Chapter 13. You Don’t Love Him

With eyes still closed, I automatically reached for him. I didn’t know how long I slept but it felt like I did for hours. When I realized he was no longer in bed with me, I opened my eyes and sighed.

Then, smiled as I stretched my semi-aching body.

I felt so well and thoroughly— adored.

I laughed at myself.

Just then I realized that he must have seen my surprise. I would have wanted to be there to see his reaction but this was better. I would give him time alone to enjoy my treat— to let him know that I wanted to make him happy the very same way he wanted to make me happy.

It was probably creepy that I almost copied everything that he did yesterday but that added to the charm— there’s no one else who knows him more than I do.

No one else.

Grabbing his dress shirt by the foot of the bed, I headed out of the room. I found him in the kitchen just in time to see him lift the cup. The smile that broke on his lips made me smile myself. He put it on as I walked silently away from his field of vision and sneaked behind him.

“Does it fit?” I said as I s my arms on his waist and rested my chin on his .

He turned to me with a smirk as he shot a quick look at my arm, “So we have a couple bracelets now.”

Gently, I anchored myself by placing my arms on my shoulder and pulled him closer for a kiss. I smiled at on lips, “I love you too, Oppa… ad infinitum.”

His clearly satisfied and happy grin was contagious. I stepped away and added, “Happy anniversary…”

“Yesterday.”

“Better late than never,” I rolled my eyes and walked away so he wouldn’t see the discomfort on my face.

“I thought you forgot.”

“Ha…” I muttered a sarcasm instead of allowing him to see that I flinched. “How could I?” That was what I wanted to say but I turned around with a playful smirk as I handed him his cup of coffee.

“You knew but never showed yourself yesterday.”

I sat across him, his words carry with them the weight of his feelings. How could he not see the weight of my own because of them—and most especially, because of the past. I stared at him trying to decide if I should really give him the reply that he didn’t want to hear.

But then I took the longest breath I could and sighed. Maybe this was for the best, “How can I forget? That was the best and the worst day of my life.”

I saw him wince and as if to make him feel better, I tried to smile.

But there it was, the pain on his face.

I couldn’t stop despite my own pain that was coiling inside me, “I don’t think I can look at you every year on that day.”

He nodded stupidly and I dropped my gaze on the empty plate in front of me. By my periphery, I saw him lift his cup and took a sip. I could feel his eyes still on me. Maybe he wanted to say something. Maybe he would apologize again.

My mind went on a panic mode. I squared my shoulders and met his worried look with a big smile, “I need to refuel!”

I dug in on the food that I could barely taste. He, too, ate in silence. What started great with our morning turned bleak but I couldn’t just tell him to go away.

He stayed— despite the silence that ensued, he stayed.

~~~

The succeeding days were awkward. I felt like I had this wound that whenever he was clo