It was a short flight from Jeju to Gyeonggi-do, they have a mini-van waiting for them in Gyeonggi-do. A tall, slender woman, with short jet-black hair, who has sparkling eyes and a bright smile went down from the mini-van and sashayed their way to hem. Sehun thought it was Baekhyun’s mother, because of the shape of her face and Baekhyun got her eyes.

“Byun Baek my babyyyy!” The woman hugged Baekhyun, almost carrying him and showering him with motherly kisses in the cheek and patting his face like he haven’t seen Baekhyun for years.

“Mooom. I’m not a baby anymore.” Stopping his mom and rolling his eyes but then he laughs and kisses his mom in the cheeks.

“Okay, big baby then.” They both laughed.

“I missed you mom. How’s Gyeonggi-do?” His mom fixes his hair and then gives his son an affectionate smile.

“I missed you too Baek. Oh, you brought friends?” Baekhyun’s mom noticed the other two and he kissed both Sehun and Luhan in the cheeks.

“Mom, this is Luhan.” Baekhyun interlocks their fingers and proudly said, “My boyfriend and this is--,”

Sehun cuts Baekhyun, “Hi Beautiful Mom, I’m handsome.” Sehun thumbing his nose and then winks.

“Oh hi handsome.” They all giggled.

“Shall we go to the house then? Everyone’s waiting.” Baekhyun’s mom carried Baekhyun’s suitcase and Baekhyun carried Luhan’s. Sehun was left standing. Why am I even here? Look at them. Pure torture.

Luhan went back to Sehun because Sehun was just there not even moving.

“Hey, let’s go.” Luhan nudged him in the shoulder and Sehun brought his senses back.

The house of Baekhyun’s family was not that big but it screams of the family atmosphere. Everyone was there waiting for Baekhyun as if everyone missed Baekhyun. They prepared a small feast for Baekhyun’s arrival. Baekhyun would always proudly introduce Luhan as his boyfriend. They accepted the relationship of Baekhyun and Luhan and branded them as the cute couple. Sehun then became the family’s favorite, everybody was calling him handsome and Sehun would strut his ‘handsomeness’ Baekhyun’s cousins was swooning and flailing and would take a picture with Sehun.

Luhan witnessed how his bestfriend would take a picture with the others. He didn’t like that sight. His eyes narrows at Sehun and when Sehun would notice, he’ll look at his boyfriend immediately. He then thought that he shouldn’t envy those girls, they were Baekhyun’s cousins and Baekhyun was his boyfriend. Why won’t he allow those girls to come to Sehun? Because he’s my best friend.

By night time, Baekhyun’s mom was assigning their room assignments.

“I can sleep in the car Beautiful Mom or in the couch. Don’t worry about me.”

“No, you can sleep with the girls. Sehun-ah, you won’t jump on my nieces right?” Sehun looked at the girls and then bit his lip teasing Baekhyun’s mom which smacked him lightly in the arm.

“Not sure Beautiful Mom, your nieces are all pretty but I’m afraid they are the one who’s going to jump on me.” Baekhyun’s cousins then again flailed.

“Luhan, you can sleep with Baekhyun. I supposed you two have have slept together in Jeju?” Luhan blushed beet red, they haven’t slept together. He shakes his head and Baekhyun walks to them.

“Mom, are you teasing my baby?” Baekhyun back hugs him and buries his nose to Luhan’s hair.

“I was just telling him to sleep with you for tonight.” Baekhyun shocked with his own mom’s words stopped her.

“Mom!” Baekhyun was blushing as well.

“Why? You haven’t slept together?” Baekhyun’s mom teased and the two were blushing nonstop. Luhan holding his warm cheeks and Baekhyun rubbing his temples.

“We haven’t. Okay?” Baekhyun’s mom chuckles at the sight of two young boys blushing at the thought of sleeping together.

“Then you two are sleeping together.. I meant, next to each other tonight. Does that sound better?” Baekhyun facepalms, his mother can really be shameless at times.

Luhan looked at Sehun’s direction who was now showing his gwiyomi player to Baekhyun’s cousins. How can he be so comfy with those people? He barely knew them.

“Are you okay?” Baekhyun looks at Luhan then to Sehun, feeling that tad of jealousy.

“Sometimes I’m really jealous with Sehun.” Luhan looks at his boyfriend curious to why he said that.

“Jealous? To that dummy?” He points Sehun who was now dancing to SNSD’s Gee. “Look at him, he freakin’ does aegyo to your cousins. He hates aegyo! He doesn’t even teach me that dance step. Ugh. I hate you Sehun! Ugh. I hate you so much! You are going to hear something from me when we go back to Seoul.” Luhan stomped his feet away from Baekhyun. Realizing what he just did, he closes his eyes. Luhan, you just did not walked out on Baekhyun. This is the dummy’s fault.

“Luhan?” Baekhyun called him and opened his arms which Luhan gladly accepted and buried his face to Baekhyun’s chest drawing circles and inhaling Baekhyun’s scent.

“I’m sorry.” Luhan says, Baekhyun soothing his boyfriend’s back but still feeling the same about Sehun.

“I shouldn’t have lashed out on you. I just.. sorry.” Luhan circles his hand to Baekhyun’s waist tighter.

“Luhan, I’m never the jealous type. I know Sehun is your best friend. But I can’t help it.” Baekhyun sighs and cups Luhan’s face searching for Luhan’s loving gaze.

“Sehun’s my bestfriend, we knew each other from way back even before we met.”

“I know, I understand that. But, it can’t be helped. Everytime I think of the times that I wasn’t there and Sehun was just there for you.. I.. I..” Baekhyun looks at the ceiling and Luhan wasn’t sure if he would like what’s going to hear. “I’m jealous. I don’t want to this but Luhan.. can you cut the ties with Sehun?”

“What? Baekhyun, no!” He lets go of Baekhyun and looks at him sternly. “I knew Sehun from God knows how long Baek, he’s my best friend, you know I love you Baekhyun, right?” Baekhyun nods, tears falling from his eyes.

“I know.”

“Then you just have to trust me that when I say I love you, I love you. Sehun’s my best friend and that’s it. I am not cutting ties with him Baek, he’s one of my strengths. Just like you, I need Sehun too. I’m sorry. I love you Baekhyun, I really do but I won’t give up my best friend.” Luhan didn’t see this coming. He thought that Baekhyun was just joking a while ago but he wanted him to cut ties with his only best friend. He can’t do that and would certainly not do that.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Baekhyun goes to Luhan and kisses him gently.

“This is liberating.”

“Are we fighting?” They both shooked their heads.

“I guess so, let’s not fight Baekhyun. I don’t like this to happen.”

“I love you Luhan, I love you so much.”

“Love you too Baek.”

“Lights off, goodnight everyone.” Baekhyun’s mom announces. For the first time, Luhan’s not sleeping beside Sehun and he was feeling uncomfortable.

Him and Baekhyun shared a good make out moment after their very first argument but feeling the exhaustion of the flight this morning, Baekhyun slept first after hovering on top of Luhan loving how Luhan’s skin is delicate and how his earlobes are so soft and ticklish against his tongue.

“Night baby.”

“Night Baek.” Baekhyun embraced him as he felt sleep eat him.

Luhan on the other hand was wide awake. Being trapped to his boyfriend’s arms and limbs, he can’t check if Sehun was as uncomfortable like him who was sharing a room with 3 girls. He then realized that this is the first trip that him and Sehun were not sharing a room. I should get used to this, I can’t always bring Sehun with me. Right? Or not. I could bring him, I just can’t sleep though. He sighs. Out of frustration, he stretches himself and grabs his mobile phone sending a message to Sehun just to check if the other was already sleeping.

Sehun’s phone vibrates. He can’t sleep. He was thinking how Luhan would handle the very first time of not sleeping beside him. Luhan was the one said he can’t sleep without Sehun beside him, right?

Sehun after reading the message stopped thinking that Luhan was uncomfortable like him on the other room but then his phone vibrates again.

2 new messages

He types a reply.

Sleep. Night. Zzzzzzzzzz!!

Or maybe he’s uncomfortable like me. I miss you too Luhan.

****

Luhan smelled bacon and eggs and touched the other side of the bed. He opens his eyes calling Sehun’s name then he remembered, he wasn’t sleeping with Sehun in that room. You’re with Baekhyun, stupid Luhan. He stands up and looks for Sehun immediately. He found Sehun in the other room arranging his things, ready to go back to Seoul.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Getting Sehun to stop from packing.

“Hi, Morning.” Luhan ignored Sehun’s greeting.

“I said, what are you doing?!”

“I thought you’re just in love and smitten, how did you become blind all of a sudden?” Sehun fakes a laugh.

“Shut up. I know you’re packing.” Sehun looks at Luhan and he smiles but beneath that smile, is the hurting heart that Luhan can’t see. He decided last night that he’ll stop from hurting himself. He had called the KaiSoo couple to pick him up that morning. If he stays with Luhan and Baekhyun’s family, he feels that he would explode and this masochism needs to stop. And he needs to do it, now.

“Good you already know, I need to go back Lu.” He gets his things that Luhan took out of his suitcase.

“I already told you that if Kai won’t—“ Sehun cuts Luhan’s words.

“I want to. I want to go back to Seoul Luhan. That’s where I belong. Not here, with you and your boyfriend’s family. I need to go back.” Luhan felt something’s not right. Something’s totally not right.

“Sehun-ah, do we have a problem?” Sehun knew what Luhat exactly meant. For the first time, Luhan felt that this problem isn’t platonic, it’s something serious, and something they didn’t expect to happen.

“Do we now?” Sehun breathes. Arranging some of his things in the suitcase, Luhan stops him and pulls him to look at his face.

“Sehun-ah, I’m asking you again, do we have a problem?”

“We don’t.” Lie and then Sehun adds, “But I do.” Luhan searching for the answer in Sehun’s eyes he shakes his head.

“If you have a problem, why won’t you talk to me about it?” Sehun scowls.

“If my problem concerns you, do you think you could talk me about it?”

“…………..” Luhan speechless, Sehun looks away, away from his eyes.

“See? You can’t talk me about it Lu. I’ve called Kai, he’s picking me up. Don’t worry, he’s not picking me up here in Baekhyun’s place you won’t have to see him. We’ll meet in the station.”

“And of all people, you’ll talk to Kai about your problem. Dammit!” Luhan sighs in exasperation. He knows that Sehun knew how he loaths Kai, but then Sehun turns to Kai about his so-called problem about him. What a nice best friend.

“Kai is my friend.”

“I am your best friend for God’s sake!”

“But you’re my problem!” Trying not to shout for Baekhyun’s family might hear, Sehun exhales and mentally reminds himself that if he planned before to not turn back when he’s about to confess, then there’s really no turning back this time. This time, he’ll definitely say it to ease his burden and he will move on.

“Then talk to me about this problem! If your problem is me, having a relationship with Baek..” Luhan stops. He sees Sehun was crying. Is it really….

“If it is, could you do something about it?” Luhan doesn’t know how to answer to this. “Lu, I don’t know what to do. I want to be happy for you. I really do but I can’t.”

“Sehun-ah..”

“It hurts me, it hurts a lot. I can’t be happy for the both of you. I can’t be happy if your happiness is with Baekhyun. It feels like my heart is being crushed to million pieces. I just can’t.. I’m sorry Luhan.” Luhan agape didn’t expect this. Slowly, tears came streaming into his eyes.

“I need to let you go, I need you to be happy. And if your happiness means to be with Baekhyun, then I am letting you go with Baekhyun.” Luhan shakes his head, No.. No.. Sehun no..

“Luhan, everytime I see you happy with him, you don’t know what it does to me. Every day with you makes it harder. I feel being stabbed straight into the heart..” Luhan just shakes his head.

“If making you happy means life with Baekhyun, then I’ll give way you happiness. I love you too much Luhan that it hurts me.” There, Sehun said what needs to be said. He goes close to Luhan and wipes his best friend’s tears away.

“Take care Luhan.” And for the first time, Sehun kisses Luhan. First and could be last kiss. Both were not moving just mere touching of the lips. Feeling all the pain, how could this happen to us Sehun-ah? Luhan circles his arms to Sehun’s neck to deepen the kiss. He moves his lips, tears falling from each other’s eyes. Sehun fighting the urge to respond in Luhan’s kiss, kept his mouth close. Open up Sehun, open up. But Sehun didn’t.

Sehun pulled Luhan’s arms that were circling in his neck.

“I need to go.” Sehun stormed out with his suitcase, wiping his tears away.

Luhan heard Sehun said goodbye to Baekhyun and his family and probably that’s also the goodbye from their platonic relationship.

When Sehun arrived in the station, Kai was already there.

“I won’t ask if you’re okay.” Sehun thanked Kai for that. He’s not even slightest close to okay. He was suffering and in pain.

“I didn’t know it would be this hard. Where’s Kyungsoo hyung?” He then again wipes the tear that escaped from his eyes.

“Something came up yesterday, but he’s worried that you’ll suffer from this. So he said I resume the tripp without him and he was right. Shall we—“

“Sehun-ah!” They looked back and saw that a familiar voice was calling Sehun from a far. It was Luhan, he followed Sehun in the station, alone.

“Let’s go Kai.” Kai stops Sehun.

“Talk to him first, and then we will go.” Why did Luhan have to follow him? He’s done. He said everything he wanted to say. He doesn’t need to explain further and he doesn’t want the pain to excruciate even further.

“I don’t want to talk to him anymore, Kai.” Kai doesn’t believe this but he pushed Sehun to talk to Luhan. Sehun glared at Kai but Kai ignored it.

“Sehun, please don’t do this. Please.” Sehun looks away.

“Luhan, do you love Baekhyun?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love me?” Luhan looks at Sehun. Sehun was waiting for Luhan to answer. Was it so hard?

“Yes but..”

“I love you too, Luhan. But are you happy with Baekhyun?” Luhan nods, tears gushing out of his pretty face. Sehun didn’t want to witness this, all he wants Luhan to be happy. Even if Luhan’s happiness means a life without him and losing him forever.

“I want you to be happy, without me.”

“I can’t.” Luhan wanted to just shake Sehun, why does Sehun make this thing so much harder? Why does he have to leave when he said he wanted Luhan to be happy? It confuses him that Sehun was acting like a total that he is, but this time, Sehun was hurting and Luhan feels it.

“Luhan, soon, we’ll have to face this thing without depending to each other. You have to be comfortable sleeping without me beside you, you have to do things without me. We have to learn that not all the time, we could be for each other.” No, no…

“No, Sehun-ah.. I’m going with you. I’ll go back to Seoul.”

“Are you going to be happy with leaving Baekhyun?”

“No.. I don’t know.”

“Go back to Baekhyun.” Sehun turns his back to Luhan. Luhan punches him in the back several times until the other stops.

“Why are you making this hard? Why are you making me choose?”

“I want you to be happy. That’s it Luhan. I’m leaving. Goodbye.” And Sehun walked out on him, Kai helps Sehun carry his suitcase, they left.

Back at Baekhyun’s house, Luhan felt he was suffering from emotional wreck. Several times, Baekhyun would tap him in the shoulder and would ask him if he’s okay. He would just nod and will bury his face to Baekhyun’s chest to find the familiar comfort that he grew accustomed with, but still something’s missing.

Baekhyun didn’t know what happened that morning. When he asked Luhan about it, he just shrugged and said that they fought. Luhan saying that it was normal for them to fight that way and then smiled bitterly. He knows something is wrong with the two, but he didn’t dare elaborate. He likes that he can have Luhan alone because Sehun left but he didn’t like that even if his boyfriend was physically there, something’s eating up Luhan’s thought or better yet someone’s in his boyfriend’s mind and he didn’t like it. Was he not enough? Is he not close compared to Sehun?

They arrived in Seoul, it was a gloomy Sunday morning. Luhan’s still not acting the way he used to. It bugged Baekhyun. He was scheduled to leave in a few days and he wanted to ask Luhan to come with him but every time Baekhyun would try to cuddle with him like he always does, Luhan won’t respond. He gave Luhan some more time.

****

“Mom,  Jongdae, this is Baekhyun my boyfriend, Baek meet my mom and my brother.” Luhan thought that this is just a phase, he has Baekhyun with him, he loves Baekhyun and Baekhyun loves him. That’s it. That’s what he thought.

“H- hi Baekhyun.” Luhan’s mom said, startled that Luhan didn’t inform them that Baekhyun was coming to go visit. They taught that Sehun was coming when he said that there’s an unexpected visitor and yep they were surprised and Luhan’s visitor was indeed unexpected.

Jongdae looks at his brother and he scowls. “What?” Luhan said. Jongdae pulled Luhan and mouthed “sorry” to the unknown visitor and pulls his brother to the kitchen.

“Mom thought that the visitor was Handsome.” Luhan rolled his eyes.

“My visitor is also handsome, isn’t he?” Jongdae flicks his hyung’s forehead and he knows that he’ll pay for it after. Luhan rubs his forehead about to hit Jongdae.

“Duh, I know he’s the superstar boyfriend but what I’m saying is..” Sehun. Luhan silently thought. “You know who I’m saying.”

“So what? Mom prepared dinner right?”

“Yeah. He prepared Handsome’s favorites because he missed that kid and even bought bubble tea and it’s in the fridge.” Even Luhan’s mom misses Sehun. Everybody in his family likes Sehun. He’s like the youngest son in this family.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint but he’s not the guest. Can I go to my boyfriend now?” He flicks Jongdae’s forehead and walks out of the kitchen.

At dinner, everyone was awkwardly silent. Luhan’s mom and Jongdae would look at each other, communicating in a way that only they could only understand. Luhan would look at the two, twitch his eyebrows and by that stare, Luhan’s mom and his brother would stop sending telepathic messages to each other.

“the food’s delicious.” Baekhyun awkwardly said. Luhan was smiling at Baekhyun and kissed him on the cheek. He also held his hand to ease his tension by a bit for facing Luhan’s family.

“Th-thank you Baek?” Luhan’s mom not sure whether she said the name correctly. Jongdae was forcing his self not laugh at his fidgeting mother. Luhan stepped on Jongdae’s foot below the table.

“What the hell?!” Luhan’s mom narrows her eyes to Jongdae.

“Your words Jongdae!” And smirk was plastered to Luhan’s face. That’s what you get for making an awkward atmosphere so obvious. Meh.

“Well, I’m glad you liked the food—“

“Baekhyun.” Baekhyun smiles and Luhan’s mom smiles back. Luhan gave him a squeeze in the hand letting him know that it’s okay.

“I’m sorry honey, let me get used to it. I was like this when Luhan first brought Se—“

“Mooom.” He looks at his mom as if passing an unknown message and his mom just nodded not sure why she did.

“Go on, I’d like to hear the story.” Baekhyun squeezed Luhan’s hand back. He needs to know, if he chooses Luhan to be with forever, he needs to accept everything that surrounds Luhan or he’ll be blinded forever.

“I was like this when Luhan brought his first friend here. Imagine, he introduced that kid to us as his first boyfriend and having him introduce you to us a while ago that you were his boyfriend brought back the memories when he was kid. Eversince that day, that kid would always go here and I would always prepare the dinner that I served tonight. And I would admit and say that I didn’t expect you to be or visitor tonight.” Luhan’s mom didn’t mean to sound rude but Baekhyun understood what she meant and he knew that Sehun was the kid behind the story. “Baekhyun honey, don’t mind me.” She smiles and pats Baekhyun’s head. “Luhan why don’t you show him the house, while I prepare the dessert?”

Luhan showed Baekhyun his mom’s collection of his and Jongdae’s baby pictures and their garden.

“My mom loves flowers. She’s a er for roses and I’m sorry for her attitude a while ago she kind of .” Baekhyun envelopes him to his arms and kisses his forehead.

“It’s okay, mom’s instinct I think?” Baekhyun grins and Luhan snakes his hand to Baekhyun’s waist to his back. He missed doing this to Baekhyun but still something is missing.

“I’m afraid I can’t be like Sehun. They love Sehun, don’t they?” Luhan looks up to Baekhyun, not sure whether he liked to answer that question.

“Like what I’ve said when we’re still in Gyeonggi-do, I’ve known Sehun for too long. He was my best friend ever since. His dad and my dad are also best friends so I guess it just continued on. When we left for the US and came back, he’s still the best friend I’ve known.” He cups Baekhyun’s face and caresses it with a sweet peck in the lips. “You don’t need to be like Sehun, okay?”

Luhan showed Baekhyun his room, on their way to his room Baekhyun took a good look at the photos in the side table. The first table has their family pictures, the middle table was for Jongdae’s pictures and the last table was for Luhan and Sehun’s pictures. Baekhyun didn’t examine it more just held Luhan’s hand and they went to his room feeling that alienated feeling once again.

At Luhan’s room, Baekhyun felt more out of place. Every corner has Sehun’s and Luhan’s photos. He sat down at the bed and pulled one of the photo albums.

“What’s this?” Baekhyun asked why scanning the album.

“Ah, that’s one of my projects when I was still on grade school before we go to the US.” Luhan adjusted the curtain windows to his room, smiling because he knew the photos in that album.

“Tell me something about it..”

“I think that’s something about having a best friend something like that.” Baekhyun scanned the pages and it has labels from January to December. Baekhyun started to look at each and every other month.

January

“Sehun celebrates his new year with your family?” Baekhyun asks. Luhan nods.

“Sehun’s parents would always have a trip to a different country every January. He’s not a fan of doing out of town trips, I figured out that he’s just making it up because he likes spending the new year’s day with us, so from then he would join us every new year.” Baekhyun looks at the young Luhan and young Sehun scaring each other would sparklers.

February

Baekhyun sees a young Luhan pouting with chocolate all over his face and a grumpy Sehun who has a chocolate stain in his cheek. Luhan laughed when he remembered the memory of the photo.

“That’s the first time that Sehun received a gift from a girl, I ate the chocolate.” Baekhyun laughs with Luhan.

March

Pictures of pre-school Luhan, grade school Luhan, separate photos of them during high school and a college photo.

“I thought you made this when you’re in grade school?” Luhan nods and said that the other photos were just added, he adds one every single year every month and Baekhyun nods.

April

“Our birthday month. We always celebrate our birthday together, as you can see in the pictures, we only have one cake per year.” Luhan looked serene while looking outside and this goes unnoticed to Byun Baekhyun’s eyes.

“Mom was the one baking the cake for us every year.” Luhan chuckles.

November

“Hahahahahahahaha.” Luhan laughed as he looked at his own photo in the album.

“Sorry, this photo is just funny. This is our very first trick or treat at school. Ever since that year, we always join trick or treat contests. We would always win.” Baekhyun look at Luhan and there the familiar feeling of jealousy creeps in his system.

December

“Aww, you look cute here.” Baekhyun muttered when he saw the reindeer costume along with the thin Santa beside him.

“And look at Santa Sehun so thin.” Luhan bursted out laughing.

Baekhyun closed the album, he looks at Luhan’s bedside and there’s a polaroid of two guy, arms looped to each other.

“Sehun?” Luhan nodded.

“That’s the first we watched fireworks together. Mom took the picture.” Baekhyun looks at the pictures at the wall and still Sehun’s face were plastered in the walls. Sehun sleeping, Sehun frowning, Sehun derp face, Sehun laughing. It was like it’s Sehun’s room more than Luhan’s.

“Can I ask why—“ Luhan cuts Baekhyun’s words he knew Baekhyun was jealous.

“I should have not brought you in my room. Sehun was the one to paste those photos in there. In return, in his room, my photos are pasted in his walls. I’m sorry, I’ll remove them soon.”

“Lu, do you miss him?”

“I do.” Baekhyun leans to the walls. If only Luhan answered no, he will not do this. He doesn’t want to selfish. He has never been this selfish.

“I have something to tell you.” Baekhyun shows him the plane ticket. Luhan looks at what Baekhyun was giving him.

“I’m scheduled to go back to the US.” Luhan was shocked. Sehun just left him and now Baekhyun? When he thought he would be happy losing Sehun because there’s a Byun Baekhyun waiting. “And I want you to fly with me to the US. Please promise me that you’ll think about it.” Shocked, he sat down in his bed. Not able to process what Baekhyun was offering him.

“I’ll be leaving these tickets with you, think about it Luhan. “ Baekhyun half begged, half pleaded and he left.

****

Luhan was facing one of the hardest decisions he had ever encountered in his 21 years of existence. Before when he was kid, he thought that choosing between strawberry and chocolate was hard, now he was asked to choose whether to let go of his first love or his best friend that he learned to love. He rubs his now swollen eyes due to crying. He can’t talk to his mom about this because his mom would all the more make him cry, and also he hates how his mom would hurt as well to see him like this, there’s still one person in this house that he can talk to, wiping his tears and blowing his nose he walks to his brother’s room, Jongdae.

A knock on the door.

Jongdae was startled and looked at his digital clock, mentally killing that someone who at 12:00 midnight bugged his serious game of Anipang. He scratches his head, closes the game, pretends to be awaken by the sudden knock and he opens the door. He was about to shout “What” when he saw that his hyung with bloodshot swollen eyes was on his front door carrying a brown envelope of some sort and the Mini-Sehun stuffed toy that Sehun gave him when he was 9. Jongdae wasn’t the consoling type of individual especially with his brother. He used to annoy and bicker with his brother so well. But something in his brother’s stance made him felt that he can take his brother’s whining for just one night.

“Hyung?” Luhan just sobbed and helped himself to Jongdae’s room putting the envelope beside and hugging the Mini-Sehun, he tucks himself to his knee and continues to sob. Jongdae thought this wasn’t a good idea after all.

“Jongdae-ah..” sob sob..

“Yeah? You need something?” Luhan shakes his head and punches the stuff toy in his hand.

“You need to tell me something? You see Luhan hyung it’s 12am and—“

“Jongdae who would you choose?” Jongdae confused with the sudden question let his hyung speak.

“If you were to choose, would you choose Sehun or Baekhyun?” sob, sob, sniff.

“Well hyung, I don’t know Baekhyun too well. So maybe, Sehun.” That was easy for Jongdae to answer because he wasn’t in Luhan’s position who was torn.

“If I rephrase the question with, best friend or first love?” sniff, sniff. Jongdae gave him a box of tissues and went to get a chair.

“Well, that was hard. But I think I know what you’re problem is.” Luhan looked at him and Jongdae looked away. Because looking at his brother’s eyes gives him the creeps.

“You’re torn with your great love which is Sehun and first love which is Baekhyun. You’re also torn to the reality and to your forced reality. Hyung, you know who to choose. You’re just afraid to take the consequences of that decision. Remember when I told you that you’re on first stage? I thought you were going to realize that in time. But then Baekhyun out of nowhere, appeared. What you have with Sehun wasn’t platonic, at all. Who becomes jealous to his best friend’s boss anyway?” Jongdae snickered and continued.

“You forced yourself to believe that Baekhyun was the person that you were waiting for when in fact, you loved Sehun ever since. I can see it in your eyes. The way you scare those people away who comes close to Sehun. And Sehun in vice versa. However, you just look at things you wanted to see. That’s why when you met Baekhyun you thought he was the one. But you were wrong.” Luhan then realizes everything that happened and he remembered their pinky promise when they were kids, all the memories that they shared and the series of firsts.

“But I loved Baekhyun, he’s all I ever waited and wanted.” Well he did love Baekhyun, he did.

“You might have loved him. But look hyung, if you really love Baekhyun with all your heart, then why are you confused? You won’t be ugly sobbing your way here to my room if you’re really sure like 110% sure, you know.” Jongdae examines the envelope that his brother brought. “What’s this?”

“Baekhyun wanted me to fly with him in the US.”

“You’re going?” Jongdae asked.

“Not sure.”

“See? I hope you get my point.” Luhan stands up, gets the envelope and carries the mini-Sehun in the arm.

“Thanks Jongdae-ah. Goodnight.”

“Night hyung.” The moment he closes the door, he pats himself in the head realizing that he was Dr. Love for the moment, he looks at his reflection and laughs then he continues his Anipang game.

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