Wish

 

Part 3

 

 

“Taeng!”

 

 

“Soo? What are you doing here?”

 

 

“Nothing. Just visiting. By the way, I brought my cousin with me.”

 

 

Taeyeon’s expression quickly dissolved upon the mention of Sooyoung’s cousin. She tried her best not to show her dissatisfaction though.

 

 

“Hello.” Jessica greeted as she approached the two women.

 

 

“Hi.” Taeyeon said rather stiffly.

 

 

Jessica flinched when she noticed the irritation in Taeyeon’s voice. She still dislikes me.

 

 

“So, why are you guys here?”

 

 

“Ah, Jessica here heard that you draw and she was interested in learning more about…art stuff. If you’re not too busy maybe you could teach her a thing or two.”

 

 

Taeyeon stared at Jessica scrupulously as if not believing that she was actually interested in art. She doesn’t seem like the type of person who would be.

 

 

“You’re interested in art?”

 

 

“Yes, I am. If you’re not too busy, I’d really love to learn more about art.”

 

 

Taeyeon thought for a moment.

 

 

Although she doesn’t fully believe Jessica’s words, she’s polite enough to give her the benefit of the doubt. Who knows, maybe she really is an art freak like her.

 

 

After awhile she reluctantly agreed.

 

 

“If you’re really interested in art, I guess I could teach you—”

 

 

“Great! I’ll just leave you two to it! See ya!”

 

 

Before Taeyeon could protest, Sooyoung dashed away in lightening speed, leaving Jessica and Taeyeon by themselves.

 

 

Jessica heard a low groan emit from Taeyeon. She felt uneasy knowing that her presence isn’t wanted by Taeyeon. Although it hurt, she doesn’t want to push it any further and be a burden to Taeyeon. Therefore, as much as she wanted to spend some time with Taeyeon and perhaps befriending, she’d rather sacrifice her happiness for Taeyeon’s happiness.

 

 

“Actually. You know what? I don’t think this is such a good idea. Maybe I should just go.”

 

 

Taeyeon turned to Jessica, surprised by her sudden statement.

 

 

Jessica forced out a smile. “I know you’re not fond of me. I always sense your discomfort whenever I’m around and for that I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Anyway, it was nice meeting you. Good bye.”

 

 

Jessica turned to leave.

 

 

As she did, her true feelings surfaced into her face. A frown replaced her smile and melancholic eyes replaced her jubilant ones.

 

 

With heavy steps and shoulders drooping, she began walking away.

 

 

She was ready to go home and wallow in self-pity like she always did after a rejection from Taeyeon, but before she could take her fifth step, a hand grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her back and halting her from taking another step. She gasped, startled by the sudden action. She turned around and stared at Taeyeon with wide eyes.

 

 

Taeyeon quickly let go of Jessica’s wrist and apologized. Then she took a deep breath and looked down to avoid Jessica’s questioning gaze.

 

 

“Look, Jessica. I-I’m sorry if I made feel like I didn’t like you. It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just that…you…you...aish.” She doesn’t want to come off rude but she knows she needs to be honest. “Okay, I’m not going to lie, you come off a little too strong for me. What I mean is, you come on a little too friendly? I feel intimidated by you; your gestures, your behavior, your words…everything. I-I’m not used to such things. That’s why when you’re around I feel uncomfortable.”

 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

 

Taeyeon saw the frown deepening on Jessica’s face.

 

 

“No, no. Don’t be. It’s not your fault, it’s me. I’m a bit introverted that’s why I felt uncomfortable whenever you initiate a skin contact. I’m just not used to it. For you it may seem mundane since you’re from America and all, they probably do a lot of touching. I just-I need more time to adjust to you, okay? I’m willing to open up and give this friendship thing with you another try. That is if you don’t mind bearing with me and my introverted self I would like to start over again. As friends?”

 

 

Jessica couldn’t suppress her overflowing emotions. She was ecstatic. A wide smile quickly donned her face.

 

 

“Of course! Thank you so much! Thank you! Thank you!”

 

 

Overwhelmed by her happiness, she accidentally jumped onto Taeyeon, startling the older girl, and pulling her into an unintended hug.

 

 

Taeyeon froze like a statue from the sudden bodily contact.

 

 

It wasn’t long before Jessica felt the unmoving Taeyeon beneath her and the implications of her action. Realizing her mistake, Jessica quickly pulled away and bowed profusely at Taeyeon. “Oh my god I’m so sorry!”

 

 

Taeyeon cracked an awkward smile. “Uh, it’s fine.”

 

 

Jessica could tell Taeyeon wasn’t fine at all so she took a step back to create a safe distance that’ll make Taeyeon feel more comfortable and bowed a couple more times while she murmured an ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again.

 

 

Taeyeon blinked as she watched the girl bow nonstop. As she continued to stare, a genuine smile slowly made it on her face.

 

 

Maybe she isn’t that bad after all.

 

 

======

 

 

It didn’t take long before Taeyeon and Jessica became friends.

 

 

It was a challenge to Jessica at first because Taeyeon was still wary of her presence. Hence, it wasn’t a surprise when Taeyeon built a wall between them during their first few interactions. Every time Jessica would try to get close to Taeyeon, Taeyeon would ward her off or close herself off from Jessica. It hurt her of course. Jessica didn’t like that Taeyeon was acting like a stranger around her, but nonetheless, she found it very intriguing and endearing at the same time. It reminded her of how Taeyeon was like when they first met five years ago. Coincidentally, Sooyoung was the one who introduced her to Taeyeon as well.

 

 

When she first met Taeyeon she was very shy and very cautious of everyone around her. She was only open to a few people who were close to her. But it’s not like she does that on purpose. It’s just in her nature to be like that in front of new people. Jessica can’t blame her though. Friends and family have left her left and right since she was still a small child, therefore, she doesn’t like getting too close to people, afraid that they might leave her just like everyone else in her life. It took Jessica almost an entire year to fully breakdown Taeyeon’s wall and win over her friendship, but it eventually happened and it was worth it.

 

 

She had to go through the same experience with this new Taeyeon. However, this time around, since Jessica already knew Taeyeon inside and out, it didn’t take her that long to woo Taeyeon’s friendship over as in the past. It took some perseverance, a little bit of persuasion, and a tinge bit of annoyance to get Taeyeon to open up to her, but once she did, their relationship blossomed swiftly.

 

 

It was two in the afternoon and Jessica, Sooyoung, and Tiffany went to visit Taeyeon at her apartment. The four of them sat by the living area, chatting over the sandwiches and juices Taeyeon had prepared for them. Most of the time it was only Taeyeon and Jessica conversing. Sooyoung and Tiffany weren’t bothered at all that the two ignored them most of the time, instead, they were glad of how well the two took off.

 

 

Sooyoung had her reservations when it came to Jessica’s story of how Taeyeon and her were supposedly married. However, seeing the seamless chemistry between the two while they conversed and interacted with each other, Sooyoung’s doubts were eventually casted aside. The same went for Tiffany. Perhaps what Jessica told them a couple of days ago were the truth, that they were really a married couple? It wasn’t impossible from the overflowing positive energy between the two.

 

 

“You’re a really interesting person Jessica.” Taeyeon commented.

 

 

“I’m really not that interesting compared to you, trust me. According to my friends I’m quite boring to hang out with.”

 

 

“Ah, well I guess they just don’t know you well enough then. In my opinion, you’re a very intriguing person, Jessica.” Taeyeon said smiling, showing her dimples.

 

 

Jessica’s cheeks turned light pink from the compliment. “T-thank you.” She said shyly as she tried to hide her blushed cheeks behind the glass of mango juice that she quickly devoured in a hurry.

 

 

Taeyeon grinned, amused by Jessica’s flustered reaction. She found that Jessica tend to get very flustered every time she compliments her. She found it rather endearing and quite cute. That’s why she can’t help but tease the girl every chance she gets. Though she teases her a lot by showering her compliments, all her compliments are genuine.

 

 

Out of nowhere, the phone started ringing. Taeyeon excused herself and went to pick it up.

 

 

Sooyoung used this opportunity to cousin.

 

 

“Wow, could you get any more obvious?” Sooyoung jibed, nudging her cousin on the side.

 

 

Jessica gave her glare and a punch on the arm.

 

 

“Ow! I was just kidding!” Sooyoung hissed in pain.

 

 

“But seriously, you two really look like a couple. Perhaps Taeyeon is starting to remember?” Tiffany suggested as she rubbed Sooyoung’s arm comfortingly.

 

 

“You think so?” Jessica asked hopefully.

 

 

Tiffany nodded.

 

 

Jessica peeked towards Taeyeon’s direction who was grinning from ear to ear. At that moment, their gazes met. Jessica’s cheeks turned pink, embarrassed that Taeyeon caught her staring.

 

 

Taeyeon didn’t seem to care and flashed her a smile instead. Jessica smiled back in return.

 

 

Seeing Taeyeon laugh and smile brought warmth to Jessica’s heart.

 

 

She knows Taeyeon didn’t mean it when she laid a hand on her. It was her fault. She instigated the fight. If only she didn’t provoke Taeyeon and said those hurtful words about their daughter, it wouldn’t have escalated to that. Not only that, for the past couple of months she has been very inconsiderate towards her family; burying herself with work and neglecting her family was very selfish of her. She realizes this now. She also realized how much she misses her family. She really wishes she could go back in time, redo her wrongdoings, and make it up to her family. Only if she had the power to do that, she would. She’d go back in time and love her family right.

 

 

I’m sorry Taeyeon. I’m sorry Krystal.

 

 

Minutes later, Taeyeon hung up the phone call and strolled back into the living room with a radiant smile on her face that didn’t fail notice by everyone in the room.

 

 

Jessica’s face brightened tremendously upon Taeyeon’s return. She wondered whether the smile on Taeyeon’s face was because of her.

 

 

Sooyoung was wondering the same thing. “Oooh, who brought that smile on your face?”

 

 

As if her smile couldn’t get any brighter, her smile widened tenfold from Sooyoung’s question.

 

 

“Ah, Junsu called! He said he’d be back early this week for the last minute preparation for the wedding! I can’t wait to see him again! I miss him so much!” Taeyeon said longingly and with so much love.

 

 

At that moment, the smile on Jessica’s face dropped instantly and her heart shattered into tiny little pieces.

 

 

Reality just hit her like a ten wheeler truck.

 

 

 ======

 

 

Friendship wasn’t the only thing that bloomed during their getting-to-know phase. Eventually, Jessica fell in love with Taeyeon all over again; from Taeyeon’s comical self, to her compassionate attitude, to her passion for art, Jessica fell in love with all of that is Taeyeon. And when she thought she couldn’t fall deeper into her, she did. What she feels for Taeyeon right now is something she has never felt for anyone before, not even when Jessica was married to Taeyeon. One must be wondering how that is possible. Well, it’s only now that Jessica realized how much she took Taeyeon for granted and how much she missed out on many things because of it.

 

 

Why did she only realize this now? Why couldn’t she have realized this sooner? If she discovered this long ago then they wouldn’t have a fallout. She’s so stupid.

 

 

I’m so stupid.

 

 

“Sica are you alright?” Taeyeon asked concernedly when she noticed her friend spacing out for such a long period of time.

 

 

Jessica snapped out of her daze and smiled at Taeyeon.

 

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking.”

 

 

“Of what? If you don’t mind me asking.”

 

 

“Nothing you should be worried about.” Jessica smiled again.

 

 

Despite the reassurance, Taeyeon still had a doubtful expression on her face.

 

 

“Seriously. It’s nothing, Taengoo.” Jessica reassured her one last time, patting her on the hand.

 

 

Taeyeon merely smiled and dropped the topic at that.

 

 

======

 

 

“Taengoo, where are we going?” Jessica finally asked after being inside the train for almost an hour now.

 

 

Taeyeon dropped by this morning unannounced asking if she’d like to accompany her somewhere. Jessica didn’t think weird of the suggestion and agreed immediately because Taeyeon had been asking her out to accompany her to different places for the past couple of days. She thought it would be the same. But this is the first time she had taken her somewhere far from the city.

 

 

Taeyeon glanced at her and smiled. “It’s a secret.”

 

 

Jessica pursed her lips and pouted in response.

 

 

Taeyeon chortled upon seeing the adorable discontentment on Jessica’s face.

 

 

“I promise it’s not anywhere bad, unless of course you’re not fond of rowdiness.”

 

 

This made Jessica even more curious than before. Where is Taeyeon taking her? To a carnival? Nah, there’s no carnivals around this time of the year. Perhaps the beach? It is quite hot today.

 

 

Jessica felt a pat on her hand. She looked towards Taeyeon who was still smiling.

 

 

“We’ll be there soon.”

 

 

Jessica could only nod and wait patiently.

 

 

======

 

 

After another half hour, the two finally dismounted the train.

 

 

They rode a taxi towards their destination.

 

 

After ten minutes of driving, the taxi parked in front of a bungalow. The house looked aged, like it had been there for years.

Taeyeon noticed the confused look on Jessica’s face so she quickly explained.

 

 

“Remember I told you that I was abandoned by my parents?”

 

 

Jessica nodded.

 

 

“Well, this is where I grew up. This is my home.”

 

 

“You mean…?”

 

 

“Yes. This is an orphanage.”

 

 

Jessica blinked.

 

 

She knew Taeyeon was abandoned by her parents when she was just six. She had told her stories about her life in the orphanage she grew up in, but never, during their dating days or married days did Taeyeon ever brought her to the said orphanage. That’s why she was stunned. This Taeyeon in this universe actually brought her here. Her home.

 

 

“Sorry. Did I make you feel uncomfortable by bringing you here? I know not a lot of people are not fond of the orphanage especially because they don’t like the rowdy children. If you’re not comfortable we could just go somewhere else—”

 

 

“No! I-I mean, no, it’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t feel uncomfortable at all. I just remembered something, is all. Shall we go in?” Jessica opened her palms towards Taeyeon.

 

 

Taeyeon smiled and placed her palm in Jessica’s open ones.

 

 

Hand in hand, the two friends entered the foyer.

 

 

======

 

 

“Taeyeon-ah!” An elderly woman engulfed Taeyeon into a warm hug.

 

 

“Hi Nana.” Taeyeon hugged back with equal love.

 

 

After a while, the two pulled away from the hug. With Taeyeon still holding onto her Nana’s hand, she turned to Jessica and took her by the hand with her free one.

 

 

“Nana, I would like you to meet one of my friends, Jessica. Jessica, this is my Nana. She’s the caretaker of the orphanage and the person I consider my own mother.”

 

 

“Hi. Nice to meet you.” Jessica held out her hand politely for a handshake.

 

 

To her surprise, however, the woman disregarded her handshake and pulled her into a hug instead.

 

 

“It’s nice to meet you too dear!”

 

 

Jessica was stunned at first but she soon melted into the heartwarming hug and reciprocated the gesture.

 

 

When the two pulled away, the elder woman turned her attention to Taeyeon.

 

 

“What brings you here today sweetie? Came to visit your little girl?”

 

 

“Yes. I would like to introduce her to my friend here.” Taeyeon said glancing at Jessica.

 

 

The elder woman noticed the gesture and couldn’t help but smile at that.

 

 

Jessica tilted her head to the side in confusion. Meet whom? She wondered.

 

 

“I see. Well, she’s at the back playing along with the other munchkins. Be careful though. The kids have been playing outside for about an hour and they’re probably covered in dirt and sweat by now. You better keep a close eye on them. I don’t want them jumping all over your special guest and scaring her away.”

 

 

Taeyeon chuckled. “Don’t worry, Nana, I won’t let anything happen to Jessica.” She then turned to Jessica. “Shall we?”

 

 

Jessica smiled and nodded.

 

 

The two temporarily bid Nana goodbye. Still hand and hand, they made their way towards the back of the house where the sound of little kids playing around and a chorus of laughing can be heard.

 

 

Taeyeon opened the door to the backyard.

 

 

As soon as they stepped out, all eyes immediately landed on them.

 

 

“Taeyeon-noona!” One of the children yelled out.

 

 

Soon the kids began rampaging towards their direction.

 

 

Taeyeon was quick on her feet. In order to prevent the kids from crushing Jessica, Taeyeon quickly let go of Jessica’s hand and walked towards the kids to meet them half way. She opened her arms wide, welcoming the kids into a gigantic group hug.

 

 

A series of ‘unnie’ and ‘noona’ could be heard emitting from each of the little children as they greeted the older woman while Taeyeon ruffled and pinched their little cheeks. Once everyone finished with their greetings, the children went back to what they were doing previously, except for one girl. Taeyeon kneeled down so that she was eye level with the child. The two started chatting.

 

 

This is when Jessica finally decided to step in.

 

 

“Hara, do you know where she is?”

 

 

“Yes, unnie. She’s over by the slide.”

 

 

“She’s hiding there again, huh?”

 

 

The little girl nodded. Hara’s eyes then shifted to the stranger behind her unnie. When she made eye contact with Jessica, Jessica flashed her a smile.  Hara leaned down and whispered in Taeyeon’s ear.

 

 

“Unnie? Who’s the pretty unnie behind you?”

 

 

As Taeyeon turned around, a smile quickly spread across her face. She stood up and held the younger girl by the hand before gently pulling her over towards the other unnie.

 

 

“Hara, say hi to Jessica unnie. She is Taeyeon unnie’s close friend.”

 

 

“Hello.” Little Hara waved shyly.

 

 

Jessica smiled and waved back. “Hi, I’m Jessica. Nice to meet you.”

 

 

“Nice to meet you too unnie.” The girl smiled a bright smile.

 

 

A group of little girls then called Hara over to come back and play with them. Taeyeon released Hara’s hand and the two unnies bid her goodbye.

 

 

Once she was gone, Jessica walked beside Taeyeon remembering what she had said to her Nana not too long ago about a little girl she’d like for her to meet.

 

 

“So. Who is this kid that you wanted me to meet?” Jessica asked as she casually linked her arms with Taeyeon’s.

 

 

Unfortunately, Taeyeon was still a little iffy about the close proximity, so she casually slid Jessica’s arm off hers and held her hand instead.

 

 

“She’s over there. Come.”

 

 

The two made their way towards the other side of the backyard where the playground was. They stopped just in front of the red hooded slide. They noticed a small pink shoe peeking out from under the hood and Taeyeon knew immediately whom that shoe belonged too.

 

 

Taeyeon unlinked her arm from Jessica’s and stepped closer to the slide. She placed her hand on top of the hood and bent over towards the mouth of the slide.

 

 

“Sweetie? Are you in there? It’s me, Tae Tae. Would you please come out and greet me? There’s someone special I’d like for you to meet.”

 

 

Shuffling was heard from inside the slide. The shoe disappeared under the hood and a round of squeaking sound emitted from inside the slide, probably made by the little girl’s shoes.

 

 

Taeyeon crouched at the level of the opening to catch the child descending from under the slide. With her arms wide open, a little girl with long raven hair cascading over her shoulders came sliding out of the slide into Taeyeon’s welcoming arms.

 

 

Jessica’s breath got caught in and an intake of breath managed to escape her trembling lips as she recognized the little girl. She couldn’t believe it. Of all the children it could have been, it had to be her.

 

 

Taeyeon and the girl continued to hug. The younger girl was the first one to pull away from the hug, her arms still wrapped around Taeyeon’s neck. The little girl tilted her head to the side when she noticed another woman standing behind her unnie. She poked Taeyeon on the cheek and pointed behind her as if asking her who the woman was without saying it verbally.

 

 

Taeyeon looked over her shoulder and smiled.

 

 

Jessica was standing a safe distance away from the two so Taeyeon stood up and held her hand out towards Jessica. Jessica accepted the hand. With trepidation, she made her way closer to the two girls as Taeyeon guided her along closer to them. Once Jessica was standing next to her, she began the much anticipated introduction.

 

 

“Krystal, this is my close friend Jessica unnie. Jessica, this is my daughter, Krystal.”

 

 

Time seemed to have stopped for Jessica. Wind of emotion whirled within her heart in an instant as memories of her past with her own daughter surged throughout her entire body. As her heart dampened with painful feelings of her past, her body started to shake, her eyes began to glisten from the tears that were quickly filling up her eyes, and her lips began to quiver uncontrollably from the overflowing emotions she felt. Before she knew it, a tear had slid down her cheek.

 

 

Taeyeon was stunned. This wasn’t the reaction she was expecting from Jessica. She was expecting her to be confused, angry, upset, uncomfortable, happy, delighted...but crying? Nope, this wasn’t even on her list.

 

 

“S-Sica? Are you alright?” Taeyeon asked worriedly as more tears started to fall from Jessica’s eyes.

 

 

Jessica ignored Taeyeon’s concerned pleas. Instead, she took a step forward, then another, and another until she was finally standing before the little girl. The girl looked up at her with curious eyes, wondering who the crying stranger was. Crouching down on both knees, Jessica went down to the girl’s eye level. Krystal blinked, but remained quiet. So did Jessica.

 

 

The two said nothing and just stared at each other for a long while until the little girl finally made the first move. Surprisingly enough, the little girl took a step forward towards Jessica, who automatically opened her arms, wrapped them around the little girl’s form, and pulled her into her arms in a tight embrace. She buried her face in the little girl’s chest and secured her arms protectively around the little girl's tiny waist. The little girl didn’t protest at all, instead she reciprocated the gesture and wrapped her short arms around Jessica’s neck and laid the side of her head on Jessica’s shoulder.

 

 

Jessica and the little girl held each other while Taeyeon stood idle by the side, confused and shocked by what was happening before her.

 

 

Immense emotion soon consumed Jessica as the agonizing nostalgia hit her once more. Muffled sobs were soon heard from Jessica as she began crying in the little girls arms. Her shoulder shook as she cried her heart’s desire.

 

 

The little girl didn’t say anything nor did she do anything drastic. Carefully, she brought her small palm towards Jessica’s hair and gently threaded her dainty fingers through the stranger’s locks, her hair in a comforting manner as mother would comfort her child, except in this case, it was the opposite. It was such a sight to see.

 

 

The two stayed like that for another long while, probing eyes from both Taeyeon and the other children in the backyard looked on at the odd scene the they were witnessing.

 

 

Soon, the two gradually broke away.

 

 

Tears stained Jessica’s cheeks with her eyes still glossy and red from the incessant crying.

 

 

The little girl offered her a gentle smile which warmed Jessica’s heart completely. The girl brought her fingers to Jessica’s face and began wiping away the lingering tears with her fingertips.

 

 

Jessica just kept mum the entire process and just stared at the face of the person she missed the most.

 

 

After the girl was done, the little girl rested her small palms on either side of Jessica’s shoulders and tilted her head to the side, a gesture Jessica often did whenever she was confused or questioning something. She noticed that her own daughter, Krystal, would often imitate her gesture, that’s why she found this girl’s gesture very amusing and heartwarming as well.

 

 

“Unnie.” The girl said in a small voice.

 

 

“Why are you cwying?”

 

 

Her innocence and genuine concern for her elicited a gentle smile from Jessica.

 

 

“Unnie is crying b-because she-she misses her daughter.” Jessica said in a trembling voice.

 

 

Krystal continued to Jessica's hair with her fingers. “Is it because of Kwystal? Did Kwystal remind you of your dawrrer?”

 

 

Jessica bit her lip and fought hard not to break down upon the little girl’s inquiry. “A-a little bit. You reminded me of her a little because…” She looked at the girl’s face and the girl’s dark locks with her right hand. “B-because you look just like my little angel.” Jessica’s eyes began tearing again. "Because you look exactly like my daughter..." Her gaze fell as she choked in a sob. She clamped a hand over and lowered her head to hide her face from Krystal's inquiring gaze. Her shoulders began shaking again as her tears resumed.

 

 

The little girl became concerned and bent down in search of Jessica’s eyes.

 

 

“Unnie.” She frowned when she saw the tears flowing down Jessica’s cheeks again. “I’m sowwy.”

 

 

Hearing the apology, Jessica looked up and met the little girl’s trembling gaze. The little girl, too, was becoming teary-eyed just like her.

 

 

Jessica quickly shook her head. “No. Don’t be sorry, sweeite. I-it’s not a bad thing that you reminded me of her." Jessica said as she the girl's reddened cheek. "On the contrary, I-I’m glad that you did. Thank you for reminding me of her.” She said, smiling a sincere smile.

 

 

Delighted, the little girl smiled brightly and hugged Jessica once more.

 

 

 ======

 

 

The train ride back home was spent in silence.

 

 

Jessica was too lost in the thought of her daughter to pay attention to anything, while Taeyeon was too reluctant to say anything, afraid that it might only cause the latter to cry again. Plus, she doesn’t feel that she should impose on Jessica's private life and probe on a subject that was deep and personal. Though they are closer than they’ve been since they met, she still feel some reservations when it comes to Jessica.

 

 

Taeyeon was awoken from her thoughts when she felt a weight on her shoulder. She looked down and was surprised to see locks of brown hair in her line of vision.

 

 

Jessica had rested her head on her shoulder.

 

 

Taeyeon stiffened.

 

 

No matter how close Jessica and her have been in the past few days, she still feels awkward being intimate with the latter. As far as skin contacts go, the farthest she could do for he girl was hold hands. And even for her, that's a lot already.

 

 

She was about to politely ask Jessica to remove her head from her shoulder when suddenly, she felt her shirt become damp.

 

 

Taeyeon’s eyes widened.

 

 

I-Is she crying?

 

 

Her question was answered when she heard a sniffle beneath her.

 

 

For some odd reason, her heart tightened upon hearing that painful sound come from Jessica.

 

 

Taeyeon gulped.

 

 

She wanted to do something to console Jessica, like hug her, her arm, or just wrap an arm around her, or anything that a normal human being would do in a situation like this. However, she couldn’t do anything for she was too reticent to do so. She berated herself for being too timid. It has always restrained her from doing what she thought was right and she always end up disappointed in herself.

 

 

Again, she was awoken by the sudden movement beneath her. She felt something drape over her torso and clutch the side of her shirt. She looked down once more and found that Jessica had furthered eased herself into her body, her face now buried in her neck instead of her shoulder and Jessica’s chest pressed against her arm.

 

 

Heat rose on Taeyeon’s cheeks. She was stunned. No. Petrified to be exact. Jessica was too close for comfort.

 

 

 

She almost shrieked when felt Jessica's warm breath brush upon her bare skin.

 

 

By this time, she was already blushing madly. Taeyeon was thankful Jessica wasn't paying much attention to her because if the latter saw her flustered state, Taeyeon would be very embarrassed. 

 

 

Her heart started speeding up.

 

 

She felt her whole body heat up from the intimate position she and Jessica were engaged in.

 

 

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale--

 

 

Her shock soon dissipated when she felt dampness on her neck.

 

 

And just like that, her heart dropped as quickly as it sped up.

 

 

But still, as much as she wanted to do something for the girl, she didn’t do anything. She didn’t console the girl with any gestures nor did she pry Jessica’s body away from her. She just let the girl do whatever it was she felt like doing to her body that made her comfortable. May it be hug her, cry on her shirt, or rest her head on her shoulder, she didn’t’ mind. For the first time in Taeyeon’s life, she was lending someone a crying shoulder…literally.

 

 

Oddly enough, she didn’t hate it nor did she felt awkward inside while Jessica slept soundly on her shoulder for the rest of the ride. Instead, she actually kind of…liked it. It made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Like there was a small cloud flying inside her body, tingling every bone, every senses in her body. It…felt nice. And to be honest? She doesn’t want it to ever go away.

 

 

But of course she’ll never admit that out loud; especially not to Jessica or Sooyoung or Tiffany. Not to anyone but herself. It’s her own little secret.

 

 

She stayed frozen in her position like that throughout the rest of the train ride, a small smile playing on her lips the entire time.

 

 

 

======

 

When they reached home, Taeyeon insisted to walk Jessica home despite Jessica’s protests. She was worried of Jessica’s safety for the girl hasn’t been herself since their trip to the orphanage. She feels partly responsible for getting Jessica to become like this. She was the one who brought her to the orphanage in the first place.

 

 

The first few minutes of their walk was spent in silence. Taeyeon was still having her inner conflict of what to say to comfort Jessica, while Jessica was still in daze about the earlier events.

 

 

After much thought, Taeyeon finally decided to speak what was on her mind.

 

 

“S-Sica?”

 

 

Jessica snapped from her daze and turned to Taeyeon.

 

 

“Hm?”

 

 

Taeyeon fidgeted with the hem of her shirt nervously.

 

 

“Uh…about this afternoon…a-are you okay?”

 

 

 Jessica gave a nod. “I’m fine.”

 

 

“A-are you sure? You didn’t seem fine a while ago. You were crying in your sleep too…”

 

 

A small smile made it to Jessica’s face upon hearing the worry in Taeyeon’s voice. At first, she was just lying about being fine for she didn’t want to worry Taeyeon, but hearing Taeyeon’s genuine concern for her significantly lifted her spirits up. She truly feels better now.

 

 

“Taeyeon, I’m fine. Thank you for the concern.”

 

 

Taeyeon frowned. Somehow, Jessica’s reassurance didn’t suppress her worry.

 

 

Without thinking, she stopped walking.

 

 

Jessica was startled but stopped as well. She turned around and flashed Taeyeon a questioning gaze.

 

 

“Is something the matter?”

 

 

Taeyeon’s gaze lowered to the floor. She didn’t like that Jessica wasn’t being honest about her feelings with her. For some reason, it hurt knowing Jessica didn’t trust her enough to lean on her.

 

 

“Sica. You don’t have to lie to me.” Taeyeon let out in a painfully small voice, which Jessica almost didn’t catch.

 

 

“I-I know you’re still hurting inside so you don’t have to hide it from me. I’m not dense, you know.” She said bitterly.

 

 

Jessica frowned.

 

 

“I-I don’t know what triggered the pain, nor do I know how to make it go away, but what I do know is that you’re not fine. I may not seem like the most reliable person to turn to for problems, but I’m still here and I-I'm willing to help in anyway I can so don't push me away. Lean on me.”

 

 

“Taeyeon…”

 

 

Jessica was touched. She can trully feel the sincerity in Taeyeon’s every word.

 

 

Taeyeon’s palm started to sweat. She doesn’t exactly know why, but she was nervous as hell.

 

 

“Y-you don’t have to explain to me why you were crying earlier, and why you’re hurting either. Y-you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. I won’t force you if you’re not willing to share. That’s not the kind of person I am. You know that.

 

 

“But even so. Even so, I’m still willing to help in any way I can. Let me help you, Jessica. It might not seem like I was willing to help earlier, but that’s only because I don’t know how to help you. Lame, I know. But all my life I never had to console anyone but myself. I closed myself off from the entire world for reasons you already know about. T-that-that’s why I’m still lacking in that department. But—

 

 

“But just because I don’t know how, doesn’t mean I don’t want to learn.”

 

 

Her heart started racing.

 

 

“S-Sica, I’m willing to learn. F-for you I’m willing to learn how to be compassionate. To be caring. To be a good friend. And most importantly...to be a better person. I want to learn b-because—”

 

 

Taeyeon bit her lip and shut her eyes tight.

 

 

Why? Why does she want to help Jessica so bad? What is the reason for her strong inclination to help someone whom she befriended only a couple of days ago?

 

 

“B-because—”

 

 

She knows the reason why, but it was difficult for her to admit it. Very, very difficult.

 

 

With her eyes still closed, she took a deep breath.

 

 

“B-because I care for you.”

 

 

Her whole body exhaled in relief.

 

 

There she said it.

 

 

“B-because you’re an important person…to me…”

 

 

Yes. Yes she is.

 

 

After her confession, silence permeated the air.

 

 

Jessica didn’t say anything and this scared Taeyeon tremendously.

 

 

She was afraid that she might have frightened Jessica with her appalling words.

 

 

If it were her and some random girl she befriended not too long ago said those things to her, she’d be scared as hell as well. That’s why she wouldn’t blame Jessica if she resented her after this. But it would really hurt a ton if she did though.

 

 

With much trepidation, Taeyeon slowly opened her eyes.

 

 

Instead of anger and resentment, to her surprise, she was met with a teary-eyed Jessica staring back at her.

 

 

Taeyeon panicked.

 

 

“I-uh- I mean-I-you…you’re an important f-friend. To-uh me. A very…important friend—you are…” It disheartened Taeyeon a bit to say that.

 

 

“So please. Please help me help you. I…I don’t like seeing you cry.” This only made Jessica cry harder. “Omo. I-I’m sorry! P-please don’t cry! It doesn’t suit you at all!”

 

 

Taeyeon’s eyes widened like saucers when she realized what she just said.

 

 

“I-I mean, you look prettier when you’re not crying. N-not that you don’t look pretty crying, b-because you totally do, it’s just…”

 

 

Feeling that she was just rumbling on, she shut and gulped. Her heart was beating out of control now and she can't seem to calm it.

 

 

Placing a hand over her chest, she stared straight through Jessica’s eyes.

 

 

“What I’m trying to say is…I know it may seem weird for me to be saying all of this and it may seem out of character of me to be this-this caring about another human being, but—but know that I’m being sincere.

 

 

"I want to help you Jessica. I really do. I-”

 

 

Before Taeyeon could say another word, Jessica cupped Taeyeon’s cheek with both hands and kissed her.

 

 

End of Part 3

 

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A/N: Sorry everyone for the long wait! But I'm finally done with finals! Yay! Anyway, I lied. There's a part 4! I thought I was going to be able to fit everything in this part, but I guessed wrong. Tell me what you guys think so far! 

 

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