He pressed the button, it rang but nothing happened. He was excited—no, nervous. He doesn’t even know what he feels. He pressed the button again, and he swore if he pressed it again and nothing happened he’s leaving and tells Eunmi to forget about meeting her.

It rang again, and again nothing. He thought she moved from the house, he never thought she’d stay there. But as he asked the neighborhood and others would still be shock by seeing him, the neighborhood didn’t change after four years; ahjumma’s could still remember him—everyone saying Emi’s still living in the house and almost everyone too had that hope in their eyes, asking him; “Are you going back to her for good?”

For the third time, he rang the doorbell, and he flinched when he heard the door knob clicked.

“Tao I thought-“ she paused seeing it wasn’t who she was expecting. “Oh, sorry.”

Again, he couldn’t speak. His eyes ran down to her figure, and ran back up to look her in the eyes and a blink didn’t even break the contact their eyes are making. His eyes immediately went to her ring finger, checking if the ring was still there, but none. But she’s going out for sure, she was dressed.

“Joonmyun-ssi.” She said, enough to break his thoughts. It was so unusual for him to hear her calling him that, and for the second time he heard her calling him that, it gets more annoying. He saw her glanced on his side, looking if he’s with someone. “What are you doing here?” she was frowning, as if his presence isn’t supposed to be there.

“I’m. . . “ he exhaled, “I’m with Eunmi.” he wanted to talk more, to tell why he is there in front of her but his tongue couldn’t make it. Her presence is bothering him; all he wanted to do is look at her.

“Emi!” He could hear his fiancé walking fast on her heels behind his back. He looked back, she was excited. It was her idea, she bugged him all day to meet her again. He knows why, definitely knows why.

His fiancé wanted to know more about him, she couldn’t get it from his friends, they were all men who would keep what men secrets are, and there she is, the only woman who knows him well. Very well to be exact.  Eunmi will never let this slip.

His fiancé was smiling, all bright as she look at Emi. And as he looked back at Emi, she too was smiling. Enough to tell her face she’s happy, but not her eyes.

“Hello.” His fiancé said, she was shy the last time they met, since he couldn’t talk he’ll make his fiancé take him in to this. His fiancé glance at the image of Emi, “Are you somewhat. . .going out?” she made a gesture with her hands pointing on the back of her side. Seeing her all dressed up, “Are we. . .”

“Oh! No, no. . .not at all.” There she goes again, being kind. He couldn’t help the frown forming on his forehead. Smiling, and he’s taking it all in again. “Would you like to get in?” she opened the door wider to welcome them in.

“You wouldn’t mind?” his fiancé is getting more excited, he could feel it. She’s being friends with Emi when she shouldn’t. She must not.

“No, of course. Come in.” she was smiling, but not when she looked at him.

He let his fiancé drag him in, holding his hand tight, the feeling of Emi seeing it made his hand lose its hold, he sighed when his fiancé didn’t notice it.

“Wow,” he heard his fiancé wowed in amazement, she was craning her neck around the house, looking everywhere. “You’ve got a beautiful house. But it’s. . .” Eunmi toned her tone down, “Empty?” the word has its literal meaning, but as he looked around, he took it more than its literal meaning.

He had her hands on his pockets, them in. He looked around, and if the café last time suffocated him for its smell. Everything that he’s seeing, every corner of the house, every. . .everything is blinding him from the past.

Nothing has changed; everything was still on its place. The kitchen, where the dining table is, the gas range, the refrigerator; the living room, the couch, the television, everything is sending him back from the past, he couldn’t even stand to look longer. . .until his eyes reached her, she was looking at him, not bothering about anything, but just him. He was sure she was waiting how’d he will react in to everything, and it annoyed him thinking she meant to do this.

“You live here alone? This is a huge house for you alone.” His fiancé still had her eyes roaming around the house, there is suppose an answer to her question, but they didn’t get any.

“Thank you, but. . .” she was now looking on both of them with curiosity, “If you don’t mind me asking, what brought you here?” she didn’t mean to be rude, he knows, but sure it bothered her, for four years, he never imagined himself standing in front of that door, that door of their house.

He let Eunmi do the talking, albeit it was obvious, she was anticipating for his answer instead, she’d look at him whenever her questions ends.

“Uhhhm, I was just hoping if we could talk.” His fiancé smiled gleefully, she does that to anyone, and it never rejected her.

“Talk about what?” she frowned; now it was just the two of them. He could watch the entire day not bothering them, he could.

“About him!”

He didn’t know, he wasn’t aware, but she looked at him, and he didn’t notice at all that he’s been watching her. She laughed, not because she caught him staring at her, but with what Eunmi wanted to know.

“About Joonmyun-ssi? What about him?” she was laughing, covering , and he was taking it all again.

Every gesture she’s making, he wanted to be greedy and take them all in.

“But before that, have a seat,” she looked at the dining table, then to the living room, “Where would you like to be?”

“Dinning!” his fiancé was walking already to the dining table, he walked behind her, pulled a chair to make her seat. He pulled another for himself. He just wanted to finish everything and leave.

“I’ll prepare you something to drink. Juice?” he’s been looking at her, and the entire time, she would only now look at his fiancé and would refuse having to even glance at his; and at the mention of Juice, he frowned again.

Making them was her expertise; he couldn’t take all the memories that are crashing on to him.

“Sure!” his fiancé was busy checking out everything in the house, while he would follow Emi with his eyes. Chewing his inner cheeks, he felt guilty and he’s being careful his fiancé won’t catch him.

It was after a few minutes when she came back having a glass of apple juice on her tray and a coffee. Placing it on the table, the juice in front of his fiancé and the coffee in front of him, he smiled bitterly.

No one asked for coffee, but she knew it.

He always drinks coffee, her coffee. And until now he refuse to drink any coffee aside from what she made, and that would solve his fiancés trouble about him and coffee—but he couldn’t explain that to her.

His too much amusement about the coffee, he didn’t notice his fiancé has that stuporous look on her eyes, seeing the coffee, she just thought of not interrupting as it would be rude to reject the coffee, but no one asked for coffee.

“So, how will we start this?” again, she was smiling, amused of the talk that would happen.

Eunmi sipped from the juice first, “Oh! I didn’t know it would be fresh, you made this?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

And out of a sudden, he spoke, “It was her expertise.”

Both women looked at her, his fiancé with amusement, and his ex-wife with. . .eyes he couldn’t describe.

“You must know her too well then too!” his fiancé giggled, she looked back at Emi, “Ahhh! I should know how to make this too! You could teach me.”

“I’d be very glad to teach you.” She giggled, he hated it. How could she act like this to the woman he’s marrying, she’s supposed to be mad Eunmi now.

“Well I’d like to know anything about this guy beside me.” His fiancé looked at him teasingly, “I don’t know much for sure than what you know.”

He watch her giggle, giggling to what he doesn’t know.

“What is there to know about him. . .hmmm,” she hummed, and for the first time, she looked at him with teasing on her eyes, like how his fiancé just looked at her, he couldn’t miss that, but before he could take it, she looked back to Eunmi.

“How is he when he’s. . .being drunk? Being annoyed? Being mad? Being persistent?” she wanted to giggle, but both women were laughing already. “How about being pabo?” the laugher went louder.

He couldn’t ignore what’s happening, finally hearing her laugh after four years, again he miss it. He doesn’t even care if she spill all his stupid plethora’s, as long he’d watch her like this being happy.

“Silly!” his fiancé was laughing, “You really know all that? I’ve never seen him drunk actually.” And suddenly, her tone became low.

Emi glanced on him first, exhaling, “You really haven’t seen him drunk?” it was a serious question for his fiancé, “It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t really drink much.” she just laughed, she didn’t want it to be a serious talk.

He hasn’t been drunk with Eunmi, whenever he’s drunk he’d go to his friend, he won’t show up to Eunmi drunk, he’s afraid. He’s loose when he’s drunk, he’s not sure he could deal his fiancé when he’s drunk, only two people on this world could handle him drunk.

But his fiancé shook his head, “No, and I thought I will only be envious of his ex-wife for knowing much about him, but now, I think I’m envious of you too.” His fiancé suddenly went wistful.

But the sudden mention of his ex-wife, he flinched, and the next thing happened he wanted the talk to stop.

“Ex-wife?” he heard Emi asked, and at that moment he wanted to interrupt.

His fiancé nodded, “Um, his ex-wife. She died, unfortunately, from giving birth to their first child.”

It was too late, Emi was looking at him already, pain shot through her eyes, and he swore he could see tears forming already.

She blinked, blinked many times, she gulped, “I’m so. . .sorry,” she choked, “I didn’t know. Sorry.”

It was silence after, like some silence was offered to the supposed wife, who died from giving birth, but he was watching her, and it was too much.

He stared at the coffee on his hand, he wanted to calm, and he’s been drinking the coffee since it’s been laid in front of him.

He might not notice, but his fiancé been frowning about it.

“It was okay for you to marry him?” she meant the question, but not offending. “I mean-“

“No, it’s nothing really. It was his past, and I know I could love him how she loved him.”

No, she wanted to scream. No, no one could love him like I did, like I’m doing, and I will do.

“And he’s marrying me among all those girls he’s dated, that’s enough right?” she assured herself proudly and smiling by looking at him, but he was looking at her.

“How are you?” he suddenly spoke, ignoring his fiancé’s question. He’s been dying to talk to her, but he doesn’t even know how to start, he would just keep staring at her. . .

She smiles bitterly on him, “I guess I’m doing fine.”

“Suddenly I thought if you were older than me, I’m twenty six, are you my unnie?” it was his fiancé again who broke them.

She smiled, “Yeah, an unnie.”

“What do you for your living unnie?” he wanted to thank his fiancé for asking such questions, helping him to pull out the questions he’s been dying to ask.

“I thought this is going to be about him?” she sounded childish, and again, he smiled as he took that in.

“No unnie, we could talk them when he’s not around to interrupt us.” Eunmi giggled, “Ahhh! I have to have your number, will that be okay?” his fiancé was handing her phone already for Emi to save her number, it was no way his fiancé would take no for an answer.

He wanted to stop her, to never meet his fiancé, but she even looked too excited giving her number to his fiancé. Why?

“We’d have so much to talk about.” And as both women giggled again with their secrets, he can’t stop thinking why is Emi being like this.

“So unnie, what do you for living?”

“I’m a teacher, in a kindergarten around.” She smiled, proudly.

“Wow! That preschool near the café we first met you? Wow!” his fiancé was too amazed to know, “How could you handle those kids at that age?” he knew it was that.

For his fiancé kids were annoying, especially those ages on kindergarten.

And Emi just giggled, “They’re not really what you think, they are all adorable.” She was smiling, too obvious she loved what she’s doing, “They’re all cute too!” she added.

“You must love kids so much, even they are annoying.”

And before she answered him, she looked at him in the eyes, “I do. I love kids,” and she broke the eye contact too much for him to bear by looking back at his fiancé, “the reason I worked as a teacher, even if they’re noisy, annoying, I love them.”

It was the sudden click of the door that had their heads snap at the direction, and he watched her stood up to check who it was.

“Ommaaaa!!!” he saw a kid running towards her, and she leaned down to catch him hugging her knees.

Omma? He frowned.

“Why are you so early?” It was the question he heard first, not anything else about her opposing being called omma.

He watched closely, the kid is too old for her to bear the last four years they divorced. She couldn’t. . .she can’t be. . .the scene was too much.

“Ah! I know you were married, but I didn’t know your son has grown so much!” he snapped his head at his fiancé for saying such.

The kid was just staring at them both; but he couldn’t even make himself look at the boy, until the little boy finally introduced himself.

“Hello, my name is Ace.” The little boy bowed in courtesy.

“Aigoo! How cute,” his fiancé crouched down to pat the little boys head. “You must have learned that from you omma huh?”

The little boy just looked at Emi, confused but Emi just nodded.

He couldn’t move, she has a child? Impossible.

“How old are you?” he badly needed to know, he asked the little boy too harsh, and the boy hid behind his omma’s legs.

“Honey! Don’t scare the kid!” Eunmi warned him, but he couldn’t make himself care. He wanted to know the little boy’s age.

“He’s four.” Someone answered, “My son is four.”

He looked where the voice came from; it came from a guy who stood tall closing the door.

“You must be her husband,” Eunmi said, “We’re old friends with her. It’s nice meeting you.”

He was so confused, she’s married, has a son who is four.

He doesn’t know but he’s mad. He’s mad about he doesn’t know.

He couldn’t take it anymore until he grabbed Emi’s shoulder tight, “You have a child?”

“Honey!” his fiancé held his arm to stop him, but his arm was too stiff, she too got scared.

“Don’t touch her!” the man who went immediately on her side grabbing his arm, was holding his arm so tight too.

But he didn’t care, he wanted answers.

“Joonmyun-ssi.” Again he flinched as she called him, they were both staring at each other as he held her arm up, he knows she’s calling him not because of him grabbing her arm but, “It hurts.”

And it was enough for him to let go her arm, those two words. . .

It was too much for him, and it hurts.