The End
Haneul: Appa Wasn't Here. (When You Weren't Here)
It's been a week.
But life just isn't the same without Haneul.
Doctor Kim Joonmyun follows his feet to the BAP studio, the envelope clutched in his hand. The night is crisp and dry, the Doctor's footfall gentle against the pavement.
Kim Joonmyun had become very close to Haneul. He'd been with Haneul almost constantly when his father had been away on tour, and he was a truly golden child. He'd sit there for hours on end with Joonmyun and talk about anything and everything.
He'd even given Doctor Kim a nickname meaning guardian - Suho. He'd said that it matches him because of the white coat he wears and his caring nature - tender words from a boy so young. Haneul had even told him of his mother, and showed him the photo that Daehyun had given him and the wedding ring. He also told him of how she'd gone to heaven a long time ago.
Joonmyun didn't realise he'd join her so soon.
"Suho-hyung, can you give this to Appa?"
He looks down at the envelope in his hands with fond eyes, already inside the building, stood outside the studio. He can hear laughter from the men of BAP, with some childish giggles mixed in through the door.
With a deep sigh, he raises a fist and is about to tap at the door with his knuckles when a familliar, hoarse voice calls out; "Doctor Kim?"
His eyebrows raise and his fist lowers as he turns to take in the sight of Jung Daehyun.
His eyes are a little red and so is his nose. He's a little pale and his voice is scratchy - it's obvious he's recently been crying. "Mr Jung! Please, call me Suho. I like it better." Daehyun raises an eyebrow but doesn't question him. He nods gently instead. "Where have you been?" Suho asks in concern for the lonely man.
"Just the bathroom," he shrugs. "I'm alright. What are you doing here, Suho?" His eyes glance down to the envelope in his hands briefly, but then search Suho's eyes for an answer. He hasn't seen him since... Since then. Why turn up so suddenly?
"Oh! Um, Haneul wanted me to give this to you. I'm sorry, I should've come earlier." But I couldn't bring myself to. I could've saved your son. I'm sorry.
He holds out the envelope to a surprised Daehyun. His eyes are wide and focused on the envelope, wondering what on earth Suho is talking about. He outstretches his hand and gingerly pulls the envelope from Suho's hold. It's a little heavier than he expected, but then, he wasn't particularly sure what to expect in the first place.
With a gentle smile to Daehyun, Suho steps aside to allow him access to the studio door that he was blocking, the gleeful giggles of the other BAP father's children ringing through the air.
Haneul could've been with them. If only I'd...
With a small sad smile, Daehyun shakes his head gently. "No, it's okay. I don't fancy going back in there, anyway."
Suho nods in understanding, a gentle expression on his features. "Go on home, then. I'll tell them all that you're a little tired." He puts a hand on Daehyun's shoulder and gently steers him towards the exit as the younger has his eyes still fixed on the envelope.
On the front, all it says in messy, seven-year-old hand-writing, is; "To Appa, love from Haneul."
-----
Daehyun sits at home at the table, a mug of Haneul's favourite hot chocolate in his hands. Another mug sits opposite him.
"So, Haneul. Let's read this letter, hm?" He beams at the untouched mug of chocolate. He knows that its probably not helping him much, imagining that he's still here. I should move on, but I can't. I don't want to.
He turns the envelope over in his hands, reading the return address again. Mr Jung Haneul, Heaven.
He feels his throat swell up and his eyes begin to water, but he swallows the tears away. Delicately so as not to rip the envelope, he peels it open to get to the contents inside.
He jumps as a small package wrapped in paper slips out and slides onto the table. He chuckles and looks back into the envelope, pulling a couple of folded notes out. Upon sight of the first one he unfolds, a sharp gasp emits itself.
"I finished my picture! I wanted you to see it, Appa. It's for you anyway," he beams. Daehyun looks over his shoulder, chuckling again before looking at it.
His heart jumps in his ribcage, and his eyes widen at what he sees. Or rather, who. There's no mistaking those blue eyes. Haneul asks, "Is she pretty, Appa?", the face on the picture lovingly.
On the paper was a picture of Haneul's mother, by the hands and crayons of Jung Haneul himself.
Daehyun's fingers join Haneul's in tracing the lines on the paper. "She's beautiful."
On the back of the drawing, Jung Haneul had written as neatly as he could manage, "You left this on my bed when you went away, Appa. I told you that you could keep it!"
A soft chortle escapes Daehyun as he turns to the mug of chocolate, "Appa can't remember everything, you know, Squishy." He shakes his head and unfolds the other piece of paper, not quite sure wether he's prepared or not. The note reads;
"Hi, Appa!
I'm sorry that I got poorly again. I didn't mean to be.
But don't worry about me, I'll be okay, because we're warriors. ^^
I will tell Umma that you miss her and love her. She will be glad to know. And I'm sure she says hi to you, too. And don't worry, I will recognise her in heaven, because I took the photo that you gave me with me in my heart. Thank you for that photo, Appa.
I gave you back Umma's ring, too. If they didn't let her take it to Heaven, they won't let me, either. So, I'll have to give it to you, instead. Don't lose it, okay, Squishy?"
With tears in his eyes, Daehyun unfolds the paper that's wrapped around the package. Inside is a white gold ring on a silver chain.
"This is Umma's wedding ring. They wouldn't let her take it to heaven with her, so she gave it to me instead. But now you can have it, Squishy. Just don't lose it, or I'll have to come and sit on you."
"I love you, Appa. Remember that, because I won't be able to tell it to you anymore, I don't think.
Don't be sad because you wasn't there. You was doing your job, which is good. I know you will be there, though, inside me. And I hope I'll always be inside you too, Appa, in your heart, like Umma always is.
I love you, Appa!
Lots of love, your Squishy, Haneul."
Daehyun isn't sure whether to laugh or cry.
A tear drops onto the note.
Haneul is gone forever.
But he'll always be a part of his father.
If you believe this story deserves it or pulled at your heartstrings, please take a moment to upvote or comment. This kind of tragedy truly happens and I'd like to raise the awareness.
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