“I had a hard time finishing that one!” Minhyun exclaimed that made me jolt a bit. He suddenly appears beside me and the both of us look at the final requirement he passed for our art subject when we were 1st year high school.

“But it’s really beautiful Minhyun-sshi.” I told him to show how I admire his work. I didn’t have the chance to see his work back then because of the unexpected things that had happened.

“Yours is really beautiful too, JR-sshi. Well, you’ve got to practice each parts so the ending product’s bizarre. I wanted you to draw me like that too. Oh well, it’s okay.” Minhyun said, wearing that sad face again. For a second I thought that he’s still not over the rejection I caused back when we are in high school but he immediately erased that face when I told him “I am sorry, Minhyun-sshi.”

“Oh! No no no, why are you taking everything seriously, JR-sshi? I am only teasing you. I think you need to rest now, you’re just tired, and oh! Aren’t you excited that you’re going to meet Ren tomorrow?”

With that he drags me to Ren’s room. After he’s sure that I don’t need anything he leaves me inside. Strong waves of emotions and memories hit me as I lie down on the familiar bed again. The scent of strawberry still lingers on the sheets and I smile as I remember how Ren smelled exactly the same way back then.

That date in the amusement park turned out to be the day I became certain of what I really feel. It’s funny how the person who likes me made me realize a thing I should’ve realized before. I was so dumb, or maybe I was in denial that my first love happened to be someone who I never even dreamed of. I mean, everything that’d happened were weird, Minhyun said he likes me, and then it turned out that I like Ren. I never imagined that someone will be gay because of me and I will be gay because of someone else. I don’t have anything against gay people but for a 16 year-old teenager it’s really hard to accept something like that. Maybe that’s why it took me so long to sort out my feelings. But as soon as I heard it from Minhyun that I like or love Ren all of my doubts disappeared. I was so happy that finally, everything’s clear as it was supposed to be.

After the Ferris wheel ride Minhyun and I bought something to eat before we went home.  As soon as I entered our room I saw a serious Ren sitting in front of his study table looking at something. When I went behind him I saw that he’s looking at the final requirement for our art class.

“Seriously JR, I am not good at this. What am I going to do?” he asked, still looking at the paper like he’s waiting for it to burn.

“Oh. Yeah. Welcome back.”

“That answer really helped me.”

“Eh, I haven’t seen you for a day, I’m just glad you’re here again.” I replied, and after I realized what I’ve said I felt like my face heat up. I could swear I look like a tomato’s son that moment.

“Oh, seriously. I missed you too JR.” Ren said smiling. He really chose the wrong moment to look at me because I felt that I blushed harder if it’s still possible when our eyes met. “Oh, I brought something from Busan, for you—“

“YA CHOI MINKI! Why didn’t you tell me that you’re going back to Busan? I should’ve joined you!” said Minhyun who suddenly barged inside the room with the food in his hands. I really thanked the Heavens because I really wouldn’t be able to handle the weird thing I was feeling and I might just explode in front of Ren. But Ren’s saying something, right?

“…and Minhyun.” Ren continued and for a moment I noticed that he was quite disappointed, of what, that I know nothing of.

“Yes Ren, what’s that?” Minhyun asked as he approached my small study table where he placed the food.

“I said I have something for you, from Busan.” Ren said. With that we started eating and talking about the things Ren missed for the past day that he’s not around. However, no one dared to speak about what happened on the amusement park. It’s like both of us, Minhyun and I, agreed that we should not utter a single word about it. I was worried for Minhyun, what if he was badly hurt by the rejection? If he was, he’s a good, no, great actor for hiding what he really felt. He’s still a bouncing ball of sunshine like before. His smiles still had a great effect on me, he’s still as noisy as before, he seemed like nothing bad or sad happened. He’s still Minhyun. When they noticed that I was spacing out, Ren tapped my shoulder and Minhyun asked what was wrong with me.

“I’m fine.” I said and gave them an assuring smile, which, I supposed, failed to convince them.

“Okay. It’s getting dark, I think I need to go back to my room now. Ren, thanks for the doll. I have plenty of it at home but I failed to bring one with me. Now I miss my Busan house.” Minhyun said and he stood up. When he reached the door, Ren pushed me and said “Where’s the man in you? Won’t you walk Minhyun home?”

“Oh—“

“Ah yes, what’s wrong with me. Wait Minhyun-sshi, let me walk you home.” I said purposely cutting what Minhyun’s about to say. He nodded and together we left Ren inside our room.

I wanted to ask Minhyun a lot of questions that’s why I decided to walk with him to his dorm building. We walked in silence for a while before the first word was uttered.

“What is it, JR-sshi?” Minhyun asked, giving me a very worried look.

“I’m fine Minhyun-sshi, what about you? Are you okay?” I asked.

“Of course JR-sshi, you’re worrying over nothing, believe me. I noticed your worried glances a while ago. Don’t be like that, okay? I’m really fine.” Minhyun said while nodding his head. He really seemed okay but…

“Why?” I was really stupid for asking that. I didn’t know if I should just believe Minhyun or if I should seek answers for the questions joggled inside my mind. Unintentionally I asked him why. I really didn’t mean to be so loud but he heard it anyway. He held my shoulders and looked straight into my eyes.

“JR-sshi, if a person rejects you, being grumpy isn’t the only reaction you will have. I knew all along that I’m not the one you like so I’m prepared for the consequences my confession will give me. I am sad, but I am a lot happier because I helped you figure your feelings out. I’m happy because you’ve been honest with me too and I felt that you really care for me.” He said and gave me a sweet smile.

I smiled at him too before saying, “I believe you.”

His smile grew wider after I said those words. “Umm, JR-sshi, can I ask a favor?” he asked and I eagerly nodded. “Can I hug you? I mean… uhh yes?”

He seemed really shy while asking for a hug. One wouldn’t hurt, right? And he’s my friend, it’s normal for friends to hug each other. I told him yes and then he pulled me to a hug. While hugging I said, “Thank you for not changing, Minhyun-sshi. Thank you.”

We continued to walk to his dorm building in a comfortable silence. When we reached his dorm he immediately said his goodbye and went inside. When I couldn’t see him anymore I started to walk back to my dorm. However, on my third step, I heard someone shout “JR-sshi!” Without even looking I knew that it’s Minhyun. When I looked back, I saw him standing not a bit far away from me.

“Yes?”

“Maybe, maybe I didn’t change because I was feeling the same since the first day I met you? Don’t get me wrong, maybe from the day I saw you I knew that you’ll play a special role in my life. And I don’t want you to get hurt too. Life’s too short to be as dumb as that JR-sshi. Time won’t wait for you. Ohh, so, hwaiting!” and with that he flew back inside the building.

He’s right, time definitely won’t stop for anybody. I need to act as soon as possible. But first I need to ask Ren if it’s okay for him to model for me. Or maybe I’ll just surprise him when I finished the drawing? I thought of the art project until I arrive in our dorm room. The time I spent from walking wasn’t enough for me to decide on the thing so I shrugged the thoughts for the meantime.

Ren was concentrated on his table fixing some photos when I arrived. He didn’t even raise his head to greet me when I entered the room but he’s always like that. I went behind him and saw that those were photos I didn’t see before.

“Where was that taken from?” I asked.

“From Busan. I have it developed before I go back.”

“You studied photography, right? Because these are very good.” I said pointing at the photos on the table.

“You think so?”

“Yep! Ah! Do you have something to do for the art project?” I asked. Then I realized that I wouldn’t have an answer if ever he’d ask me what I would do. He seemed to think first before answering, “I think I’ll do photography, since you said these are good. If I fail I’ll blame you.”

“Oh? Why blame me?”

“Because you praised my work, that’s why I decided on doing photography. You’ll paint right? Or sketch? I’m pretty sure you’ll draw.”

“That’s all I can do, of course I will.”

He just nodded in response and I watched him fix the photos until I got tired. I washed and get ready to sleep while he’s still immersed in doing whatever in his photos. He was still doing that when I lied down on my bed. He finished after I faced the wall for a couple of minutes.

I was so tired that sleeping wasn’t hard unlike the other days. Playing in the amusement park sure drained my energy. When I was half-asleep, Ren asked me if I was already sleeping. I hummed in response. He then asked, “What is it like to be kissed JR?”

Sleepiness ran away as I heard Ren’s question. I honestly didn’t know what to answer so I said I don’t know.

“Haven’t you and Minhyun kissed yet?”

I immediately jolted up after his question. What’s with Ren that night? He was so weird and all. He was always weird, but not this weird. He’d always ask random questions, but not this random. I didn’t answer him for a long time that he thought I was already sleeping. I let him think so, so that I could escape from the question. However, the next things he said bugged me the whole night that I was not able to sleep at all.

“I want you to be with me on the photo, JR-sshi. Right, I’ll ask you properly when we wake up. Sweet dreams.”

I am lying on Ren’s bed not moving an inch for quite some time now that when I tried to stand up, the bones on my back made some popping sound. I need to lie down properly before I sleep. Right, I need to sleep, I need to look decent in front of Ren later. After I fixed myself on the bed, I drift away from reality with a smile on my face.

---

Late and lame update. I'm so sorry! I started writing this 3 days ago but I always stop because I can't think of anything. Thank God I was able to finish this today... not much of JRen interaction but will probably have a lot next chapter. Thank you for reading, commenting and subscribing. ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I never thought I'll reach 10+ subscribers that's why I'm so happy. Still undecided about the ending of this but this will end. ㅋㅋㅋ

Here's pre-debut Ren for you. [Credits: nuestsg, SBS and pledisboysclub]

Isn't he squishy. ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

nowplaying: 눈물이 주르륵 (Dripping Tears) - Son Dam Bi