Weddings. Who said they're fun and good?

 

"I'm going to ask Sooyoung to marry me."

She stares at her friend as she said this.

"Would you help me pick a ring, Jessica?"

Jessica didn't respond. She merely stares blankly across the table.

"Sica?"

The ice princess snaps out of her reverie and flashes a forced smile. "Yeah… sure. I'll help you, Taetae."

 

In the end, there was something different…

 

Jessica doesn't remember how everything changed.

One moment, she was arguing with Sooyoung about shrimp and then the next moment, Sooyoung's leaving her dinner in the oven and going out very late at night. Suddenly, the tall Shikshin stopped wearing those loose shirts and started paying more attention to her appearance.

The ice princess should be ecstatic. Free rent was within reach and soon all their monetary problems could be solved… but she wasn't glad. She didn't like the change at all.

Yes, it was true that Sooyoung still went out to watch those overly romantic movies, continued visiting her family. But she'd been smiling more. Laughing more. She had become even more affectionate than what one would expect from her.

She had become a lady of some sorts… and it was all because of HER.

No. it wasn't Jessica. It was not the blonde haired lovely girl – the most radiant of the eight beauties – who captured the heart of the 'cheerful' princess. No, it was the the dorky, loud, sweet leader, Kim Taeyeon, who softened the Shikshin's heart.

Jessica could dimly recall how her friend had suddenly stopped going out so much and started to Sooyoung in every thing she did. Jessica ignored it, thinking it was just a phase but still… there was a distinct change between her friend and Sooyoung. Anyone who saw the couple when they all went out could clearly see the tenderness they shared. The gentle touches, the sneaking glances and the soft smiles they exchanged were there for all to see…

It was only when one silent night in hopes of borrowing an earphone from Taeyeon, Jessica saw them in a tight embrace did she finally see the change.

Her heart lurched. went dry. Her hands turned into fists and she suddenly felt the need to physically hurt Taeyeon but couldn't.

 

In the end, there was a fight that was lost…

 

Instead, she watched.

She watched how Soo's hair glowed in the moon light. How her skin looked flawless and perfect. And how she looked absolutely content – with her eyes closed and her lips scrunched slightly to prevent her moans from escaping – in Taeyeon's arms as they moved slowly.

And it was there she realized in despair that she, Jessica Jung, loved Choi Sooyoung.

It was Tiffany who finally pulled her away from the scene. Sunny was there also, her cute face bearing a sorrowful expression for Jessica.

"Have you finally noticed, Jessica?" she had asked her, Tiffany's voice bore a tired tone.

Seohyun sighed and gave her a sympathetic hug. "Soo's in love. Taeyeon too."

"I don't care, Seobaby" Jessica insisted, the tone of her voice more forced than natural. "So what if they're in love. We should be happy for them."

"Jess…" Sunny whispered. Her eyes sad. "If you had only fought for her, then maybe it would be you in her arms and not—"

"No, Yuri."

Yuri lowered her gaze.

"I don't lo-" Jessica stopped herself and cleared . "I don't love her, Yuri… there was nothing to fight for to begin with."

She remembered that she cried that night. For the first time, she buckled down and let the tears fall because for the first time… she had lost a fight she should have took care of.

"How about this, Yuri?"

"No, Taetae. I don't think Sooyoung would like such a huge rock."

"You're right. Well, how about this one?"

"I don't think so. She detests gold and silver together."

"That's true… hmmm. Wait, how about this one? Jessica?"

The blonde stares at the simple silver band in her friend's hand and nodded.

"That's the one."

It pains Jessica to say this.

 

In the end, there were things left unresolved…

 

Jessica also doesn't remember how the conversation went. But she remembers that it was the first time Sooyoung had ever said her name to her face.

Jessica was in the kitchen, looking for something to eat one night when suddenly the Shikshin walked in. She was wearing a bathrobe. Obviously Taeyeon's since she it was so short that it exposed her long silky legs and her hair was tousled. The icy girl's chest felt incredibly tight but she remained calm.

Sooyoung looked at her surprised when she finally noticed Jessica there and smiled.

"Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook something for you?"

Jessica looked at her and her own heart tightened once again. "Uh, yeah. Could you cook up a snack or something? I'm hungry."

Sooyoung laughed. It caught Jessica off guard. "You're always hungry."

Jessica glared at that statement, but her gaze softened as the Shikshin shook her head playfully at Sica and started to pull out vegetables from the refrigerator.

"What would you like? Stir fried noodles? Fried shrimp? Mochi?" she asked.

"Fried shrimp."

She nodded and started with the work; cutting up the fresh shrimp and vegetables with great precision and poise. Jessica stood, watching her from the doorframe – a small smile tugging from that icy lips.

She had blossomed into a very beautiful woman. Not that she wasn't appealing before, the blonde thought to herself; it was just that – she had grown even more attractive now that she was smiling more.

And what pained Jessica the most is that it wasn't her that caused this change.

"How have you been, Jung?"

The shorter girl stood up straighter. This was the first time she had ever called Jessica by her surname before… at least, not as openly and sweetly as she had just said. Jess cleared .

"I've been great. And you?"

She grinned. "Never better."

How strange it was that they could converse in such a civil manner. She almost forgot that Sooyoung was once such a loud creature. She sighed. It just goes to show that things have changed.

The ice princess was thinking too hard that she hardly noticed that her companion had stopped chopping. Jessica looked at her strangely before she spoke.

"Do you find it strange that Taeyeon and I are…?"

"Seeing each other?"

She blushed. Good Lord, she never blushes… at least not about me Jessica thought bitterly.

"Yes. Do you find it odd?"

She avoided the tall girl's eyes as she replied. "No, not really."

Out of the corner of Jess' eyes, she saw Sooyoung smile. The tall cheerful princess wiped her hands on the hand towel and sighed.

"You're not a very good liar."

Jessica looked at her in surprise. "I'm not?"

She shook her head. "No. Normally, if you had first heard about us, you would've have already started screaming how this was just a ploy to turn me into a lady… but you haven't done that. At least, you haven't tried to yet."

Sooyoung shrugged as she turned back to the stove. "I just find it odd, that's all."

"And if it makes you feel any better, I didn't think Taeyeon was serious at first too. But, she's proven herself. Somehow… and, actually, I didn't really want it from her but--"

"Don't tell me. I really don't care, Syoo." The shorter girl said, stressing the word 'don't' as hard as she could as she turned away from her.

"Oh. Well, okay." She resumed cooking. "Anyway, I'll serve these for you later in the dining room."

"Yeah, sure." Jessica walked out of the kitchen, her head hung low. She stepped away from the doorway and leaned against the wall for a moment, listening to Soo hum to herself as she cooked their meal.

"I don't care. I don't care."

The words felt like metal in .

 

"I told you didn't, I?! I told you to do something before Sooyoung finds someone else!" Hyoyeon exclaimed, shaking her fair head at Jessica. "But you did nothing! And now, you're wallowing in your self pity."

"I am not wallowing."

"Shut up, Jung Jessica." She glared at her.

"You could've done something. But you didn't. Now it's you who's to blame."

 

She remembers she hates how Hyoyeon was right.. About everything.

 

"We've been together for quite some time now… and I've never had to do this in my entire life but I want to do it… with you…"

Taeyeon looked nervous which was odd and new for everyone who knew her as she took out a red velvet box from her pocket. Sooyoung merely stared at the short girl for a moment, before her eyes went wide.

"No. Way."

"I haven't even asked you yet"

"No. No, it's not that. It's just…" She looked at Taeyeon in surprise. Jessica merely shrugged and turned away.

"I'm serious, Sooyoung. I want you to become my wife." The leader looked at her. "Would you?"

Silence.

"Yes. Yes, I'd love too!"

Jessica's heart tightened as they embraced.

 

In the end, there was just one thing you had to know…

 

Jessica does remember how Sooyoung found out that she loved the dorky leader.

But she still had no idea why she even came to their wedding. But she was there that day, and the damage was done.

Jessica was in a room, getting ready for the wedding when someone came knocking on her door. She was beautiful, with her hair down and no make up. She looked sheepish for a moment, with a bracelet in her hands.

"Could I talk to you for a moment?"

Jessica took a step back she timidly walked in. She stared down at  for a minute or two before speaking. She remembers how her heart felt, beating madly that moment.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to get ready now? I'm sure Hyo's already looking for you."

She looked up at her now. Sooyoung's eyes were dark and her heart started beat faster. "What is it?"

"Jessica Jung, hey… I love Taeyeon. Truly."

Jessica's heart squeezed. Did she really have to rub it in? She grunted. "Yeah, I know that."

"No, wait, you don't. I love her but I've always wondered how it would have been like if I ended up with you."

Jessica stopped breathing for a moment. Did she just hear that right?

"What are you talking about?" Don't give me this crap.

Sooyoung sighed. She rubbed her arms in nervousness and looked at everything but Jessica.

The brunette tall girl studied the icy girl for a moment, taking in every detail as she stood there in front of Jessica. Her eyes were tangled but looked soft and smooth. Her skin was beautiful and her eyes even more. Jessica stopped herself from taking Soo in her arms, reminding herself that she was the best woman… And that holding the bride and thinking about how much she loved her would be against the 'Best Woman' Code.

If there was one such code.

"Choi, maybe you should just go get ready."

"I know we've never gotten along. We tolerated each other most of the time, but I've always thought that you were the closest friend I've had since… forever." Syoo smiled, still not looking at Jessica's direction. She walked towards the blonde's dresser, the wood of it.

"Hyoyeon used to tease us a lot. And it always got me to thinking about how she would have thought that we would be good as couple. To be honest, I still haven't found a reason."

Sooyoung swallowed. "Do you think… if things had been different… we would have ended up together?"

She looked at Jessica this time. And the shorter girl wanted to say yes but couldn't. If she did, then that would require her to spill her feelings… and that wasn't something she wanted to do. Especially not at one of her best friend's wedding.

And so she kept quiet. She tried to anyway. And Sooyoung took that as an answer to her question.

Sooyoung nodded once and cleared . "Right. Sorry about that. Uh… see you at the church later. And please, don't forget your speech."

She turned to walk out but Jessica stopped her. Her arms came wrapping the Shikshin into her embrace as she buried her face into Sooyoung's dark hair. The ice princess breathed her in for a moment before pulling back, her hand moving towards Syoo's cheek.

Jessica leaned towards her and softly, Jessica placed her lips on hers.

Jessica kissed her. For the last time since their meeting four years ago. And in that kiss she poured her emotions. Then she pulled away, leaving Sooyoung staring at her – confusion etched in her eyes.

"I probably won't say this later because Taeyeon might kill me but… you make a beautiful bride, Soo." She grinned slightly, staring into Sooyoung's eyes.

"You're the most amazing girl I have ever met. And" Her heart was stuck in as she continued, "Taetae's lucky to have you."

"Soo…"

"I love you. Choi Sooyoung."

"Do you take this woman to be your life and your breath? To have and to hold. In sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

"… Jessica…"

"And I always will love you." Jessica closed her eyes as she opened .

"But I'm not your groom. And you are not my bride."

 

Sooyoung looked at Jessica. Her eyes sad for a moment… her stare seemed to last for an eternity.

 

"Would you give me a reason not to go through with her wedding?" Her voice was soft but it seemed to echo across the room.

Sica could give a million reasons as to why she shouldn't go through the wedding. And she could even think of a million more reasons as to why she should be with her.

But…

"She is my friend."

"She is mine too."

She held her breath as she looked back at her groom… her friend.

 

"No. You love her."

"Yes but I…"

"I had my chance, Sooyoung. I had my chance for ten years. I don't deserve another chance. I've already wasted all of them."

-------

 

 

"I do."

Sooyoung's heart breaks once again.

 

Sooyoung walked towards her at the reception with her hair up and a small smile on her face.

"Would you care to dance?" she asked, holding out her hand. Jessica took it and they danced slowly to the music surrounding them. Jessica fought to keep her emotions in check as Sooyoung laid her head on Jess' chest.

"Thank you," the long legged girl whispered.

Jessica held her hand on her heart.

The reception was beautiful. Even more so, was Sooyoung in her wedding gown and a smile on her face.

The blonde stared at her from across the garden as she and Taeyeon waved goodbye to their guests and drove off to the airport, sipping her drink when Tiffany and Sunny walked up behind her. With a hand on her shoulder, Tiffany gave her a small smile.

"She's going to be happy… right?"

Both SNSD member nodded. "Yes."

Jessica smiled. "Good."

She excused herself and walked outside towards the far end of the garden and pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket. She read the lines once again for that day, feeling both elated and sorrowful at the same time.

 

Sooyoung had slipped this letter into her pocket while they danced that day. And in her heart she knew that this was the last thing she could have from her.

 

Because… at the beginning, it could have been her and.... her.

But in the end, there was someone else, and she would always love her.

Jeshika --

I loved you for years. And I love you still.

And I always will.

-- Syoo ♥