Chapter Two
Haneul: Appa Wasn't Here. (When You Weren't Here)
Yoo Youngjae knows how worried Daehyun is for his son. So, he comforts him and lets him break down in front of him whenever he needs, letting himself be his shoulder to cry on. He understands how he feels - being an idol and having a young family at the same time is hard enough, when you're constantly trying to protect them from fans and the press, and trying to come home as often as possible.
Youngjae's wife is alive and well, his kids are happy and healthy.
But Daehyun? No, Daehyun isn't as lucky. His wife was taken from him too soon, and his son is falling more ill by the moment.
He remembers when Daehyun came to visit him once, the first time without Haneul. When Youngjae first saw that Haneul wasn't by his appa's side, he feared the worst. Daehyun had arrived on the doorstep looking exhausted and drained, and gave the Yoo family an update on Haneul's health. Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as he'd predicted.
He remembers the look in Daehyun's eyes when he announced that Haneul's hair had all fallen out, and that he was too weak to climb out of bed on his own. He was dejected and hanging on to the last bit of hope, willing himself to keep his faith in the doctors, hoping they find a suitable bone marrow match soon.
That was a couple of weeks ago, and Haneul's condition hadn't shown any signs of improving.
Daehyun's quiet tears stop after a while of clinging to his best friend for comfort. He breaks out of the hug and sits back on the sofa in Youngjae's house, slumping down in it. Youngjae sits beside him, a quiet sigh leaving his lips. "He'll be alright, Daehyun. He's just like his father; he won't go anywhere unless you kick him the whole way. The pair of you are strong and stubborn as asses."
His words pull a small chuckle from Daehyun, as he looks down to fumble with the ring around his finger again, tears still in his eyes. He rubs them away with the back of his hand, willing himself to be strong again. For himself, for Haneul, and for his wife.
This is so hard for him - he feels so alone, even with Youngjae beside him. He feels utterly useless. The doctors have told him time after time that there's nothing he can do, but he doesn't want to just sit back and watch his world fall apart in front of him. He wants to help! He wants to stop this from happening!
But he can't. There is literally nothing he can do.
He's come to Youngjae with the news that Jung Haneul has been moved to the hospital because he needs a closer watch over him - the bone marrow search is taking too long. They say that it's because he's from parents - it's hard to find donors with a match so specific.
Things aren't looking up for the two remaining Jungs, but they have to hope. They have to.
Daehyun buries his head in his hands again, something he's been doing a lot more lately. Youngjae pats his back in sympathy and stands up, stretching out. "I'm going to make some tea. Want some?"
Sitting back up straight with a sigh, he nods appreciatively. "Thanks, Youngjae." Just as Youngjae is about to leave the room, a ringing from Daehyun's pocket takes his attention. He pulls the phone out of his pocket and his heartbeat fastens as he reads the caller ID. Oh, God...
With frantic fingers, he presses the answer button and puts it on speaker for Youngjae to hear. "Hello?"
"Is this Jung Daehyun, Jung Haneul's father?" A soft male voice on the end of the phone asks.
"Yes, it is. What's wrong? Is everything okay? How's Haneul?" Daehyun can't keep the panic out of his voice. It keeps creeping up on him, even when he tries to keep his tone calm.
"Calm down, Mr Jung!" The doctor chuckles. "I'm Doctor Kim Joonmyun. I've called personally to deliver the news that we've found a suitable bone marrow match for your son. Please, come to the hospital as soon as possible, as we need to discuss the match and have the transfusion done as soon as possible."
Daehyun's eyebrows disappear under his fringe, having risen up his forehead in surprise. His heart pounds in his chest upon hearing the miracle, Is this a dream? Upon the realisation that this is reality, a bright smile spreads across his lips, lighting up his whole face.
On impulse, he shoots up from the sofa with such speed that it causes Youngjae to jump out of his skin, wearing a grin almost as wide as Daehyun's. Still grinning like there's no tomorrow, his hand flies to the back of his neck in disbelief as he asks repeatedly, "Really? Are you sure?"
Doctor Kim chuckles again from the end of the line, amused and touched by the ecstatic tone of the young father. "Yes, yes, I'm very sure. Now please, come to Haneul's room in the hospital. Once you sign some papers, we can go ahead with the injection right away. Until then, Mr Jung."
Daehyun blinks back the tears that cloud his vision and nods, forgetting that the doctor can't see him. "I'll be there in ten minutes! Thank you! Thank you so much, Doctor Kim!"
He hangs up and turns to look at Youngjae, who he'd forgotten was there. Upon eye contact with him, he lets out a sound that's caught somewhere between a disbelieving laugh and a relieved wail and keels over, tears falling from his eyes at a rapid pace once it finally dawns on him that his son could be guaranteed a future. He buries his head in his hands again and sobs in overwhelming exultation, his knees becoming numb from his pressure on the hard floor.
Youngjae lets out an overjoyed "Thank God!" and kneels beside his sobbing best friend, rubbing soothing circles on his back as a few relieved tears escape his own eyes.
Maybe he'll be alright after all.
-----
Jung Daehyun is in Haneul's hospital room, holding his son's hand as they inject the bone marrow into his hip bone. Haneul had to be sedated to have it done, as he would've been too weak to be conscious when they inject it, and he has a fear of needles anyway.
Daehyun watches Haneul's sleeping face instead of watching the injection - he's not really one for needles, either. His son is still beautiful to him, holding so much resemblance of his mother, even though you can easily see that he's terribly ill.
His cheeks aren't round and peachy as they were before, his skin and lips scarily pale. All his hair on his body has fallen out - his beautiful head of thick, glossy hair to the hair on his legs, and even his eyebrows and eyelashes. It's all gone.
Though his smile will always be the same.
Daehyun's eyes cloud over as he remembers what Doctor Kim had told him before he'd signed the papers.
"Mr Jung, you have to understand that this is not a perfect match. It's the best we could find, but it's still a risk. If this marrow helps Haneul's condition, then he'll be able to live normally again in a few months. However, if it doesn't help him, we have a lot to lose. Haneul's life will be cut even shorter than if he goes without the injection. Please think carefully before you sign anything, Mr Jung. Is this worth the risk?"
-----
A couple of weeks have passed since Haneul had the bone marrow transfusion.
The signs are proving positive.
His skin is slowly regaining its colour and he can sit up in bed again. His hair is growing back, but it's not thick and silky like it was before - it's brittle and dry, much like straw. He won't let anyone touch his hair on the grounds that if you move it, it hurts his head.
Daehyun is optimistic, truly thrilled that his son is flourishing again. He's always been the same little Jung Haneul, but now, he's really acting like him again. His gleeful little laugh, the shine in his eyes and the adoration for his father. It’s all coming back again.
Many times, his manager has called him, constantly nagging him to speak to the chairman. But since Haneul's transfusion, his replies have been positive. "Tell him I'll be back soon," he often said, "Haneul's getting better. Just one more month and I'll do that tour with BAP. Just give me one more month."
And that month is over now - a month has gone since the transfusion. With his bags packed and in the van outside with the rest of BAP, he requested the driver stop at little Haneul's hospital before they all head to Incheon, the first date on the tour. So here he is, saying a last quick goodbye to his Haneul before he leaves, returning home to see him in just over a month.
The doctors and nurses had tried to reason with him not to go, but Daehyun had already promised the chairman that he could fire him for not sticking to his contract if he didn't keep to his word. Besides, Daehyun has full faith in his son and the hospital again, he's practically over the moon with joy that he's getting better.
The nurses had constantly said, "Please, stick around just a bit longer, Mr Jung. I don't mean to scare you, but it usually gets better before it gets worse. Just wait a while."
But he didn't listen - he's going to do what he does best, and make his son proud.
"Make sure you do good, Appa, or I'll have to come and sit on you. I'll be watching you on the telly to make sure!" Haneul smiles, wagging a little finger in his face with a raised eyebrow, which is also beginning to grow back.
Daehyun chuckles and rubs his son's back, nodding enthusiastically. "Course I will. But only for you, Squishy! Now, you have to make sure you're good for Doctor Kim and Dara Noona, or else I'll have to come and sit on you, instead. Okay?"
"Okie dokie! Pinky promise?" Haneul holds out his little finger to his appa, and Daehyun entwines his own little finger with his.
"Pinky promise."
From the door, he sees Youngjae out the corner of his eye. He waves and greets Haneul cheerfully, before turning to Daehyun. "Manager-hyung sent me to come and get you; we're all ready to go."
Daehyun nods a little deflatedly, already beginning to miss Haneul. It's been ages since he last left for so long. He turns to his son and smiles brightly, which immediately catches on, sharing smiles that look so alike. "You have my smile, Squishy."
Haneul giggles and nods. "I know, Dara Noona told me," he bubbles, referring to his main nurse with the happy grin never leaving his face.
"I see. Come here, Squishy," Daehyun agrees and pulls Haneul into his embrace, patting his back softly. With a gentle voice, he murmurs, "Appa has to go now, okay?" Haneul nods into the crook of his neck. "Remember to be good for Doctor Kim and Noona. And don't lose Umma's ring, okay? Have you still got it on?"
Haneul untangles himself from his appa's arms and nods, pulling the ring out from under his hospital gown, the chain still round his neck. He looks down and it lovingly, whispering, "I'll never take it off, Appa."
Daehyun sighs in affection, watching his little warrior in silence. He's gone through so much, and yet he's still as strong and wonderful as he ever was. "See you later, Squishy. I love you."
"I love you too, Appa."
Though this battle, the warriors have become even closer.
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