Sitting in class, Namsoon lies down on his desk, having no intention to listen to the lesson. Turning his gaze outside to the field, he thinks back to the good times full of smiles and laughter. It seems so long again.

“Go Namsoon.” The teacher calls out. “Can you give us a poem?”

Namsoon lifts his head with a sigh. “Teacher, I’m not good at poems.”

“It’s fine. Just make one up.”

Standing unwillingly, he absentmindedly turns to the fields again.

The sun is dull. The sky is grey.

Without you here, things aren’t the same.

Life is nothing but shades of grey.

Breathing is hard and heavy.

Living is painful and empty.

Air is suffocating. Air is heavy. Air is killing me.

I feel like dying, drowning everyday with the hair I breathe.

With every breath I take, I die more and more inside.

Without you here, life is dull, life is slow, life is meaningless.

“N-Namsoon ah, do you have another one?” The teacher asks, taken back by his words. “Maybe one’s that’s more cheerful and happier?”

Namsoon sighs again, his face otherwise expressionless. Taking a deep breath, he stares ahead, feeling the class’s eyes looking at him.

A house full of gas,

A knife in my hands,

A belly full of toxins,

A noose around my neck,

I smell death coming for me.

I feel my life draining away.

I feel the toxins eating me away.

I feel the noose tightening.

Just a little more,

And I will be freed,

From this life after death.

Troubled by Namsoon’s ‘happy’ poem, the teacher tells him to sit down, picking another student to read his. She glances back at Namsoon, concerned about his lack of interest and gloomy mindset. “That’s good. Who’s next?” Her eyes notice a hand. “Young Woo?”

Closing his eyes, Namsoon pushes the voices out of his head, slowly drifting off to sleep. He dreams of happier times, of times with Heungsoo. He’s eating with Heungsoo, reading manhwa with him, waiting for him, watching him play soccer. He’s creating problems and pulling pranks with Heungsoo. He goes home with Heungsoo’s arm around his shoulders, entering the quiet house, dropping their stuff on the floor, making ramyun, eating ramyun, sleeping in the same room, and spending all their time together. But then… everything disappeared. There’s no more ramyun, no more manhwa, no more soccer…no more Heungsoo. He’s alone in the dark, cold, quiet house. Just him, no one else. Heungsoo’s gone. He’s been left behind. He’s abandoned. He’s left to fend for himself. Sitting in the dark, cold and alone, depressed and emotionless, his tears fall. His tears fall, but there is nothing. The air grows heavy, his chest pains. Oxygen becomes deadly, the cleaning supplies looks inviting. The blade in the kitchen looks warm. The gas becomes a pleasant smell. The thought of sleeping forever seems friendly and tempting. He can dream when he sleeps. In his dreams, Heungsoo is there. Heungsoo is always there with him in his dream.

“…soon. Namsoon. Wake up. Namsoon.”

Lifting his head up lazily, Namsoon notices the empty classroom. “What?” He looks up at Kang Joo’s frowning face. “What?” He asks grumpily.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Sitting up, he stretches his arms above his head. He grabs his bag and prepares to leave, frowning at the short girl in his path.

“Yah, don’t you care that we’re worried about you?”

“Why should I care?” Walking pass the girl, he heads out of the classroom.

“YAH! GO NAMSOON!”

“Lee Kang Joo.” Namsoon turns around with annoyingly. Having his name being yelled out like that brings back memories, unwanted ones. “I’m fine.” He shoves the door open and heads out. “So annoying.”

Namsoon ah~! Whay are you like this? ;A; What's wrong? Is this some kind of foreshadowing? What are you going to do? WHy are you so depressed? Don't do anything stupid! ;n;