As I mentioned previously, I was bullied throughout my secondary school life.. It was hard, I admit, but I had friends to help me through it.

And it was the first time I fell in love, but he was the boy who just passed by.

Sure, I crushed on many boys, but this guy was the first one who could effectively make me blush and stutter whenever he came near me. He was also the first boy I cried over. I can safely say, he was the first boy I really fell in love with.

And his name was Lee Gi Kwang.

Gi Kwang had that blinding smile that instantly melted the hearts of all the girls. He was not only well liked in class for his great personality, he was also famous for being the charismatic drummer in our school band. And through some miracle, he was one of my closest friends.

I didn't like him at first but as I spent more and more time with him... I just fell harder and harder for him.

"Soo Yun ah!" One of my few friends in school, Hyo Sung, came running towards me. "I've got a secret to tell you!"

I chuckled, must be great news considering that her gummy smile was in full force. Hyo Sung was a renowed beauty in our school and boys simply would kill to talk to her. Honestly, she doesn't even have to bother talking to me, a simple no one but somehow, she became one of my closest friends and I thank god for that. "What is it, panda mama~?"

She puffed her cheeks at me. "I'm not your panda mama!" This was a running joke in the small clique I was with. She was so in love with pandas at that time. "Anyway, as I was saying. I've a secret to tell you. I'm dating Gi Kwang!"

In an instant, I felt my world crashing in. It was 6 months into year 1 and by then, I was totally in love with him but had told no one as I felt it was the right choice. Everyone in class kept spreading rumors about us, seeing as how we were both always teasing each other. Right I was about telling no one.

Well, I guess it's only logical that the prince and the princess gets together, eh?

"I am so happy for you!" I smiled brightly and hugged her. I really was happy for them but... sad for my pathetic self at the same time. My heart was crying though I didn't show it on my face. I struggled to hold back my tears.

"Thank you!!!" She returned the hug before letting go. "But keep it a secret ok? Nobody else knows." She winked as our clique approached us. 

"Hey~ Where are we heading after school?" Sun Hwa asked as the group consisting of her, Ji Eun, Sun Hwa and Gi Kwang came closer to us. 

"You guys go ahead, I've got some homework I need to catch up on." I began packing up and hugged each of the girls as I got ready to leave. When I came to Gi Kwang, I stopped and stared at him for awhile. At that moment I wanted so badly to break down in front of him but, I just shook my head and looked up at him, smiling.  

"Panda papa." I whispered before winking at him and running off, laughing.

"H-how does she know!?" I could hear his shocked voice as I walked away followed by Hyo Sung's laughter.

When I got back home, I didn't bother bathing or washing up. I threw myself on the bed, mentally and physically tired. I thought back to what Hyo Sung had told me earlier today. I could feel myself dying on the inside as a tear fell from my eye.

...Is this what a heartaches feels like?

I spent the night crying on my bed, the very first time I cried over a boy and sadly, it wouldn't be the final time I cried over Lee Gi Kwang.