Today is Valentine's Day, February 14th, 2013. 

12 AM, and the day officially begins. I have 24 hours to do something, but I don't know what.

Should I do something cheesy and corny, or something that will be sweet and romantic? But the thing is, she doesn't even know she's my Valentine. I'm Lu Han, member of EXO, and I'm hopelessly devoted to this one girl who doesn't even know me. Okay, just kidding....she probably does know me since I'm in her company, and I'm extremely grateful for that. I came to Korea in hopes of becoming an idol, and even though I first tried out for JYP, I was rejected from them. but fate led me to SM when Mr. Oh scouted me, and I joined SM in 2010. 

At the time, she was out there, promoting and singing, and making guys across the world (maybe girls too, if they roll that way..I wouldn't blame them) fall in love with her. When I first entered SM, I was shy in meeting new people. But I guess I'm the type of person who can talk to others easily? And all the people at the building had the same interest, so there was no reason why I couldn't talk to someone. The same day I entered SM, I met another guy, who entered on the same day as me. His name is Kyungsoo, Do Kyungsoo, but he goes by mainly D.O. now. Pronouced Dee-Oh. His stage name is just his last name, haha. 

He first greeted me, and I said hi back. Time passed, and we debut in the same group as bandmates. But of course when you're with the same people for a long time, you get to know them. Besides him, I got to know the personalities and likes and dislikes of each of my brothers/bandmates. Including who they like as their ideal girl. And as expected, many of them said SNSD members. Taeyeon....Yoona...Yoona.....Yuri.....Hyoyeon...Taeyeon.....her name. When D.O. said her name, I cursed to myself. The same when Suho, Kris, and Kai said her name. 

Anyways, while she was out there promoting "Oh!", I had just joined SM. I didn't join SM just because I would be able to meet all of the idols I had closely followed, but there's no denying that that was one of the reasons. I had seen her occasionally in the building, because basically all the trainess and idols are at the SM building or at their dorms, one or the other. But I was just a trainee, and there were so many trainess that of course she couldn't get to know everyone's names, including mine. But whenever I would see her or meet her, she awlays had a bright smile and greeted everyone with her sweet and warm voice. She waves to us, encourages us, and then continues walking to one of the practice rooms to practice with her other members. I sigh, rethink, and head the other direction to my practice room. 

There are so many girls in the entertainment industry, but I only have eyes for her. 

It's been that way ever since. 

Fast forward, I debuted with EXO. During the showcase, she wasn't there, but her fellow members Hyoyeon-shi and Sooyoung-shi were there, watching us. But if she had attended, I don't think I would have been able to not embarass myself. But as I looked out at the audience and willingly hoped she would somehow be there, she wasn't. She was busy doing something else during April of 2012, but all our sunbaes in SM had wished us luck the previous day. 

When I performed History, MAMA, my dance with Kai, Into Your World, all that was on my mind was her. What would her members' first impressions be like? Would they discuss each member to the other members later on the day when they all were at the dorm, ready to go to sleep? Would my name pop us in their discussion? Or another member's? That's why, I told myself, I had to try my hardest to make myself the person I had been pushing to be for the past two years. I put my heart into dancing, my soul intos singing, and every emotion I could muster into my eyes. But she wasn't there to see it.

April passes, May passes, first SMTown concert in the United States. I was in another country with almost all of the SM idols, sharing the same stage, and being able to watch her and her members' perform on the screen backstage. The ending ceremony started, and I shyly stuck to my EXO bandmates like glue. We were all clustered in oe group, because we had just debuted so we did not have the confidence yet to bravely wave to fans individually. But many SM idols, besides her members, knew of my fondness for her. That's why when she walked in front of me, Jonghyun reached for me and patted my back, as if encouraging me to not give up. I sighed to myself. 

Many more SM Town concerts happened, and the only person on my mind was her. Every single concert. Every single song. Only her. Her singing. Her dancing. Her personality. Her sweetness. Her upbringing. Her everything. Especially her eyes. 

Okay, I could go on and on and on about her, but it's already been two hours that I've just been reminscing on the past year as an EXO member, and her labelmate. It's 1:12 AM, and I only have a few more hours before I have to go back to the SM building to get ready for our comeback. Luckily, she and her members are back in Korea after their concert in Japan, and they have to practice for their next concert at SM the whole day. So I have one chance. But the thing is, she must be really tired. I don't have half the things she has on her schedule, but I'm so tired all the time. But I look and tell myself to man up, because she has it much worst. I feel so sorry for her. 

That's why I have to do something for her. 

I sound so lame. I'm so lame. 

She probably has so many other guys that want to do something for her, like Changmin, who is a god at singing. Or Kyuhyun. Or even Minho, who she seems to be really close to. But I don't know if they like her that way, or they just think of her as a sister or friend. Honestly speaking, they probably do like her, because...who wouldn't? Even my EXO members like her. Not all, but most, which is kind of intimidating. 

The first thing is...how will I approach her? And what will I even do? And how can I do something without letting anyone know? 

I'm at the SM building now, and we're practicing. SNSD is about to arrive soon, and my heart is pumping so fast right now. I don't know who did it, but someone decorated the entire building in pink lace and dangling hearts. That makes me even more nervous, because every single person will have someone on their mind. There's no denying that every SM idol has someone on their mind, even if they say they're not dating. 

And she's on my mind. I think my stomach is literally twisting up, and butterflies are pounding against the walls of my stomach. I feel like throwing up. 

Focus, Lu Han, focus. Get yourself together and be a man.