As the days passed, I found myself growing closer to Sungmin and Donghae. Sungmin because we were seatmates and we practically did all our homework together, and Donghae because he was staying in the dormitories so we often could walk back together and talk along the way. We also had breakfast together and went to school together. Dinner was separate because we ate at different times (I ate with Youngeun then, that lazy girl never had breakfast). Besides being good at schoolwork and being a musician, Donghae was also quite the sportsman, so he often ate dinner late, after his soccer practice. Of course, this way I ended up going to have lunch at SJ’s room everyday, and for awhile Heejun’s bullying subsided.

“Jiyeon-ah, can I ask you something?” Donghae asked as we were walking back one day, on my favourite windy path.

“Of course, what is it?”

“How did you feel when you first went into SJ’s room?”

“Well…” That was quite an unexpected question. I had a lot of thoughts about it at first, but I realised that despite being rich and in a way spoilt by the fuss that was accorded to them, the SJ boys were otherwise inclusive. I thought of an incident that had taken place just a few days ago.

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“Alright guys, I’ve gotten notice from Ms Park that the school’s summer festival is in one month's time, we’ve got to get our act up!” Sungmin announced at lunch. SJ performing! Cool! I couldn’t miss this. The other boys were equally excited.

After lunch, they headed to the practice room (which was yet another section of their never-ending room) and started taking out all the instruments.

“I don’t care, I’m going to play the piano this time!” Kyuhyun wrapped his arms round the electric piano.

“Noooo, I want to! Just because I imparted some of my trade secrets to you doesn’t mean that I’m giving my piano role to you!” Ryeowook tried to push him away, rather unsuccessfully.

“Whatever, you two go settle. I’m sticking with my guitar,” Sungmin started strumming.

“Do you play anything, Jiyeon?” Donghae asked.

“I don’t actually, I’ve never really been able to afford any instruments or go for lessons,” I told them frankly. “Though I have always wanted to try…”

“Piano?” Kyuhyun and Ryeowook said at the same time.

“Drums?” Eunhyuk asked.

“You’re all wrong! I know it’s guitar! She told me that on the first day of school,” Sungmin smirked. “I can teach you sometime, Jiyeon!”

“I can teach! I can teach!” the other voices fought to be heard.

“Come on Eunhyuk, everyone knows you can’t tell a G from a C!” Sungmin said. (A/N: you can watch the funny video which inspired this here)

“Ah waegurae, why do you have to make me look bad in front of Jiyeon? I knew I wasn’t going to get chosen anyway,” Eunhyuk sulked.

They were all so cute, fighting over even a little thing like that. There were many of these moments where I felt like my time at SM would be too different if I hadn’t met Sungmin on the first day. What would it be like? He’d still be the popular guy in class, I’d probably still get attacked by Heejun and co, but would he still be my friend if we weren’t seatmates? I think it was a good thing that I’d gone early that day. How one little thing could impact your whole life.

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“To tell you the truth, I did feel very strange at first, as I’m really not used to all the elaborate setting and stuff. But everyone’s nice to me, so I suppose I warmed up really fast,” I answered Donghae.

“That’s good, I’m really glad you feel that way. I actually felt so out of place when I first went that I told Sungmin hyung I never wanted to go back there again. But we united through music and the rest is history,” Donghae told me his experience. The two of us had a lot in common, coming from the same background. He almost acted like my guardian angel, ensuring that I was comfortable and coping well.

“I’m glad it turned out that way, SJ wouldn’t be the same without you.” I don’t know why I did, but I blushed when I said it.

Donghae was probably feeling the heat too, as he quickly joked, “Yeah, and without me as your predecessor, Sungmin hyung would probably never have brought you there!” He ruffled my hair.

We reached the dorms and waved goodbye as we each went to our own rooms. I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling, thinking of what SJ would be like without each of the members. Each one contributed their own unique personality, which formed pieces of a jigsaw that fit nicely together. Without any one of them, it would just be incomplete. Without Ryeowook, there’d be no one to fuss over them (and now me) at mealtimes, making sure everyone had their fill and water. Without Kyuhyun, there’d be no sarcastic jokes that always set the whole group upon the poor victim of his joke. Without Eunhyuk, there’d be no one to liven up the atmosphere especially on frosty mornings (we hung out there sometimes in the mornings if we had no classes or were early), for he was easily the noisiest in the group. Without Donghae there’d be no one for them to call silly, as he always made such strange comments without reading the atmosphere properly (I found out that he had two sides to him, the very serious and quiet side as well as the silly and playful side). And without Sungmin…well I guess there’d be no me. Wait, that sounded far too dramatic. Correction: there’d be no me as part of SJ. No. I wasn’t part of SJ. There’d be no me…argh in SJ’s room! I saw Sungmin as the binder of them all; he could deal with Eunhyuk and Donghae’s rough play and silliness but also appeal to Kyuhyun and Ryeowook’s gentler selves and quietness, and, what should I say, intellectual jokes?

In the days ensuing, SJ stayed back later in the room to practice, sometimes I’d even see a sleepy-eyed Sungmin in school the next morning as I found out that they’d stayed in school the whole night finalising their songs and practicing. (Yes, their luxury extended to showers and extra uniforms.)

“Hey, Jiyeon, we’ve decided to take a break from practicing for today, but I needed some opinions on a little thing I decided to add while playing my part on the guitar, do you think you could come up later and help me see?” Sungmin asked me one day.

“I’d be more than happy to!” Even though I never really played a guitar, I watched a lot of videos and was very interested to see Sungmin play.

“Ok so, are you familiar with strumming styles?”

“Yes, sir!” I rambled off a list of patterns I had memorised through videos.

“That’s my girl! Hey, since you seem good at theory, you might be good in practice too. Wanna try the guitar?” Sungmin offered.

“Me?” I wanted to jump at the opportunity to try the guitar once and for all, as I’d always been attracted by the cool sounds it made. But one thought held me back, which was that I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of Sungmin, if I was no good at it.

As if reading my thoughts, Sungmin encouraged me gently, “It’s ok, don’t be afraid. I’ll guide you along.”

I took a deep breath and picked up his guitar. I tried my best to hold it in the way I’d seen others do, and imitate the strumming. "Here’s an A, right?" I easiest chord.

“Yup!” chirped Sungmin. I started strumming. “Chakaman, chakaman. Try to strum like that, it’ll be better. Here, let me show you.” With that he shifted his chair to behind mine and slightly to the side, and put his arm around to the front, such that he was holding my right hand with his and teaching me the right strumming pattern. His hands were obviously bigger than mine but not too big, such that they just enveloped mine. They were also so soft and warm. In contrast, my own hands felt cold. I was already embarrassing myself in front of him and with the addition of the skinship, I felt even more nervous and my heart began to beat faster. “Just relax,” he laughed at my tense hands.

Slowly I began to get it, and soon I was off strumming on my own. the chords were not a problem, as I’d remembered them from my own little theory findings. Soon I was figuring out chords to my favourite song and I started singing. Sungmin knew it too and we both hummed in unison. It was a cute love song about pure and innocent love, and soon it ended.

“…and don’t forget, I love you,” we finished with the last line of the lyrics. By this time, we were both happy and laughing and clapping our hands in the air. The last action was a mistake on my part as the guitar lost balance sitting on my lap and was set to crash to the ground. I stuck my hand out to catch it but so did Sungmin. It ended up looking like I had caught the guitar but he had caught both the guitar and my hand. As we straightened up, still not letting go, I looked into his twinkly eyes, the eyes that had first caught my attention those few weeks ago. He took the guitar from my hand and laid it against the wall, while still not leaving my gaze. Before I knew what I was doing, his face was inching closer to mine. I closed my eyes without quite knowing why, and even then I could feel him coming closer and his scent getting stronger. As my heart started to race faster and faster I braced myself…