The door bell tingles as Luhan and I enter the cofee shop. Luhan takes me to a pair of sofa at the middle of the cafe. He opens his black, long coat to reveal a broken white, knitted, turtle-necked sweater on top of a pair of fitting, dark blue jeans, and throws it to the small space next to him. His natural good look makes him rocks the simple outfit, turning people's heads toward him. I’ve never been in the spotlight before, so all the sudden attention at our direction—at him, actually, but since we are side by side, I am affected too—makes me wanting to dig a hole and burry myself in it.

“Hot chocolate sounds perfect in this kind of weather, right?” Luhan offers with his eyes glued on the menu that is already on the table, paying no heed to all the stares on him. I look down and am choked by my own saliva as I read the price written next to the name of each menu. Why would they charge that much for a glass of chocolate?

“Yeah,” I answer dryly, too surprised by the high pricing. Being oblivious to my reaction, Luhan nods eagerly and calls the waiter upon us. We order a cup of hot chocolate and a bowl of cream soup for each of us—Luhan made the ordering while I only follow him—and wait in awkward silence. I’ve never interacted much with him despite being in the same club and since he was the one who initiated the meeting, I expect him to be the one who breaks the ice, which he ends up doing.

"So, what do you think of this cafe?"

I look around before I answer him. As Luhan has previously described, the warm coffee shop seems welcoming with shades of chocolate as the main color palette. There are only a few people inside; with most of them are couples who are immersed in their own world. Comfortable, fluffy sofas are spread around the room, awaiting people to rest on them.

"I think this place is quite comfortable," I finally conclude and Luhan nods again in approval, clearly proud with his choice of place. However, my answer doesn’t satisfy him that he prods my opinion deeper. "If you are to rate this place in a scale from zero to ten for its suitableness for a confession, how much will you give?"

I unconsciously bit my lower lips as I think. I don't have any experience in making or receiving any confessions, so how am I supposed to know about that? It isn't my fault if I am not knowledgeable in the topic, as it isn't my forte. Ask me something about functions or integrals instead and I would be answering without any hesitation.

"Maybe... An eight?"

My answer comes out uncertainly. Luhan his left eyebrows in doubt and I helplessly shrink in my seat. The soft music lulling in the background and dimmed lighting add a romantic feeling to the cozy café, so I guess the score is quite suitable, right?

 "There are still a lot to do if I'm going to use this place, though," Luhan adds while tapping his lips with his finger in a pondering manner. "I'm thinking of candles, scented, of various sizes, placed around here," he explains excitedly, with hands hovering over the edges of the seat and the table, "flowers, preferably roses, laid on the tables, with petals all over the place," he gestures animatedly around our place, "and I wonder, would they let me pick a song to be played in the background? Would they mind if I ask them to dim the light a little bit more?" He caresses his nonexistant beards thoughtfully while his eyes dart to the back of the café, enthusiasm is radiating from his small gestures.

When he realizes that he is too deep in his own thought, Luhan turns around and looks at me expectantly, his doe-like eyes glimmering with zeal. "Well, what do you think?"

"That sounds like something that come out of a romantic movie, sunbaenim," I say unthinkingly, blurting the first thought that was formed in my mind. Luhan blushes and laughs awkwardly to ease his embarrassment.

"Ah, I can't help it. I'm a pretty hopeless romantic, Junghye-ssi," Luhan admits sheepishly while scratching his not-itching back of his neck. I can’t help but letting out an amused giggle.  I find him to be really cute for being both anxious and excited for the upcoming confession. It seems that his infatuation is running pretty deep.

"I'm pretty sure she will like that," I say comfortingly, with Sulli's high interest for romance movie comes to my mind. The edges of Luhan’s lips immediately break into wistful upward curves. His eyes gently meet mine and crinkle into the shape of crescents as his smile widens.

"I hope she does."

"Anyway," he suddenly says while straightening up his posture and rubs his palms together, "What song do you think is matched with this place?"

Our orders come when we are discussing whether Michael Bubble's "Everything" or Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" is better to be played when Luhan confesses. We end up picking EXO K's "Angel", though, because the song is slower paced and sung in Korean.

Luhan jots down every single result of our discussion into a small notepad, giving me a glimpse of how perfectionist and meticulous he is. When I tell him about my observation he laughs it off, saying that he simply wants the confession to be perfect. I doubt it, though, as I’ve seen him doing the same thing during our math club sessions.

After a while our conversation diverts into the topic that we have often talk together before, Sulli. My moods escalates quickly as I let him knows about the terrific new record that Sulli made in the track team practice earlier today. I excitedly gush about how cool Sulli looked and how everyone celebrated her new record with her. The conversation about her goes on and before I realize it, we have been talking for almost an hour.

“It seems that your world only revolves around Sulli, Junghye-ssi. You always immediately lit up when you talk about her,” Luhan comments amusedly after finishing the last sip of his hot chocolate.

“Maybe. We have been together for too long, I guess,” I shrug indifferently, not giving much thought to his remark and gives more attention to my cup of chocolate.

“What about Kim Junghye?”

I blink confusedly when I hear his question. “Pardon me?” I ask him back, not really sure if I’ve heard him right in the first time. Why would he ask about me, anyway?

Luhan puts down his mug and looks straight into my eyes, making me cower in my seat with the intense stare he is giving. “What about the girl named Kim Junghye?  I wonder, who is she? What does she likes? What is her favorite color? Does she like vanilla ice cream too? After I hear all that come out from you is only Sulli ‘this’ and Sulli ‘that’, I become curious about you too. It is as if you were only her shadow, Junghye-ssi,” he says matter-of-factly, as if he were simply broadcasting the rainy weather.

His honest remark leaves me frozen on my seat. I have always been okay with thinking of myself being a companion, a sidekick to Sulli, but hearing someone actually pointing it out to me definitely feels different. It is almost like the world is finally agreeing with me on the fact that all I can ever be is a backdrop, and never the main star. I look at Luhan and I can see concern graces his eyes, with hints of pity. I bit my lower lip anxiously and tear my gaze from his burdening eyes, focusing to look down at my fidgeting fingers on my lap instead.

"Junghye-ssi, are you okay?"

I am not sure if he really doesn't realize that his words punch me right in the gut because he is way too smart to be that oblivious. However, I only nod weakly as a reply and Luhan, seemingly satisfied with my response, continues his blabblering as if nothing was wrong. That day, I don't really remember much details happening afterwards, beside a faint, persisting twinge in my heart.

Am I really okay with only being her shadow?

TBC

an: Okay. Here comes the 6th chapter ^^ Thank you for all the comments, subbs, and votes. Here is my reply: