He looked at Namjoo whose eyes widened and were only staring at the soup confused by what just happened. He was afraid to hurt her pride and her feelings if he said anything so he offered her another spoonful, and waited for her to eat.

“I don’t want it.” Namjoo turned away perplexed.

“Just have a bite,” he compromised, “you need something in your system.”

Kris waited after urging her and after some time she finally turned to take a bite of the soup. Satisfied he set the soup aside and they sat in silence. He ran his eyes over her and almost contemplated about whether he should take her back with him. Then he realized Organization One might be the death of her and if Luhan ever saw her there, he’d go mad. Even if Organization One was the last place anyone would go to on earth, at least it was a place that offered shelter and good food. Namjoo lacked those two necessities.

“Do you…want to go home?” Kris asked out of the blue. If home could do better things for her than staying here could, he’d find a way for her to go back. “If you want to go home, I’ll take you home.” He would do it for her as long as she was happy.

Namjoo drew her knees up to her chest and looked depressed, “I don’t want to go home.”

He hadn’t expected that. “What about your family?”

Kris was sure there were people waiting for her. For a person like Namjoo, he knew there were people who wanted her back.

Her face stilled and pained, “My parents can take care of each other. They’ll be ashamed of me if I go back.”

“Why would they? They’re your parents.” Kris tried to understand her but he didn’t know where she was coming from.

Namjoo only blinked her eyes for a long duration of time, “Because…” then her eyes welled up with tears, “I killed people.”

She shouldn’t have told him. Why was she being so honest? Why hadn’t she caught on to the fact that he was a suspicious person? Why was she being so honest?

His lips fell apart and his heart immediately went out to her. The need to hug her or comfort her or something surged through him, but he was afraid of rejection. He’d seen her hold a gun, but he couldn’t imagine her shooting it at others. It was dumb for him to wonder about what she’d been forced into when she was out there, he knew exactly what she had had to do. And he could imagine how it killed someone soft like her inside. Luhan had said before that Namjoo didn’t have a hard shell like many of them. This, he was starting to believe more and more.

“I wish someone would kill me,” Namjoo sobbed.

“What are you doing? Shoot.”

He remembered ordering Luhan to pull the trigger on who he didn’t know was Namjoo just a few weeks ago. Kris could only wonder how shocked Luhan was when he’d seen her with the government coup. And he had ordered Luhan to kill her. If Luhan resented him for that, he most definitely understood why.

Then to hear that Namjoo wanted to die caused an ache somewhere inside. Why had someone so innocent been forced into this? Why did seeing her like this make him feel so different? Why did he feel sad too? Why did he feel helpless in front of her?

Reaching his hand out hesitantly and a little slowly, he wiped the tears off her face with his thumb. She glanced at him and reached up to clutch onto his hand before lowering her head to continue crying. He could only watch her guiltily.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

D—“:

Dae Suk was first to greet Victoria when she returned. He had been standing near the entrance of the woods as if he were on the lookout for someone. Whatever he was up to, Victoria didn’t feel interested in finding out.

He didn’t look amused at the sight of her, more like stupefied and shocked.

“Why are you still here?”

Victoria stopped to look at him, “What does me being here have to do with you?”

He looked at her shirt and the sweater before saying, “Looks like you’re coming from somewhere. That doesn’t look like Kris’ sweater.”

Victoria frowned.

“Looks like you two are alike in many ways,” Dae Suk commented, “I hope you two have fun while it lasts.”

She didn’t like him and most right now she didn’t like the way he was talking. When he turned around she grabbed onto his shoulder to twist him back to face her.

“Say that again,” Victoria demanded, “you know something, don’t you?”

“Oh? Me?” asked Dae Suk. “What would I know? Isn’t Kris your minion?”

“What about Kris?” Victoria asked through gritted teeth.

“Who knows.”

“You better spit it before I add another definition of hideous to your face.”

Dae Suk narrowed his eyes angrily before they were interrupted.

“Victoria!” it was Luhan.

Dae Suk immediately pulled out of her hold and turned around to a halt. Luhan was not far off from him. With one glance at Luhan he scurried off as if in fear.

“What’s with his face?” Victoria asked when they walked toward each other. “Looks like someone beat him well. He deserves it.”

“I know, right?” Luhan asked.

“Has something been going on?” Victoria wondered. “I think he was talking something about Kris.”

Luhan looked around, “I don’t know. Now that you say that, I haven’t seen Kris around since noon.”

“Just what is he up to?” Victoria wondered.

“They’re serving dinner in a bit,” Luhan said, “are you gonna stay? Or do you have to leave?”

“I’ll stay for a bit. I want to find out what Kris is up to,” Victoria quickly decided. “You seem to have gotten used to things here.”

She was glad. At least Luhan wasn’t having a hard time.

“For a while, I’ll have to,” Luhan smiled before turning around to walk away.

“Luhan,” Victoria called, “I was going to ask you before, but I didn’t. Did you manage to find your ex-wife?”

That smile full of love and happiness ejected itself onto his face.  “Yea, I saw her.”

Victoria was happy for him and smiled with him.

For the first time in a few days she ate in the cafeteria joined by the loud company of the other members. Kris still hadn’t returned from wherever it is that he’d gone.

“I’m going to head back,” Victoria told Luhan when she finished her meal, “the sun’s going to set soon.”

“You’re not going to wait for Kris?” Luhan wondered.

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” Victoria said, “watch out for yourself.”

And when she stepped out of the cafeteria she paused when she saw Kris headed her way. He also stopped when he saw her and kind of looked away as if he knew what was going to happen next. Trudging forward Victoria stopped in front of him.

“Where’ve you been?” Victoria interrogated. “Dae Suk has his eyes on you. You know how big his mouth is.”

He didn’t comment.

“So, do you want to explain to me about what you said you would tell me ‘next time’?” Victoria asked. “Seeing that you’ve disappeared again makes me curious.”

He looked a little irritated and a little sad. Victoria didn’t understand where he was getting these facial expressions from.

“Can we talk somewhere else?” Kris asked. “I don’t want Luhan to see us and eavesdrop.”

Luhan? Eavesdrop? Victoria felt lost, but agreed so they moved to the back of the dorm where Kris sat down on the ground and leaned against the building. She looked down at him before sitting down beside him.

“Victoria,” Kris began, “do you think we still deserve to live after all that we’ve done?”

Victoria imagined all the heads she’d pointed her gun to and all the dead bodies she’d seen in her life. They’d done a lot of wrong, she knew that.

“We most likely don’t deserve another shot at what we once had,” Kris said, “but even so, I…I want my life back. Do you think…it’s possible for people like us to have it back?”

Kris had never once talked to her about his life or about how he desired to go back to it. This was the first time she was hearing it directly from him. Kris finally wanted a new start. To hear it from him made her heart ache in sympathy because she knew how it felt to feel that way, how it felt to have those kinds of emotions. Then the last question hit her. Why was he finally thinking like this?

“Kris…” she started.

“I,” he cut her off, “Namjoo, I’ve been seeing her.”

“Namjoo?” Victoria repeated not because of the name itself but because she thought it sounded familiar.

“Namjoo, Luhan’s ex-wife, I’ve been seeing her.”

Now Victoria’s lips literally dropped apart.

“It started off as a duty because I felt the need to keep her alive when I didn’t kill her,” Kris told, “then it became habit.”

“You?” Victoria asked dumbfounded, her face contorted into a deep frown. “Luhan’s ex-wife? Kris, you’re not doing what I think you’re doing, are you? You know who she is to Luhan, don’t you? He’s been trying to protect her from the sidelines. You shouldn’t, Kris, you shouldn’t. Don’t ruin all that Luhan has been doing. Don’t take what’s in his heart.”

“I can’t help it.”

“Are you even thinking straight?” Victoria questioned. “Kris, does she know who you are?”

He didn’t reply. When he turned to look at her his face looked completely different from anything she’d ever seen before. Kris’ expression was something he’d never had on his face. It was desperation. It was all there and that shut Victoria up.

“I want to have her. I want to protect her. I want to save her.”

Victoria turned away from him. She knew how he felt exactly and that made it harder for her to dispute with him. So she left Organization One like that and slowly walked back to the police camp. All that ran through her mind was that desperate look on Kris’ face and how he spoke of Namjoo with the kind of passion and feelings Luhan had when he spoke of her. Then she remembered that heartily smile on Luhan’s face when he told her he’d seen his ex-wife. What would Luhan do when he found out Kris was seeing the woman he’d tried so hard to protect?

She stopped in her steps and stood still. This had all happened only because she’d suggested the attack on the government coup. Kris had met Namjoo because of it and she’d been shot down because of it. The cops were one step closer to them because of it. Victoria had screwed things up.

A light shone in her face and she immediately turned away.

“Oh?” she heard someone say. “Geez, I was wondering who it was. It’s getting dark, what are you doing walking around like this is the park?”

She recognized his voice. She knew it was Changmin because she didn’t feel even a little alarmed. That peaceful feeling was with her again.

“Always finding me out here, huh?” Victoria asked.

“Where did you go?” he wondered.

“I wanted to try and find the area where I lost my sister,” Victoria lied, “but I don’t even know where that is anymore.”

“It’s confusing out here, huh?” Changmin asked looking around. “It’s kind of scary too. Next time tell me to go with you.”

“Where did you go this morning?”

“Ah…one of the guys wasn’t feeling well, so I trooped out to replace him with the other guys in search for you know,” Changmin explained. “Lets head back. The sun is almost down.”

Victoria smiled and nodded. When he turned to lead the way back she felt the urge to grab onto his arm. She knew she, too, was desperate. She honestly wanted someone to want to save her; someone to take her away. And Changmin was the only one she could see because he was the only one there, because he made her feel calm, but he was a cop. Yet, she wanted a new life. Victoria wanted to leave Organization One.

Changmin turned to look at her before looking away a little embarrassed.

“Changmin,” she said, “if you see that a girl is alone and that she’s struggling, would you want to save her?”

“Of course, I’d want to help her.”

“Even if that girl was me?” she shouldn’t have asked, Victoria felt dumb for asking, but she’d done it anyway.

Changmin slightly stopped in his steps and turned to look at her.

“Of course.” His voice was gentle and coaxing. “I would save you.”

Victoria wanted her life back. She wanted it desperately that she almost wanted to curl up into a ball and beg for it with her tears.

“Will you keep your word on it?” Victoria asked.

He blinked his eyes looking confused but went with the flow because that was the only thing he could do. Changmin slowly nodded, “I promise.”

For a slight second she squeezed his arm before letting go of him. He slightly turned to look at her before taking her hand and hurrying her forward.

“Dinner’s going to be gone by the time we get there,” he said before pulling her into a run.

D—“:

Baekhyun paced outside the stony building and stopped to stare at the area where they’d discovered Namjoo after sending Leeteuk off. He knew she’d crashed through the window with the smuggler and had been first to land on the ground. He remembered that Eunhyuk said she’d hit the ground head first and Krystal had said Namjoo had bled from her head. Baekhyun tilted his head and blinked his eyes. Could the incident be affecting her after all?

The severity of her headache yesterday was worrying. Walking into the stony building he discovered Krystal in her room looking through some magazines Leeteuk had brought back with him when he’d returned from the government.

“Krystal,” Baekhyun said, “you remember when Namjoo was attacked, right?”

“What about it?” she asked.

“Do you remember how bad her head was bleeding?”

“Quite a lot.”

“Pick a number from the scale of 1 to 10. 10 being the worst.”

“Why? What’s with you? Is something wrong with Namjoo?”

“No, no. Just answer me.” Baekhyun shook his head.

“Um…” Krystal fell into thought, “maybe about 6.”

That wasn’t good news. He turned away and walked out. Eunhyuk was on his laptop looking through some files when Baekhyun walked in on him.

“Hyung,” Baekhyun called, “do you know anything about head injuries?”

“Mmm?” Eunhyuk twisted around from his chair. “What kind of injury?”

“Head trauma.” Baekhyun answered. “Do you know anything about them?”

“I’m not sure, Baekhyun,” Eunhyuk replied, “I don’t really specialize in that kind of stuff.”

“Anything, anything!” Baekhyun urged. “Don’t you know anything general about them? Maybe you’ve heard of some stuff before.”

Eunhyuk frowned at him. “Is something urgent?”

Baekhyun hesitated before he frowned worriedly, “I think it’s about Namjoo.” 

***Kris becomes desperate --> Vic becomes desperate too ;~;

***I'm not going to tell you what's wrong with Namjoo yet, but I will tell you that she doesn't have a lot of time left. Her landing head first does have something to do with it just like what Baekhyun thinks.