Your POV

Ugh, I plop down on the practice room floor too see my team members looking at me with hatred in their eyes.

“What now?” I groan as I sit up.

Maybe they are mad that I’m the leader.

They try to start a fight with me because some stupid rumor had gone around last week that I’m only here because of my brother, Wonbin, and Seunghyun.

They are right in one way without the three of them I wouldn’t be standing here.

My brother helped save me as a kid.

Wonbin helped me go through tough times when he was afraid too talk too my brother from when I 1st met him to a year or 2 ago.  

Now Seunghyun cause I can’t talk with JJ or Wonbin without wanting to bash their heads in a good thing is Wonbin left a week ago so it’s less of a headache.

Though Seunghyun I feel like I’ve been bonding with him a lot more than I ever did with Wonbin and well I wouldn’t compare what I feel for Seunghyun too what I feel for my brother.  

I sigh as I look over at door to see that all of FT Island is standing at the door looking pissed off.

“Are you starting again, because last time I checked you promised to drop this when she beat every single one of you in that stupid dance batter you held last week,” jaejin growls at them.

I sigh as I lean… hit the back of my head against the wall, “JJ, knock it off. Maybe it’s cause you always have too stop in when you guys are done practicing you have to stop too see how I’m doing.”

My brother rolls his eyes, “What are you going to do about Juilliard?”

I look at him surprised that he even knows about it, “Video calling. The school promised to let me do that as long as i dont’ cheat.”

“Liar,” Minhwan mumbles and I sigh again hitting my head against the wall.

“I’m training here,” i tell them.

“Yet, you haven’t signed a contract that you can’t go there. It’s 4 years.”

I want ot fight with him last time I heard it’s only going to be a few amount of years I broke up with the guy I was dating… Alright that was for different reasons.

“I can see what I can do,” I mumble.

The thing is I can dance what they teach me here and all, but I no longer can put all my feelings into my dancing like I used too.

I’ve lost all inspiration.

“Look you were accepted, but registration isn’t for another few months. How about you try to figure things out and see how you like it?”

I look at my brother and slowly I nod my head, “Alright. We have a deal. How will we start?”

“Start with telling the company.”

I don’t argue with my brother I find it helps keep headaches away.

We finally make it back to the dorm too realize that I had spent over 2 hours listening to my brother talk with whoever and I realize that I have 2 months to decide if I’m going to Juilliard.

I open my laptop and send the email too the dean of Juilliard. I explain my situation and that i will give them a defiant answer by the end of May.

I sit back and look at the email as i click send.

Seunghyun pokes its head into my room and asks, “so did you send it?”

“What?”

“An email to Juilliard explaining everything.”

i nod my head and he sighs as he walks in and sits in the chair by my desk.

‘What’s the problem?”

I look at Seunghyun and say, “Seunghyun… have you ever lost the will to come up with songs and that on your own?’

“Inspiration or the drive?’

“Either one,” I answer.

“Once, but i made friends with FT Island and Jungshin of CNBLUE. I started to work with FT Island and met the fans. Then when I was kind of harrassed on messaged boards being blamed I lost hope in myself. When i was finally accepted by the Primadonna’s I was really happy. I also was able to write and compose songs again. Though i know there are still maybe a few fans who are still sore about me. Though Wonbin has been doing fine without us.”

“I didn’t have anything like that happen. this happened shortly after I talked to Juilliard for the first time. I realized that I was dancing robotically and now I just wish that I could dance like I used too when i started. I wanted too feel the passion again, but this time I didn’t find it like I did before.

“What made you want to be a dancer?”

I smile as I look at the sky and answer him, “It was when i was 7 years old. I ended up being stuck at home sick and there was nothing too watch. I pulled out some old videos and found some of recorded famous ballerinas dancing. I remember watching them dancing with such grace and i wished I was like them. there world seemed so peaceful. It was Swan Lake that I decided I was going to be a ballerina since the woman seemed to be happy by the end with her prince even with all the troubles. Or the Nutcracker is another favorite of mine.”

“Ahh I think we have one of those ballet’s here in Seoul how about we try to go see it.”

“We don’t need too,” I tell him purely worried about him getting in there.

“Don’t worry about all of this.”

“Trust me when i say this it’s the same price in New York   and all over the world for 2 tickets while here for plays and such it’s just 1.”

He looks at me and asks, “How do you know that?”

“I studied there for a few summers.”

“Really?”

“Yea, I even went there for a school year which was really hard to work with.”

Though i did twice the homework that I was supposed too so nothing would be messed up.  

“Still it might help you figure out what you loved so much about it.”

I chuckle slightly as I nod my head, “Alright. Will the guys come with us?”

Seunghyun’s POV

When she asks if the guys are coming I feel my heart clench but I shrug acting like it was nothing, “I’m not sure.”

I guess now I’ll have to ask the guys if they’d want to go, because even if I lie it won’t matter she’ll end up asking them again.

I sigh as I walk into the living room too sere everyone.

I sit down and look at JJ, “You’re sister was wondering if you guys would like to ballet.”

he looked at me and then looked at the tv, “Do we really have time like that.”

Jaejin is acting weird.

“Jaejin, what’s up with you today? You didn’t even think about it?”

He looks up and looks at me, “doesn’t matter if i agree to take her since you’ll do it anyways.”

“Jaejin, this is your baby sister. Shouldn’t it be you too help her decide if she will go to Juilliard or become an idol.”

He looks at me surprised, “What?”

“Your sister is trying to look for her inspiration again much like when she was a little kid.”

He smiles as he looks at me, “She used to watch ballet on the TV and mimic them. She’d fall down only to pull herself back up. Only time she stopped was when she hurt her leg. she cried for days complaining that it’d be the end of her dancing days. She was only 8 at the time.”

I chuckle as I sit down, “Instead of taking her too a ballet how about some non professional performances. Those are always easy to find and she could talk with the people.”

We all deicde that tomorrow we’ll take her out and see if we can find any street performances.