A/N: Click on the link in the lyrics later to listen to the song as you read. It help sets the mood.

Siwon trudged up the stairs to his apartment, burdened by the weight of the revelation that he had back at the dorms when he was facing down Kyuhyun. He would be lying if he didn't admit that a small part of him had always felt that he never really had Sungmin's heart, that Sungmin was always going to be in love with Kyuhyun. Sungmin could change his hair, put on some new clothes and strike a new attitude but underneath it all in the deepest corners of his heart, he was always going to love Kyuhyun. He didn't doubt that Sungmin liked him, maybe even loved him, if he could allow himself to hope, but Sungmin would never love him the same way he loved Kyuhyun. It was too strong, too overwhelming for Siwon to ever overcome.

But that wasn't to say that Siwon didn't try. By God he had tried, and he almost always got what he wanted too. But on the occasional times that he didn't, Siwon wasn't one to hold on to what he couldn't have. He was raised to do right by people, not to be cruel, and he could see that keeping Sungmin by his side was only going to hurt both of them in the future. The smiles, the secret kisses, the hugs, the talking, Siwon would miss it. It would never be the same again, but Siwon wouldn't have given it up for the world.

He climbed up another flight of stairs, breathing only a little bit heavier as he lost himself in his thoughts. He usually took the elevator, his apartment was far too high up to be taking the stairs every single day. Siwon's choice to take the stairs today was to put his thoughts in order, and partly to delay the inevitable confrontation that was looming ahead of him.

Sungmin was still resting in his apartment. He hadn't gotten any call or text that had indicated otherwise and he dreaded having to disturb his boyfriend, soon-to-be-ex boyfriend he corrected himself, from his peaceful sleep but he knew it had to be done.

Kyuhyun stared at him somemore, the silent acknowledgement of his words clear in his eyes.

Siwon passed a heavy hand over his eyes, shuddering as the truth of his words settled about him. 'Why didn't you tell me? Or him? Or say anything at all?'

'It wasn't my place,' Kyuhyun began softly, sitting back down on his bed, gesturing for Siwon to do the same as well. Siwon sat down gingerly on Sungmin's bed, his head reeling as Sungmin's recognizable scene surrounded him. 'How could I say anything to you two, after what I had done and all I had said to hurt him? Besides, I thought the two of you were really happy and maybe you could work things out between you two. I won't lie, I did harbour hopes of Sungmin coming back to me,' Siwon snorted at this and a small smirk turned up the corner of Kyuhyun's lips. 'Would you not have thoughts like me after realising what an you'd been, if you had been me? But I promise I did nothing on purpose to sabotage you guys. I was just going to wait in the wings until something catastrophic happened and then I would swoop in to save the day.'

'Glad to see that you had so much faith in our relationship,' Siwon commented drily and the both of them laughed for a second before sobering up.

Siwon let his head fall forward into his hands, whispering under his breath loud enough for Kyuhyun to hear. 'What am I supposed to do?'

'I can't tell you,' Kyuhyun shrugged, just as helpless as he was. 'I really can't. I can't tell you to break up with him because that would be selfish and I can't tell you not to break up with him either because that would be lying. I'm as involved as you are; you have to make the decision.'

Kyuhyun stood up tiredly, exhausted by the problems that had arisen in the span of a single morning and he decided that eating and thinking were probably his best option right now. No use wallowing around, his father had always told him, wallowing never changed anybody's life. 'Just - Whatever you decide Siwon, I won't hold it against you, I promise. And just do whatever that you think will make Min happy, okay?'

Siwon nodded but Kyuhyun tapped at his shoulder impatiently, making him look up.

'Promise me.'

'I promise.'

Somehow, while pondering and reflecting on the exchange that had occurred between him and Kyuhyun that morning, he had reached his floor. Siwon pushed open the door hesitantly, making his way over to his apartment as slow as he could. But he would reach there eventually and he did. Shakily, he keyed in his code, stepping out of his shoes and shucking out of his jacket while mentally preparing himself for what was to come.

Sungmin had barely shifted in his sleep. He must be exhausted, Siwon thought concernedly. Sitting down carefully on the edge of the bed, Siwon raised a hesitant hand, brushing the dark bangs off Sungmin's forehead as he watched him breathe evenly in his sleep. His heart felt like it was going to burst. He loved Sungmin, he really did and he wanted the best for him. Siwon had thought that the best for Sungmin had been himself. What was he supposed to do if Sungmin being happy meant that Sungmin wasn't going to be in his life as his lover anymore?

A mild moment of panic ensued as Siwon wondered if Sungmin might avoid looking him in the eye whenever they were on stage or at any other show recordings, but he calmed back down when he realised that Sungmin was never that petty. Sungmin was caring and calm and always constant. He didn't mean that in a bad way, Sungmin wasn't boring or anything, but Sungmin was always so steady, holding other people up when they were crumbling down.

Sungmin stirred under Siwon's touches and Siwon took a deep breath to calm himself down, this was it.

'Siwon?' Sungmin murmured sleepily, hands coming up to rub at his eyes tiredly. 'What time is it?'

'Not yet noon. Did you sleep well?' Siwon checked Sungmin's temperature, still slightly warm but not at a temperature high enough for worry anymore. 'Do you feel better?'

'Much,' Sungmin rolled onto his side, peering up worriedly at Siwon. 'Did I scare you earlier?' He bit his lip, worrying at the skin with his teeth.

Siwon tried to smile, it was pained at best, but it was a smile. 'A little, but it's okay now.'

'What do you mean it's okay now?'

'I sorted it out.'

'With?'

'With Kyuhyun.'

Sungmin bolted upright, clutching at Siwon. 'You went to see Kyuhyun? What did he tell you?'

Siwon soothed him with long to his back, calming him down just enough for him to fluff up a pillow and slowly push Sungmin back down to rest. The demands and rapid questions continued however, Sungmin wasn't simply going to let the matter rest. 'What did he tell you Siwon?'

'He told me that you were sick last night and he had to take care of you.'

Sungmin could tell that he was bending the truth, the incredulous look on his face was more than enough indication, and he drummed his fingers impatiently on the blankets as he stared straight at Siwon, waiting for the truth and looking like a scared puppy backed up into a corner.

Siwon sighed. 'Sungmin, why didn't you tell me that you were still in love with Kyuhyun?'

Sungmin flinched. 'Who told you that! Kyuhyun?'

'He didn't tell me anything. I sort of figured it out for myself hyung.'

'Well it's not true! I'm not with Kyuhyun now, I'm with you Siwon. Don't you trust me?' Sungmin's hand inched across the blankets to clasp at Siwon's own shaking one, gripping it tightly in his desperation. 'Don't you love me?'

'I do hyung, so so much,' Siwon's voice was ragged with emotion and he raised Sungmin's hand to drop a kiss onto it. 'It's because I love you that I have to do this.'

'What are you saying?'

'I'm saying, Sungmin, that you should go back to Kyuhyun.' The knife that sliced into Siwon's chest as he uttered this words hurt more than he thought it would and squeezed Sungmin's hand tightly. The feel of Sungmin's skin reminded him why he was doing this, why he made this decision. Kyuhyun didn't make it for him, he reminded himself, he chose this on his own.

Sungmin's voice was shaky with unbelief. 'Why are you saying that?'

'Because you love him.'

Sungmin yanked his hand from Siwon's, covering his face. 'It's not true.' His voice was muffled, choked up but Siwon heard every word clearly. 'That's a lie, I don't love Kyuhyun anymore.'

'Yes you do, you and I both know it. I think,' Siwon gave a small laugh, painful and broken, 'that I've known it for awhile now. I just didn't want to face it because I loved you so much.' Sungmin reached for him then and he took both of Sungmin's hands in his, pulling them down onto the blankets. 'Don't cry, hey now, don't cry, you know, in your heart, what I'm saying it's true.'

Sungmin sniffled as Siwon wiped the tears away. 'What if I don't want it to be true?'

'You can't change these things Sungmin, you can't will it away just because you want it to be gone. Trust me I know, I've tried. This,' Siwon indicated the both of them, 'was beautiful and it was perfect and we were happy. But don't you see? We won't last Sungmin-ah. It will end eventually.'

Sungmin let out a small sob, the dam that broke before all his tears came pouring out. It was the first time he had really cried since Kyuhyun had left him more than a year ago, a year of fighting his own emotions and he knew deep inside that what Siwon said, everything Siwon said was true. He just didn't want to admit it because it was too painful. It was all at the surface now, and he had to deal with it.

'Siwon I'm so sorry,' Sungmin mumbled, pressing their foreheads even as his tears spilled over and dotted the blankets, staining them a dark blue. 'I'm sorry that I was such a bad hyung.'

'Sshh hush now,' Siwon closed his own eyes, wrapping his arms around Sungmin and hugging him, possibly for the last time as boyfriends, his brain told him but he pushed the depressing thought aside. 'It's okay. I had the best times with you and we'll still be friends right?' His voice cracked on the last word, the emotions swamping him. It was almost too much, he was almost at his breaking point but he could hold on just a little while longer, he had to.

Sungmin nodded, the guilt constricting his chest painfully as he struggled to breathe with all the unbidden emotions washed over him. 'I'm sorry.'

'Don't,' Siwon pulled back, and stared into his eyes, the emotions fierce and raw in them. 'Don't say sorry for what we had. I'm not sorry.'

Siwon hugged him again, pressing a last gentle kiss to Sungmin's lips before cradling his head against his chest. 'I'm not sorry.'

-

Sungmin stormed down the halls of the SM training building, wiping at his face angrily with his forearms as he peered into all the music rooms. As much as Siwon had tried to not put the blame on anybody, Sungmin still couldn't help feeling that it was his fault. That was two of his relationships that had failed spectacularly now, so the problem had to be him.

He didn't want it to be him, he didn't want the problem to lie with him and so he directed all his frustration and anger to the only other person he could blame.

Kyuhyun.

Siwon had said he was heading to SM to rehearse or practice or something.

'Go to him,' Siwon said softly, with a sad smile playing about his lips. 'He needs you, probably more than i do right now. And you need him.'

The thought brought fresh tears that threatened to choke him but he could control them now, swallowing down the hot ball of tears as he headed towards the last section of rooms. Sungmin was beyond confused, he had been devastated, built back up and thought that he had moved on after what happened last year. When everything started happening again, Kyuhyun, Siwon, Kyuhyun, Siwon, the thought of making a choice or shutting down that part of him completely, it always sent him into a panic and so he never really had to deal with the weight of his emotions, until now.

Kyuhyun was going to pay.

There was only one room left now. Sungmin always knew that it was Kyuhyun's favourite room in the entire building, slightly isolated from everyone else where he could sing to his heart's content. A small scared part of him had thought that if he didn't give in and recognise that even now, he still knew Kyuhyun and all his habits, good and bad, inside out, maybe he could deny the fact that he never really, honestly, got over Kyuhyun.

Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
And it all just sound like ooohhhh~

He gripped the doorknob with shaking hands, pushing the door open as the soft strains of a ballad swept over him. Kyuhyun had picked an English song today, Sungmin thought distractedly as he stepped through the doorway, he didn't usually do that. The words were foreign but he caught some here and there and those words that he did understand, stopped him in his tracks, just a few steps away from Kyuhyun's back where he was seated at the piano.

Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but he's dancing with another man.

He supposed this was the closest he was ever going to get to an apology. Sungmin shook, covering his mouth with his hand as he listened to Kyuhyun's smooth voice sing, full of emotions as he professed his feelings of regret and sorrow.

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like ooohhhh~

Kyuhyun didn't get much further with the song because Sungmin choked back a sob, and it came out far louder than he had hoped it would be. The music ended with a discordant note and Kyuhyun spun around with wide eyes, nearly falling off the piano seat in the process. Sungmin blinked quickly and cleared his throat, looking at everywhere except Kyuhyun.

The silence dragged on and Sungmin shifted uncomfortably. Kyuhyun played with his fingers, unsure of how to begin the conversation either, and he sighed heavily. He guessed he should be the one to apologise first.

(Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know)

'I probably shouldn't have climbed into bed with you, even you were sick,' Kyuhyun grudgingly acknowledged. 'Was Siwon hyung really mad?'

Sungmin sniffed. 'A little. You should know. He ran over to the dorms didn't he?'

'Yeah,' Kyuhyun dragged the syllable out slowly. He wasn't sure what Sungmin was doing here exactly. Was he mad at him? Maybe he came over to apologise for the way he had reacted. Or was he still upset over what had happened yesterday? It was hard realising that he couldn't read Sungmin as easily now. Not like back when they were together. Sungmin had been an open book, unafraid of anything. Up until Kyuhyun had pulled away. The calm that he had used to associated with Sungmin had now all but disappeared and he wasn't sure if Sungmin had really changed everything that he was, because of what he had done to him. 'What else did he tell you?'

'That you still love me.'

The tension was palpable and Kyuhyun swallowed, slowly standing up. Sungmin stepped back, the height that he had used to love was being used against him now. He was slowly losing the control in this situation.

'Why did you come looking for me?' Kyuhyun reached out a hand to touch Sungmin's cheek but the other man shied away.

Sungmin's heart was beating out an unhealthy rhythm. 'Be - Because - '

'Why Sungmin?' Kyuhyun's voice was soft and inviting with an underlying current of need. 'Why did you come in? Why didn't you yell at me? Why are you still here?'

Sungmin shook his head mutely, the thoughts overwhelming him as he fought to come to a decision. He tried hard to remember everything that Kyuhyun had ever hurt him with and at the same times, the thoughts of everything Kyuhyun had ever done for him, before and after their break up, came to mind. Bending down, he clutched at his head, crying out desperately, 'I don't know.'

Kyuhyun's own heart ached and he stooped down next to him, 'You know. You know why Min.' The familiar nickname just caused Sungmin to shrink back into himself somemore but Kyuhyun took one of his hands, anchoring Sungmin to himself, refusing to let him go. 'Tell me.'

Sungmin collapsed. Kyuhyun caught him, legs splayed out under his own body as he took his weight, nearly crying in relief at the familiar feeling of Sungmin's head resting against his chest and his body in his arms. Sungmin clutched at him tightly, fingers squeezing his arms as he stared wildly into Kyuhyun's eyes. 'Because I still love you. I still love you and it's driving me crazy.' He beat at Kyuhyun's chest weakly, hits growing slowly in strength as he got more frantic. Kyuhyun winced but bore the pain, he knew he deserved it. 'Why Kyu? Why do you always make me feel like this? Why do you always break me down? I was all ready to storm in here and yell at you for everything you did and have done to me, and the minute I hear you singing that song, my resolve crumbles away. Why are you doing this to me!'

Kyuhyun rocked the both of them slowly as Sungmin's breaths became ragged and he buried his face into Kyuhyun's top.

'Because I love you.'

He whispered the words softly, just beside Sungmin's ears because it was never meant to be said to anyone else but Sungmin. He never should have looked at anybody else, he should have always been by Sungmin's side; he knew that now.

Sungmin gripped at the material of Kyuhyun's shirt desperately, crying softly as Kyuhyun's arms came around him tightly, hugging him. 'I don't know why, but I love you too.' It was like the past year or so never happened and Sungmin closed his eyes, biting his lip as he hugged Kyuhyun back.

They stayed like that for awhile, hugging each other silently and just dwelling in the realisation that no matter what happened, they still came back to each other. Sungmin pulled back first, wiping at his eyes quickly so that Kyuhyun wouldn't see. But Kyuhyun was too sharp for that.

'What happened to the Sungmin who never cried?' Kyuhyun asked gently, thumbs coming up to brush away the few tears that did manage to escape and Sungmin turned his face away in shame.

'What happened to the mean brat Kyuhyun who couldn't fold his own clothes?'

'Hey I can fold my clothes now, I had to learn after Ryeowook refused to do anything for me in China,' he defended himself and Sungmin let out a small watery giggle, sniffling back some tears.

'Nice to know that they were torturing you in my absence.'

'They did more than torture me,' Kyuhyun muttered as they made to get up. Sungmin extended a hand to help Kyuhyun up, and they stood awkwardly for awhile, fidgeting as they avoided the question that they knew was coming.

Kyuhyun broached the topic first. 'So what now?'

Sungmin reached out and took one of Kyuhyun's hands in his, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to it before warming it with his hands. He looked up at Kyuhyun, his eyes swirling with emotions and regret, 'We can't be together Kyuhyun.'

Kyuhyun was crushed, his voice coming out in nothing but a whisper, 'What?' His fingers clenched into a vice grip around Sungmin's hands and he pulled Sungmin towards him. 'Did Siwon forbid you from seeing me?'

'He did no such thing,' Sungmin was indignant. Siwon was the best person he knew, selfless and loving and he would not have Kyuhyun saying horrible things about him. 'He broke up with me because he knew that we still loved each other so don't you dare say anything bad about him.'

Kyuhyun was chastised and he stared at the floor, wrinkling his nose. It was a new experience, being scolded by Sungmin. Sungmin had never dared to argue with him before, always docile and the ever-patient lover; but he guessed a harsh breakup would change someone drastically. 'Sorry Min.'

The nickname still brought a blush to Sungmin's cheeks but he went back to being serious almost immediately. 'We can't be together, not now. I'm still healing from everything that's happened throughout the year and so are you.' Kyuhyun opened his mouth to interrupt but Sungmin stared at him, and the younger man shut up immediately, putting on an appropriately solemn expression as well. 'If we rush into this now, we're just going to be swept away by emotions again. And it's going to be messed up.'

'But we love each other,' Kyuhyun pleaded. 'Why can't we be together?'

Sungmin was firm, shaking his head. 'How do you think it'll make Siwon feel if we get together immediately? Or what if you decide you get tired of me again?'

'I'm not going to get tired of you!'

'You never know, you might find me boring again.'

'I would never,' Kyuhyun was serious now. 'I'm not going to leave you again Min, can't you trust me?'

'I think I really need some time to just be alone Kyuhyun. And it's not like I'm not going to see you for a year. We're still going to be roommates, and friends.'

Kyuhyun stared. 'You want us to take a break for a year?'

'Just a year,' Sungmin hurriedly continued. 'And if our feelings are still as strong as they are now, we'll give it another shot okay?'

Kyuhyun wanted to argue, he really did. He had been separated from Sungmin for so long, not physically of course but in boyfriend terms, and he really didn't see why he had to be patient for another year but Sungmin sent him another pleading look and he sighed, relenting reluctantly.

'You owe me.'

'I'd say you owe me more,' Sungmin's voice was muffled as Kyuhyun slowly took him into his arms again. His hands came up to wrap around Kyuhyun's waist tenderly, squeezing it affectionately. 'It's only for a year. If you really love me, you can wait a year right?'

It's going to be the worst year of my life, and that includes this one, Kyuhyun thought bitterly but he nodded. Emotionally, he wanted to be with Sungmin now. But the logical part of him knew that if they rushed, a lot more people were going to get hurt. Maybe by healing and being on their own for awhile, they could go back to being the person that they each fell in love with in the beginning. And that would be the best thing in the whole world.

'A year,' Kyuhyun agreed. He pulled back and gripped Sungmin's chin, pulling him in for a kiss. Sungmin failed to stifle his gasp as their lips met, forgetting how much Kyuhyun's kisses affected him and his knees swayed as Kyuhyun's hand delved into his hair, pulling him closer as they shared a deep kiss that left the both of them light headed. Kyuhyun pulled back, pressing a last gentle kiss to Sungmin's lips and smiling sadly as Sungmin opened his eyes, sad and haunted as well. 'A year Sungmin, that's all I'm giving you. And then I'm coming after you.'


-

1. And we're almost at the end! Just one more chapter to go haha I hope you all liked this one. I hope the reconciliation scene was everything everyone had hoped and that it lived up to expectations. If not, I'm going to hide in a hole now /o\
2. Leaving for a holiday in two hours so if an update doesn't come or if I can't write while there, please forgive me !!!

Important A/N: The song used is When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars. Now, I know this scene is set somewhere in 2010 and the song came out like last year but let's just imagine shall we? :D It's fanFICTION after all ^^ Many thanks to flowmarine for bringing this song to my attention and making it the soundtrack of this entire chapter :)