Arranged Divorce #13
[►]Arranged divorce - Keep you with me ••
" Did you think that I was stupid? Did you think that I didn't notice? " Krystal asked in disbelief.
" Sorry to break it to you but I've noticed it (your feelings for her) way before you.. " she rolled her eyes at the dumbfounded Taemin.
" That time.. when we're on bed and you blurted her name " a bitter smile formed on her face.
Krystal could look cool and confident, everyone thought of her as an ice cold princess but she was actually not. She could get hurt too and at that time she was hurt. Hurt by Taemin naming another girl when she was right under him.
" I knew that you were stuck with that idea of loving me and I actually liked it.. I enjoyed how much you were so oblivious of your own real feelings because.. " she sat on the edge of her bed and smirked " because I loved you.. " and I still do. It was somewhat funny how tables turned.
" I secretly hoped that you would never realize that the one you truly love was her.. and even when there were a lot of signals that were telling me that you were getting further from me.. I couldn't accept it " a tear rolled down her cheek but she quickly brushed it off with the back of her hand.
" Rather than letting you go.. I kept on holding onto you.. I'm sorry " she looked up to him and forced a smile.
It was clear what was happening when Taemin stopped seeing her the same way as before, when they stopped their activities. The change in him was pretty obvious but Taemin probably thought that he was hiding it perfectly.
Krystal could've given up on him but that was easier said than done. She learned to love him. She loved him. She couldn't easily let him go fearing that there was no one that would ever love her like he did before.
Between them was long over but she still preferred to wait for Taemin to personally tell her that. If ever Taemin was going to have the guts to do that. It was an excuse for her to extend the time she could be with him because again.. she loved him.
" Why still here? " she knitted her brows " Shouldn't you go to her? " she smiled.
It was a genuine smile, Taemin knew that. Just like he knew that Krystal wasn't a bad person. He held her by her shoulder and flashed the brightest smile he has ever shown her " Thank you.. "
" Just go.. and do everything right " she pushed him a little and patted his head as an encouragement.
cCcCc
SEOUL....
" Thank you for staying with me " she grinned as she poured themselves some coffee " It must've been uncomfortable.. " they were on the couch as she cried. He was wrapping her in his arms and without him knowing she fell asleep.
It was 6 in the morning when Jiyoung woke up. She rubbed her eyes and they felt really heavy, too tired for the too much crying.
She sighed.
She checked her phone and there were no calls, no messages. Well, she's there. She sighed again. That must be the reason.. why he wasn't contacting her anymore. She got up and walked to the kitchen. She needed some coffee.
" Did I wake you up? " she softly asked when she saw him appearing half-awake. Kai shook his head and reassured her with a smile. She handed him a cup of coffee and took a sip of hers.
Taemin.. she thought.
Why aren't you calling? She pressed her lips together and looked up not to let the tears fall.
This time it's different, right? A tear rolled down.
Why? Is that because I didn't tell you that 'I love you too' ?
" Enough.. " she snapped out of her daze when she felt Kai holding her by her arms.
" You've cried enough.. " Stop crying.. it hurt him seeing her in such a state.
" Don't you think he's being selfish? He's with Krystal yet pretends to be with you too.. I know I've asked you this already but.... " he paused to shake her and get her attention " Until when are you going to keep this up? "
She couldn't tell.. until when.... maybe until forever? Maybe she has accepted that sad reality that she had to share him with Krystal. But wasn't she more important than Krystal for him now? Wasn't she his first priority now? He told her that he loved her.. twice. He wasn't lying, right? He didn't do everything only so that he could keep her while being with Krystal, right?
Why couldn't he leave Krystal? He should've just left her.. for the first time that thought lingered in her mind. For the first time even though she kept it for herself.. she was pretending from him to leave Krystal. Little did she know how much Taemin would've wanted that. Taemin has hoped for her to tell him that..
Kai saw her eyes lost in a deep thought. Maybe his words had an effect on her.. please, please open your eyes Jiyoung " What about the baby you're carrying? What are you going to tell him when his father leaves to go to his other girl? Jiyoung, this isn't right.. "
She knew that.
Things were going to change even more because she was pregnant. Wasn't that what Taemin wanted? How was he going to handle that?
I'm carrying your baby, Taemin.. where are you?
She caressed her tummy before whiping her tears. She couldn't help it.. as much as she tried to hold them in they kept on falling. Maybe it was because of her pregnancy that she was getting particularly vulnerable, sensitive and emotional.
Jiyoung was pregnant of more than a month but she found out about it that morning. She asked Sulli to accompany her and the doctor confirmed her pregnancy. She would've wanted to tell Taemin as soon as possible but he didn't pick up because, as he told her, he had another meeting. When he called her again.. well, Krystal was there.
" Just leave him.. " her eyes widened and she looked at Kai almost disgusted by his sudden suggestion.
" Why not? You know I would take care of you and the baby.. " he cupped her cheeks and showed her a reassuring smile which in that moment was what she needed the most. She needed to be reassured..
" We can go around the world together.. isn't that what you have always wanted? " he raised his brows waiting for her to give any sign of happiness.
Wasn't it great what he was offering her? " You.. you know I love you.. " she tried to make a step back but Kai was quick enough to lock his arms behind her back. She tried to free herself but he shook his head. He was leaning closer and closer.
" Kai.. d-dont.. "
Right before their lips touched a noise caught their attention.
Fate has always played with them and it seemed that it hasn't finished yet..
The noise was made by Taemin's luggage which he dropped when he saw the scene of his bestfriend holding his wife as he leaned close for a kiss.
" Tae-min.. " she gasped and strongly pushed Kai away.
Taemin closed his hands into tight fist as he felt his blood running through his veins. It would've been easier to attack the two of them. To jump on his bestfriend and have a fist fight with him.. but Taemin knew that it was better to face that situation with a clear mind " Leave me alone with her.. " he muttered.
Kai looked at Jiyoung who with begging eyes was asking for him to just leave " Please.. " she mouthed.
Kai was planning to stay. It was time to confess what has been going on between them. Maybe he was putting to risk a friendship that lasted since forever but he loved Jiyoung so much that he was looking for a forever with her too. He decided to man up and fight for her.
But how could he fight for her when she wasn't ready to be fought for? A defeated Kai walked out leaving her with him.
" Kai.. " Taemin. Kai stopped on his tracks but kept his back turned " For me, you're dead.. "
Jiyoung's eyes got watery. Did she just cause the end of their friendship? She felt so guilty.. " Taemin.. " she made a step towards him but he stepped back. She made another step and he stepped back again.
Taemin fixated his gaze on the floor finding it hard to even look at her.
" I.. I made a lot of mistakes " he nodded aknowledging that fact " but.. but you.... with my bestfriend " he shook his head not being able to believe what he just saw. He shook it furiosly trying to brush that sight away " Under.. under my roof.... "
Even during the first months of their marriage when Taemin was supposedly hating on Jiyoung because he blamed her for their arrangement, even during his darkest moments he has always put himself limits.
He also has never ever dared to look at her friends. Sulli and Suzy were invisible in his eyes.
He has never ever dared to bring any girl to their house because it was their house. He found it sacred. Only for the two of them. He couldn't disrespect that. That was why he made it clear to Krystal not to storm in his place. It was his place and Jiyoung's..
But Jiyoung..
Taemin let go of all the times she brought Dongwoon there because he thought that after all he put her through she could get away with that. What about now? Could she get away after he saw her and his bestfriend almost kissing?
It was too much.. too much. This was way worse than that time he misundestood her for having with Dongwoon. Thinking that he was sure nothing could top that. There were a lot of feelings fighting against each other that he didn't really know how to exactly react in that moment.
What did he have to do? What did he have to say? Could he scream? Could he cry? Could he chase after Kai and vent his anger on him? Or could he simply hit his head on the wall so that he could faint and not feel anything anymore? The anger, the disappointment and the pain all together were unbearable.
He clenched his fist and gritted his teeth trying his best not to burst in that moment because he couldn't guarantee if he could respond of his words, actions and whatever was going to happen after. He closed his eyes and took small breaths to get a hold of himself.
*silence*
*silence*
*silence*
He stood up and turned his back to her. A tear rolled down as he realized that he was going to take another big decision. Maybe the biggest in his whole life.. " I'm going to call our parents.. " he paused trying to regain himself " You're free "
*silence*
*silence*
*silence*
" Don't worry.. " he added and a bitter smile formed on his face " I'm going to take full responsibility of it.. " that was what you were afraid of all this time, right? Being blamed for the failure of this marriage.. disappointing our parents for the failure of this marriage.. was that the only reason why you stayed by my side?
It was hard to accept such a things after everything he did.
He did his best and was ready to do more. He left Krystal for good. He left the meetings and conferences he still had to attend to go back to his wife and clarify their misunderstandings.
He could've waited for the night because that was when he was supposed to arrive anyway. Though he was excited, he couldn't wait to see her and tell her that it was finally only the two of them. He would've hugged her tighter than ever as he repeated countless times how much he loved her.
Taemin left.
All those times they fought, all those times they were about to part.. it was always Jiyoung to take the intitiative and say that it was over or tell him that she called her parents and that they were going to pick her up the morning after..
It was the first time for Taemin to do so. He was letting her go and it was definitely harder for him than it was for her because not once he thought about ending their marriage. Not even once..
He started the engine and drove to the place he usually went when he was down, when he needed to vent his frustrations like in that moment. He got off the car and slammed the door violently.
It's over.. over. He kept on repeating in disbelief. He let out screams that only he could hear.
When he went back home he wondered if Jiyoung was still there or she already ran away from him. Fortunately or maybe not.. he found her sleeping in the kitchen right where he left her.
She was still sitting on the floor with her arms on her knees and her head leaning on them. In that moment Taemin felt his heart thumping hard in his chest that it hurt.
It hurt him seeing her hurt.
He kneeled down and lifted her up to carry her to the couch in the living room where he carefully lay her down. He wiped the corner of her eyes which were still wet. I love you, I love you so much. He said tucking her hair behind her ears.
" How.. " she gasped when she opened her eyes and found herself in such a comfortable position. She had a pillow under her head while her body was covered by her blanket. She sat up and noticed a plate with food and a glass of water.
Why.... tears were flowing down her cheeks again. Why are you still so nice to me? It only made everything harder. If he yelled at her, if he even slapped her.. she wouldn't feel that sorry and guilty. Guilt was eating her up so slowly that it hurt.
She hugged her knees and let herself cry her heart out.
Taemin couldn't see her but he heard everything. He was hiding behind the wall. He couldn't help it. He still felt the urge to take care of her, to worry about her. That's how much he loved her. Despite not being able to accept what has happened, he still couldn't bring himself to hate her or even be mad at her.
Maybe he should've let her explain herself.. he suddenly thought.
But what was there to explain? Wasn't it obvious what they were doing or what they were about to do? What would've happened if he didn't interrupt them? Did anything happen before between them?
They were all questions that were running through his mind but he didn't want to ask because he was afraid of the answers he would get. He wasn't ready to hear them and probably was never going to be so he preferred to keep it for himself.
Taemin took a long bath to calm and relax himself a little bit. He stayed there for hours until around 7 p.m. He dressed himself and went to the kitchen to cook her something to eat.
She was still on the couch right where he left her. She ate what he prepared for her earlier and even the glass of water was empty. When he came with the dinner she only followed him with her eyes. She saw him carefully preparing another plate and another glass for her after taking to the kitchen the used ones.
She was longing to meet his eyes but Taemin wasn't looking at her, not once she saw him even taking a glance at her. He cleared his throat after everything was prepared almost like he was signaling her that she could eat before he left.
Stop it.. stop taking care of me.. she muttered in her head. All of that made her even more mad at herself.
She hated herself.
Here it is. Was it like you expected, or maybe not? ^.^
Taemin finally left Krystal who unexpectedly reacted nicely but.... Fate, oh fate, made it so Taemin could find his bestfriend and his wife together....
" For me, you're dead "
" You're free "
Comments