"I just don't get it Kris." I heard Jongin say and lean closer to Wu Fan. He's been going on all morning about not understanding mine and Luhan's connection. I tired to explain to him that it was just because I was actually nice to him and didn't treat him like such an outcast. "Sehun is obviously smitten with the kid. Let him be." Kris hadn't even glanced away from his computer.

"First off stop talking about me like I'm not sitting here. And second he is technically all of our hyung, so have some respect." I rubbed my temples and got back to doodling on the piece of paper I was suppose to be writing my thesis on. I had a report due for my morning class tomorrow and I had yet to do any of it. I haven't honestly thought about it until now.

"Do you have to call him hyung?" Jongin leaned over me and snatched the papaer away from me. "I call him Luhan because he calls me Sehun. We've dropped formalities." God I feel like I've explained this to him a million times and he still hasn't soaked in any of it. "Is that why you wrote hyung all over this paper?" Kai flashed it in front of Kris and then myself.

Damn it he was right and I had written Luhan hyung all over the white paper. The little red hearts probably didn't help my case any and Kai was for sure gonna end up putting me on blast to the administration. "Did you know unless you have ual relations, they don't enforce the rule." Lay came sauntering along and stole my chair before I could sit back down.

"What are you blabbing about now?" Kai asked and I took the chance to grab the piece of paper and fold it away into my sweater pocket. "Unless an employee and a patient have ," Lay coughed as pink danced across his cheeks. "You're not breaking the rules and you can love Luhan if you want. Just no ." Throwing around the word seemed to make him get redder.

"Is that why you haven't made a move on your little Chenchen?" Kai mused and Kris laughed, his voice echoing through the almost empty hallway. "First off his name is Jongdae or Chen, he hates pet names. And secondly, you Jongin. Why haven't you made a move on that Kyungsoo character?" We all knew Yixing caught him on that one. "Yeah," Kai started turning pink on his ears.

"At least I don't love a freak." Kai was the only one who laughed at that but he quickly stopped. Lay just got up and pushed my chair in. Bumping shoulders with Jongin as he headed down the hallway to the wing where Kim Jongdae resided. "That was low even for you." Jessica came around the corner holding the tray of little cups cotaining pills.

"I know and I'll go apologize to both of them." He looked like a kicked puppy as he trudged after Lay down the hallway. I saw him sling an arm around the older as they turned the corner. "Sehun I have a favor to ask." Jessica sat the tray on the counter and started sorting out the empty cups and throwing the away. "What is it? I'm not going to rub your hands again."

"Take these to your Luhan." She slid a small light blue cup towards me and grabbed the tray again. She was in charge of nighty medicine rounds cause she was actually a licensed pharmacist and knew what she was doing. "Why can't you? I have an assingment I need finished." I gestured down to the manila folder sticking out from under my keyboard.

"Because Yuri went home early and there's no one to help me. And besides," She waved me to lean closer so I did. "I thought you'd like some time with him." She nodded down the hallway leading to Luhan. "Don't worry about the paper when you have more important things to consider." She patted my shoulder then left the same way she came.

"You should listen to her." Kris piped in and finally glanced up from his screen. "Yeah yeah go be with Baekhyun or something." We both chuckled and I grabbed a water bottle from the cooler under the desks. They were only meant for staff members. "Where are you taking that?" Kris asked and went back to typing away, the glasses slipping down his nose some. "To Luhan." I don't have to explain anything to him.

"Remember no ." Kris busted out laughing and it was so loud I swear I heard Jessica yelp in the other building. It's not like I wanted to have with Luhan or anything. I still wasn't even sure what we were to eachother. Was I just another nurse to him? Someone that he used to cry on and hold onto when the night terrors got way out of hand?

"Luhan?" I peeked the door open because he rarely ever has his door fully shut. Especially once the sun goes down, and the sun disappeared a while ago. "I'm here." A voice called from inside the room and I let out a deep breath, opening the door fully. Luhan was standing on his bed and looking out the window high on the wall. "Whatcha doing there?"

"I heard a car." Luhan said and looked back towards the window. "Why don't they open?" Luhan asked and rested his hands on the dingy glass. "Because patients could escape and the hospital would be in serious trouble." I sat on the bed and moved the cup so you could hear the pills hitting eachother. "Do I have to take those?"

"Yes because they will help you get better. And you wanna get better, right?" He finally stepped down and sat next to me knee to knee just like always. "No. I don't want to get better." He smiled and took the cup from my hand. "Here." I opened the bottle for him and he smiled a little more, the skin around his eyes crinkling up into crescents.

"Why don't you want to get better?" I watched to make sure he actually took them because so many patients spit the pills back out when no one's looking. He opened his mouth and the pills were gone. "If I get better it might be enough that they make me leave. And if I leave how will I see you then?" He sipped on the water. I watched the condensation run over his fingers.

"Well maybe one day we can meet on the outside world." Was all I said before getting up and heading for the door. "You're not staying?" Luhan looked so dejected as he stared down at the bottle in his hands. "I can't because I have school work to do by morning. I'm sorry." And I shut the door on him and took a couple deep breaths. 

My phone started buzzing in my pocket and when I pulled it out I immediately recognized the number. "What is it Tao? I'm at work and I could get in trouble." I slipped into the long since abandoned common room. "Your grandma called and I didn't know what to tell her. She's on the other line, what do I do?" Tao sounded frantic and I could picture him pacing around the kitchen.

"Whatever you do not tell her where I work. She already hates my studying nursing, no need for her to hate me more for working with mental cases." I explained and sank onto the couch. "Your grandma scares me." Tao admitted and I heard beeping in the background I recognized as the microwave. "Just tell her I'll call when I get home." I closed my eyes.

"Are you actually gonna call her back?" Tao asked and I could hear the faint noise of a bag popping open. "No." I said shortly and rubbed at my temples again. "Okay see you then." And he hung uo the phone. I slipped mine back in my pocket and sank farther into the couch. It was soft considering how cheap it must have been. "I'm so tired." I said to no one.

This morning I had to get up at 5am to go with Tao to pick up his mom's new nephew from the airport because he still can't navigate Korean signs well. Then during the two hour drive from the airport back to the apartment Tao wouldn't shut up about his adventures with Minseok, like I cared. I was half asleep and barely remembered whether or not I even spoke to Minseok on the ride.

Then I had to shuffle off to class just to be lectured all period about being late and that they were gonna take points off my final paper. Which brings me back to the blank papers all over my desk, left untouched by my pen. My eyes burned and I saw Jessica go by the door before backtracking into the room. "What are you doing here?" She sat the box down she had in her arms.

"Trying to figure out how to survive the next 5 hours of my life." I huffed and leaned my head on the armrest as she sat on the other end. "This job makes it so hard to go to my second job early in the morning. I'm practically dead weight all day." I knew of Jessica's second job at another hospital. Except there she helped to entertain kids who were forced to live there.

"But at least you have the kids to look forward to." I caught her smile and wondered why there was a hint of sadness behind it. "Yesterday afternoon, this girl Victoria, passed away in her sleep." She said bluntly and settled into the couch too. "She went so peacefully they said. But the minutes before she fell asleep must have been miserable and painful."

I never took Jessica as the type to get so caught up in work and stuff. "I'm sorry." And there goes my pitiful attempt at comforting her. "She had this thing she use to tell me all the time," Jessica swallowed and I could see the water pricking at the corner of her eyes. "Love like you're on life support and live like you're in a coma. I never understood it."

"I get it. She was telling you to hold onto love, once you find it, like your gonna die without it. And to live peacefully and fulfilled. My mom use to tell me something similar." But she didn't seem to feel better about any of this. "Is Tao single?" I nearly choked when she bluntly asked me, wiping at her eyes. "Yes he's single for now."

"Do you think," She started that nasty habit she had of biting her nails, "Do you think he'd wanna go out somewhere with me sometime?" She finished and the familiar red creeped up her face. "I don't know but I could ask him for you." She smiled even though it still seemed so sad and got up again. "My knees hurt so bad though." She sighed. He knees were a weird color.

"Go sit somewhere and rest for a while. I still have people to check on." Namely Luhan who is probably still wide awake and waiting for me to come back and stay the night again. "What about your paper? What's it even on?" She armed up the box again and I heard glass clinking. "The difference between someone with an internal fear or an external fear." Seemed simple enough.

I peeked into the box to see the jars of different medicines and stuff I didn't recognize but the box seemed heavy. "Which does Luhan have?" She asked and we walked to the door together, I made sure it didn't hit her when we got out in the hall. "I think both but my professor told me nobody had both." Apparently that big time degree Mr. Park had meant absolutely nothing.

"His external fear is the darkness, we all know that. I think his internal fear is rejection because of his mother." I went on and followed her through a different hallway. "Well use him to write your paper. Write from your experiences with Luhan." She suggested and pushed open the door to the pharmacy room. "When did you get so smart?" I asked and helped lift the box to a high shelf.

"Since I actually do my work." She nudged me and went about collecting another box of medicine and a scale to weigh whatever it was she did. "Whetever you decide to do jsut make sure you're not the one to reject Luhan." She patted my shoulder again and left down the hallway towards a supply closet. And here I always thought she had the easiest job.

It was an uneasy feeling walking back by myself. All the lights were on and I ahd a clear view of both the front desks and Luhan's room. But something felt off and like at any moment something bad is gonna happen. And I was right.

"Sehun!" Kai jumped from the doorway to an empty room and spun me around. "Haha! I scared the crap out of you." And it was then I realized I had let out a rather unmnaly scream. "You're such a jerk man." I shoved him back and just then Luhan's door peeked open and his head popped out. We made brief eye contact before Kai pushed me down the hallway.

"Maybe I should go see what he needed." I tried to turn around but Kai forced me into my chair. "No you have to work, remember what that is?" He said mockingly and put my hands flat on the desk on the blank lined paper. "But what if-" Kai cut me off with a hand over my mouth. "Luhan is perfectly fine and you have to do this. If you fail this class you won't be able to work here anymore. And you'll loose precious Luhan."

He lightly pushed my head towards the table, "So get it done and then go be with lover boy." He left and bounded down the hallway again saying something about going to check in on Kyungsoo. "What if Luhan really needed me?" I asked particularly to no one but myself. "Just relax. We have a clear view of his room if he needs us." Kris pointed down the hallway.

Luhan's door has been shut and proboably locked so I probably couldn't get back in if I tried. "Kris why don't the indows open?" I decided to ask and clicked my pen open, the cap flying somewhere across the room. "To keep the bad things outside and the good thigns inside." Kris chuckled a little. "Makes sense I guess." It sounded like something Luhan would say.

"You better be doing that paper!" Yixing came by the desk and grabbed a lollipop from the jar. "Slacker~" He sang out and left again down the hallway Kai went down. "Sometimes I think those two are the real mental patients." And we both laughed so hard I think I could've busted a rib or two. It felt nice but I was still so tired. It's gonna be a long next few days.

*a/n: Hello again to whoever really reads the author notes. But this was longer than what I wanted it to be but it sets some things up for the next couple chapters. So yeah we have SM artists all over the place. Jessica is a staff member, Yuri an assitant and Victoria from f(x) was a patient at another hospital. I'm trying to incooperate all the members of Exo and I might bring in some Super Junior at a later point. So that's something to look forward to. And sorry for the lack of actual Hunhan in this chapter, but this was needed.

I'm always on Tumblr if you wanna talk to me or anything. Until the next time I update....

Love, Author-nim

p.s. - You'll be disappointed to know that this will never contain anything rated. No for you guys, lol.