Arranged Divorce #15
[►]Arranged divorce - Keep you with me ••
Sorry if it took so long....
He slowly turned to her and reached for the hand that was still tagging his shirt. He held it tightly and without saying anything they lay down next to each other. If only the two of them could talk about what has happened. If only they could ask the questions they were so afraid to let out. They were scared, scared to death to hear each other's answers..
Why would I be with her? - she repeated in her head. What did he mean by that? Aren't you still with her?
Why were you with Kai? What's going on and since when has it been going on? What am I to you and what those days we happily spent together were to you? Was everything a lie to you?
Maybe if they discussed about that they could've later on say out what they were keeping for themselves.
I'm pregnant..
I broke up with Krystal..
Taemin gasped when he suddenly felt Jiyoung getting on top of him. What.. He blinked seeing her determined eyes staring at him. He swallowed " Ji-Jiyoung.. " don't.. She took off her shirt.
Oh my.. don't.. She slowly leaned down and pecked his lips. His eyes unconsciously closed. How much I missed your lips..
But the thought of her and Kai popped up in his head. He turned to the side " I.. I can't.. " he forced out.
Jiyoung made him face her again " .. " she gave him a reassuring smile " I didn't kiss him.. I didn't do anything with him. If that's what you're thinking " chaught. He thought.
You didn't, really? A sigh in relief escaped his lips then Jiyoung kissed him and he responded " We sh-shouldn't.. " he still tried to resist when he felt her getting rid of his shirt " We can't.. " he shook his head but Jiyoung ignored him and forcefully took it off before throwing it on the floor.
" Let's put everything aside " she whispered " just for tonight.. " she planted soft kisses on his lips, on his jawline, on his chest and Taemin could only enjoy all of that while his pants got tighter. She was teasing him too much even moving her hips on him driving him insane. With a swift move he shifted their positions and for that night Jiyoung was his and his only again.
He stared at her beautiful feautures lightened by the moonlight coming from the window. He caressed her face then went down to caress her arm. Her skin was so fair and smooth. He pulled her back against his chest to smell the sweet scent of her hair. He loved it.. just like he loved every single thing of her.
But did she ever love him? Did she love him? Or was he something that she got used to? Was it lust? She has never asked him to leave Krystal, she has never complained about him being with Krystal, she has never told him that she loved him. There were so many never that could only make his insecurities grow stronger.
It was sad if she didn't love him but it was sadder the thought of her being forced to be with him, to be in that marriage. Wasn't it selfish of him to keep her if she didn't want to? Didn't she deserve to do what she wanted to do? Didn't she deserve to be happy? Didn't she deserve to be with someone she truly loved?
And to all those questions as much as it hurt him his answer was " Yes.. " his grip on her got tighter.
He swallowed the pain and his pride before losing his grip on her. He heaved out a deep sigh and dressed up himself. There were so many thoughts in his mind.
Was it right or was it wrong what he was planning? He walked to the drawer and looked for a pen and a piece of paper to write down his feelings for her. Feelings that he was leaving once and for all.
Lee Taemin has fallen for his wife, Kang Jiyoung, more than anyone could've ever expected. He loved her too much that it hurt. He loved her too much that he was ready to give up on her if that meant giving her happiness. Her happiness was his priority. Her happiness was his happiness.
As he placed his letter on the pillow he planted one last kiss on her head before finally walking out.
cCcCc
The morning after when Jiyoung read the letter she cried another litre of tears. Taemin once again opened his heart to her but this time maybe it was because he didn't have to say it out and face her but he poured his feelings showing his weak, vulnerable side. She could feel the care, the love, the passion her husband had for her. She realized how much she really meant for him and also how much her actions and carelessness let him down.
If she thought that she couldn't feel any more worse after the talk with their parents she was wrong because now she was feeling the worst " Why.. " she asked him but she was also asking herself. She read the part when he was telling her sorry for not saying it earlier but she has been his one and only girl for a long time. Maybe physically he still spent time with Krystal but his heart and his mind were always with her.
And where was she? She was with Kai.. she had lunch with him, she hang out with him and kept in touch with him without Taemin knowing. Kai dropped at their place, they ate together, watched movies together without Taemin knowing.
When Taemin was giving his all to show her how much he changed and to prove how things were going to get better she lied to him with his bestfriend.. at their own house.. " Why.. "
Why are you still so nice to me?
Taemin wasn't scolding her.. he wasn't blaming her in that letter. He opened his feelings, his love for her but he also talked about the sadness he felt. He was sad because his love wasn't enough for her to love him back. He was sad because she had someone else to love.
Kai.
Only then the image of Kai appeared in her mind. Where was he? What was he doing? The last time she saw him was when Taemin caught them in the kitchen and they were about to kiss.
She suddenly recalled how strongly she has pushed him when Taemin arrived. She didn't hear anything from him after that. Or better she ignored him. He called her, he texted her but she ignored all of that. She was busy crying for Taemin and the final ending of their marriage.
" Sh*t.. " she muttered. She wiped her tears and checked her phone. There were other unread messages and missed calls.
Sorry.. she shook her head.
She treated Kai so badly and she didn't even know it. He was there, he was always protecting, supporting, cheering her and she took that all for granted. She should've known where their friendship was leading to, she should've noticed and eventually stopped it. Didn't she really notice or was she simply in denial?
She was feeling like the worst person on earth. She felt way worse than the old Taemin. The old Taemin acknowledged his mistakes, he apologized and made up for them. While all this time she has only thought about herself.
She acted so selfish only worrying about protecting herself and not to get hurt anymore. She didn't think about how hard it was for the two guys that were longing for her to look at them and to love them the same way they did to her. A bitter smile curved on her face. You're really the worst, Jiyoung.
cCcCc
There she was standing at his door. She has been there for a good 10 minutes wondering with what face to show herself to him after the way she treated him. She clenched her hand into a fist and rang the bell with the other one.
" H-hey " she said weakily when he opened the door. He gasped not expecting her there.
It was the first time for Jiyoung to go to his place. It was always him going to her. He would've lied if he said that he wasn't happy to see her. He missed her.. he kept quiet waiting for her to break the silence but when he saw her keeping shut he just opened the door wider giving her way in.
Jiyoung didn't know where to start. She felt relieved when he let her in because that proved that if ever he was mad at her, he wasn't mad enough not to let her enter in his place. Jiyoung followed him in the kitchen where it seemed that he was preparing his lunch " Did you eat? " he asked and she shook her head.
He grabbed another plate and prepared everything for two. Jiyoung watched him quietly as she wondered how Kai could be so nice after all and there the image of Taemin appeared in her mind. Taemin was nice to her despite everything she did to him too. She had to consider herself lucky for having such great guys by her side. She was really lucky, it was an undeserved luck though because she didn't know how to treassure it. She rested her chin on her hand as she released a deep sigh.
I messed up badly.. she thought.
Kai took quick glances at her while they were eating. He could see her being immersed in such a deep thought making him wonder what could linger in her mind. Could that be Taemin? Taemin.. the guy he knew since forever, his bestfriend, his brother for whom he was dead by now.
He couldn't blame him though, it was disrespectful on his part to fall for Jiyoung. Despite everything, the bad things he did to her in the past, the sadness and pain he put her though, he shouldn't have let himself fall for her.
What could he do?
He couldn't control something like that.
How could he control his heart?
He could swear that he tried at first. He told himself many times to keep distance from his bestfriend wife, it was wrong, it was just wrong.
Would it be bad to say that he didn't regret anything? He was blinded, maybe, or he was simply in love. He couldn't regret loving the most beautiful girl in his eyes because that was what Jiyoung was for him.
What was him for Jiyoung? He wondered.
Before what has happened that morning with Taemin, he thought that their feelings were mutual but when she pushed him away and asked him to leave her alone with Taemin, he realized that he could be wrong, especially when she ignored his messages and calls the days after, yet there she was now having lunch with him.
Could it be that Taemin and her fought and she needed someone to talk to? What has happened between them? Did she tell him that she's pregnant? A lot of questions were popping out his head but he couldn't blurt them out because he wanted to hear from her first what she came for.
He got the answer..
.... when he felt her arms hugging him from behind. He tensed at the unexpected contact " I'm sorry " she said almost whispering. I'm sorry for everything, there's a long list of the things you did for me that I don't know where to start and a day wouldn't probably be enough for me to say all of them.
Kai slowly turned without losing her grip on him " Is that what you came for? " she nodded and dropped her arms on her sides. She was quite caught off-guard by his flat tone.
" Is that all you have to say? " with the same tone.
Jiyoung looked down her feet and nodded again. She looked cute being all pouty. Kai smirked and lifted her chin to make her look at him " I thought you would prepare an event or a proper speech, at least? " he joked.
Even though realistically speaking he deserved them all. He has been too good to her that she could've put some effort in her apology. Kai didn't mind though. Hearing her saying it quite sincerly was enough for him already.
" It's over.. "
He raised his brow questioning if she meant what he was thinking and she nodded " We already talked to our parents "
" How are you? " was the first thing he asked her.
Once again Kai proved how much he cared about her. Her well-being, her happiness was his priority. How was it possible for her to get two of the most awesome guys on earth? Just how.. they were really the best.
" I'm good "
Good. Only then the thought of a possibility for him, for them came through his mind. Between them, it was over. She said she was good. Now that Taemin knew everything there was no point in hiding his feelings or his wish to have her for him. There was only one question left.
" Do you love him? " he asked lowly yet firmly.
He had to admit that he was quite afraid to hear the answer in that moment. He almost felt like covering his ears or running away which was objectively quite stupid and embarrassing for someone his age but he was really afraid. What if she loved him? What..
" I love him "
He froze. How was he supposed to react to that? He wondered. So you came here only to apologize.
Jiyoung loved Taemin. They've been married for more than two years, they've been through a lot together. He was the person who knew her the best, he didn't need words to understand her. They learned to understand each other the way they would've never imagined.
They had a lot of fights. They screamed at each other, they hurt each other and a lot of tears have been shed. There was sadness, there was pain, there was disappointment. There was all of that but they still stayed together. Not a lot of people would've been able to do that. Others would've given up everything a long time ago but not them.
Jiyoung and Taemin.
She knew everything about him. She knew about his habits, his sweetness, his stubborness, his up and down moods. She was his wife. She cooked for him, she washed and ironed his clotehs, she waited for him until late at night, she took care of him when he was sick.
She neved did so much for anyone else and she never beared so much for anyone else.
She stayed by his side despite all the things he did to her and she wasn't regretting it because Taemin apologized countless times for that. He worked hard to prove her that he was sorry and that he loved her.
She loved him.
" But I'm in love with you, Kai " she said almost mumbling.
Jiyoung couldn't believe at what she just said because everything was new to her. It was the first time for her to say it out loud and it was unbelievable but it felt good. She felt like a burden that she has been carrying on her shoulders has been taken away, finally.
She felt relieved.
She didn't know how, she didn't know why or when it started but the person she was in love with was Kai.
She tried to find an explanation, to find answers. Kai was her husband bestfriend and many times she brushed the possibility of her having feelings for him away. She told herself that it wasn't right and that she was looking at him that way because she saw in him in her hero, her guardian angel and wished for Taemin to be like him.
But even when Taemin started acting like him, when Taemin started being nice and take care of her like she used to wish, it still wasn't the same.
Since Taemin was being the perfect husband she had no reason to run away from that marriage. She had no excuses and it would've been a happy ending if they could make a happy family. That was why she gave him the opportunity to make up for everything. It was the right thing to do to make that marriage work and accomplish the only thing that her parents have ever asked her. Only god knew how much she worked hard. She thought that maybe giving herself to him, having a baby from him would've made it clear to her head and to her heart that the person she had to be with was Taemin.
She denied and denied it but the image of Kai was always in her mind. She recalled how she would casually smile when he appeared at her store, how she wanted to reach for his hand and tell him to stay when he was about to leave, how she would've stayed in his arms forever whenever he hugged her.
Kai was stoned. He imagined that happening so many times that now that it was happening he couldn't believe it was real. He pinched himself only to facepalm right after because of his sillyness.
It's real.. his lips twitched upwards as a feeling of undescribable happiness was building inside of him.
He was so happy yet surprised that he didn't know what to do " I.. " he stuttered and there he realize that he was shaking. He needed to hear it one more time " I didn't hea- "
" I said I'm in love with you, idiot " she cutted him off and looked down her feet because of embarrassement. She felt so exposed in that moment.
K-Kai. He lifted her chin to make her look at him. He looked straight into her eyes and saw his reflection on them. He loved being the one in her eyes. For how long he wished for that.. He was so immersed in his fairytale that he was caught off-guard when Jiyoung moved closer and finally kissed him.
cCcCc
A few weeks passed since the last time he saw Jiyoung. Aisshhh.. he shook his head trying to brush the thoughts away but the image of her was still clear in his mind. He recalled how she was dressed, how she was nervously biting her bottom lip as she apologized for everything she did to him.
She also thanked him for the beautiful memories he gifted her adding that she was going to treassure them forever. Her glassy gaze and genuine smile as she spoke those words warmed his heart.
He couldn't regret anything because he knew he gave his all for her and he was happy that his effort weren't ignored. He would've wished for things to go differently but at least she was going to remember him positively.
She gave him back their house. It was the Lee's in the first place and Taemin thought about selling it because he couldn't live there anyway. How could he live in the place that was filled with her? It wouldn't have been healthy for him. But in the end he decided to keep it. Their memories, good and bad, were in that house. He didn't want for anyone to change anything, to erase anything. That place was the last thing he had of her and as much as it pained him in a way, he didn't want to throw it away.
He knitted his brows trying to focus on the papers he was working on. It was for his next project which has been taking most of his time and energy for the passed few days, serving as a distraction.
" Knock knock "
He looked up and saw a familiar figure standing at the door.
" May I come in? "
He nodded.
She flashed him a smile as she took a seat across his table. She placed her branded bag on the other seat and cleared as she scanned his office. She was looking beautiful and extremely elegant as usual. A frown appeared when she noticed how messy the room was and truthfully speaking he looked like a mess too.
" Is it me or you haven't been eating for days? " she blurted and Taemin chuckled at how some people never changed. She has always been like that, too blunt but it was a trait that he used to find very attractive. She didn't care about what others could think about her, she just said anything that came through her mind.
Yeah, that was Krystal.
" You're as skinny as the Victoria's Secret angels " he chuckled again.
It has been awhile since that happened. He has been keeping a straight face everyday. He didn't smile, he didn't laugh. It was the first time in weeks and another smile appeared as he came to realize that. It was quite ironic how it had to be Krystal the person to do that. Krystal, the person he left behind.
She felt quite uneasy with him staring at her like that. She was wondering what was going through his mind but she was completely clueless " Sorry " she said almost whispering.
Eh? Taemin raised a brow dumbfounded " For.. for what? "
" For everything " she said shrugging.
There were so many things she needed to apologize for. She never apologized to him for leaving him for another guy in the past, for example. She didn't apologize for coming back and pretending that nothing happened, another example.
But most of all Krystal felt the need to apologize for not letting him go earlier. She knew that he wasn't hers for a long time already, she knew that his heart belonged to Jiyoung but she stubbornly and selfishly decided to ignore that.
She was guilty because she felt like she was the cause of Taemin suffering. If she broke up with him way before maybe things would've gone differently and maybe he would be living happily with her.
" No " he shook his head " That wasn't the problem " he sighed.
He wished for that to be the problem, it would be easier for him to have someone to blame but there was no one to blame. Jiyoung simply wasn't in love with him.
Krystal kept quiet. She was taken aback by him understanding her without her saying anything but she was also unsure whether he really meant those words. What if he was only being the nice guy that he was?
" Are you free? " he broke the silence " What about lunch? " her eyes widened because of the unexpected suggestion and once again Taemin let out a chuckle.
" I don't want to be a Victoria's Secret angel " and there Krystal chuckled too. Taemin got up and reached for his coat " Let's go "
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