Uncertain – for four grueling days, Hye Jin ignored everybody. She woke up, ate, went to school, and then quickly raced off campus. She prayed every second of the day and hoped that she would not run into anybody. Director Kim, Professor Nam, Luhan, Kris – she ignored all of them. If they approached her, she turned away and ran in the opposite direction. She made it her mission to avoid everyone at all costs, like her life depended on it. On the weekend, she locked herself in her apartment, burrowing into her safe haven of blankets with Marty on guard at the foot of her bed. She didn’t pick up any calls and ignored all text messages. She just stayed in her room all day, only leaving her room to go to the bathroom or watch TV. She even called in for delivery so she wouldn’t risk running into anyone at the market.

            And by anyone, she meant them. Why her emotions were so easily swayed by those two, she had no clue. Sadly, they just were. She was infected, bitten by a love and hate bug, its toxins spreading through her body like wildfire. She couldn’t ignore them even though she fought so hard to do so. They were lethal and highly addictive.

            As much as she loathed those emotions, she yearned for them. Adoration, admiration, detestation – she craved them all. Her feelings were so much stronger now because she had locked them away for so long. She, regretfully, realized that ignoring them wasn’t the best choice after all. If she had to suffer an emotional overload like she was now, she definitely made the wrong decision.

            “Well, here goes nothing.” Hye Jin stepped out of her car, parked in her ‘usual’ stall. She glanced over to the empty spots around her, frowning at the absence of his familiar black sedan. I shouldn’t be surprised, should I? Grabbing her things from the back seat, she locked her car and began her trek towards campus. She walked slowly, slouching under hidden burdens and brewing emotions. She definitely wasn’t feeling well, and the cold, winter breeze wasn’t help either. Something was about to happen, she just knew it.

--

            “She got into an accident?! When?!” Hye Jin jumped at the Director’s voice, hissing quietly as the door closed on her arm. Rubbing the sore spot, she shrunk into the shadows as heads turned to her clamoring. Director Kim glared in her direction, but didn’t stare long for there were more important matters to tend to. She whipped her head back to the cowering boy in front of her and cleared , waiting for his answer.

            He visibly trembled, looking at her long enough to squeak out a reply before scampering away. “It was last night. Her car got t-boned while she was on the way home from some business gala with her parents. From what I heard, they’re all in ICU.” The cast and crew all flinched at the news, bowing their heads in condolences.

            Hye Jin froze, letting the new information sink in, sending her into a sea of guilt. Here she was, stressing over her own, insignificant problems while an entire family was on the brink of death. She felt disgusted by her own selfishness and scolded herself for losing her self control and indulging in her own self pitying.

            Quietly, she tiptoed down the aisles, joining everyone else at the stage. She sat down in one of the seats and pushed away that nagging feeling she had earlier. It was coming back to her and she didn’t have the time for it now, especially when the production had been hit by a big crisis.

            I wonder who it is, she thought, straining her ears to catch a name in whispered conversation, but nothing came up.

            “This can’t be happening, not now. We only have only have one week until opening night. One week, people. How are we supposed to find a replacement now? Planning an audition doesn’t just happen overnight. And even if we have an audition, she won’t be able to learn the songs in time.” Director Kim paced across the stage, huffing and sighing at the unfortunate news. She wouldn’t have minded if she lost a crew member because they were easier to replace. A cast member though, that was a bit more difficult. There was no way for someone, even if they’re naturally talented with singing and acting, to learn the part in a week. Everyone else took months to hone their skills, learning it in a fraction of that time was not humanly possible.

            “I know someone who can replace her.”

            Hye Jin’s ears perked up at the voice and she scanned the theater for him. She spotted him on the stage, emerging from behind the black curtains with a blank expression. So he\s actually here. I wonder where he parked this morning…Wait, why am I even worrying. His eyes locked onto hers right away, spotting her from within the seats below, but he looked away quickly.

            “What’s that, Luhan? You know someone who is capable of learning the song and script in less than a week? Really?” Director Kim questioned, disbelief written all over her face.

            “Yes, ma’am. She already knows the lines and stage cues. She also knows the song. In fact,” he paused, looking at Hye Jin right at that moment, “she even helped me with the piece.”

            Hye Jin shot up from her seat in realization. She finally knew who was got into the accident. She also knew that Luhan was crazy. He was talking about her. He was suggesting they use her. He wanted the Director to put her in as the replacement saloon singer.

            “Is that so? Does anybody know where Hye Jin is?” Director Kim looked around and spotted Hye Jin in the audience. “Ah, there you are, come on up. We need to talk.”

            “Neh, Director Kim…” Hye Jin clambered onto the stage, tripping on the steps and earning a few sniggers from her peers. Pushing herself up, she got back onto her feet and looked up to see a hand in front of her.

            “Need help?” Luhan asked, smiling down at her. She hesitantly took his hand. He helped her up and led her over to Director Kim. Hye Jin stared at Luhan, confused about the whole situation. Hadn’t it bothered him that she cut off all contact for four days? Wasn’t he just giving her the cold shoulder before? Why was he suddenly being nice to her? Everything was just too confusing, and she was too tired to overanalyze it.

            Luhan pushed her towards center stage and left her in the scrutiny of Director Kim and the entire cast and crew. Hye Jin trembled slightly as Director Kim circled around her. She feared what the Director would say or whether or not she would be rejected. She knew there was a slim chance that she would be asked to fill in the part. With no experience in the theater or on stage, she was the last person they would ask to take the role.

            But, she couldn’t help feeling a little hopeful. A part of her really wanted to act and be on stage. She wanted to be someone else, to be a bold character unlike her usual, reserved personality. Dancing and singing, seducing, all of these things that her normal self would never even think about doing, she wanted to do on stage. It was a chance for her to break free from her regular routine.

            It was a chance for her to be different for once.

--

            “Okay, that’s a wrap. Great rehearsal tonight, really. Remember, we’ll be running through the entire play at least three times in full costume and no makeup tomorrow, so get lots of rest.” Director Kim dismissed everybody with a grin and exited the theater. She passed by Hye Jin and gave her a pat on the shoulder.       

            “Hi, Director,” Hye Jin stuttered, still shaking with nerves. Even though her scenes were short, the thought of performing on such a grand stage made her tremble like a leaf. But she wanted this. She knew she wanted this. For once in her life, she was making a decision to better herself and cater to her needs, not somebody else’s. No second thoughts, no little voices screaming in her head. It was a decision that she made on her own. Finally.

            “Good job tonight, Hye Jin. I didn’t know you could sing so well.”

            Hye Jin chortled and shook her head. “Neither did I.”

            “Aw, don’t be like that. You did really well for a first timer. By the end of this week, you’ll have the hang of it.” Hye Jin sighed with a weak shrug. She wanted to believe her, but was it possible? Four days, she only had four days to practice her scene before opening night. From the buzz around campus, tickets sales have been doing really well, only two out of the ten nights weren’t sold out.

            That’s eight full houses. How am I going to survive? She sighed once more, rubbing her arms nervously.

            Director Kim wrapped an arm around her, giving her a reassuring hug. “Hey, don’t worry too much about it. You’ll be fine.”

            “No I won’t. What if I screw up? What do the others think of me now? I’m just the speech coach, a part of the crew. I have zero experience in theater, yet here I am, intruding on the production. Do you know how many other girls would kill for this part? A lot. I feel like I’m taking away someone else’s chance to make it big. Maybe we should just hold an audition, Director.” Hye Jin stumbled as Director Kim pulled away, holding her at arm’s length.

            “We will do no such thing. Believe in yourself, Hye Jin. You can do this. You’re not taking anything from anybody. As a matter of fact, you’re giving yourself an opportunity to explore and do something you probably never would’ve imagined doing, right? Stop worrying and just try. Who knows, you might actually enjoy the stage.” With one last squeeze on the shoulder, Director Kim left. Just as she reached the end of the row, she turned back around. “A word of advice, project your voice more. You sound beautiful, so let the audience know, okay? See you tomorrow.”

            Hye Jin swallowed the lump in , biting back her happy tears. Other than Luhan, Director Kim was the only person to compliment her singing. She couldn’t have been happier. Maybe I’m not just words and accents. Maybe I can be more than that. I guess there’s more to myself that I haven’t yet discovered. Wiping her eyes with a cough, Hye Jin shuffled around and gathered her belongings. Heading out of the theater, she slowly strolled through the halls, admiring the silence and letting all the new experiences settle in.

            I’m going to be on stage for the first time ever. Am I going to get stage fright? Am I going to mess up and be a laughing stock? Or, am I going to be all right? Will I be able to sing without cracking? Ah, who knows…maybe I should just listen to the Director and stop worrying about it all. Like she said, I just have to try…

            “The parking lot’s this way.” Hye Jin jumped with a start, clutching her chest in shock. She turned her head and glared down whoever decided to scare her senseless.

            “What the hell, Luhan. You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that. Holy fruits,” she snapped, slapping him on the arm. He only laughed in reply and grabbed her hand when she tried to hit him again. Tugging her along, he led her to the front of the school and out to the parking lot. Hye Jin quietly followed him, gazing at him quizzically. Why was he even there in the first place? Had he been following her from the theater? She wasn’t dying to know or anything, but she was extremely curious. “Uh, I can walk on my own now. Thanks.” She pulled her hand away and stuffed it into her pocket.

            “Right, sorry,” he mumbled, quickly glancing at her, a flash of hurt in his eyes. They slowed down as they neared their cars, both stalling for time to find the right words. Hye Jin noticed his sedan was parked next to hers. Before she could think of what she was saying, her words slipped out.

            “Your car wasn’t here this morning…” she stated, slapping a hand over when she realized what she had said. Scratching the back of her head, she turned away in embarrassment, avoiding Luhan’s teasing gaze.

            “Yeah, I was running a little late since I couldn’t sleep well over the weekend.” His tone was playful, but Hye Jin heard his message loud and clear. Guilt washed over her and she stared down at her feet. Again, her words spilled before she could think carefully.

            “I’m sorry. I just needed some time alone to think things through. I didn’t mean to ignore you. If it makes you feel any better, I ignored just about everybody. Except for Marty. I couldn’t ignore him. If I did, he would’ve gone crying to grandma and that wouldn’t have ended well. Anyway, I’m rambling. I’m sorry.” Her eyes darted around, looking at everything but the boy in front of her. She couldn’t look him in the eyes. She was too afraid to face the judging stare he was probably giving her. A light tug on her chin brought her to him and his soft eyes.

            “You have nothing to be sorry about. What you choose to do is your own business.” He placed his hand on top of her head with a smile. “I have to admit, it’s good to hear your voice again.” Hye Jin blushed profusely, covering and cheeks with her sleeve bashfully. She shook his hand of her head and fixed her hair, bowing her head to hide her growing smile. She shifted slightly and clasped her hands behind her back. It took all her will to keep from jumping at him with a hug.

            “Anyway, I’m glad you’re not angry or anything.” She grinned and shuffled over to her driver side to avoid future embarrassment. Throwing her things into the back, she waved at him. “Bye Luhan. See you tomorrow?”

            “Yeah, see you tomorrow.” He watched her pull out of the parking lot and turn off campus, his heart clenching slightly. “It’s your business, but why do I want to make it mine as well?”

--

            “Wait, cut. Hye Jin, you have to make it more convincing. You’re being molested then killed, staying quiet isn’t really the reaction most women would have in that situation. Put up a struggle, fight back. Do something to show your fear and panic, okay?” She waited for a nod from the younger girl before turning to Kris. “And you. I know you’re tired of running the same thing over and over again, but this is the home stretch. We need you to actually try, all right?”

            “Yes ma’am,” Kris grumbled in reply.

            “Okay, from the top of the scene.”

            Hye Jin shuffled back to stage left, stumbling on her petticoats and linings under her dress the entire way. Her skirts trailed behind her, dragging along the floor and snagging on everything it came in contact with. She tripped over her feet just as she reached the curtains, but was caught just in time.

            “Whoa, saved your life,” Luhan laughed, steadying her on her feet. Hye Jin scowled back at him and pulled the bundles of fabric towards her. It was hard enough walking in heeled boots, but the six inch height difference between herself and the previous actress really killed her. The bodice fit nicely, but her skirts were way too long. Six inches too long. Luhan frowned at the mass of cloth. “Aren’t they going to hem that for you?”

            Hye Jin shook her head bitterly. “Sadly, no, they aren’t. The tailor said he could hem the outer skirts easily, but the petticoats would be too hard. He would have to make another one from scratch and that would take two to three weeks.” Shaking out the material, Hye Jin fixed the layers around herself before waiting for her cue. Although she was trying so hard not to be nervous, she still shook slightly, something Luhan noticed right away.

            “Hey, don’t be nervous, all right? Remember, the audience can’t actually see your face in this scene, just your arms and legs. All you have to do is exaggerate your struggles and motions.”

            “Thanks, but that doesn’t help with the singing now, does it?” she whispered back, glancing at him quickly with a nervous glare.

            “I guess it doesn’t, huh?” He paused, thinking about what he should say. What would make her calm down? “Oh, I know! If you ever feel your nerves acting up, look for me. I’ll be on stage with you, so just look for me, all right?” Hye Jin relaxed at the thought and nodded her head.

            “All right, deal. Fair warning, I might be nervous the entire time.”

            “Not a problem. As long as you feel comfortable on stage, then do what you have to do.”

            “Thanks, Luhan. Ah, that’s my cue.”

            Hye Jin grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze before sauntering onto the stage. Luhan watched as she got into character and walked out from behind the false front of the saloon. His eyes followed her as she strutted pass the alleyway and was pulled in by Kris. He watched in vain as Kris muffled her screams as he ‘molested’ her character and murdered her, his chest constricting with discomfort. His heart clenched when she collapsed on the floor, dead.

            Even though it was all just acting, the scene still affected him. He couldn’t help but feel angry and uncomfortable, like he was losing something. His heart always ached when she died, reacting as if she had truly been taken away from him.

            Snap out of it, Luhan. She’s not yours. He scolded inwardly, tearing his eyes away from the stage, his chest still panging.

--

            “This is it, everyone. Tonight was your last rehearsal. Starting Monday, we’ll be performing to full houses for two weeks. You’ve been preparing for what’s about to come, so let’s give it everything we’ve got, okay? Rest up this weekend, you’ll need a lot of energy for your shows.”

            Luhan helped Hye Jin backstage and to the dressing rooms, holding up the tail of her skirts so they wouldn’t drag on the floor. She leaned on him tiredly, letting him lead her wherever they were supposed to go. All she wanted to do was to lie down in her bed and sleep for all eternity, but someone shook her awake.

            “Hey, sleepy head, we’re almost there. You have to stay awake to change or else we won’t be able to go home,” Luhan chuckled, tapping her cheek lightly. She whined in reply, scrunching her nose in annoyance while swatting his hand away.

            “I am awake. Just let me rest my eyes until we get there.” She rested her head on his shoulder as he steered her into the dressing room. “Thanks for your help, Luhan,” she yawned, waving to him before closing the door.

            “I’ll wait for you out here,” he blurted just as she closed the door. He didn’t know if she heard him or not, but he planned on waiting for her anyway.

--

            “What’s taking her so long?” Luhan mumbled, wringing his hands impatiently. He paced back and forth, once in a while stopping in front of the door with his hand held ready to knock, but then dropping it only to resume his pacing.

            Twenty minutes had passed by already and Hye Jin was still not out. He couldn’t hear anything moving inside and was worried something might have happened to her. What if she tripped on the fabric and fell? What if she’s unconscious? Should I knock? But if I do, would it seem weird? She’ll think that I’m impatient or something. Besides, what if she doesn’t know that I’m waiting? She probably heard me, right? But, she didn’t reply…

            Frustrated, Luhan ruffled his hair and stood confidently at the door and gave it a couple of light raps. He heard some shuffling and a few curses before the door flew open. Hye Jin stood flustered, blowing her bangs out of her eyes.

            “Hi, hey, what’s up?” she stammered, awkwardly resting her arm on the door. She brushed away the strands of hair that escaped from her bun and smiled innocently at him. “So, can I help you?” she asked. He eyed her attired and noticed she was still in her costume. The laces of her bodice were still tightly bound and her petticoats were wrapped securely under her overskirt.

            Luhan snickered internally and bit back a smile. From the looks of it, he wasn’t the one who needed the help. “Uh, you were taking a long time, so I was worried you might’ve tripped and fell over your parachute of a dress.” He tugged at her sleeve and smiled at her knowingly. “Looks like I’m not the one who needs help though, huh?”

            “Ha ha, what, no, I don’t need help. What makes you think that I need help? I’m doing perfectly fine here, no problems, none at all. Just fine and dandy back here.” She laughed awkwardly and smoothed out her sleeves and skirt. Luhan gave her a skeptical look and eyed her from head to toe. She sighed, and threw her arms up in defeat. “Fine, all right. I need help.”

            “I thought so.”

            “The fine and dandy part gave it away, didn’t it?”

            “Yup.”

            “Damn…” she sighed. Letting him into the dressing room, she closed the door and stumbled to the middle of the room while ranting. “Why is this dress so freaking annoying? The laces are so confusing and tight. Also, how are my t-rex arms supposed to reach the back?” she whined, letting out an annoyed sigh. “Seriously, can this neck line go any lower? It’s so uncomfortably low,” she growled at her reflection in the mirror, adjusting the front of her bodice with a disgruntled expression.

            “There’s no point in complaining now. You said so yourself, it can’t be altered in time.” He nudged her on the side of her head and she pouted in return.

            “So much for comforting me. Whatever. Just untie it, would you?” Hye Jin shuffled towards the change rooms and turned her back towards him, revealing the web of strings weaved through the back of her dress. Luhan stared incredulously at the interweaving laces and shook his head. Why there were so many, he didn’t know. And it wasn’t like they needed all of it anyway. The dress was fitted, so it was basically used as decoration.

            It’s just a pain in the , that’s what it is…Stepping forward with a sigh, Luhan unknotted the ties and pulled the first few strings loose until the sleeves shifted down to her fingertips. He back a breath, turning around abruptly and stumbling over his own feet.

            “You okay?” Hye Jin asked, turning around to check up on him.

            “Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, his gaze flickering around the room. He made a show of checking his watch at tapping it to which Hye Jin rolled her eyes in response before slipping behind the changing room curtains.

            “Give me a minute while I try to get out of this overskirt. Oh, and I may need your help with the petticoats after. They’re another puzzle of their own.” Luhan hummed in reply and sat on the couches. He heard cloth shuffling behind the curtain and couldn’t help the blush that crept onto his face. The image of her bare shoulders flashed through his mind and he shook his head to clear it out.

            Calm down, Luhan, he silently scolded himself, but his eyes unconsciously wandered to the curtain obscuring Hye Jin. He could see her shadows casted under the fabric as she moved around. He saw the hem of her dress disappear as she lifted the cloth over her head, leaving her petticoats under. He felt his face heat up again and he looked away, pulling out his phone in hopes to distract his thoughts. He knew he shouldn’t let them wander, but he couldn’t help himself.

            Her clear skin, lean arms, thin waist. He could only imagine what her legs—No, stop it. Stop thinking about that. Get your head out of the clouds.

            “Luhan, could you help me?” He snapped out of his daze and walked over with a ‘sure’. She pulled back the curtain and pointed to the back of the petticoat. “I don’t see why the designer chose to lace this up. A simple button would’ve been fine.” She in her stomach and turned around so that Luhan could see the knot.

            “Why didn’t you turn it to the front?” he asked, pulling on the string ends to unknot the laces. He undid them like he had for her overskirt and stepped back. Hye Jin let out her breath and turned towards him with a frown. “I tried, but it’s too fitted. Plus, it’s too heavy; I can’t actually turn it without someone else’s help since it’s two petticoats combined.” She tugged the curtain close and shimmied out of the layered cloth. Slipping on her jeans, Hye Jin gathered the bundles of material off the floor and grabbed the hook with her dress before pushing the curtain away. She dragged the costume over to the rack and hung her dress, throwing her petticoat into a bin after. “All right, Luhan, let’s go.”

--

            The duo approached their cars, shivering from the winter breeze caressing their cheeks. Though they were under their heavy coats, the chilly air nipped at their skin, reminding them that winter was just around the corner.

            Hye Jin sighed into the sky, gazing at the stars peppering the dark canvas above. “Luhan, do you think it’ll be okay?”

            Luhan slowed down, glancing at her quizzically. “Will what be okay?”

            “The play. Do you think I’ll screw up?” Hye Jin mumbled, sitting on the hood of her car. She shifted over as Luhan joined her, wrapping an arm over her shoulder in comfort.

            “Will you stop worrying? You’ll be fine.”

            “Will I really be fine, though?” she whispered.

            He squeezed her shoulder and wrapped his other arm around her in an embrace. “Yes, you will be, as long as you look for me. Like I told you earlier, if you ever feel nervous, tense, happy – whatever emotion – then look for me on stage. I’ll be right there every step of the way.” He felt her relax and pulled back his arms. Lifting her chin up, he flashed a warm smile. “Anyway, it’s late. Get a lot of rest this weekend and stop worrying, okay?”

            “But—”

            He placed a finger on her lips with a glare. “Stop it. You’re going to promise me you won’t think about the play this weekend.” He held up his pinkie and nodded towards it. When she didn’t move, he nodded at it again. “Promise?”

            Hye Jin sighed and rolled her eyes, reluctantly nodding her head. She brought up her pinkie and laced it with his, tapping his thumb to seal the deal. She pushed his finger off with a pout. “I promise.”

            “Good. Now go home. Drive safe. Text me when you get there.” He pushed her off her car and went to his own.

            “I will, Mother. You drive safe too, and see you on Monday.”