JIYEON

He's...he's my boyfriend?

"Hm, are you sure about that? Maybe you had an amnesia too." I reached out to check his head but he backed away quickly.

"Are you crazy? Do you think I would lie to you?" 

This made me blush, to be honest. I think I just offended my...uh...boyfriend.

"What's your name, by the way?" At this, he lowered his head and looked straight into my eyes. I in my breath.

"Seungho. Yoo Seungho. Remember that, okay?" He flicked my forehead and laughed victoriously. Flinching, I rubbed my forehead.

"Tch. I can't believe I let you be my boyfriend." I murmured. He seemed so busy laughing that he doesn't even notice what I say.

"Why don't we walk around the place? It may remind me of memories, right?"

But at this, he turned to me and had this dark look in his eyes. 

"You like to relive the past? Is that what you want?" 

"But there are things that I would want to know. There are questions in my mind I want to be answered--"

"Isn't this chance a blessing? You cleared your mind of whatever happened in the past. You might know tiny bits of details from whoever told you, but you don't know the whole story, which is good or bad in your own perspective. But for me, it's better for you not to know."

"It's nice to do things that never reminded you of anything, right? It's like nothing happened yesterday"

I looked at him for a short while, and spoke, "But is it okay to throw away those memories? Our memories? 

"Wouldn't it be better to create new ones? Better ones?" He said. He smiled after seeing my defeated sigh.

---

As I've suggested, we are now walking around the place. It's a warm, summer morning, but the heat is bearable and there are lots of trees that shades our way.  It's around 11 in the morning when we left the house. We had been walking for awhile now, but I noticed he's a bit distant from me. He keeps a big space between us, and I don't know if that's out of courtesy or he just felt awkward being beside me.

And I noticed his pale face.

"Hey, are you okay?" I tried to go near him but he keeps our distance.

"What?! Of course. It's just that..." he trails off while rubbing the back of his head.

"I feel like you're fragile. And if you come near me, you might get in trouble." 

I tried not to laugh at this but it got the best of me. He stared at me with a confused face. 

"You're so protective, but the things you do are so weird. I never saw a guy who protects a girl in this way. The way I see it, you're protecting me from you." 

He murmured something to himself. He's really weird in a lot of ways. I wonder how he confessed to me.

We walked to the city proper and roamed a little. It's kind of crowded, considering it's a busy Tuesday. We walked past stalls which sells food, accessories and many other things that are affordable. I try to recall some places that I might have been three years ago, but all of these seems new to me. 

I wish I could feel something, anything, that could remind me of things.

I want to find myself. I felt like it was stranded in the past, and I will do my best to find it out.

But Seungho disapproved strongly, and I don't know why.

After passing by a lot of stores and buildings, we stopped by in front of this little restaurant that's hiding in the depths of the city. I wonder if this is where we usually eat, considering how well he knows the way to this place. 

"We'll eat first, then we'll walk again later." Seungho said and proceeded to go inside. I lagged behind him and before I can even enter the restaurant, something caught my eyes. 

I ran to it like it'll disappear if I'll be late even a millisecond. It's a little store. A book store. 

I touched the door handle and pushed it. Strange enough, I reached out my left hand to hold something, and that's how I knew it's the door chimes that stopped its sound. I wonder if I'm a regular customer and it's a habit of mine whenever I visit this shop. The only thing I know is that I am easily annoyed by the sound of these door chimes.

I saw a guy arranging stuffs at the corner and he's a little busy to turn his head to my direction. Thinking he's the store keeper, and that he might know me, I started walking to him but a strong hand stopped me to walk further. Seungho dragged me out of the store and brings me to the restaurant.

He doesn't speak a word, but I can see in his expression that he is worried because of what I did.

We sat near the corner of the restaurant and a waiter went to our table and got our orders. Seungho was a bit calm when these things are happening, but it's evident in his eyes that he looks upset, worried. 

I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have got away from his reach and let my emotions lead me to somewhere away from him. I should have considered the situation, but I'm such an idiot.

Such an idiot.

"I--I'm sorry--"

"You should have known better than this. What if you had been kidnapped? What if you were lost? What if a car hit you? I thought you lost your memory, not your entire brain." 

My eyes widen at this. He must've seen my expression, because he quickly took back what he said.

"I--I don't mean it that way. I'm sorry." 

"It's okay. You're right. I must think like my age." I said. I shouldn't prolong this misunderstanding. It's pointless.

---

It's 4 p.m now. We had been walking the past 2 hours (including the rest time) but we grew tired and bought an ice cream. We headed to the park and decided to witness the sunset there.

I know this place very well. It's my favorite spot. I do have an amnesia, but it's a temporary one. And I don't think it affects all my memories. Strange enough, this place isn't the one I forgot. I know every nook of it, though the people I spent the time with in this place are very vague. So vague, they're unrecognizable. 

I wonder if it's with my brother, or someone else I don't know about at the moment.

We sat at the swing and stayed silent. He's still mad I think? Or maybe he's guilty because of what he said? He didn't speak much when we're still walking and he let me check out places that seem interesting to me. He let me roam around and enter any store I would want to go to, but he makes sure his eyes only see me. 

He's so over-protective, I tell you.

And now, we're sharing this awkward silence. It musn't be, since he's someone I'm very close to; he was my boyfriend. But then, his attitude towards me now is something I find hard to understand. Something hard to hold a grasp of.

"You know, I won't understand you if you keep on worrying about me. It's okay to think about yourself." I tell him, while I stare at the ground.

He must've looked at me for a little while to see if I can see his expression or not, because it took him a while to answer. "Am I suffocating you?" 

"I can't say for now. It's my first day to hang-out with you. And I did a thing that upset you. So what you showed today may be caused by my childish actions." I tell him.

"Give me a chance. I'm usually not like that. I'm just afraid to lose you again."

"I will. And don't be. I'm here now, let's make memories together again. Good ones that I will never forget. Does that sound appealing to you?" 

At this I turned my head to look at him, and with his grateful smile, he nods.

I stood up and he did too. He suggested to walk me home, but I insisted no. 

The sun already vanished through the horizon. He turned to look at it and spoke, "We didn't enjoy the sunset." 

"It's more beautiful in a good mood, trust me." And with that, I said goodbye and headed to my new home.

---

As I entered the veranda, I saw the forgotten sketchbook. I picked it up and admired the cover.

"What memories could this sketchbook be holding? I'm curious."

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