,' Sungmin sighed. Siwon blinked and sat up, squeezing Sungmin's hand reassuringly as the latter started talking. 'He must have lost his mind or something. I think he just hates seeing me happy.' Sungmin sighed heavily again.

'Well that's not very nice.'

Sungmin spluttered before laughing at Siwon's matter of fact statement. The laughter petered out to slightly hysterical giggles and Sungmin took a sip of his drink to calm himself down. 'You know he told me that he was in love with me again? How ridiculous is that huh?' He took another gulp of water and squeezed Siwon's hand gratefully, slightly too preoccupied to notice that Siwon's forehead had creased again in mild annoyance. 'I think he's just bitter that I'm happy again, and he just wants to torture me for as long as he can, and keep me with him to torture me some more.'

'You don't believe him?'

'What's there to believe? He dumped me and now when I've picked myself back up he wants me back? You and I both know, if he wanted me back he could have picked up the phone and called me from China. But he was too busy draping himself over, well, you were in China with him, you know who.'

Siwon relaxed a little in his seat before grinning widely at Sungmin. Now he knew for sure that Sungmin was truly and whole-heartedly willing to put his all into making this relationship work and he was relieved, to say the least.

'What?' Sungmin patted at his face. 'Why are you smiling at me like that? What's on my face?'

'Nothing,' Siwon continued beaming. 'It's just nice seeing you stand up to Kyuhyun finally.'

'Oh, well I didn't exactly, I just thought he was being really - '

'I really like you Sungmin,' Siwon interrupted Sungmin's flustered ramble. 'And I really want us to work. So don't think of Kyuhyun anymore okay?'

Emotion flooded Sungmin from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He gaped at Siwon for awhile, trying to process the foreign feeling of being wanted and appreciated again, of being fought for because he mattered. But this was his life now, he was wanted by Siwon and it should not be foreign to him anymore, because this was what a relationship looked like, he realised. Two people who were in a give and take relationship with each other, not just a one way relationship. 

Siwon continued to gaze at him, waiting for a response, all the while keeping his hand covered with his, the warmth from his palm radiating comfort.

Sungmin turned his palm to face upwards, lacing his fingers with Siwon's. He giggled a little at the delighted look on Siwon's face and tightened his grip on Siwon's large hand. With his other hand, he picked up his fork and twirled some of his pasta onto it before lifting it and gesturing it toward Siwon's mouth. Siwon accepted it immediately, chewing it and looking for all the world the most blissful man alive.

'Okay let's make this work,' Sungmin smiled.

-

Sungmin crept into his room, well after most of the members had fallen asleep, giddy and high on emotions from his date. The hug that he had gotten from Siwon was so warm and snug that he felt like he was safe as long as he was within the circle of Siwon's arms. He took off his jacket as quietly as he could, draping it across the back of his chair and tip toeing around to look for his towel so he could take a shower. Dumping his bag on his bed, he heard a crush of paper that had him turning around again. He didn't remember leaving anything on his bed before leaving.

He moved his stuff aside and found a small sheet of paper underneath. The paper was crumpled and looked a little worse for the wear but the text was still legible in the moonlight. 

Sungmin took a look across the room. Kyuhyun seemed to be sleeping, the covers pulled up to his head so only the tuft of his hair could be seen. He was sort of glad for that; he didn't want a huge scene caused when he came home and Sungmin was glad that they could sort of ignore all of that for now. Creeping over to his table, Sungmin flicked on his desk lamp, whipping his head around at Kyuhyun's small groan when the light came on. The next few breaths he took were bated as he waited, frozen for a response. Kyuhyun simply tugged the covers closer to him and continued snoring.

He heaved a sigh of relief as he smoothed the paper out between his tired fingers, flattening it enough to be read.

Dear Sungmin hyung, he spared his roommate another look, wondering if Kyuhyun was watching him read the note but Kyuhyun snored on, and he read on.

Dear Sungmin hyung,

I apologise for everything that I've said or done to you so far. Feeling the way that I feel right now, I realise that it was stupid dumb idiotic inappropriate for me to ask you to be friends those few weeks back after I was upset when Zhou Mi hyung rejected me. I understand if you don't want to talk to me right now, but I really do like you all I'm asking for is one chance to make things right. I hope that someday you will forgive me for what I have done. I love you Sungmin hyung.

Kyuhyun

Sungmin didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. He clutched at the paper, crinkling it up even more in his hands as he stared at the words, some hastily crossed out multiple times, some simply scribbled over, some had ink blots so big it had seeped through to the other side of the paper. The last phrase he had to squint to see under the crossed out lines, it had been almost totally obscured, but he made out the words in the end. The look on Sungmin's face as he slowly turned and gazed at the sleeping figure on the other side of the room was confused, to say the least, and he sank slowly into his chair. 

This changes everything. This changed nothing. Sungmin clenched one of his fists to keep from shaking. It didn't really help. The letter was written in a formal polite style, so unlike Kyuhyun, but he knew his ex-boyfriend's handwriting, he knew Kyuhyun wrote every single word of it. Did he mean it? Sungmin would probably never know, and he wasn't sure if he cared to find out. 

Who was he kidding? Sungmin would kill to find out. As much as he thought Siwon deserved a genuine chance and he himself deserved a shot at being happy, Kyuhyun would always have a place in his heart. The snarky, bratty maknae had stolen his heart when he was being as in the first place, what more now? But he could not give in. He could not give in to Kyuhyun's, whatever this was, trick, ploy, game, prank, confession - Sungmin would not participate in this. 

Siwon made him feel loved again, and that was all he needed right now.

Sungmin crumpled up the paper into a ball, holding it between his hands for a minute before sighing. Releasing the ball of paper, Sungmin carefully smoothed the paper out again, flattening it and rubbing at the wrinkles in the paper before carefully folding it up as small as it would go. The drawer in his table always squeaked so he opened it inch by inch, making sure no noise would be made as he placed the folded letter in the furthest corner of his drawer for safe keeping. It would be safe there, until he could deal with what the letter hinted at again. Closing the drawer as slowly as he opened it, Sungmin switched the light off and sat in the dark for awhile.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Sungmin got up and grabbed his towel before heading out to shower. It was late, he needed his rest for dance practice tomorrow. Apparently, some of the steps were about to be changed.

Sungmin closed the door silently and carefully behind him.

In the room, Kyuhyun slowly opened his eyes and adjusted to the darkness. The light had been blinding earlier and he had jolted awake but had managed to hide before Sungmin realised. He stared at the drawer where Sungmin had kept his letter so carefully and stared some more. Rolling onto his back, Kyuhyun stared up at the ceiling and wondered whether writing the letter was just being silly and grasping at straws.

Then he remembered how carefully Sungmin had kept his letter after crushing it in a fit, and Kyuhyun smiled.

There was hope after all.