The first time I lay my eyes on you, I knew I have fall. Deep. You’re…perfect. You walk pass me like a charming prince, together with your friends. The sun shine on your flawless skin, makes you glow and look so radiant in the comforting warmth of spring breeze, and when the distant between us is just a few feet away, a gush of wind suddenly blow hard, adding to the effect of how perfect you are in my eyes.

 

   If only you know, the wind didn’t just blew cool breeze to my heated body that day.

 

   All of the sudden, I felt this strange feeling crawling inside my trembling heart. A trembling heart that cause by you.

 

   Just like the wind, my love for you blew in to my heart, and refuse to leave since then.

 

   Everyday, I look at you from afar. I laugh whenever you laugh, I cried whenever you’re sad or in pain. I follow you like a shadow, hoping and praying that somehow you’ll notice my presence around you.

 

   With a tiny bit of dream, that someday, you’ll be able to acknowledge my love to you too.

 

   You, who steal my heart, owns it, and break it at the same time, over and over again. I’m in love with you. 

 

   I don’t know how much more can I stay in love with you like this. How much deep can I fall with you, more than I already did. All I know is, my heart is too stubborn to just give you up, no matter how much pain I cause to it by constantly gazing you from afar, reaching for something that seems…unreachable for my weak grasp.

 

   My heart clench watching you laugh your sweet giggles with your friends, dreaming that someday, I’ll be able to do the same with you. Someday, I will make you happy too.

 

   Sometimes, I feel so ashamed. I’m like a filthy beggar, begging for something that doesn’t and never belongs to me in the first place.

 

   So pathetic.

 

   Everytime I manage to gather up all my courage to approach you, you always ran away from me. I don’t know, whether you did it on purpose or not, but damn, it hurts.

 

   So much.

 

   I feel like dying.

 

   But that didn’t stop me from loving you.

 

   So here I am, stupidly gazing you from afar again, reaching out for you, without you even notice it.

 

   Then one day, I finally able to get closer to you. I smile my warmest smile, with looks full of love, hoping you somehow notice me.

 

   You did.

 

   You give me a nod of acknowledgement and a beautiful smile as a reply, before turning your head back towards your friends, not noticing how such simple gestures of yours manage to make my already beating like crazy heart almostburst with happiness.

 

   Finally, you notice me.

 

   Me, as in…me. Just me. Your fellow colleague. Not as the woman, who’s crazy in love with you, all this time.

 

   Only that.

 

   I’m standing ever so close, next to you, but you seems…too far away from me.

 

   I wanted to shout at you, saying that, this woman is in love with you for so long. This woman, who’s now standing next to you, has been secretly in love with you. This woman, right besides you is silently crying because of her onesided love.

 

   That woman who love you, is standing right next to you.

 

   That woman is now crying, because of you.

 

   But I can’t. I just can’t.

 

   Because I’m scared.

 

   I never told anyone about my feelings for you. Not even my closest friends. I acted as though nothing happen everytime you walk past me whenever I’m with my friend. I keep laughing, joking, talking to them, ignoring you, like you didn’t matter a tiny bit to me.

 

   While on the inside, I’m silently crying, my heart is aching in pain, because you matter everything to me. I want to scream that to you, but I can’t.

 

   Because I’m a coward.

 

   I’m a fool.

 

   This woman, who’s silently in love with you, is a big fool.

 

   I wanted to be loved by you, to be able to feel the warmth of your love inside my heart. I wanted you to hug me, just like how you always hug your friends. I wanted to be close to you, more than just a friend, or in my case, colleague. I wanted to do all that, but my stupid guts won’t let me.

 

   All I can do is stare at you like the pathetic woman I am, not even dare to open my mouth to greet you, moreover confess my feelings to you.

 

   I’m scared. I’m afraid that you’ll push me aside if you know about my secret. I’m afraid that you’ll ran away from me once you know about my feelings for you. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t know how I’ll be able to live, should that happen to me.

 

   Swallowing in all my guts, I decided to just continue gazing you from afar. Begging for your love in silent again, hoping and praying, that you’ll reach to me someday, little by little, even with tiny baby steps, as long as I be patient.  

 

   You’ll reach to me someday.

 

   I don’t even dared to approach you again, because I know, with every step I took to get close to you, you always two steps ahead from running away from me. So, I let you do the approaching from now on.

 

   Yah! Stupid man! This woman is in love with you! Did you seriously didn’t know? Or you just pretend to? Haven’t you notice that this woman is crying because of you?  

 

   If only I’m brave enough to shout that words to you.

 

   Sadly, i'm not...

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I didnt make a paring, because I wanted to make something new :3