Your POV

Inside I feel so lost.

I have no idea where I am, who I am, and even what I can do with my life.

I sigh once again causing Howon to toss something on my desk while shouting my name.

“Chung Cha, is something bothering you?”

I shake my head, “No, I’m fine .”

“You don't’ seem fine to me. Lucky for you the day is over,” he calls to me as he packs his briefcase up.

Howon’s father comes walking towards Howon’s open office door.

When he’s walking by me I have to hold my breath to keep myself from wanting to snap his neck.

“Father, what do you need?”

“I was wondering if you had those papers for me.”

I reach over on my desk and hold it out to him, “Your secretary was supposed to pick it up earlier today so I kept them at my desk wondering if she was ever going to come.”

I get a stink eye and I simply answer it by smiling at him to piss him off more.

“Hoya, are we heading out to meet your friends or not?”

His dad gives me a look and I give him a look back well I try to push off the feeling that I know this creep from somewhere.

As we Howon leaves his office I give his father a once over with a distasteful look on my face I’m sure.

When Howon and I walk into the elevator and I feel his arm wrap around my shoulder I don’t feel lost anymore.

Instead I feel like I had been given beyond perfect directions on who I am, where I am , and what I can do with my life.

I can't hold the question that crossed my mind at the beginning of the day go unanswered, “How is that man your dad? I mean the 2 of you are opposites.”

“I know I think I must get my personality from my mother.”

“Will I get to meet her?”

“Yeah, sometime maybe.”

I nod my head as we’re walking to his car.

When we reach it I slip into the passenger’s seat and laugh when I notice the hello kitty sticker.

“You still have this?”

He looks over at it and laughs, “No, that’s a new 1 that I got the original...”

“Oh you do still have it though,” I say to him.

He slowly nods his head, “Yeah, how could I not have something that you gave me before you left?”

I giggle as I look over at him tracing the sticker, “How did you find a copy of it?”

“Oh I made a copy. It took forever to get the scanner and that to work but I got it.”

I smile at him as I slip my seatbelt on all the way and tap his shoulder, “We should go before the guys get the wrong idea.”

“Yeah,” soon we’re pulling out of the parking garage and driving towards whatever restaurant his friends wanted to meet him at.

When we’re walking into the restaurant I see a familiar face that I thought I’d never see again. Last time I saw her was in father’s rearview mirror after they divorced when I was 6 years old then at the age of 7 I was recruited when my father was killed.

“Mother?” I call out to the woman grabbing her arm surprising her.

She looks back at me and whispers my name.

Slowly I nod my head and look at her, “Yes.”

I feel my mother’s hands place themselves on my cheeks as I hear my mother whisper my name again and then said, “You should not be here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Where is your father?”

“He’s dead,” I tell her quietly as an older man around her age walks up to her.

I watch sadness wash over my mother’s eyes but when the male wraps his arm around her shoulder she becomes a completely different person.

“I’m sorry but I can’t help you,” she says to me mumbling something under her breath dropping something on the ground.

When they are out of sight I reach down and pick up the piece of paper.

I look down and read it, “I’m sorry please contact me later at this number...” right after it was a phone number.

I look over at Howon and let him wrap his arm around my shoulder, “Chung Cha, you know that you don’t need to stay here.”

I nod my head crumpling the piece of paper in my hand then shoving it into my pocket as we walk back to his car.

“Are you going to be alright?”

I shake my head as I look at him, “I’m not sure.”

As he slides into the drivers seat her asks me, “Who was that?”

“My mother who I haven’t seen since I was a child.”

“Really?”

I nod my head, “Yeah, my parents separated when I was a 6 years old. I haven’t seen her for what seems to be 16 years.”

“Why did she act like that?”

“I’m not sure, but I have a feeling it might have been the reason that my parents separated.”

“Why did they?”

“I’m not sure they would never tell me why. Well not that my mother ever got to tell me since I never saw her again.”

“I bet you feel a bit lost wondering why your mother just acted the way she did?”

I nod my head, “She was always secretive.I wish I remembered more from when I was a child, but I don't the only thing I really remember is watching my mother from the review window while my father drove off.”

“Really is that as young as your memories go?”

I nod my head, “And it doesn’t help that a year later  my father died in a car accident. I was adopted me when I was a kid and I haven’t seen any of my biological family since then.”

“What was the adoptive family like?”

I look over at him and hold my breath as I say, “It was more of an institute then a family.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a long story but can we wait until I’m ready to talk about it?”

He nods his head and I feel even more lost than before, but when I hear his voice I seem found.

“I’ll wait for you to be ready to talk about your past. Is the insitute what you're running away from?”

I nod my head, “They were cruel to us.”

“Is that all you have to say?” I nod my head and he says, “Then I’ll take that for now.”

Will he accept me when he finds out about my past?

How will I act when he no longer accepts me?

Will I become lost like the other’s when they lost what little life and self worth that they had?

“Why do you look so lost?”

I shake my head, “I guess memories took me over.”

He simply accepts my answer as he pulls out his phone as 1 of his friends call him.

Soon I’m sitting in his apartment curled up on a couch feeling even more like a lost puppy.

“Hey, Pup,” I hear Howon call out to me.

“Pup?”

“Yeah, nice little nickname,” he asks me.

I roll my eyes as I look at him, “Whatever you say purple.”

“Purple?”

“Yeah, remember your nice little obsession with the color.”

He laughs, “Yeah I remember it just didn’t think you did.”

“Of course I remember it. I always picked on you for it, but there was that beautiful dress you got me when we first met in some words.”

He smiles as he leans down where his face is in front of mine, “Chung Cha, can I ask you something?”