Jaejoong was half awake when he felt the bed next to him was empty. He sat upright immediately and scanned the whole room carefully.

“Changmin?” he called slowly, loudly.

Junsu on the carpet stirred slightly and practically hit Yoochun on the face with the back of his hand, which caused Yoochun who was still deeply asleep next to him to stir too.

When there was no response from anywhere in the room, Jaejoong woke Yunho up. “Yah, wake up,” he said.

“Hmm? What?” Yunho asked groggily.

“Changmin’s missing!” Jaejoong said, trying his best not to panic. How could he let Changmin slip away from next to him? For the second time since Changmin ran away from the hospital.

Yunho sat upright immediately and scanned the room, exactly like what Jaejoong did. “Where is he?” Yunho asked.

“You wake those two up and help me find him outside,” Jaejoong ordered and Yunho nodded. Jaejoong stood up and looked for Changmin in the bathroom and closet, while Yunho woke Junsu and Yoochun before going outside the room. Yoochun almost hit his head with the edge of the drawer as he tried to synchronize his body and his foggy mind.

Junsu found him sitting on the porch, sipping tea, a sketchbook on his lap and a pencil in his hand. He tilted his head like nothing was wrong. Junsu held his chest for a while; his heart was still beating faster.

“You gave us a heart attack, you know that?” he said as he walked toward him and sat next to him. He naturally put a hand on Changmin’s forehead.

Changmin snorted and continued drawing. “An amusement park almost gave you a heart attack, hyung.” When he looked up again, Junsu was glaring at him, but Changmin laughed softly. “The fever broke down this morning,” Changmin informed him after getting his attention back to his sketchbook, his hand didn’t stop drawing.

Junsu sighed. There was no use to be mad with Changmin. Sometimes, he got a head like a rock. “And, you are allowed to walk around the house?”

Changmin looked at Junsu and smiled tiredly. “I’m fine,” he said, hoping it would take away the worries.

“Maybe we should just stay at home today.”

Changmin had his focus back on the sketchbook. “Yeah, we should do that.”

“Never thought it’d be this easy to persuade you to stay at home,” Junsu eyed him with worries.

“I’d like to spend some time quietly and peacefully today.”

“So, that means no prank on me?”

Changmin laughed whole-heartedly. Junsu smiled. “No prank on you today.”

Junsu nodded. “Alright, I’d love to have this Shim Changmin around sometimes, please.”

“Oh God, Changmin!! What are you doing outside?!” Jaejoong came and were babying Changmin right away. He put his hand on Changmin’s forehead and checked for any kind of wounds or injuries or anything. “Has the fever broken down? Why did you get out of the bed without telling us? You could just ask for anything! Oh God! Please don’t do that ever again! I’ll-“

Yunho’s hand on Jaejoong’s back shushed him up immediately and Changmin thanked Yunho for his presence, for his everything that had control on Jaejoong. “I’m fine,” Changmin said as he looked up and his wrinkled eyes made Jaejoong’s heart fluttered.

“Sorry,” Jaejoong said quietly, knowing how uncomfortable Changmin felt because of him, “I’ll cook breakfast. You guys come inside in twenty, okay?” He walked away without waiting for any answer.

Yunho looked down on Changmin and smiled softly. “Good to have you back, kiddo,” he said as he ruffled Changmin’s black hair.

Changmin leaned on the touch and chuckled. His eyes followed Yunho when he walked inside the house. Yoochun was standing there by the doorframe and he gave Changmin a casual smile before going after Jaejoong and Yunho. There was a time when Changmin like Yoochun the most because he gave Changmin nothing but a smile, and that was one of those time.

“You wanna be alone?” Junsu asked.

Changmin shook his head. “Your ridiculous company wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Yah!!”

“Was I overreacted?” Jaejoong asked when he stood side by side with Yunho, washing the dishes, after a quiet breakfast with the kids.

Yunho frowned. “No. You were just worried,” Yunho replied softly without taking his eyes off the dishes.

“I know right!” Jaejoong waved his soapy hand and the liquid was spurted all over them. Yunho backed down for a little bit, but he didn’t complain. Jaejoong threw his gaze outside the window. “Why did it feel like he hated it?”

“I would hate it too,” Yunho said truthfully.

Jaejoong looked at him sharply. “You said I was just worried.”

“Ah~” Yunho smiled, “being worried is normal. But your worried is always kind of over the limit.”

“Ya.”

“I’m just saying…” Yunho looked at Jaejoong for a while, before looking at the dishes again, “…that it’s hard on him—“

“Hard on us too!”

“Yeah, but you can’t, Jaejoong,” Yunho turned to him and put one of his wet hands on his hip, then leaned on the sink, “you can’t understand what he’s feeling. You can’t compare his hard time with ours. You just can’t. It’s not us who has to go through these stuffs. What we should do here is to support him, no matter what. Stop overreacting. Stop thinking about what we feel. Stop pitying him—“

“I’m not pitying him!”

“You are.”

“Am not! You—“

“Why do you get so defensive?” Yunho asked calmly.

“I hate you,” Jaejoong said before turning around and walk away, leaving the dishes and Yunho behind.

Yunho sighed. “Yoochun and I found him in the bathroom yesterday. There was blood on the sink and he was shaking,” Yunho said and closed his eyes. He wanted to get rid of that memory so badly. He hated looking at Changmin being vulnerable like that.

Jaejoong stopped in his track. He turned around. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“He didn’t want you and Junsu to know. Especially you.”

“Why?!” Jaejoong hissed.

Yunho turned around and faced him coldly. “Because of this. Because you’d act like this! Because people would be this worried—!”

“How do you expect me to be not worried?!”

“He feels like he’s a burden to us, Jae! He knows that someday when his body won’t be able to take this anymore, he will need help in everything that he does! And, can’t you imagine just how much he’ll hate that?! He’ll hate himself for that!” Yunho laughed humorlessly.

“Yunho, you know I want to take care of him,” Jaejoong replied so softly this time.

“I know!” Yunho said desperately, “I want to take care of him too! But, everything needs adaptation. You, me, him, all of us. But, let’s just—“ Yunho sighed, “Let’s just take care of him quietly. He doesn’t need all of us babying him and asking if he’s okay every single minute. Just be there for him, constantly. Just make sure that he know that we’re all ready to catch him whenever he falls.” Yunho looked at Jaejoong sympathetically. He knew that Jaejoong would be the one who took the news the hardest. After all, he always had a soft spot for the youngest.

“It’s hard. You know me.”

“I know you. I know every single one of you like the back of my hand. And, I know Changmin just wants to be treated normally. Let’s just do that for now. Okay?”

Jaejoong looked away. He feels like a girl. So vulnerable and full of emotion. He hated it. So, he straightened his back, chinned up, and looked at Yunho willingly. He had to be strong. “Okay.”

Changmin was sitting alone on the porch again when Yoochun came in and took his sketchbook from Changmin’s lap only to be laid down by him. He opened the sketchbook and looked at the drawings one by one. Changmin laughed quietly while looking away. A few minutes passed by without a word. Changing stomped his feet to the ground until Yoochun’s head bounced from the movement.

“Ya,” Yoochun warned him from behind the sketchbook.

“Ya,” Changmin mimicked him, “hyung, why are you being such a girl? Suddenly laying down on my lap?”

“Where’s Junsu?” Yoochun asked without showing his face that was covered by Changmin’s sketchbook.

Changmin shrugged. “He said he needed to check his phone. He couldn’t leave his business behind.”

“Oh,” Yoochun said as he hugged the sketchbook naturally and closed his eyes.

Changmin looked down on Yoochun. “What is going on with his company anyway? I haven’t really had the time to ask him properly with—you know—everything that’s been going on.”

Yoochun smiled softly. “There was some problem. He freaks out and thinks that they could get bankrupt. I don’t really know the detail too. He never wanted to talk about it.”

“Bankrupt as in he’ll be broke?” Changmin asked carefully.

“Don’t worry. Even if his company got bankrupt, he won’t lose all of his money.”

Changmin nodded. “Just be there by his side, huh?”

“Just be there by everyone’s side,” Yoochun corrected it, “Yunho’s family is in trouble too.”

“His grandfather to be exact,” Changmin said.

Yoochun nodded. “I heard when my father talked about it to his colleague nights before we went off here. His grandfather has been suspected for a long time.”

“What? As a corruptor?”

“Yeah. Yunho’s father and uncles are going to be suspected next for receiving the dirty money. They’ll check them out, probably arresting them too.”

“Don’t tell him that.”

“He knows. After all, he knows the whole law thing better than any of us.”

“I’m worried that he doesn’t talk about it.”

Yoochun smirked. He opened his eyes and there were soft looks in his eyes. “You are all just the same.”

“What?”

“You don’t want to trouble the others with your problems. Instead, you’re worried for one another. In the end, there’ll always be something we hide from each other.”

Changmin chuckled. “I guess that shows how much we love each other—“

“And, how stupid we are.”

“Why? Just because we’re being considered doesn’t mean we’re stupid.”

Yoochun sat up and looked to the front. “And, what if we weren’t there the night you passed out? Would you hide it from us until you die alone?” He looked at Changmin and Changmin looked away. Yoochun laughed softly. “That shows exactly how stupid you are, Shim. And not just you! Yunho and Junsu are just the same idiots as you. You don’t know us that better.”

“What exactly is your point?” Changmin faced him. There was a little annoyance in his face. This Yoochun hyung was not his favorite Yoochun hyung.

“My point is that…you think you’re being generous enough by hiding it from me. You don’t want me to see your pain. But, when you die and you die alone, I am the worst best friend and the biggest in the whole wide universe. Oh, fine, you’re an angel, Shim Changmin, you let yourself suffer alone. But what would that make me? A horrible best friend for letting you go through it alone, for being stupid enough not knowing that you’re in pain, for—“

“Stop, hyung,” Changmin looked away. He could never handle the moment of truth with Park Yoochun because Yoochun would always right and made sense in times like this. Because he knew, he would feel just the same when he was in their position. “I get it.”

Yoochun sighed. “I’m sorry, Min, but you know I’m right. You’re just being plain stupid and selfish. There is nothing that I want in this world besides sharing your problems. All of you.” Yoochun ruffled Changmin’s hair. “Hey.”

Changmin looked at him and he felt like a lost child. Yoochun felt like he just found his lost youngest brother.

“I know it’s hard. You just want to be normal again, right? But, share with us just a little bit. When you’re in pain, say it. We’re not being your friends only for the good times. We’re your friends especially on your worst times. Trust me. I’ll say exactly the same thing to Yunho and Junsu.”

Changmin gave him a small smile. “Promise?”

“As long as you promise not to lock us out again.”

“I never locked you guys out. I wanted you in, I just didn’t want you guys to see the bad side of me.”

“Than you’re a fake. And I hate that. So, promise me?”

Changmin looked down for a while, closing his eyes and replying the words Yoochun said over and over again. “Promise.”

They spent ten days in London, visiting around, knowing their limits—Changmin’s limit. But, still having a lot of fun. It had been a long time for them to travel around together and they were glad they made it happen. The last time they travel together was to visit Changmin in Italy and then everything happened so quickly. Yunho’s and Jaejoong’s career climbed, Junsu got caught up with his graduate school, and Yoochun had too much fun traveling around with the huge transportation.

By the time they stepped on the airport, Yoochun’s phone ringing. He excused himself while they waited for their stuffs. When he came back, there was a sad smile on his face.

“What?” Jaejoong asked.

Yoochun shook his head. “Just my boss.”

“Are you in trouble?” Junsu asked sympathetically. He couldn’t not feel guilty about it. It was his idea.

Yoochun nodded jokingly. “I’ll be spending the rest of this year on the plane.” He laughed and the others followed.

The next phone that was ringing was Yunho’s. He took the phone call without excusing himself. After speaking for a minute, he looked up to the rest of them. “I wrote my number as Changmin’s emergency contact back in the hospital. It was Changmin’s doctor. He couldn’t contact Changmin.”

“Is everything okay?” Jaejoong asked softly.

“The further information about Changmin’s test has come out. He wanted to talk to you immediately.”

“Stage three. It is stage three,” Changmin spoke on the phone.

Junsu scribbled down the paper on his table. They had let Changmin to talk to his doctor all alone by his own request the next day after they landed in Seoul.

There was a baritone voice through the speaker. Yoochun cleared his throat. He was probably caught up with the news too, or he was just still too exhausted after hours of flight to Hong Kong without a single mercy from his airline company. “What are they going to do then?” comes a sleepy voice.

“They set me up for a chemotherapy. It’ll start next week,” Changmin answered casually.

“Why do they have to wait that long?” Jaejoong asked quietly.

“A week is not a long time, Jae—,” Yunho voiced out on the speaker too.

“Nice to hear you cursing right after my name, Yunho,” Jaejoong mocked coldly.

“Sorry,” Yunho was panting like he was doing something. When he calmed down a little bit, he continued, “I dropped my paperwork.”

“Wow,” comes Yoochun’s husky voice again, “I thought Junsu is the only one who’s working at this hour.”

 “How do you know?” Junsu finally spoke.

“I have a good sense,” Yoochun replied and Changmin snorted sounded so clear on the speaker.

Jaejoong sighed. “We’re talking about Changmin here,” he reminded them.

“Right,” Yoochun said.

“Hyung, it’s no big deal. They just have to wait and look at the result all over again. If they think I’m ready in two days, I’ll start in two days. Relax, please?” Changmin said.

Jaejong sighed, again, and Junsu started getting tired of it. “Okay, fine, sorry.”

They all spoke for a really long time that night. Talk about everything, Yoochun’s arranged relationship, Yunho’s grandfather, Junsu’s company, Jaejoong’s being Jaejoong. Just everything like they hadn’t talked in a really long time although they just spent ten days together away from all of those problems.

“Is Yoochun hyung asleep?” Changmin asked.

Yunho hummed. “I guess so. He’ll have to pay the worst telephone bills this month because of this international call.”

Jaejoong laughed softly. “It’s four freaking hours already. He has to ride a plane back to Seoul in five hours. He needs to rest. And, I gotta go too.”

“Aw, hyung, why?” Changmin whined.

“It’s late, that’s why, idiot. You need to sleep too. All of you guys! Is Junsu still in the office?” Jaejoong asked worriedly.

Junsu smiled at his concern. He drew random lines on his paper. “Yeah,” he breathed.

“Ya,” Yunho scolded, “go home.”

“Or sleep on the couch,” Changmin continued, “it’s too late to drive. Not safe.”

“Yeah, sleep, you ,” Jaejoong said.

Junsu laughed. “I will, I will. I’m moving to the couch now,” he told lies when the truth was he still sat on his chair and now looking out of the window.

“You big liar,” Jaejoong spitted.

“What? I told you the truth!” Junsu defended himself.

Jaejoong snorted. “Like I would believe that.”

“I’m hanging up,” Yunho said, “and I’ll call your security office to ask them to check up on you.”

“What? You have their number?”

“We all know everything about each other like the back of our own hands, right, Yunho hyung?”

“You got that right, Shim. So, I’m really hanging up now,” Yunho said.

“Ya, hyung. Yunho hyung? Ya.”

“It’s just the three of us now,” Jaejoong informed them, “I’m hanging up after Changmin.”

Changmin laughed. “Alright. I’m hanging up now then. Rest well, hyungdeul. I love you guys so much. Talk to you guys soon. Bye!”

Junsu laughed at the maknae.

“You hang up now,” Jaejoong demanded.

Junsu sighed. “Okay, okay, hormonal mother.”

“Ya.”

“I love you too. Bye!” And Junsu hung up.

Ten minutes later, someone knocked on his door. It was one of his securities. Yunho really did make the call.

Do you guys really think that I'm leaving you guys? NO!

Oh God, my 63 wonderful subscribers :') I know there are stories with a lot more subscribers, but I'm still grateful for all 63 of you!! THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU!

Sorry for making you guys wait.........This year is full of ups and downs in my campus. I got into three different committees and I have big responsibilities in those committees. And, I'm taking short semester but it's insane. Usually, they multiplied the credits by two, but this time they multiplied them by three :"( And! One of my lecturers kindly gave me and my friends the biggest project as our assignment and that is to design a freaking dock! I just finished my fourth semester two months ago for God's sake! Haha! But it's fun and I'm happy with my major, so I'm excited with this project although it's tiring.

And above them all, I'm having writer's block. I've been trying to write for the past two months, but I don't know... So, please, bear with me >.< 

Thank you for your support. I owe you guys :)

ps: I promise it'll better next chapter :)))))