MYUNGSOO (Part2)

That same day, I was doing my English homework at the library. Seungho said he'll head home first, because Dad needed his help. He was hesitant to leave first, but I said he shouldn't worry about me that much. Being one year ahead of him, I think I can pretty much take care of myself.

All throughout the day, a smile is stapled on my face. If it isn't visible through my lips, then you should look at my eyes, because then it will show you how blissful I am. 

What if she's the one I'm looking for? What if we met again?

What if she's my dream girl?

I casually looked around for any signs of her, but then I only saw a few students. Some were playing basketball and soccer, while others walk around the campus and several of them studies at shady parts of the school. I decided I should go back to the tree place and do my homework there instead. 

The thought that Seungho has someone he likes makes me smile. It means he's finally opening up to someone besides me. I'm worrying too much about him having no social life despite his age, but then I also worry about him liking someone, because I know Seungho. I know him really well. He is kind and all, but he can be really possesive. And so, I should be really watchful of him. I shouldn't spoil him too much into recklessly creating relationships like that. Because he's not the only one who'll suffer, the girl will suffer too.

But I think instead of worrying too much about him, I should encourage him to view things differently. We've been familiar with each other already, and so the thing I need to do is educate him so we could prevent things from happening, rather than fix something that's already broken.

I finally reach the tree place, and there at the shady part of the tree where slow, growing grass were rooted, I saw the sketchbook she's holding so close to her chest when she fell.  "I must have forgotten to take these with us." I said as I stride across the vast grounds. The skyblue colored sketchpad lies peacefully at the ground. Shadow looms over it the moment I look down and studied the inanimate object.

I picked it up, as gently as I could. My fingertips traced the cover. A photo slipped from the sketchpad, and I picked it up as well. It's a picture of a little girl and a little boy. The guy looks a bit older than her, but the photo shows how close they are with each other. They were both smiling in front of the camera, the little boy's arm on the little girl's shoulder, and the little girl's arm on the little boy's shoulder. Both of them holds a koinobori, or a carp streamer. I remember making one when I was still as young as the children on the photo.  

I think the little girl on the photo is also the girl that fell from the tree. "Obviously. She's the owner of this sketchbook, idiot." I knocked myself on my head.

The koinobori reminds me of the festival, and the festival reminds me of her.

After a few months, it would be a year when I first saw her. That time my heart first experienced to beat in an odd, but beautiful, way. That time when I had proven to my parents there's nothing wrong with me, because I fell for her.

I looked around and saw no one near the tree place. I decided to bring the sketchpad with me until the time I see her again, since I think there's no chance of meeting her this afternoon. 

I grabbed my bag and put it on my back and held the sketchpad close to my chest. This way, even if I don't plan on looking at the sketchpad and see what I'm not supposed to see, I can feel her heartbeat close to mine. Because I think, this little thing should be taken care of. 

Just like her.

---

I was greeted with deep, angry voice when I reached the house at 7pm. My dad seems angry at me for staying outside later than I usually do. "It's the first time," he said through gritted teeth, "what are you up to, young man?" 

I was hesitating to state the truth. He might see me as a lunatic if I do. "I'm sorry." was all I said.

He took deep breaths and calmed after awhile. I stood there staring at my shoes. He turned his back to me, signaling the talk is over. 

I walked to my room and placed my things on my desk. The day was a bit tough, yet the only thing I remember all day was meeting her. I have read once in a good book that there are times in our lives when storms come at the time we are having fun and enjoying the day. But at the end of the day, we'll remember the good things, and throw the thought of the storm ruining our day at the back of our minds. I think that's how I'm feeling right now. There are some things that can ruin my day, yet her presence overpowered the storm.

I was changing into comfortable clothes then when Seungho barged into my room without any warning.

"Hey, watch it! I'm doing a private thing." 

"It's your fault you didn't lock your door." He remarked. "And it's not like your body is worth seeing."

I scoffed at this. He laughed.

"Hyung, would you help me with my homework?"

"English?"

He nodded.

"I knew it." I kid.

"Then you shouldn't have asked, idiot." He stuck his tongue out at me.

"Look who's talking." I say as I threw my pants to his face.

"YAH HYUNG!" He threw the pants back to me while I'm laughing so hard.

After the childish quarrel, I proceeded to my desk and Seungho followed suit. He handed me his notebook. I read his messy handwriting and remarked, "If you think I can teach you proper handwriting, I don't think I can help you right now. "

He scoffed. "That's not what I came here for. This," he points to the other page and it contains exercises for the subject.

"Aren't we through with 'subject-verb agreement'?" 

"Ahjussi wants me to redo it."

I hit the back of his head. "Don't call Mr. Kim that."

"Araso. Araso." He said while scratching the back of his head. "Please teach it to me again."

I looked at him for a moment, and all I can do is sigh. 

After a few hours of reviewing the subject, he finally understood the keypoints and answered the remaining questions in silence. I do my homework alongside him. Halfway through finishing a math problem, he suddenly spoke out of a long silence. 

"Hyung." He started.

"Hm?"

"About the girl," he hesitates, sighs, and continued. "She went home earlier today. So I haven't showed you who she is."

"I see." I said. "Why won't you leave me her name, instead? I'll make ways to know her."

He stopped writing, breathes, and looked at me.

"Jiyeon." He said, not skipping a beat. "Park Jiyeon."

And now, standing here infront of the girl named Jiyeon, Park Jiyeon, I wait as I hope she remembers me. Hoping she can watch the past we've shared through my eyes, I stared at her rather softly.

Aren't you going to say anything? After all these years I've been wanting to hear your angelic, sweet voice again. I still have the record of you singing your favorite song as I strum the guitar, and it never fails to lull me to sleep. Every night, I close my eyes and tried to remember every single detail of your face. 

How your eyes shines and how your nose crinkles whenever you smile. 

How your pearly whites shows as you laugh with your hands on your cheeks.

How your hair sways with the wind.

How your eyes can mirror the feelings I've been keeping deep inside my heart just to keep our friendship, together with my brother, stable and without any worries. 

But whenever your skin brushes with mine, even in the slightest touch, all the walls I've been building between us crumbles. 

That's why I left. But you still didn't understand.

I don't know if you still holds that grudge against me, but whatever it is, Jiyeon, I have to take you back. I have to, because I know your heart isn't happy now. Now that things turned like this.

"Hyung." 

I kept my eyes on Jiyeon's. "Do you want her to remember everything? Despite the pain you brought her?" Seungho said with a quiet voice.

She shifted her eyes to the ground. Is it a bad thing? I don't know. 

"Are we going to talk about this infront of her? I don't think you want her to know." I said, finally looking at Seungho.

"Both of us did something we didn't want to do, or at least didn't want to reveal ourselves. But we both had something we should be sorry about. I won't deny my own fault. But I'm paying back what I did back then, and I took care of her and kept her close to mine. For the past months we're happy, even without you. And I think we're getting happier as the days go by. Now that you're here, now that you're back, don't expect things to be the same. Don't expect her to be happy." Seungho finished, and tightened her grip on Jiyeon's hand. 

He turned around, Jiyeon still quiet as the night breeze, and now they're walking away from me.

"I don't expect things to be the same, " I began, and this made him stop in his tracks, "Because I'm not a coward anymore."

I heard him scoff, but this didn't made him turn around again. He just continued walking to his pickup, with Jiyeon walking beside him. 

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*sweeps spiderwebs and dusts off this story* OTL