Youngjae yawned and got up. He tapped into the bathroom.

It was a Saturday in late July and the sun flooded into his room.

He was alone at home, his mother was at work. His father had been barely at home for the last years and Youngjae was ok with it since his parents would only fight and he couldn’t stand their arguments.

He decided to take a shower and eat something before visiting Daehyun.

He hurried up and smiled excited by the thought of Daehyun.

He had expected Daehyun to act awkward after sleeping with him, but he didn’t. In fact, they had become closer than ever.

When Youngjae visited him, they barely talked. It was more holding hands, caressing each other and kissing.

There was no need for words, they understood each other without them.

But sometimes Youngjae would bring a guitar along and they would either sing together or Daehyun would sing for him.

Youngjae jumped as his mobile phone suddenly rang. He just got dressed and was about making breakfast.

“Hello?”, he said.

“Y-Youngjae, it’s me”, his mother’s voice said. Youngjae put down the tea cup.

“Mom?”

Her voice sounded weak, trembling.

“Mom!”, Youngjae said louder. “What happened?”

He could hear her breathing, how she tried to calm down.

“Daehyun... is not feeling well”, she whispered.

Youngjae stared at the wall for seconds until the message sunk in.

He grabbed his jacket and put on some shoes, while running outside.

“I’m coming”, he said and jumped into the next bus. He hung up and covered his eyes.

God, please, I’m begging you let him live. Please, I want to see him. Just one more time, one last time.

It was like there were more traffic jams than usually and the bus moved slower than ever.

Youngjae was so annoyed that he could feel the tears burning in his eyes.

It was pure torture to stand in the overcrowded bus and couldn’t do anything but wait.

When the bus stopped at the hospital’s station he pushed everyone aside and nearly fell out of the bus.

He ran to the entrance, pushed doors open, climbed the stairs in record time, bumped into a nurse, but didn’t help her up and just apologized breathlessly.

He reached the second floor and stopped slithering at the room 220.

The room was empty.

“Youngjae!”, someone called him. Soft hands shook him.

“Come with me. He’s at the intensive care unit”, his mother’s voice pulled him back to reality.

“It’s ok. He’s ok”, she whispered and dragged him along through the corridors. Youngjae blinked.

It was far too much to take, although it had happened before, just 2 months ago. It felt like a horrible déjà-vu.

“He’s alive?”, he asked weakly. His mother nodded.

“Why did you...?”, he asked on, when they stopped in front of a door.

“His leukemia is in the Accelerated Phase, you know that”, his mother said quietly.

“I know! But... what do we do now?”, Youngjae asked. His voice shook by fear.

“Mom!”

She looked down and he could see tears rolling down her face.

“You can visit him for a few minutes. Visitors actually aren’t allowed, but... just go inside”, she whispered and turned around.

Youngjae pushed the door open. It was a room with 6 beds. The second on the right had a sign with Daehyun’s name.

He walked slowly towards the bed. They young man lying there looked a lot more than the little boy back then, 10 years ago.

His face wasn’t just pale, it was more than that. The thousand monitors around his bed hummed quietly.

Daehyun’s eyes twitched but didn’t open.

Youngjae could have cried. He hadn’t realized how much weight Daehyun had lost.

He was afraid of touching him, he looked like he would break at a single touch. Youngjae stood there for a long time, just staring at him.

Feeling sorry and bad that he wasn’t able to help him. And then starting to wonder how Daehyun could still be so beautiful.

“Yah! No visitors”, a strict voice brought him back to reality. “Oh, Youngjae...”.

He turned around and saw one of the nurses that was very close friends with his mother. She tried to smile, but it looked like a grimace.

“I-I’m so sorry...”, she said. Youngjae bit his lips and rushed out of the room.

Daehyun returned 3 days later back to his usual room.

Youngjae hadn’t gone home or to school for these 3 days, he wasn’t allowed to see Daehyun at that time.

But he stayed at the hospital and refused to leave. He didn’t care about skipping school. He didn’t care for anything and so his mother let him stay.

When Daehyun woke up, Youngjae who had waited for a long time in his room, started crying.

He wanted to hug him, kiss him, but he didn’t because he didn’t want cause more pain to Daehyun. But somehow Daehyun smiled.

“I missed you”, he whispered. His voice was like a soft breeze.

Youngjae stepped closer and gently Daehyun’s face.

“I was so scared...”, Youngjae said and wiped away his tears.

“Sorry”, Daehyun murmured. Youngjae leaned in and his lips planted a kiss onto his forehead.

It felt like a butterfly’s wing. Daehyun smiled again.

“Don’t worry, I’m ok now”, he said with a husky voice. Youngjae didn’t believe him though.

He would touch Daehyun so carefully as if he was made out of glass.

And although Daehyun wanted to hug him properly he was grateful for Youngjae’s soft care.

Daehyun couldn’t deny the pain boiling inside him and was relieved that he didn’t need to talk or explain.

Youngjae seemed to understand, he just knew how to treat him.

The following days were quiet. Although Daehyun insisted he felt better, Youngjae knew better.

Daehyun couldn’t sit or move, so he would lie in the bed and Youngjae would bring whatever he needed.

“I will be mad at you if you don’t kiss me, Youngjae”, Daehyun complained quietly. Youngjae chuckled.

“I’m not that weak!”, Daehyun added.

Youngjae leaned in and kissed him softly.

“You won’t be mad at me”, Youngjae whispered.

“I won’t...”, Daehyun sighed. Youngjae shook his head.

“Daehyun, I’m sorry”, he started.

“Youngjae... I would have pulled you down by now to kiss you, but I can’t even hug you properly anymore. So can you do me a favor?”, he asked, ignoring what Youngjae had said.

Youngjae looked at him and caressed his hair.

“Can you kiss me again?”, Daehyun begged. “I want to kiss you more...”.

Youngjae smiled and lowered his head to kiss him again. Their lips moved slowly against each other.

                                                                             ***

 “The sun”, Daehyun murmured. Youngjae looked up.

“It’s so nice outside. I want to feel the sun on my skin again”, he whispered. Youngjae bit his lip.

“I can ask the doctor. Maybe we can go outside a little bit. Tomorrow...”, he said hesitatingly.

It was July already and the weather was indeed nice.

Youngjae knew Daehyun wouldn’t be able to leave this room, but he felt like he had to give him the last bit of hope that was left.

“The sun rises everyday... just to set again. Every night. Over and over again. The sun never gets tired of it... Youngjae, do you think...
  one day the sun won’t rise again?”, Daehyun asked.

He breathed heavily. Youngjae opened his mouth and closed it again. He thought for a long time about it.

“It’s more amazing how the sky  - where the sun rises - will never touch the earth, but is still bonded so close to her.

  They long for each other, don’t you think? But they never give up, they stay together and sometimes when it rains or when the snow falls,

   it’s like the sky will hug the earth for a short time”, Youngjae said.

Daehyun closed his eyes. “That sounds good...”, he murmured.

“I will be there, forever”, Youngjae said quietly.

“I will be, too. I will never leave you”, Daehyun whispered.

Youngjae tried to hold back his tears, but at the next blink they were already rolling down his cheeks.

“Promise me, Daehyun”, he begged.

“Hmm?”, Daehyun hummed.

“Promise to wait for me and to never forget me”, Youngjae said.

“How could I ever forget you? I will wait for you, Youngjae. I will love you forever”, Daehyun murmured. He opened his eyes.

“I will love you, too... forever”, Youngjae cried.

“Don’t say that. I want you to become happy, I don’t want you to suffer. I feel terrible for making you cry”, Daehyun said.

“Since I know you, I live for the day. I don’t think about what will happen in the future, I never think about the future. There’s just hope...
  Don’t feel bad for me, I’m happy. I couldn’t be happier than I am with you. There will be never someone else”, Youngjae whispered.

They didn’t talk for the rest of the day.

Youngjae would softly Daehyun’s hand as they watched the sun setting and painting the whole room into a warm golden red color.

“Youngjae?”, Daehyun said quietly. Youngjae looked at him, he didn’t need to say it out loud.

He leaned over and kissed him. Slowly, but passionately.

“Thank you”, Daehyun whispered.

His lips twitched and he smiled. He closed his eyes.

It went completely silent so that Youngjae started worrying. But Daehyun just fell asleep.

Youngjae didn’t leave his side, he held his hand and watched the shadows grow longer and the sky darken into a black blue.

It was late in the evening when Daehyun woke up again.

His voice trembled as he called Youngjae’s name.

“I’m here”, Youngjae said quietly. Daehyun turned his head so he could look at him.

He smiled. He didn’t look away, he didn’t let go of his hand. Youngjae got lost in Daehyun’s gaze and smiled, when Daehyun opened his mouth again.

“Youngjae”.

The room went silent, for seconds. Then a high bleep broke the silence, the tone Youngjae had always been afraid of.

The hand in Youngjae’s felt heavier. Youngjae’s eyes widened.

“No... No”, he said. He got up.

“Daehyun!”, he called him. His eyes hadn’t lost the gentleness and love, but their warmth.

“DAEHYUN!”, he screamed.

It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t have happened. No...     

Cool hands pulled him back. The room spun before his eyes.

The doctor’s voice sounded far away. The world should stop. Why did no one stop moving and talking?

The nurses and the doctor ran through the room, it was all hectic.

Then finally everyone stopped. The room fell silent again and softer, warmer hands, his mother’s hands, pulled Youngjae out of there, but he still heard it.

“Onset of death 10 pm...”

I will add a short epilouge later today...

Thank you for sticking with this story to its end <3

Thank you for reading and commenting!!

I was listening to "Time spent walking through memories" by Nell while writing this story, it became the sound of this story.

So if you're interested, chek it out. I love this song.