009

The Art of Jealousy

Minho POV

I sat in my bed with my legs folded, crying. I never cry, but something got to me. Just where in the hell was he?? He'd been gone all morning, and night for that matter. This has been going off and on for about a week. I immediately started to recall that one night when we left Taemin at the dorm, whilst we went partying. After that clubbing night out with the rest of my members, I decided to literally crash in my bed. I think I might have broken the box spring, but at that point in time, it didn't matter much. I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I think that I actually might miss Taemin. 

The next morning, I woke up to a pounding headache. No more alcohol for a week. I hate hangovers, they never do any good, they're always a nuisance. I rubbed my eyes, and sighed deeply. I looked over at my nightstand at my alarm clock. The time read ''3:21 AM'' Just peachy, I almost slept for 24 hours. I looked over to my right, expecting Taemin to be bunched up in his covers on his full sized mattress. 

I got off of my own bed and walked over to his.

"Taee..." I said lazily. 

There was no response. I stepped a bit closer to his bed, and drawed the comforter back. There was nothing in his bed but pillows and a plushy toy. I became worried, and decided to search around the dorm. After about 30 minutes of searching, I gave up. I decided that it wasn't any of my business. He's of age, so I guess that he can do what he want. I would be a hypocrite if I said that he couldn't go out, while I was hungover from just being out. 

I decided to head back to my own bed, and sleep til morning. 

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Taemin POV

I had woken to the sound of music blaring in the surround sound speakers. I jumped up in fear, since the noise was so sudden. I got up from my not so comfortable position on the hard wooden floor. I checked my surroundings. I was still in the practice room. Another group was practicing. I had no idea who these kids were, and really...I didn't care. It did not concern me. I checked my phone. I had twenty missed calls and over ninety text messages from my bandmates.   was the first thing that came to my mind. I knew that once I got back to the dorm, I was going to be drilled with questions, until I was full of holes. This wasn't good, especially since I couldn't give them a straight foward answer because LSM doesn't want them to know about the new group yet.

I looked at my wrist watch. It was 10 am. I got up off of the floor, grabbed my duffle bag, and left the practice room. I'd been gone all night, and it hurt to know that I had possibly burdened my members. I was in fear at the thought of Key hyung snapping at me. How would they react? Would they be angry? Relieved? Uncaring? Scared? 

All of these thoughts raced in my mind. I needed to stop overthinking the situation. It was about a 15 minute walk back to the dorm. I spent the whole time thinking about what was to come. As I put my key into the lock, I broke out into a sweat. I felt it on my neck, and on my forehead. Time seemed to move painfully slow, as I stepped into the dorm.

The morning sun shone dangerously bright through the opened blinds. Jonghyun hyung was playing CoD, Key hyung was sitting at the dining room table, enjoying a news paper, and a cup of tea. Minho and Onew hyung weren't in the room. I'm guessing that they drank the heaviest, so they would be asleep. 

Jonghyun and Key hyung didn't notice me, until the door shut behind me. Key looked up at me in shock. I looked back with a nervous smile. 

"...Tae...." Key hyung said to me.

"Heyyyy you guys." I said nervously. My palms were getting sweaty. I felt my hearbeat speed up.

"Where were you?" Jjong hyung asked. I was expecting this question, but I never thought out how to answer it. 

"Uh...out." I said, trying my best to dodge the question.

"Well...it's obvious that you don't wanna tell us. I thought that I should let you know that some guy named Jong In was here just a few minutes ago looking for you." Key hyung said.

"R..reeally?" I asked confused. How could he know my home address? I literally just met him today....well...yesterday.

"Yeah..do you know him? He had a bright face that turned a bit pale and gloomish when I told him that you weren't here." Jonghyun said. 

", how am I supposed to answer this without causing any more suspicion?" I thought.

"Uh....I think so. That name sounds familiar. Maybe I know him from the past." I lied.

Jonghyun squinted at me before returning to his game.

Key walked up to me and hugged me, kissing me on my forehead.

"I'm glad that you're safe, Tae. Now go and take a shower, you smell like sweat and anxiety." he said to me. 

I chuckled, and did as instructed. That went a whole lot better than expected. I was expecting something a lot worse, but that was a lot better. I had to deal with Minho though. I couldn't even imagine his reaction to me being out all night. He treats me like I can't take care of myself, but he's wrong...dead wrong. If I was so little, LSM wouldn't have asked me to train Exo.

I thought about this Jong In guy, as I showered. I was thinking of how fluent and powerful his dancing was. I was impressed by him. I started thinking about his smile, and how his eyes got crow's feet easily. His smile was bright and beautiful. I liked the way he trained hard, and showed determination and ambition. It was obvious that he was passionate about this type of lifestyle. I saw alot of myself in Kai. He was a special guy. I liked the way his made a perfect 'U' when he was being cute. I liked how he was always smiling. I found myself liking alot about a dude that I just met.

Did this make me gay? I cried in the shower. Who am I? What would my members think if I was? I can't think about it too much right now, so I decided to cut my much needed shower short. I looked down at my abdomen region. I had an . Great. I had to get rid of it, so I tried thinking of things that grossed me out. With no avail, I just started to e. I've only done something like this twice in my whole life. It felt unbelievably good. I moaned, and groaned. Where had this feeling been all of my life?

"uh....Jong In...." i moaned. 

Immediately after those words escaped my mouth, I stopped my member. I gasped and cried a bit more. I'm gay aren't I? More importantly...over a guy that I barely know. I sat on the edge of the tub, thinking about all of the past times that I suspected myself being homoual. After thinking about it for what seemed like hours...I realized something. I always seemed to fancy the same . Sure women were beautiful and y beings, but it's something about the man that made me feel special. Something about guys made me tingle. 

I also realized that I had repressed this feeling for most of the twenty years that I've been alive. I couldn't think of why, since most of my friends were gay. I guess that I always thought that I'd be left alone if I were to come out. I liked boys...and it would just have to be something that I needed to face. I wiped my tears and looked in the mirror at my self. I was a very attractive male. I am Lee Taemin. I am gay, and I will be proud. I don't care who disapproves of it, because those people do not make or break me. I will be the strongest that I can. 

I needed to tell someone, but who?

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Comments

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Rijat1 #1
Chapter 11: Please taekai ❤️
Shama14 #2
:o...............
emilysername #3
Chapter 11: Will this end up as Taekai or 2min? And I love it if you keep updating.
woosansweetkins #4
This is taekai or 2min?
Djatasma
#5
Chapter 11: Oh and yes continue
iamcinta
#6
Chapter 11: i like this story...so hopefully u can continue ^^
authornim FIGHTING!!!
Djatasma
#7
Chapter 11: This is super cute!
Krease99
#8
Chapter 11: OMG you updated! Continue this please. I wanna read it ^^
MugiwaraNoMiwa
#9
Let it be a TAEKAI fanfic pleaaaaaaaaasssseeeeee TT.TT
Krease99
#10
Chapter 7: Taemin will train exo! :D now he finally meets Jongin ^^ Taekai FTW! XD