We had a hearty dinner and went for drinks later (non-alcoholic ones, of course! Of course we knew we were still in high school and were underage and were good little boys and girls, what were you thinking?), where we cracked lots of jokes and shared lots of laughter. Unknowingly it became late and we decided it was time to go. I headed back with Donghae to the dorms while the rest went to their own homes.

At the place where Donghae and I usually parted, I raised my hand to wave goodbye but Donghae said, “Jiyeon ah, do you want to come to my room for awhile?” I figured he still wanted to talk so I agreed.

As we reached his room he said, “Ok, I need you to just wait outside here for awhile, I won’t be a minute.” With that he unlocked his door and opened it wide enough just for himself to squeeze through and did so, but not before telling me to please turn around. He was taking longer than a minute, but I didn’t mind, just that I heard an “ah!” It sounded painful, as if he had touched something hot.

A few seconds later, the door opened. “Ok, now umm…could you just close your eyes, if you don’t mind, and just follow my lead.” I trusted him and closed my eyes as I felt his hands on my shoulders, turning me around and pushing me inside gently. I didn’t know what this was about but I just cooperated anyway. “Ok, now…hold on.” His hands left my shoulders and a few seconds later he said, “Now you can open your eyes.”

I did so and I was amazed to find myself surrounded by pink and blue balloons all around the room. Some were in the air, others were tied to the bedpost, and it was a beautiful sight. In addition there were some rose petals strewn all over the floor and a sweet scent filled the room. I took a deep breath and was enjoying the atmosphere when I heard Donghae singing ‘Happy Birthday’. I turned around and he was walking towards me with a cupcake and a lighted candle on it. I was so touched that by the end of the song I couldn’t think of much to do except clap and say, “Thank you, Donghae.” I thought my eyes were a bit wet too.

“I know your birthday’s not until tomorrow, but I wanted to be the first to wish you. Now make a wish for yourself,” he said as he presented the cake to me. We blew out the candle together and I couldn’t help but clap and thank him again.

“Jiyeon, I hope you liked this.”

“Of course I did, I loved it! No one has ever done so much for me before,” I told him. It was such a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. That someone actually did this whole set up for me, that someone actually cared. At that moment it seemed like whatever fears I had were allayed. Suddenly I remembered the small shout that I had heard earlier. “Donghae ah, did you burn yourself just now?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Yeah, right. He was trying to act strong.

“Don’t say it’s nothing! Let me see your hand! Lemme see!” I headed towards him but he ran in circles around the room and when I thought I had him cornered he jumped on the bed. I followed suit and jumped too, landing squarely on top of him, face to face.

“Jiyeon ah…” It seemed like eternity before another word was said by anyone as all we could do was stare at each other and blink.

 “I think I like you.”

Although I wanted to, I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t move an inch! I somehow found myself rolling to the side and we ended up still staring at each other, but side by side. Then his face started coming closer…

This time, I didn’t close my eyes. I knew what was happening, suspected the reason Donghae did all this for me, but at the last moment I put my hand on his chest.

“Donghae ah…”

He stopped, and just looked at me. As I sat up, so did he.

“Donghae, I really am very, very grateful for all that you’ve done for me. Not just today, not just in SM. Right from the start, even before I reached SM, you were the one who helped me on the bus, goodness knows how many times! I’m still amazed that I received that much help from a complete stranger, which goes to show how kind and helpful you are. And even during my time in SM, you’ve always been the one I’ve told my troubles to, and I know we connected because we were from the same hometown. And today, I cannot tell you how much I love what you’ve done. It’s such a precious memory; I want to keep it in my heart, always. But I see you as a very great and close friend.”

“I understand.”

“Donghae, I’m really, really sorry.”

“It’s ok. Just thought I’d try anyway.” He gave what I thought was a sad smile and ruffled my hair, like he always did.

“Anyhow, once again, komawo.” I pulled him into a tight embrace. He put his hand on my back and we stayed like that for awhile, until he broke away and said, “It’s getting late. Come on, I’ll send you back to your room.”

I half-laughed at his cuteness and said, “My room? It’s not but a block away!”

He pouted (yes, Donghae was very capable of doing aegyo too) and said, “Would you deny me even this walk?” Of course I didn’t, and so we got ready to leave.

“Can I keep the cake at least?” I asked him.

“Of course! It’s yours,” Donghae handed it to me.

When we reached my door I hugged him once again, and watched him leave. He was truly a great friend but I knew I didn’t have those kinds of feelings for him. I might have had a mini crush on him the first time we met, when he was my hero, but our relationship later developed to one of great friendship and deep understanding, something that admittedly not everyone could have, but it stopped just there. At least on my part, anyway.

The next day at school, I was still thinking about it, with my head resting on one propped up hand, letting my vision blur out into a daze, when I saw a hand waving in front of me.

“Jiyeon ah, gwaenchana?” Sungmin asked me in class. “It’s your favourite Mathematics but you’re not paying attention?” he said. “And it’s not because you’re talking to me?” he couldn’t resist adding. “Or are you sad because it’s your birthday and I didn’t do anything else besides wish you?” he joked.

“Oh…I think I’m just tired from last night,” I told him. Well, it wasn’t entirely a lie.

“I see. You were getting me worried. By the way, I have something to ask you. Would you be free two Saturdays from now?”

“What’s up?”

“My family’s company is having a charity ball, and I’d like you to go.”

“Charity ball? What’s that?” I probably sounded ignorant, but I obviously had to ask what kind of event I was being invited to. Then I remembered Heejun’s taunt. Was this the ball she was talking about?

“It’s basically an event where lots of people come and have dinner and drink wine and dance and stuff like that and they each pay a certain amount of money, which will be donated to charity by my family’s company.”

“Hmm…how much is each ticket?”

I could see he was trying to hold back his laughter, quite unsuccessfully. It must have been a very stupid question or something. “You don’t have to pay, I’m just inviting you as the host!”

“Oh, will that be ok? I mean since everyone there’s paying…”

“Well I’m the host so I can invite whoever I like for free,” Sungmin declared. “Come on, it’ll be great fun, and the guys will be there too.” Speaking of the other boys, it made me think of Donghae. I wondered if we’d be awkward at lunch that day. I hadn't seen him at breakfast.

“But can I just ask you something first, Sungmin?” I needed to get that something off my mind. “Did you invite Heejun too?” I lowered my volume as I said this, as she wasn’t too far away.

“Urgh!” He turned around and gave a spiteful glance in Heejun’s direction but she didn’t see, and acted like a little boy who didn’t get his candy. “That stupid girl told you about it? What did she say? No, never mind what she said! Point is, I didn’t invite her. She knows that my family is hosting it so she knows that I’ll be there and she’ll be there with her own family.”

So, she belonged in high society too. I guessed that she was rich, but I didn’t know that their families knew each other or anything like that. “Have your families known each other for a long time or something?”

“Well, sorta. But that’s our parents. Not us. We’re not on good terms. No, we are not. I bet you can see that.” I didn’t ask whether they were on good terms, I asked how long they’d known each other, but I could see that Sungmin didn’t want to stay on this topic any longer than he could help. “Soooo…you coming?” the aegyo king regained his composure.

“If you say so!” The little boy in front of me wanted to start clapping his hands in glee but remembered the teacher was still around, talking about graphs and the like, so he refrained from doing so, but I could see him grinning from ear to ear for the rest of the day.

When lunch came, we headed towards SJ’s room. Sungmin was so busily texting along the way and as a result that slowed us down a lot, which was so different from his usual way of zooming around that I just burst out, “Who’re you so busy texting?”

“Why, jealous, aren’t we?” he grinned.

“Who’s jealous about anything? Just hurry!” I pulled him along.

When we reached, the room was pitch dark.

“Oh, we’re the first here, how fun,” I said.

“Fun? Are you thinking of doing something in the dark with just the two of us?” Sungmin replied cheekily.

“What?!” I him. What was wrong with that boy today?

Suddenly, “Surprise!” Donghae, Kyuhyun, Ryeowook and Eunhyuk appeared in front of me, each holding two balloons. Together, they read: saeng il chu ka ham ni da!

“Guys!!! Komawo,” I pulled them all in for a group hug. I caught Donghae’s eye and he gave me a knowing smile, a smile that signified that only two of us knew what had happened the previous night and that we were both ok. I was glad.

“And now, to the dining hall!” Sungmin dragged me there. I put my hand to my mouth as the place was decorated with ribbons, flowers and shiny crystals. In the middle of the table was a large cake that had some drawings on it. I took a closer look and laughed. It was a drawing of the six of us.

“Ryeowook baked that,” Kyuhyun told me.

“That is so awesome! Thank you so much, Ryeowook, all of you!”

"You know, guys, this girl here was sooo jealous of me texting you all to get ready just now," Sungmin announced. I was so red-faced, I didn't know where to put it, but they all just laughed.

The seaweed soup that day tasted especially nice, even though I was far away from my parents; far away from my home. These guys made me feel accepted at SM more than I had dreamed of.