“Hyung, come have lunch with us!”

“Where?”

“Jaejoong hyung’s place. He’s cooking!”

“I—I can’t, Changmin-ah. I have to report back to the office.”

“Okay. Then, come later after you get back from the office?”

“I’m still jet-legged and so freaking tired right now.”

“What jet-leg?! Tokyo’s time is no different from Seoul’s.”

“Ah. I really got to go, Changmin. Maybe another time, okay?”

“But, Yoochun hyung!!”

“See you!”

“Hyung,” Junsu whined from Jaejoong’s bed, “it’s game night! And, I know your schedule! You never have a photoshoot during game night!”

“Well, tonight is an exception, Junsu-ah,” Jaejoong smiled sadly at the younger one as he packed his stuffs, “this photoshoot is really important that I can’t reschedule.”

“What can be more important than us?” Junsu muttered, pouting.

Jaejoong laughed. “Em, my paychecks?”

“I hate you,” Junsu said.

Jaejoong laughed again. “I love you too.” Jaejoong zipped his bag and walked out of his room to the front door as Junsu followed him. “Don’t forget to lock my door, okay? I know you’re upset to me right now, but I can’t have my apartment being robbed.”

“Seriously, though,” Junsu hissed, making Jaejoong turned around, one foot already outside the door, “you and Yoochun. This is so ridiculous.”

Jaejoong threw him a forced smile, trying not to think about it. The pain in Junsu’s eyes, it would pass as the days go by, he was pretty sure of that. “See you, brat.”

“And, I can’t believe you leave me at your apartment, Kim Jaejoong! Ya!” he yelled as the door was closed right in front of his eyes, “A thief won’t rob your apartment, but I will!” he said to himself when he was already alone.

It was supposed to be Yunho’s turn to stay with Changmin during another one of his hospital visit, but Yunho was stuck at the court and he really couldn’t run away. So, he pointed Yoochun to replace him when fortunately the pilot didn’t have any flight schedule for the next two days. But it was unfortunate for Jaejoong because he didn’t know.

Yoochun was playing with the game in his phone on the couch while Changmin was watching TV from his bed. The older was complaining about how hard that game was and how the hell Junsu dominates the high scores of this game in my phone?!

Changmin laughed at Yoochun’s funny tantrum when Jaejoong went in with food in his hands. “Hyung!”

“I know you hate hospital food, so I br—oh, I thought Yunho’s here,” Jaejoong said and looked awkwardly at Yoochun.

Yoochun sat up and put his phone down in polite manner. “Ah, yeah, he is stuck at the court.”

“Oh,” Jaejoong simply said before walking to the table across the couch and took all of the food he brought out.

Yoochun was torn between staying still on the couch and helping Jaejoong. Changmin looked at him and nodded his head toward Jaejoong. “It smells nice, hyung!” Changmin beamed, but Jaejoong only hummed as a reply.

Yoochun stood up immediately and walked to Jaejoong’s side, helping him to set the food on the table, but his movements were too clumsy because of nervousness, until Jaejoong stopped moving and looked at him silently.

“What?” Yoochun asked.

Jaejoong laughed, but it wasn’t a fun laugh, it was forced, it was an acted laugh. “Nothing. This is stupid. I should go,” he said and turned away, leaving the room.

“Jae hyung!” Changmin called, but Jaejoong didn’t turn around.

Yoochun watched Jaejoong’s back getting further away from him and he was gone when the eldest turned to the right in the hallway. Then, he looked at Changmin sadly. “What to do, Changmin-ah?”

Changmin sighed tiredly and slumped back on his bed. He didn’t have his appetite and it was getting worst because of this. The doctor said he wasn’t supposed to get stressed, but he really couldn’t help it when it came to their friendship.

Yunho though that was it. That was how much he was being patient for those two fools when the both of them didn’t show up during their usual dinner night. They left them waiting for two hours before they finally decided to start eating the main course without those two. Changmin had to eat his medicines and he couldn’t eat them with empty stomach.

“I can’t believe a girl can torn us apart,” Changmin said while nibbling on his garlic bread. Changmin loves garlic bread, Junsu thought.

“Eat. You’re late for your medicines,” Junsu warned him and Changmin put the food to his mouth.

“Isn’t she still working at your gallery?” Yunho asked.

Changmin nodded. “But, I haven’t really checked on my gallery these days, so I barely see her.”

“She is cool,” Junsu said absentmindedly.

“She is indeed very cool,” Changmin agreed, “and, a hard worker too. I don’t know why an Ivy League graduates like her works at an art gallery. And, her major wasn’t even art.”

“Maybe, she loves art?” Yunho assumed.

“She does love art,” Changmin agreed again.

“Look,” Yunho started, “let’s not think about her now. We have to focus on Jaejoong and Yoochun.”

Junsu nodded. “Are we going to do something with them?”

“Of course we are,” Yunho answered, “we can’t lose our best friends.”

Changmin smirked. “It’s an intervention.”

Junsu scoffed. “I am so in for that.”

“This is so unbelievable,” Jaejoong muttered as Yoochun was pushed by Yunho and Junsu to sit right next to him on the couch of Changmin’s apartment.

“This is so reasonable,” Yunho said, pointing his finger to each of them.

Yoochun scoffed. “Oh, so now kidnapping someone from his own bed at Sunday morning is reasonable?”

“This cold war has to stop,” Junsu said, sitting next to Changmin while Yunho sat on Changmin’s other side. The three of them sat across of Jaejoong and Yoochun, judging them with hands folded in front of them.

“There is no such thing!” Jaejoong retorted.

“Okay,” Changmin said calmly, “then, hold each other’s hand,” he ordered and Yoochun and Jaejoong hesitantly did what they were told, “and look at each other’s eyes,” they turned slowly before locking eyes—Junsu snorted because their youngest was always an , “tell what you love the most about each other.”

“Why do we do that?!” Jaejoong yelled and broke his gaze off of Yoochun.

Changmin widened his eyes innocently. “Do that and we’ll never bother you guys about this anymore.”

Jaejoong sighed and finally decided to sacrifice his own pride so they would never talk about this anymore. But, Yoochun shook his head.

“They’re right. We should talk about this,” the pilot told.

“Ugh! Not you too!” Jaejoong stood up, “What is wrong with you people?” he said as he took his coat and was ready to storm out.

“If you walk out, that means you’re giving up on us,” Yunho spoke, stopping Jaejoong dead on his track, this time there was no tease in it, “and, I don’t want any of us to give up on us.”

Jaejoong didn’t turn away.

“We really wanted to shut up the whole time because we know it’s personal. But, we’re going to lose you both and we can’t have that, can we?” Junsu stood up, watching Jaejoong’s back with hopes in his eyes. Sometimes, Changmin thought that Junsu would die because he hoped too much.

“We’re fine,” Jaejoong snapped and turned around to face them again.

“No, we’re not,” Yoochun said.

“Why are you making this hard, Park Yoochun?!”

Yoochun stood up; there was anger in his eyes because oh God Jaejoong could be stubborn sometimes. “Because, I wake up every single day feeling guilty for this girl! Every time she calls, every time she texts me, every single time I talk to her! I feel like a jerk to you! I don’t want to live like that! I can’t live like that!!”

“Well,” Jaejoong snorted, “no one wants you to feel that way!”

“And, that’s exactly what makes it a lot harder! Don’t you get it, you idiot?!” Yoochun yelled.

Changmin chuckled softly. “This goes according to plan.”

Yoochun threw him a dangerous stare and Changmin sat still again.

Jaejoong pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed exasperatedly.  Everyone calmed down at that. “I’m fine, Yoochun-ah.”

“No, you are not, hyung. She is your love at first sight. Not so many people can have that. I can’t be like this to you,” Yoochun said while walking to Jaejoong. He pulled Jaejoong’s hand from his nose and smiled sadly. “I’m going to break this relationship off. I’m not the one for her and she’s not the one for me too.”

“But your parents—“

“They’ll understand,” Yoochun nodded reassuringly. Yoochun kept quite for a while, his hand was still on Jaejoong’s wrist. “I don’t want to go on like this. Not being able to be in the same room with you, joke around freely around you, eat your food, and, you know what worst?”

Jaejoong looked up at him. “What?”

“Not being able to have your disgusting but useful herbal drink when I’m hangover.”

“You know it’s herbal this whole time?”

Yoochun scoffed. “I’m not that stupid, Jaejoong, even in my hangover state of mind,” he said and Jaejoong laughed, this time it was sincered, “so, we’re cool?”

Jaejoong looked at him for a while. “You’re really going to break up with her?” he asked softly.

“One of us has to let her go.”

“But, doesn’t she—“

Yoochun shook his head. “She doesn’t love me, I can assure you that.” He smiled brightly at Jaejoong. “So, are we cool?” he asked again.

Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah, we’re cool.”

The two of them heard loud sighs coming from the other three.

“They’re cool,” Yunho patted Changmin’s thigh, “our friendship is okay now.”

“Do you—“ Jaejoong asked and looked at Yoochun for a while before continuing, “—really think that we’re giving up on us?”

Changmin shrugged. But, he had a smile after that. “Now, I know you will never be.”

Yoochun invited Nara for a dinner. Stupid Yoochun invited Lee Nara for a dinner in a romantic place where everyone in the room wore formal dresses and ties and tuxes. Stupid Yoochun was breaking up with his supposed-to-be-fiancé in a romantic restaurant. He could only curse at his own stupid idea.

“I just want to end it nicely,” he muttered to himself while looking at the chair in front of him, “yeah—but this place makes you look like you’re gonna propose. What if she expects more from you? What are you going to ex—“

“Are—you okay?”

Yoochun looked up and Nara was trying to hide a smile, although it was definitely a failure. Yoochun was stunned for a second before answering, pretty damn loud. “Yeah!”

Nara almost burst out laughing at the sudden loudness, which was weird. “What is wrong with you?” she asked as she sat down quickly before they attracted more attention.

“I don’t know myself,” Yoochun sighed and said to himself. And, then, he zoned out.

Nara was arranging her napkin on her lap when Yoochun caught her attention. “Hey,” she said, reaching out for Yoochun’s fingers on the table, “something’s wrong. I know I’m not your priority to talk to, but I’m all ears, okay?” she said softly and Yoochun thought for the first time ever since he came to his sense that he was a jerk, he actually felt guilty.

He didn’t let Nara’s hand go but he didn’t hold hers back too. He looked down to his menu. “I’m a jerk.”

“You can change.”

“I can’t.”

“Everyone can change to be a better person. You just have to believe in yourself tha—“

“It’s over.”

“What?” she said in response all too quickly and too spontaneous. This wasn’t what she hoped from this dinner, that was for sure. “What’s over? What do you mean over?”

“Us,” Yoochun held his head up and just dared himself to look right into her eyes. There were tears in her eyes and a pang in his chest. This wasn’t what he wanted from this relationship. Damn it. He wanted it to be serious too, he wanted this relationship to lead him somewhere far and good and away from the life he was living at the moment. But, he couldn’t, because Jaejoong’s face was haunting him everywhere he went. Even at that table, he could imagine the way Jaejoong would look at her lovingly. It was his bestfriend’s right. “I can’t be with you. We can’t happen.”

“You promised you’d try,” she trembled and pulled her hand away, hugging it on her chest like it was burning from the tip of Yoochun’s finger.

“I know I did,” he sighed, begged, whatever it looked like, “but I can’t.”

“Why?” she demanded.

“I just can’t.”

“Give me just one reasonable answer and I’ll let you off,” she said, chin up, daring him back, although she looked just as vulnerable as before, “don’t let me go just like this. It’s not fair for me.”

Yoochun threw his gaze away. There was a small family on the corner of the room; a strong middle-aged man, a sophisticated woman with warm smile, a toddler boy, and a baby girl sitting on a high baby chair. There was love in the man’s eyes toward his son and gentleness in the woman’s touch when she was feeding her baby girl. Yoochun wondered if that loving scene would fade away from that family. Happiness didn’t last long sometimes, especially for people like them who were always followed by the eyes of public, wherever they went. His family wasn’t broken; they were even far from it. But, it wasn’t like they were always so happy all the time. There were times when his father threw a vase angrily or his mother cried helplessly without a reason.

So, he thought, what was the point of it all?

“You are Jaejoong’s love at first sight and I can’t do this to him,” he said, looking at her eyes. And, the tears that were pooled on her eyes spilled out, but she didn’t make a scene of it.

“Okay,” she answered calmly, “it was really nice to know you.” She stood up slowly, making sure she didn’t slip, because a woman was not supposed to be reckless, not even during a breaking point where she was dumped by her own fiancé, or was Yoochun just a guy she thought she knew? “You’re a good person. I hope you know that. It was just—“ she sighed, “—you still can’t differentiate your own needs and desires and theirs. I know they’re your whole world, but they’re not your life. Thank you, Kim Yoochun.”

She left. They didn’t even get to order an appetizer.

But, Yoochun knew one thing, that happiness was the feeling his four friends ever gave him this whole time and happiness wasn’t pointless.

I'm back! Already seeing the end of this story while writing this chapter... I guess? LOL

New semester is coming up! The updates will be slower than this. I'm just an . Sorry:(

ENJOY!