I'm sorry (again and again and again)

Occupational Hazards

 

                Daehyun spun around in his chair, fingertips pressed against his temples as he lost himself in thought.  He honestly felt bad for the events that had transpired between him and Youngjae on Saturday.  Sure, the younger had set out to make his life a living hell the entire week before, but Daehyun was supposed to be the bigger man.  He shouldn’t have stormed into the actor’s apartment and he shouldn’t have pried into his personal life when Youngjae had told him to stop.

                He gave a deep sigh, knowing that he needed to apologize, but dreading the confrontation.  He hefted himself out of his chair and walked with lead limbs down the hallway to Youngjae’s private dressing room.  He reached the door and gave a loud knock.  “Youngjae, are you in there?”

                “No.”  The actor’s voice immediately responded, his displeasure glaringly apparent.  Daehyun tried the door knob, surprised when it gave way and let himself in the room.  The actor was sprawled on his couch, flipping aimlessly through a magazine.

                “Youngjae, we need to talk.”

                “Youngjae’s not here right now if you’d like to leave a message…” the sandy haired boy answered without ever looking up from his magazine.

                “Youngjae, I’m sorry, ok?”  Daehyun sat down in the make-up chair and spun it around to face the younger male.  “I was wrong on Saturday.  I shouldn’t have gone to your house and I shouldn’t have pried into your personal life like that.  Will you please forgive me?”

                Daehyun waited in anticipation for an answer, but was only greeted with disappointment when none came.  Youngjae merely continued to stare flatly at his magazine, blatantly not reading, but also refusing to acknowledge his manager in the room.  Daehyun gave an exasperated sigh and stood back up.

              “Well, even if you don’t forgive me, you still need to get ready.  I got you a last minute spot on M-Net as an emcee.”

                This gained the younger’s attention and he dropped his magazine to stare up at the elder in surprise.  “Are you serious?  I’ve been trying for ages to get back on there.”

                “Oh, so you hear me now?” Daehyun jabbed, but when Youngjae narrowed his eyes he knew he had gone too far.  “Sorry.  Anyway, I called some people I knew from when my last talents went on there and they said they had an open space for today.  So you need to be ready to leave by eleven.”

                “Ok,” Youngjae answered and Daehyun couldn’t believe when the younger actually stood up and walked over to his wardrobe.   “Will you call coordi-noona in here, please?”

                Daehyun was entirely certain that this was the first time he had ever heard the ‘p’ word come from the younger’s mouth and he was ecstatic.  Finally, he thought, We’re finally getting somewhere.

                Eleven o’clock came and Youngjae was actually already ready to go and waiting by the car.  He got in with no fuss and the car ride was actually pleasant.  Most of it was spent in silence but the few times that Daehyun actually did address the other , he wasn’t met with any attitude or sassy back talk.  After a bit of a drive, they finally pulled into the M-Net studios parking garage and headed inside.

                “Great!  You’re finally here!” Daehyun’s associate came running up and greeted the two.  “Just in time.  Luckily your co-host just finished with make-up.  We’ll give you a touch up and then get you two on set, ok?”

                “Co-host?” Youngjae’s nose scrunched in disapproval.  “You didn’t say anything about having a co-host.  Who is it?”

                “Well, well, well.  Look who it is.  I guess you were the backup boy when Woobin couldn’t make it.”

                Youngjae felt his breath shorten and his blood start to boil as a familiar figure walked up behind the studio executive.  “Kim Himchan,” he growled, eyes narrowing and hands balling into fists.  “Do not tell me that my co-host is Kim Himchan.”

                “Is that a problem?” Daehyun asked, looking confoundedly between the very blatantly seething Youngjae to the pleased and smirking black haired man.

                Without answering Youngjae grabbed a hold of Daehyun’s arm, jerking him along as he stormed down the hallway.  When they were out of sight of the black haired diva, Youngjae slammed Daehyun against the wall, panting in a rage as he moved toward him, ready to pounce.

                “Are you literate?  Can your  not read a contract?” His voice was a low growl that Daehyun had yet to hear and it sent shivers down his spine.

                “What do you mean?”

                “I asked if your can read a freaking contract?!  Because mine blatantly states that I am to NEVER, EVER under ANY circumstances be paired with Kim Himchan for ANYTHING.”

                Daehyun thought back and recalled that there actually had been a mention of that.  Or rather,  an entire page with that exact line written over and over again.

                “Look, I’m sorry.  I didn’t even think to ask if there would be anybody else.  But what do you want me to do?  Do you want to cancel and let Himchan take over the show all by himself?  You know they’ll never ask you back again if you do.”

                Youngjae seemed to be lost in thought, weighing his options before his dark eyes turned back to Daehyun, murderous intent written clearly in his irises.  “I’ll do it.  But you WILL pay when we’re done.”

                With that, he stormed off to the dressing room.  Daehyun waited  a moment, recouping himself against the wall.  “Well that’s just effing great,” he groaned.  His experience with (relatively) pleasant Jae had lasted all of two hours and it was already gone.  All that gained footing just jerked away.  He shook his head and pushed himself off the wall.  All he could think about as he walked back down the hall was how much he was dreading whatever new hell Yoo Youngjae was sure to unleash upon him.

 

                “So are you still upset about me winning the best actor of the year award?” Himchan smirked as he walked into the dressing room.  Youngjae glowered at the reflection in the mirror, pissed that he was stuck in the chair while the coordi-noona worked on his hair and couldn’t jump up to rip the elder’s head off.

                “Yeah, well, I’m the one who got the spot in the Project Love drama opposite Han Sunhwa,” he countered, but the elder’s smile never faltered.

                “Congrats on that, although I didn’t even try out since I had already gotten the role in Ryu Seungryong’s new movie.”

                Youngjae’s eyes widened in surprise.  “That was YOU who got the role?”  Himchan answered with another one of his infamous smirks.

                “But hey, things don’t seem too bad on your end.  At least you got that y new manager.”  

                Youngjae couldn’t help the scoff the immediately flew from his mouth.  “What?”

                “What do you mean ‘what’?  Don’t tell me you haven’t been eyeing that fine piece of .”  Himchan settled himself in the chair next to Youngjae, a sly smile spread across his handsome features.

                Youngjae looked back at him with an expression of pure disgust.  “No, no I haven’t it.”

                “Well that’s a damn shame.   I can assure you that I would have had him on top of me seconds after he walked in the door.”

                Youngjae dry gagged for emphasis to just how disgusted he was.  “What? I can’t help that I appreciate a nice hunk of man when I see one,” Himchan retorted non-chalantly.  “You should grab onto him and get you some before he inevitable dumps your , like everyone else.  It’s not too long that people can stand being around you, you know.  Don’t let it go to waste.”  Youngjae felt the pain of the verbal jab hit him and gritted his teeth.

                “So why aren’t you getting any from your manager, huh?  Last I heard, he’s so good looking that people are trying to recruit him into the idol world himself.”

                Himchan’s smirk finally fell and his eyes narrowed toward his longtime adversary.  “That’s none of your concern.  I’m just being professional.”

                “Uh-huh,” Youngjae replied, pleased to see that he had finally had some effect on the older actor.  “I’m sure that’s what he tells you every time he shoves your greasy off him.”

                Himchan opened his mouth to give a scathing retort, but was interrupted when the dressing room door was opened and the studio exec stuck his head inside. 

                “We need to get rolling.  Himchan, come with me.  Mirae, you have one minute to finish on Youngjae.”

 

                “So, I hear you’re Yoo Youngjae’s new manager, huh?  How’s the job treating you?”  Daehyun jumped as his concentration was broken by a deep, husky voice.  He turned his eyes from the set, where he had been watching Youngjae smooze it up for the camera, to the tall and well-built man next to him.  His eyes trailed up and down the well-toned body, not much left to the imagination considering that he was wearing tight leather pants and a snug t-shirt, covered with a jacket- all set in midnight black.  The man’s hair was shaved at the sides and messily styled up and Daehyun unconsciously his lips at the image.

                “Excuse me, but you are?” he asked, fighting hard to keep his voice smooth and cool.

                “Bang Yongguk,” the man turned and held out his hand.  Daehyun was even further taken aback by the adorable gummy smile that spread across his face- a stark contrast to his otherwise gangster-like image.  “I’m Kim Himchan’s manager.”

                Daehyun immediately raised his hand to shake Yongguk’s.  “I’m sorry,  I didn’t realize you were a fellow manager.  You…definitely don’t look like one.”

                Yongguk gave a deep chuckle that reverberated through Daehyun’s hand until they broke apart.  “Yeah, well.  I’ve noticed that Himchan started getting even more interviews and the like once I started dressing like this.  Everybody off set eats it up.  Not to mention that it was fun to finally get out of the suits for once.”

                Daehyun nodded, unconsciously fidgeting with his suit jacket and tie.  “You should try it, though,” Yongguk continued as he eyed the shorter man up and down.  “You’d look good.”

                Daehyun’s cheeks flared a bright red and he forced his gaze from the smiling man next to him to his client on the set.  “I-I’m fine like this.”

                “What a shame.”  An awkward silence filled the space between the two, Daehyun unsure of what to say.  He didn’t like how nervous this other manager was making him.  He was never one to get worked up like this.

                “So, Yoo Youngjae, huh?  How’s that going for you?”  Yongguk asked again.   Daehyun gave a deep sigh and shook his head, which seemed to amuse Yongguk greatly.  “That bad, huh?  Well, you made it one week.  That’s already longer than some of his other managers.”

                “He’s just such a whiny, little diva,” Daehyun groaned.  He still couldn’t believe that the boy on set now, giggling and carrying on like an adorable school girl, was the same Yoo Youngjae that he had to deal with offset.

                “Tell me about it.  You haven’t worked with a diva until you’ve worked with Kim Himchan.”

                “Is he that bad?” Daehyun asked with interest.  Maybe somebody else understood his pain.

                “Well, he’s a different kind of diva than Youngjae.  Still whiny, still bossy, but more self-absorbed than belligerent.  It definitely took some getting used to, though.  It was a long time before I learned how to tame him.”

                “How exactly did you manage that?” Daehyun inquired.  He’d take any advice if it meant making his life a little easier.

                “Give in on the easy stuff.  Placate them.  They’re like whiny kids, it’ll calm them down.  Then you can reign them in on the bigger stuff.  It may not work perfectly at first, but eventually you get a workable relationship going.  Just remember to stay tough when you need to be.”  Daehyun nodded his head in understanding.

                “Thanks.  I really need all the advice I can get.  I’ve never had to deal with someone of Youngjae’s…. caliber… before.”

                “No problem,” Yongguk chuckled again, then fished his phone out of his pocket.  “Here, give me your number.  Then if you ever need anything, you can always call me.  Or… you know… if you just want to meet and hang out, I’d be alright with that too…”

                “What are you two doing?  Sure are getting buddy buddy, aren’t you?” Daehyun’s head whipped up from programming Yongguk’s number at the sound of the husky but whiny voice.  Himchan and Youngjae were standing in front of them, neither of them looking very pleased.

                “Oh, are you two already done?” Yongguk asked, but this didn’t seem to be the right move.  Himchan’s narrow eyes widened in fury and his fists balled at his sides.

                “Did you not even watch me?”

                Yongguk rolled his eyes at this.  “Do I have to watch you all the time?  I’m trying to make business contacts for you.” 

                Himchan’s eyes returned to their normal almond shape, but he crossed his arms and pouted out his puffy lips.  Yongguk sighed.  “How about I take you out for ice cream?  Would that make you feel better, Channie?”

                Himchan’s expression lightened for a fraction of a second before pouting even more.  “I can’t.  You know I’m on a diet.”

                “You don’t need to worry about that.  You look perfect the way you are.”

                Himchan instantly perked back up.  “You mean it, Gukkie?”

                “I do.  Actually, you’re looking a little too skinny.  You could really use it, so it’s my treat.”  Himchan skipped over to his manager, making sure to give Daehyun a good, hard elbow in the ribs before linking arms and cuddling up next to Yongguk.

                “Can we go out for barbeque afterwards, too, Gukkie?”

                “Don’t push it.”  The pair turned to leave, but Yongguk made sure to turn back to Daehyun and mouth Call me with a wink before being dragged off by the overly excited Himchan.

                “Looks like you made a new friend,” Youngjae broke the silence as Daehyun watched the older pair leave.  Daehyun turned back to his own charge.

                “Just a business contact.”  Youngjae’s eyes narrowed, obviously not buying in Daehyun’s story, especially since the older man seemed to be so nervous about it.

                “Whatever, let’s go.”

 

                The car moved slowly through Seoul traffic, Daehyun drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in impatience.  Youngjae lounged in the backseat, studying the man in front of him.  As much as he wanted to ignore them, he couldn’t keep Himchan’s words from continuously flitting through his head.  As repulsive as he found Daehyun’s cold and controlling personality, he couldn’t deny that the man was objectively handsome.  He had nice cut features and a body to match.  If only he could get the stick out of his , he would actually be pretty hot.

                Maybe it wouldn’t kill him to have a little fun before Daehyun inevitably ran off, Youngjae thought.  It had been a long time, longer than he cared to admit, since he had been with anyone.  He hadn’t even considered the possibility that Daehyun might be gay (honestly he had just assumed the personality-less man was aual), until he saw him talking to Yongguk.  He had been squirmy like a school boy and it had been a dead giveaway.

                “When was your last relationship?”  Daehyun startled at the voice coming from the back in the otherwise silent car.

                “Excuse me?”

                “When was your last relationship?” Youngjae repeated, impatient for an answer.

                “Uhhhhh…” What was this sudden interest in his personal life?  “In college, I guess.  We broke up when I started working for Matoki.”

                “Why?”

                “I got busy.  This is a time consuming job and I needed to focus on my career.”  Youngjae hummed in understanding.  Daehyun was torn between joy that Youngjae actually seemed to be interested in getting to know him and suspicion as to what the younger’s intentions may be.

                “So, was he hot?”  Daehyun almost side swiped a car, managing to right the wheel at the last second.

                “W-w-w-what?! Why would you ask that?!”

                “I guess he wasn’t then?”

                “NO.  I mean, why are you asking about a ‘he’?”

                “I just assumed.  I mean, the way you were talking to Yongguk back there-“

                “WELL YOU ASSUMED WRONG.”

                “Sorry, I just-“

                “You can’t just go around assuming like that about people.  Do you know how rude that is?!  Do you not have any sense?!  I can’t believe you’d just say something like that.  Are you an idiot?”

                “I SAID I WAS SORRY!”  Youngjae shouted, face turning red from anger.  He flung himself back against his seat, staring out the window.

                The rest of the ride back to the office was in complete silence and once they arrived Youngjae made sure to slam his door and stomp off before Daehyun even had the car in park.  Daehyun took a moment and ran his hands over his face and through his hair as his elbows rested on the steering wheel.  He had gone too far, yet again.  Sure, Youngjae had been prying too much into something that Daehyun really didn’t want to talk about, but he shouldn’t have said what he did.  He gave himself a quick pat on the face, knowing that he needed to apologize to the actor for the second time that day. 

                He made it to Youngjae’s door and opened it.  “Hey, Youngjae, I-“

                “Get. Out.”

                Daehyun moved over to the make-up chair once more, across from the actor who was currently reading fan mail.  Or, rather, giving it an uninterested, cursory glance before tossing it aside and moving on to the next letter.  “Look, Youngjae, I’m sorry.  I know I’ve already said that today, but I am.  I shouldn’t have blown up at you, but you really can’t just go around asking people questions like that.”  Daehyun was completely unsurprised when he, once again, was met with complete silence.  He merely watched the face before him, looking for some emotion to pass across the features, but there were none.

                “Youngjae, I… Youngjae, what’s wrong?”  As the younger had opened and looked at a letter, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.  “Youngjae?”  Daehyun stood and reached out to grab the letter, but Youngjae quickly jerked his hand back.  “What is it?”

                “It’s nothing.”

                “It’s not nothing.  You look concerned.”

                “What the hell do you care?!” Youngjae spat, standing to meet Daehyun face-to-face.  “You’ve made it clear how much you hate me and I’ve made it clear how much I hate you.  Trust me, you’ll be gone soon enough.  So, save your worry for someone who gives a damn.”  Youngjae turned and stormed off, making sure to keep the letter clenched tightly in his hand.

 

                Daehyun strolled through the shopping center, eyeing the various racks of clothes.  Yongguk’s words had gotten to him and he hated to admit it, but he was kind of curious what it would be like to dress like that.  In college it had been all t-shirts and jeans and then he had practically lived in suits since he graduated and started working.  He didn’t even have free time to go out with people and thus never needed casual clothes.

                “This is stupid.  This is not me and it’s not professional.  Just forget it,” Daehyun mumbled to himself and turned to leave, but was abruptly stopped by the smiling salesgirl who was standing in his way.

                “What can I help you with today?” she asked in a chipper voice, her eyes giving him a once over analysis.

                “I…uh… It’s nothing.  I’m good.”  He tried to walk around her, but she stealthily moved into his way.

                “How old are you?  35? 36?”

                Daehyun crinkled his nose at this.  “29.”

                “See, you don’t look it with that out of style suit you’re wearing.  But this… now this.. would suit you.”  She reached around him, making sure to keep him trapped as she grabbed a jacket off the rack.  “Let me get some pieces to go with it,” she said as she handed the jacket to him.  “Now, off to the dressing room with you.”

 

                Daehyun cursed at the heavy  load in his arms, though the weight in his wallet felt much lighter.  The salesgirl had had her proverbial way with him and now he was leaving with more clothes than he had ever owned in his life.  “I really need to learn how to stand up for myself,” he groaned to himself.  Just as he was about to reach the elevator for the parking garage, something in a store window caught his eye, however.  A large, plush, fluffy, white and yellow stuffed bunny was perched in the display.  He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t take his eyes off it.  It seemed to be drawing him into the store and before he knew it, he was pushing open the glass door, bell tinkering after him.

                “Can I help you?” the elderly saleslady asked.

                “How much for that rabbit in the window?”

                “Oh, is it for someone special?” she cooed as she went to retrieve it and brought it back to the counter.

                “Err…something like that…” Daehyun replied, unsure of how exactly to explain his relationship with the person he intended to give it to.

                “Well, that’ll be 30,000 won.”  Daehyun balked at the price, but pulled out his wallet anyway.  As he finished paying the woman slid a collar with a blank name tag and a black marker across the counter towards him.  “Don’t forget to name him.”

                “Name him?” Daehyun inquired, picking up the marker and thinking.  He didn’t know why, but he just wrote down the first name he could think of and handed it back to the woman.  She fastened the cute, pink collar around the rabbit’s neck before putting him into a bag and bidding Daehyun a good day.

 

                “Youngjae, are you in here?” Daehyun opened the dressing room door and peeked in.  Youngjae was lounged on his favorite couch, as usual, this time playing on his iPad.  “I have something for you.  To say sorry about yesterday.”

                Youngjae glanced up from the screen with disinterest, but his eyes soon widened at the sight in front of him. 

                “What in God’s name are you wearing?”

                Daehyun looked down at his outfit, feeling incredibly self-conscious and Youngjae’s tone and shocked expression weren’t helping.  He was in what the salesgirl had claimed as her favorite outfit.  A black, tight, sleeveless button down that supposedly ‘accentuated his ic arms’, accented with a white tie and black jeans that he was sure were so tight they would keep him from ever having kids.  The outfit was finished with a pair of lace up, black boots.

                “What?  You don’t like it?  It looks stupid, doesn’t it?  I should go change.”

                “N-no.  I didn’t say that.  It’s just… where’s your usual hideous suit?”

                “Well, talking to Yongguk yesterday, he said it might help you get appearances if I started dressing like this…” Daehyun trailed off as he became uncomfortable with the way Youngjae’s eyes were glued to him, unblinking.  “Anyway, I got you something to make up for yesterday.”  He brought the rabbit out from behind his back and handed it to Youngjae who eyed it with a scrupulous expression.

                “A rabbit? Why?”

                “I don’t know.  When I saw it in the store, I just couldn’t help but think of you.”  Daehyun tried to read the expression of the actor before him, but Youngjae’s face was completely blank.  Though, his eyes never moved from the rabbit in his hands.

                “Joko?  What the hell does that mean?”

                “The lady at the store made me name him.  It was the first thing that came to mind.  But, you know, maybe anytime you get mad at me, you can take it out on him.  Punch him, kick him, bite him, whatever.  Then you’ll feel better.”

                “Ok, thanks, I guess.”  Youngjae’s tone was bored as he tossed the rabbit to the end of the couch and picked his iPad back up.

                Daehyun’s stomach fell at the complete lack of reaction.  He hadn’t been praying for a miracle, but he had been hoping for… something.  “I’ll… uh… I’ll bring you a copy of your schedules for next week a bit later.”

                Youngjae gave a disinterested hum, eyes never leaving the device in his hands as Daehyun turned around to leave.  As soon as he heard the door click, his eyes flickered to the end of the couch, however.

                “What?” he snapped at the rabbit, whose large black eyes were trained directly on him.  “What are you looking at?”  He turned his attention back to the iPad, but it wasn’t but a few seconds later that he found himself distracted and looking at the toy once more.  “Stop looking at me like that!  I don’t like you.  You’re not even cute…”  He tried to return to his browsing, but the internal, tugging feeling would not leave him alone.  “Fine, whatever, get up here,” he growled, grabbing the rabbit and tucking it snuggly under his arm, the two continuing their internet browsing together. 

 

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Author's Note:

Hey guys!  Sorry this took me longer than I promised.  Life and moodiness got in the way (<_<)

Anyway, I hoped you liked it!

And I would like to thank everyone who participated in the contest.  You all had fabulous guesses and it made my day to see everyone being so interactive.  I'll think of something else for a bit later on.

Also, I'm going to go ahead and apologize right now for any inaccuracies.  I have absolutely zero knowledge of what managers actually do or the way the behind the scenes interviews and variety programs run, so if someone out there knows more than me and realizes that my descriptions are complete , I truly apologize.  I'm making this stuff up as I go.

I hope you're all doing well~

Until next time,

<3 Dani

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Comments

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mistymountains 193 streak #1
Nice story!
Changrick_mania
41 streak #2
Chapter 17: I should be studying for my exam but I'm reading this XD This is beautiful and Daejae relationship is so cute
YukariStarzYjae
#3
Chapter 15: These is beautiful..i love all the bap characteristics u make..i love their friendship too..i love the plot..i literally love it all..chyeah ヽ(´∀`)ノ
broksj
#4
Chapter 17: I DIDN'T WANT IT TO END. OMGGG!! IT WAS GREAT. the ending, the proposal, everything about the story was great. YOU ARE PERFECT. THIS STORY IS PERFECT. I LOVE LIFE. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
smolbin
16 streak #5
Chapter 16: WVERYTHING WA SAMAZING I CANT EVENT WRITE PROPERLY BEVAUSE HOW HAPPY I AM WOh i am shook like for the last couplw of days this was the best ending i read..
RARKU94 #6
Chapter 17: And now i also finished reading this last part ;ooo; i'm gonna miss this fic so much, thanks again for writing it.
I forgot to tell you that i absolutely loved the way Himchan and Youngjae's friendship developed, they hated each other with burning passion and they ended as best friends, it was so cute.

I love u <3 i'll go read the requested fics!!!
RARKU94 #7
Chapter 16: OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS FIC WAS AMAZING, SO PERFECT OMG I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It made me go through all kind of feelings i swear, from laughing to crying and i loved every part of it. It was so well planned i absolutely loved all those twists in the story, and the characterizations, oh god, this has to be one of the best daejae fics i've read so far and I'm so glad I came across with it.
Thank you so much for writing and sharing this. I'll have to look for other fics you've written, specially if they're daejae
I love u so much
flytothesKAI
#8
Chapter 17: This story is so good that I really want to bang my head on the wall so I get amnesia and can read this again without knowing the ending
Nana_208 #9
Chapter 17: Oh my gosh!! This was so freaking amazing! :D I really enjoyed everything about this, from Himchan and Youngjae's divaness to Daehyun's dominate side to Yongguk's jealous side lol ^^ I loved it! Thank you author-nim for sharing this beautiful piece of work. :3
Vanja77 #10
this story is really amazing