Unfortunately, rumors, once again, will remain as nothing but rumors. You’re asking me why do I say that despite the words of the girls? Simple.

Doo Joon rejected me.

Doo Joon (4:24PM) I’m sorry but... I’m not able to reciprocate your feelings.

Crushed, once again.

Soo Yun (4:25PM) Ah! It’s ok haha! This won’t change anything between us, right?

Doo Joon (4:25PM) Yeah, of course!

Rejected once again, heartbroken once again. Surprisingly though, I didn’t cry this time. Maybe it was cause I didn’t love him as deeply as I loved Gi Kwang? Or maybe it was cause my heart started becoming numb to rejection? Yeah, maybe that’s the reason.

But it still hurts.

True to his words though, we were both still very, very close to each other. It happened to be my exam period that time. He always accompanied me to the library to study. Though he wasn’t very good at studying, he just sat beside me and watched over me.

After my exams, my world came crushing once again but this time, it wasn’t cause of love. I woke up at 6AM in thr morning to one of the saddest news in my life.

My grandfather had lost his fight against cancer.

Throughout this tough period in my life, Doo Joon stood by me. He continued chatting with me everyday, making sure I was ok and that my grandfather’s death didn’t affect me too much. Slowly but surely, I came to terms with my grandfather’s death.

Thinking back, I’mt thankful that Doo Joon was there to help me overcome my sadness.

Despite his kindness, I started looking at other boys. I mean, after all, why should I stay in love with someone who doesn’t return my feelings? Eventually I convinced myself that I liked Hong Ki, another member in our cosplay group.

I knew that wasn’t the truth though.

End october, it was finally my holidays! 2 months of absolute freedom! And also... something happened. It was almost like a miracle to me at that time.

Doo Joon (3:22PM) Hey, Soo Yun, do you still like me?

I was shocked when he asked me that question on MSN. Why so sudden? A month after rejecting my initial confession...

Soo Yun (3:22PM) Why?

Doo Joon (3:23PM) Just answer the question!

I bit on my lower lips. Am I still in love with Doo Joon...? Hong Ki appeared in my mind but that picture of him didn’t even last for 0.1 seconds.

Yeah, it’s official. 1 month later I’m still dumbly in love with him.

Doo Joon (3:25PM) Soo Yun?

Soo Yun (3:25PM) Yes.

Doo Joon (3:25PM) Answer the question!

Soo Yun (3:26PM) Yes as in I still like you...

Doo Joon (3:26PM) Oh. :D!

What’s with that reply? He asked me such a serious questions and that’s the only reply he is going to give me!? You must be kidding me!

Soo Yun (3:27PM) Why did you ask that anyway?

Doo Joon (3:27PM) Because I like you too. The only reason I rejected you that time was because I knew your exams were coming up soon and I didn’t want to distract you.

I was absolutely terrified on our very first ‘date’. Heck! It wasn’t even a proper date! It was the first time I was meeting him in person after we got together so I dragged Cho Rong along with me. And boy am I glad I did so.

The moment I met Doo Joon, my ENTIRE body heated up almost instantly and I felt extremely feverish, my cheeks grew super red! I am not exaggerating at all. This lasted for almost the entire date.

I didn’t dare to speak to him and only took occasional glances at him. Only Cho Rong and him were talking. I just replied with a simple nod to his conversations. Suddenly, he stopped walking. I looked up at him with a curious look. And what he did next was... unexpected but so him.

“You’re an idiot.”

Instantly, I felt a vein pop on my forehead.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY!?” I started chasing him around as Cho Rong tried to calm us down. He suddeny stopped running and grabbed both my hands, pulling me close to him and smiled.

“Finally, you’re talking.”

This made me realize how stupid I was acting. Doo Joon was so clam yet I was being an idiot and avoiding him. Even if it was my first time out on a date, why was I acting this way?

“Sorry...” I looked down, embarrassed at the way I acted. He merely stayed silent and patted my head. I smiled, I love it when he pats my head, it always gave me a warm feeling in my heart.

Unfortunately, my first relationship didn’t last very long.