*L.Joe's POV* Its been a week since Chunji hyung start dating C.A.P hyung. We've began to drift apart. I don't know am i being too sensitive or what, he Chunji hyung seems to be avoiding me. Its not like he totally ignores me. We still talk but our conversations and interactions just decrease day by day. Could it be that he didn't want C.A.P hyung to be jealous? Or is it that he had discovered my feelings? Not possible, i have been quite cautious to make sure he doesn't notice. The worse part is even ChunJoe fan service decrease and its now Chunji & C.A.P and NielJoe. Isn't that exactly like what is happening in the dorm? But hell i don't want that to happen! Even if its just fan service, i want to be close with Chunji hyung. It just gets awkward in the dorm with him when he seemingly starts to find excuse to sneak away halfway through our talk. He seems to be getting along quite well with C.A.P hyung which i should be happy but no i wasn't the least glad. I admit I'm evil but i just can't seem to give them my blessing from the bottom of my heart. Well things are progressing fine between Niel and me. I haven't been rejecting his 'affection' but i haven't been returning much either. Ok i do return it once in a while at the start just to see if Chunji hyung might get jealous but he seems to not get affected at all so i gave up. Another reason that i didn't reject Niel was because... "Hyung what are you doing?" Niel came in and broke my thoughts. "Nothing. Just thinking of some matters." I answered. "Awww thinking of me aren't you? You're missing me already huh?" Niel playfully asked. "Yeah i miss you already. I miss that voice of yours. Would you mind singing for me while i play the piano again?" I asked him. "Again?" Niel half-whined. "Please? You know how i like it when you sing for me." I sort of pleaded. "Alright then just for you." and Niel agreed. Yes i didn't reject him because i took him as an replacement of Chunji hyung. I know its unfair to him but that's the only way i can distract myself now and also entertain Niel. Ok i know its just an excuse but i can't help it. I didn't want to continue but there's just no way that i can stop it. Niel I'm really sorry for being a jerk. At this point of time, i find that one of our new song fits me perfectly. We just gotten the song recently and i already blend in with the song because it matches me. I guess this is the first time i sang(or should i say rap) with so much feelings. Especially that line 'I know I'm selfish, but what can i do?' That is exactly how i am now. I sang it with more feelings because it was after Chunji hyung sang. I have no idea how things end up this way but i just became a total bastard. I feel like punching myself right in the face but i know i can't. How am i suppose to face everyone with a bruise on my face? Damn I'm even finding all sorts of excuse for myself aren't i? I sat in front of the piano and Niel sat beside me. I started playing and Niel sang, even those parts that weren't his. I did rap for my part though. I feel like i need to rant out so i rap it out with much feelings again, trying to get rid of as much feelings as possible. At this moment, i just wish i don't have a heart so that i won't feel so pain. Its torturous seeing Chunji hyung being close with someone else and having to cheat our cute vocal of his feelings. Whenever he sings when i play the piano, i think of Chunji hyung. I used to only play for him unless there is no choice. It was our 'secret activity'. It was..... There ain't much difference in their voice is there? The only difference is one is the emotional voice and one is the power voice. I'm once again deceiving myself. I know clearly that their voice aren't the same, not in the slightest way similar. Then why did i do this? Because i wanted to live in my virtual world where hyung and i are close as ever, singing together when i play the piano, hanging out together all the time. Now the word together is broken and i only wish to live base on my memories, trying to deceive myself that Niel is Chunji hyung. I know I'm a jerk. I really know that but i really can't control myself from doing this too. (Author's Note: Sorry if this is a lil short guys. I wanted this chapter to be in the view of l.joe only. Dont hate l.joe for this please! Dont kill me too for making it progress this way! Next chapter will be chunji's view! Yes double update! I'm uploading from my phone again as there isn't much conversation and i really can't wait to update. Do enjoy, comment and subscribe! Silent readers stop hiding and tell me your views!!! Cheers! ^^ )