They all look at me like I have no problems at all. Like I’m the most carefree girl ever. But I’m not. They said I’m perfect. But I’m not.

“Look at her hair… It looks like naturally perfect.. I wish I had her hair”

“Did you hear she got straight A’s on her report card 10 years in a row?”

“I heard her parents are willing to buy whatever she wants, but she doesn’t like them wasting their money on her”

“They say that all the guys liked her last year”

“Wow… her clothes are so nice”

“She’s kinda…. Perfect you know?”

My lifeless cold eyes just look straight ahead of me and nowhere else.  But then I realize the hallways are crowded with people as they immediately make a path for me to walk through. I see waves and hear hey’s and hi’s. As I quickly snap back to reality, I just give out the regular fake smiles and half-hearted waves bowing to almost every person I see in the hall.

“See, I told you. She’s nice and all that, even during a Monday morning”

“Is she wearing makeup?”

It was the same things every day that I heard in the halls of Changmin High. I rubbed my tired red eyes from the work I finished from yesterday.  I tried to block everyone else in my mind but it was physically impossible.

“I guess she isn’t”

“What? How’d you know?”

“Coz her mascara or eyeliner didn’t smudge”

“Maybe it’s the expensive kind that’s super strong.”

“Trust me, I know”

“Prove it”

“I’m her best friend and been in and out her house more than you’ve been to school”

That last thing I heard was a heavy sigh and footsteps coming my way. I leaned my head against my locker and from the corner of my eye I saw a black blur. I felt someone my hair, but I was too lazy to stop whoever it was. Maybe it was-

By the squeaks and giggles from the girls behind me, I could tell who was doing my hair. With my finger, I counted down. 3……. 2…..-

“Alright. I’m done. Perfect mermaid braid for this morning”

I turned around to see none other than, my best friend. His face glowed from he sunlight through the windows. He really did have a baby face. His lips were pinker than mine and his bright smile stunned me for a moment.

“Luhan, what’d I tell you about doing my hair?” I asked as I crossed my and looked straight at him.

“Idunno. Don’t remember you saying anything about that. Anyways, your mom told me to tell you that she and your dad wouldn’t be home tonight. Press con-“

I cut him off by filling the sentence in for him “Fujutashi’s press conference meeting for the 2013 project. I saw on the calendar”

That moment of silence wasn’t awkward for us. For many people it was. They’d probably fill it in with saying some nonsense like “soo….” Or “what’s up..” Luhan knew more than anyone that I had to save my energy for after school. He knew I wouldn’t speak if I didn’t feel the need to. He knew I was…. Kinda tired. Tired of my life.

The class went totally silent after Luhan and I walked in. Eyes were all on me and I did the usual. Bowed and smiled my best. I saw some guys with their gooey smiles and some girls just dazed with Luhan. Ms.Kim did a slight bow to me and I handed in my usual entry for the class. I was selected last year, to write a reflection on life, every week. It had to be 5 pages and the others would have to write a response or reflection to it. I finished it in 15 minutes, so I hope they don’t judge that much.

The reflection was just a waste of my time. Everything I wrote was lies, but I knew I had to write it to be at the top of the class. Everyone didn’t even understand the truths of things. They couldn’t even tell the fantasies from reality. Naïve children filled the place where they rumoured to be filled with “matured teenagers”. Everything was either lies, fake or stuff that I didn’t care about.

It was mid November  and -3 degree Celsius. All I did in class was lean my head on the cold desk and look out in the snow. There was no point in me listening since I’d either learned this in my tutoring class or just by concept.  Like in math, where there was nothing for me to learn. I’d already memorized all the formulas when I was 10 and the other stuff was basically fill in the blank with the numbers. Before I dozed off, I saw, or at least, I think I saw, white fluffs outside. Was it snowing or did I have some eye infection? Who knows…..

I felt warms hands gently grab my thighs and lifted me up. His hands felt familiar. I laid my head against his back and the scent of his shampoo filled my nose and I fell asleep again.

I woke up in the art room where my carrier was playing the piano. Moonlight Sonanta. The song for my grade 7 piano exam for the RCM. I laid by the window with Luhan’s coat over me. I was awake but I kept my eyes close and just listened to him play.

“You missed the C sharp” I sharply interrupted his miraculous playing.

“Morning sleeping lazy bum” And he corrected himself.

I couldn’t sleep forever. Although the teachers didn’t care, I still had to show a good impression because I was the daughter of some big company’s President.

“So from 3am yesterday to this morning’s 6:30am, you actually slept?” He asked as he played.

I nodded feeling cramps in my stomach. He knew when I didn’t answer, it was a yes.

“Wow big improvement. 3 and a half hours. Usually, it’s just 2 or 1” He stopped playing when his phone rang.

Of course, his ringtone had to be some SNSD song. Last week it was Mr.Taxi. This time it was The Boys.

I stared out at the window and saw a sheet of white covering the whole street and beyond. My breath fogged up the glass. My cramps were back.

“Luhan, where’s m-“

He pointed behind the piano. I grabbed my bag and went to the washroom. . My period started. Good thing I brought pads.

I left Luhan with his phone conversation and headed down the stairs to my English Literature class. My cramps really reacted, but it was the norm since I’ve always had the worse cramps during that time of month. I quickly tried to grab my pain relief pills, then the whole hallway started spinning. And I saw nothing, but black along with a bang on my head.