Chapter 20

“Have you seen how big noona got?”

“Yah, Chen that’s not very polite”

“But she’s huge!”

“CHEN!”

“Sorry, but she waddles around like a whale-penguin cross. How long until the baby gets here?”

Pinky thought to herself, without the proper equipment , not that any of them even knew how to use it, there was no way they could know for sure, but from the looks of it would probably be about another 6 weeks? Maybe a little less? Chen was right, she had ballooned so much during the pregnancy it was kind of hard to tell.

“I don’t know. Maybe a month or so?”

“Cool. So we’ll have a baby to look after then?”

“Yes”

“Do we have everything ready?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean like have we got clothes and stuff?”

“Yeah. Baekhyun and Luhan have been collecting for the past couple of weeks”

“Really?”

“What did you think was in those backpacks you’ve been carrying?”

Chen shrugged his shoulders and smiled, Pinky smiled back and turned back to the stove; she, Chen and DO were supposed to be cooking dinner tonight but she seemed to be the only one doing anything. Chen sat on the counter, watching her work and DO had gone to find some spices over 10 minutes ago. He still hadn’t come back yet.

“Do you think it’ll be a boy or girl?”

“I don’t know Chen”

“Xiumin hyung, Sehun and I think it’s a boy but Luhan hyung wants it to be a girl”

“I’m hoping for it to just be healthy”

Chen nodded in agreement. Although the pregnancy had only succeeded in making the noona even meaner and weirder (apparently due to some hormone thing-y according to Mink), everyone was now looking forward to the arrival of little… little…

“What do you think they’re going to call it?”

“I don’t know”

“Why aren’t you with the others learning how to drive?”

“I’m not interested in it”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not”

“Why?”

“WHY ARE YOU ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS?”

“…Sorry”

Pinky felt a little bad for snapping at him, sure he was being annoying but maybe he was just bored.

“No…Chen I’m sorry”

“Don’t be. I was being irritating… I get it. Here” hoping down he reached out and gently pushed her out of the way, taking the spatula and standing in her place by the stove “Let me do it. You go relax”

“Chen… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that it’s just…”

“Just what?” Chen asked, not even looking up from the pot of stew he was stirring.

“I’m just worried”

“About what?” He finally looked up at her and waited to see what was up.

“The baby”

Chen raised an eyebrow. Pinky was usually so confident when it came to medical issue, why was she so worried about it now. “The baby?”

“Yeah. I mean how am I supposed to deliver it? I never wanted to be a doctor; I wanted to be a vet. I only ever focused on how a cow or a horse gives birth, not an actual human baby!” She released all her pent up emotions onto the unsuspecting Chen and fell to the floor as her legs gave way beneath her. Chen quickly removed the pot of food from the fire and went to her side, sitting beside her and placing an arm around her heaving shoulders. “Chen I can’t do it. I can’t… The others all have their skills and their great at them I mean you never see them fail at anything they try to do. They always succeed and I’m going to mess this up somehow. I know it” She sobbed heavily into her hands

“Hey now stop crying. You’re not going to fail”

“How do you know? I’m going to do something wrong, I know it. I’m no good with kids, that’s always been Mink and Taro’s job. I just gave them band aids when they fell over, I can’t comfort them or anything. I’m clumsy and uncoordinated, I mean what if something goes wrong and it’s entirely my fault? Chen I can’t do this” She sobbed harder, burying her face into Chen’s shoulder as he took a moment to process everything she just said.

“Ya~ stop crying” He said, gently raising her head and wiping away the tears that left shining trails down her cheeks. “You’re not a pretty crier. And you’re getting snot all over my t-shirt too”

“YAH!” Pinky slapped his arm.

“I’m only being honest. I always am honest and listen to me not everything is going as smoothly as you think”

“What?”

“Mink and Kris are completely frazzled, they’re the ones having to plan everything and co-ordinate regarding the noona and her baby now; Suho hyung is trying to keep everyone sane; Chanyeol and Roe can’t even say two words to each other without blushing like idiots; Sehun and Taro had their first fight two days ago. No one’s doing great, everyone panics and makes mistakes, but when it matters everything works out for the best”

“Chen, how are you always so happy?”

“What?”

“You, you’re always so cheerful and funny. I’ve never even seen you shout”

“I’m not happy” Pinky looked up as Chen turned away; he didn’t move but his face was now aimed at the ceiling as if he were praying to God to give him advice. “Honestly I’m a mess right now. As with everything else going on Xiumin hyung told me something a few weeks ago and… honestly it’s killing me inside”

Pinky was shocked, moving out of his embrace she pulled Chen into one of her own; she wasn’t going to pressure him into telling her but she hoped he would.

“Can I confess something to you?”

“Of course”

“You’ll think badly of me after though”

“I doubt it”

“Ok… I’ve been sleeping with Sooyoung noona” Wait what? “It’s been on and off since this whole thing started. It’s always just been casual, you know? But Xiumin told me… he told me he heard Krystal telling Mink that she loved me”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“I don’t love her”

“Oh”

“But it didn’t stop me. We’re still… doing that, and I know I have to stop and confess but I can’t”

“Why? Why can’t you?”

“Because think how badly it could end.”

“If you don’t think how badly it could end”

“I just don’t want to be alone” Chen admitted, lowering his head onto his knees and gazing at the floor. “We started because neither of us wanted to be alone and so we hooked up. And now if the whole group hates me… I’ll be alone”

“Chen, no-one’s going to hate you. People may be mad but no-one will hate you”

“How do you know for certain?”

“I don’t but I’m 99.999% sure.”

“That’s stupid”

“You’re stupid”

“Hey!”

“Sooyoung may be upset but she’ll get over it, she’s a brave person. She’ll be fine; honestly I think she may have another suitor”

“Who?”

“Zitao” Both people on the floor jumped at DO’s voice. “I think Tao likes Sooyoung”

“H-hyung how long have you been there?”

“Since you two first sat on the floor”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was listening” Both stood up from the floor and looked away from DO, who sighed and moved towards the window. “DINNERS READY!” He called, alerting those in the parking lot and for about a mile’s radius of the fact. “You two shouldn’t worry. As Chen said everyone makes mistakes, it doesn’t matter in the long run. We’re a family, going through this together. We’ll pull through”

The two nodded at the elder’s comforting words before wiping their eyes and heading to the dining room table, where Lay and Haeng were already sitting, playfully shoving one another to see who got the best seat.

*******

“Sooyoung?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we talk for a second?”

“Sure” The girl smiled at Chen, blushing a little when he sat opposite her on the roof and held her hands in his.

“I-I. I think w-we sh-“

“You think we should stop” Chen looked up puzzled. Had someone else told her? Had she overheard them in the kitchen? “Chen it’s ok”

“A-are you sure?” He asked, noticing the tears that sprang to the girl’s eyes.

“Y-yes. Look when this started we made it clear to one another that it was only casual. So if you’re ready to stop, so am I” She smiled, but Chen wasn’t convinced.

“I heard that…”

“Well you heard wrong, I don’t have any extra feelings for you. Of course I love you but as a friend”

“Are you sure you’re ok with this?”

“Yah! You’re not some golden prize you know; women don’t require you in their lives. I’ll be fine”

“Noona. I-“

“Chen go. Seriously, I haven’t told many people about us so it’s all good. Now leave so I can enjoy the upset with your ugly face messing it up”

“Ok. See you later?”

“See you later” She laughed and waved Chen off and he shakily got to his feet and walked back downstairs to re-join the others.

As soon as the door closed Sooyoung let it out. Her tears began to flow freely down her face as she stifled the loud sobs that were crashing through her body. Chen wasn’t her type, not at all but since all this started, since they started she couldn’t help but think about him. She didn’t want to be alone.

“Noona?”

“Tao?”

“Noona please don’t cry”

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to speak to you”

“Oh” She stated simply, rubbing her tear stained cheeks and forcing a smile.

Tao sat beside her and the two watched as the sun disappeared behind the tall skyline of Seoul. Neither said anything, just enjoyed the sight and each other’s company.

“Have you ever been in love Tao?”

“Yes”

“Is it supposed to hurt?”

“It’s not love if it doesn’t”

“That’s what I thought” The silence fell again as the two continued to look over the now darkened city streets. “What’s the point of it?”

“Huh?”

“What’s the point of love? It attacks at a sporadic time, with someone completely unexpected and it hurts” Tao could only nod as Sooyoung continued to speak. “It feels like a kick in the stomach and it makes you act like a complete fool”

“That’s true but it’s great too”

“How?”

“The feeling of warmth you get when you’re beside them. When you see them happy, instantly the whole world is bright and colourful; and even when you know they’ll never feel the same for you, you still only want them to be happy, even if that’s with someone else”

Sooyoung looked at the Exo-M makanae. Tao refused to look at her and instead lowered his gaze to his own feet.

“So I guess we’re both in love with people who aren’t in love with us back?” Tao nodded, finally looking up into Sooyoung’s eyes. “It for the object of our affections too. I mean think how much they do love us… and how much it must hurt them to know that they’re the reason for our pain”

“But they shouldn’t”

“No they shouldn’t”

“Because thanks to that person, this how situation is being made better for us” Sooyoung was quiet as the makanae continued to speak right to her. “Because of them we’re willing to fight even harder to make sure they and the people they care about are safe”

“Love is a ”

“Most definitely”

They didn’t look away from one another as the silence once again descended.

“I’m sure, whoever she is; this girl feels terrible knowing how she’s making you feel… She wishes she could feel the same for you as you do her”

“I wish she did too”

Sooyoung nodded, her eyes filling with tears for the second time today.

“And I’m certain that whoever it is you love… wished he didn’t have to hurt you either”

“I know he does” Sooyoung smiled.

“What are you two love birds doing up here all alone?” Kai called from across the roof, Mink following suit with a cross-bow strapped to her back.

“We watched the sunset”

“Awwww how sweet” Kai mocked, before planting himself down facing the North of the building.

“How was it?” Mink asked

“Beautiful… and unattainable as always” Tao answered sadly, getting to his feet. He understood precisely what the younger girl was asking.

“Of course it’s unattainable… it’s the sun?” Kai said, confused at the stupidity of his hyung.

“Kai! We’ve got watch duty so I suggest you guys go get some sleep”

The two original roof dwellers left the roof leaving the other two up there. Approaching their separate rooms they smiled at one another before bidding each other goodnight and entering. Love was most definitely a .