That night, I didn’t even have the energy to close my eyes. That kiss...it was beautiful, a dream, a miracle. I just lay on my bed and stared at the roof. He’s the one for me. I decided to stand up and tried to walk, but the kiss made me collapse on the floor...keeping me away from the bathroom. My thoughts of him from now on are probably 24/7. I’ll never get tired of him. We will never fade away from each other. No. It’s impossible. My life would not be this exciting without him. My life would be like crap. I don’t even know how I could survive before Jonghyun came into my life. I guess I just waited patiently for that “special someone”.

I paced back and forth anxiously as I wait for the doctor’s call to inform me if Jonghyun is ready to be discharged yet. I gripped my phone really tight on my hand, impatiently waiting for the stupid call. I heard the tone of ringing. I picked up immediately after 1 millisecond. “Hello, this Doctor Shin. Jonghyun is in an okay condition. Although he may not be perfectly recovered, he’s strong enough to go home.”  After hearing the good news, I quickly grabbed my handbag and rushed to my car. I drove quickly without caring about the speed limits. It’s all for Jonghyun. Plus, the police don’t even care how people drive in Korea.

I arrived at the parking lot. I made up my mind to park at a random space. I took my key and threw it the key keeper dude without any alerts and ran like a cheetah into the huge building. I remembered the room number, I don’t know why. So, I ran to the elevator without checking at the front desk. I know, I’m over reacting kind of. But I really miss my Jjongie! Did I just say Jjongie? Shivers went up my spine. I’d never thought of saying that on Earth.

As the two elevator doors open, I dashed down the Jonghyun’s room and not a single speck of him was there. Tearing my brain apart, I ran to the doctor and cried, “WHERE’S JONGHYUN DOCTOR?!! WHERE??!” I gripped the doctor with two of my hands and shook him lightly. Then the doctor pushed me away. “It’s okay. He’s right here.” The doctor gestured Jonghyun to come forward.  He was in is normal clothes now and he looked much better than before. I ran towards him with bulging eyes and squeezed him tightly. “Oh Jonghyun! I’ve missed you so much!” I felt a little tear slipping out of my eye. He also wrapped his arms around me. “It’s only been for one night. How long can that be?” “1000 YEARS! Yes, it felt like 1000 years! For the next 1000 years, he will still be by my side…in heaven…” Jonghyun sniffled. I looked up and saw him crying too. I know we’re causing a commotion but I don’t really care. I look around the room and everybody has vanished into thin air. “1000 years, you promise me Jonghyun?” Jonghyun nodded slightly.

Jonghyun’s POV

I didn’t know what to do. How am I going to tell Key? I should be punished for lying and hurting my love. I SHOULD’VE DIED AND KILL MYSELF BEFORE! IT WOULD MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR BOTH ME AND KEY! I’ve been a complete jerk to him. I’ve tried…… I’ve tried so hard. I couldn’t I make it!

***flashback***

The night before…… Still Jonghyun’s POV

I heard the knock on the door after Key left and it was my doctor. “Doctor, what’s wrong with me? Why did I collapse on the floor? Why does my face look abnormal before? Is it just a fever?” The doctor sat on a chair across from the hospital bed that I’m sitting on now. He sighed and pinched his nose bridge. “Jonghyun it’s-“

 “PLEASE! PLEASE TELL ME THAT IT’S JUST A SIMPLE FEVER!” I cried… I knew what was going to happen but I didn’t want myself to hear it personally. “Jonghyun, you HAVE to listen to me carefully,” The doctor grabbed my wrists. I shook and tried to free myself but I couldn’t. I really didn’t want to hear it. I tried to free myself from the doctor’s forceful grip, but he was too strong. “JONGHYUN! LISTEN TO ME!” I breathed rapidly, my chest heaving up and down, I finally gave up. I stopped and whimpered on the bed already knowing what the doctors going to tell me. The doctor let go and I shivered in the lonely bed by myself. He let out a sigh before telling the godforsaken news. “Jonghyun…you have cancer...” I covered my ears from the annoying news. “DIDN’T I ALREADY TELL YOU THAT I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT?!!?!”  I hugged myself and rocked back and forth on the side, looking like a mental person. “I’m sorry you had to hear that...” The doctor clasped his hands together and looked on the ground with a sign of guilt.

Back to Key’s POV

I helped Jonghyun walk back to the car. He was limping slightly, but it’s not too bad. Jonghyun had a sad, solemn expression on his face. He gets to go home, so why is he so sad? I really don’t get Jonghyun sometimes. I gently settled him on the passenger seat. For some certain reason, I have some heavy and bad feeling inside me. It’s not guilt, it’s just a feeling. I’m probably tired too, so I better go home.

I didn’t know where to go, so I drove him back to Haemoni’s house. His walking was still weak, but it’s strong enough for his body to walk on his own. “Do you want something to drink?” I went to the kitchen and got a cup from the cupboard. I looked behind me and saw him with his eyes closed. “Well, I guess he’s sleeping.” I muttered to myself. Instead of watching TV, I went on my computer and watched Korean drama…it’s a typical daily basis if I don’t have anything to do at home. In other words, bored. As simple as that, I watched it for two hours. Two hours of lame, crazy love. People grasping on each other and yelling, “DON’T LEAVE!” Sigh, I guess this is why people are single, thinking that reality is just like in one of those super dramatic dramas. They apparently wait for that “special someone”. As you can see, I didn’t really wait. It just came instantaneously without me knowing. It was when I felt that kind of “feeling”. 

After that “devastating” scene in the cliché drama, I went downstairs to check on the sick puppy. Yes, he’s a puppy because he looks like one. He still looked tired, but I’m going to wake him up anyway. “Jonghyun...” I whispered to him as softly as I can. I soon thought that it’s ridiculous to whisper. So then I yelled, “JONGHYUN!!!” His eyelids finally slipped opened. He then breathed unenthusiastically. “Hurry and get up.” I patted him on the back and helped him sit up straight.

“I don’t feel so good.” Jonghyun put his hand on his head. “What? Why? Are you okay?” The sign of worry starts to spread over me. “I’m fine. I just need some fresh air.” Jonghyun limped to the front door and tripped on a messy pile of shoes. You know, I would be like, “HEY, HEY, WATCH IT! Those are designer shoes that are imported from France!” But, you know, he’s my boyfriend so I can’t really do that. Instead, I rushed to him, asking if he’s alright, even though I was a little pissed off about the shoes. With his head rested on my thigh, I shook his head gently to check if he was okay. “Jonghyun? JONGHYUN?!” His eyes were not open, he did not reply. Hearing the heart beat ringing through my ears, I shook his face slightly, glancing around the house to see if there’s anyone. No one…I’m all in this alone again.  I have to do this ALL BY MYSELF. Snapping out of my ridiculous non-confidence, I snatched the phone and called 911 once again. 5 minutes later, the ambulance came…

“Kim Kibum?” The doctor called. I flinched at the way he called my real name. I would love it if he called me Key.  “May I speak with you in the office…privately?” The doctor stood there tapping the tip on his shoe waiting for my answer. “Sure.” I stood up and walked into his office. He put his clipboard down and sat on his spinning computer chair. He sighed and stated simply, “I have some devastating news.” Well, I basically know all the bad news. It’s that he has a very bad fever and he keeps collapsing. But then, that phrase just HAD to come out. “Jonghyun might die.” Die… Holding back my tears, I gripped the arms of the chair as hard as I could. I bit my lip to keep the waterfall from falling. “Die? Are you sure? Am I dreaming?” I tried to snap out of the silly dream and get back to reality where Jonghyun and I can have a happy relationship. “I’m telling you the truth…” The doctor whispered. Why am I still asleep? How come I can still hear his voice? CAN SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF THIS STUPID NIGHTMARE? Jonghyun…. “I-it it can’t be. It’s impossible. That can’t happen. I forbid it. Jonghyun and I have a happy future ahead of us.” I shook my head back and forth and stared blankly at everything I saw. “He has cancer-““NO HE DOESN’T! HE JUST HAS A STUPID FEVER THAT WON’T GO AWAY! THAT’S IT! CANCER IS NEVER COMING CLOSE TO HIM!” “But apparently it is!” The doctor raised his voice louder. Still couldn’t believe the news, I ran into Jonghyun’s hospital room. Seeing him lying down with all that hospital equipment sticking all over him made me fall to my knees. I couldn’t hold it in any longer so I let the tears freely rolled down my cheeks.  I slowly walked to Jonghyun’s  bed and rested my arms on the side. I touched his cheeks to his jawline, which made him wake up. “Hi Key.” He groaned. Instead of replying to him, I stared at him giving him an anonymous answer. “Key,” He said louder. I rested my left cheek on my arm that is resting on his bed. “Why didn’t you tell me Jonghyun?” He scratched the back of his head and answered, “Tell you what?” “That you have-“He stared right into my eyes desperately telling me not to tell what he has. “When did you find out?” He stared with guilt on his blankets. “In the evening from the doctor.” I could barely make out the words. The words soaked into my tongue making me not able to speak. I heard a sniffle coming from Jonghyun. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you-. “ “WELL IT’S TOO LATE NOW! NO I’VE FOUND THE ANSWER, DO I LOOK LIKE I’M HAVING A GOOD TIME?” Fury burst out all of the sudden. Letting anger and stress flow out of me, I raised my hand, and was about to slap him when I suddenly stopped. He’s sick. He has damn cancer. He didn’t want me to know. He was worried about me.

“I’m sorry Jonghyun.  I-I didn’t mean to, you know-“ Jonghyun grabbed my wrist and pulled me close to him. “There’s a 99% chance that I will live. We still have hope; we still have a future ahead of us. We still have a chance.” I felt his wet tears drop on my shirt. “But what if you-“ “Then you go back.” I was a little confused at what he just said. “Go where?” He hugged me tighter. “Go back home. Go back to Seoul. Forget about this situation. Forget about me and move on.” I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. It’s ridiculous. Does he know how hard it is to forget what’s so important to you? I freaked out after hearing what he just said. “IT CAN NEVER HAPPEN! WE WILL HAVE A HAPPY FUTURE SOMEDAY WE WILL!” Jonghyun held me close to him, close to his body, enough to hear his heartbeat. “I love you Key.” I cried and whimpered in his arms while he gently my head. I couldn’t believe this horrific nightmare. It can’t be real. I mean, why does it have to be Jonghyun? “I love you too Jonghyun…”

                                                                                                                                                                               “So, so much…”

I took one last look behind me before I left to go to the train station. My grandma already went to her daily routine so I left her a note. I had my suitcase and everything to go back home to Seoul. Remembering what Jonghyun said, my final decision was to go back home and forget the painful memories. Forgetting what Jonghyun and I had. At least I will try, but if I do, I will always keep him in my heart. I drove to the station alone on an early morning. I had my ticket ready and waited patiently for my train to come in the cold wind. There were not many people there and I’m glad because I needed peace and space. I stood up when I saw my train and watch it make an erupt stop. Few people came out of the train, so the crowd wasn't so pushy. I took my scarf off and  I was about to hop on the train until I felt the scarf that has been taken out of my hand and being wrapped gently around my neck. I was in shock when I saw the person behind me...

I'm so, so freakin sorry for not posting for long. I have been very, very busy. I finally finished this fanfic! YAAY! I hope you guys like the last chapter...