Under the cherry blossom, you and I sat side by side. Slowly, the distance between our lips decreased. My heart beat fast like a volcano about to erupt. Just a little bit more and our lips will touch.

The alarm set out a loud cry waking me up startled. I didn’t even got the chance to kiss him, was my first thought before I finally shut off the annoying thing. I stayed in bed recalling the dream as I touch my lips.

It surprised me when I heard some noise outside my room. Alarmed, I stood up and reached for the baseball bat beside my bed. It has always been there, just in case.

I gradually crept to the door. Wiping off the sweat on my forehead, I turned the knob cautiously peeping through the small opening. I found myself staring straight to the kitchen’s direction and there you are the man in my dreams. You stood by the stove, your back facing me.

I set the bat down in guilt before stepping outside my room. You spanned to my direction with your refreshing angel smile. My day haven’t even started but you and your smile, it has been completed. Yes, you’re the only one and always will complete my day.

“What are you doing here?” I asked with a cold voice. I had been trying for the last second to find the sweetest voice I could ever have but I just couldn’t. I really don’t know how to talk sweet since I knew from the start that it doesn’t suit me.

But just like any other time I use that tone of voice, you just ignored it and look at me straight in the eyes. Usually you would smile and carry on with the conversation, but this time you took a step forward and decided to tell what you’ve been feeling all along, “Do you know why I always stare in your eyes after you use that kind of tone to me?—It’s because they’re honest. Your voice may sound cold but your eyes say otherwise. Can you be more honest on how you feel? You should show how you really feel sometimes.”

I wanted to close my eyes, maybe with that you would stop figuring out what I really feel. Because if you did, I’m afraid our friendship might end. That’s why I chose to love you in silence because in silence there’s no rejection.

“What do you mean?” I pretended to be innocent.

I thought I saw a somewhat disappointed in yours eyes even though you grinned at me like a child in response. I wanted to take back what I’ve said even though you acted like you didn’t care. Before I could manage to talk you dragged me to the kitchen counter, “Taadaa~! I’ve made you breakfast!”

The counter that has always been empty every morning is filled with mouthwatering food.

“You did all of these?” I asked in surprise.

As a response, you showed me your hand with fingers wrapped in band-aids.

“Seriously, be careful,” I tried to sound worried. I really am worried but my voice didn’t sound like it. “Maybe next time you cook, call me so we can cut our fingers together.”

You looked at me for a brief moment and laughed, “ Aigoo my Jonghoonie’s just dropped a humorous comment!”

Jonghoonie. I sighed. I should really get used to it. He’s really not going to drop that nickname.

“It wasn’t meant to be a joke,” I explained as I sat next to the counter and started shoving food in my mouth.

You were still laughing when you sat opposite to me. You propped your elbow on the table and leaned your face on your hand as your eyes set on me.

“What?” I asked when I noticed your silence for a while.

“Mmm…well I want to ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“Since one of our members quit, I thought it would be great to have you in the band.”

I narrowed my eyes, “So you made me breakfast because you want to bribe me into joining your band?”

You grinned, “It depends on how you look at it.”

“I refuse,” I answered not because of disappointment but more of lack of confidence.

“But—“

“Anyway how did you get in my house?”

“Oh that, I actually slept here. I got your keys from your landlord. I had a hard time convincing her but when I tried to flirt my way around her, she gave up to my iness. I bet she will be more caring to you if you trying seducing her. If I could then you could too. We both know you’re more good looking than me and—YA! You’re changing the topic! I’m asking you, no actually I’m insisting you to join our band.”

The word ‘good-looking’ rang my ears. Blood rushed to my ears.

“It would be a waste if you continue to hide your talent. It’s time for you to flab those wings out,” you smiled reassuringly.

Once again, you convinced me into something I really like to do but couldn’t because of lack of confidence.

I wonder if you find out my feelings, would you still act the same?

~~

“Everyone this is my best friend, Jonghoon. From now on, he will be our lead guitarist.”

Best friend. Yes, that’s all I will be. Your best friend.

Setting aside my thoughts, I bowed down to the younger members of the band, Jaejin, Minhwan and Seunghyun.

They welcomed me sincerely just like the first time you entered my life. But no one could out run you when it comes to the warmth you gave me every day. You are my sun and without you, my life would be as cold as the winter season.