Oh my god. I cannot take this toleration anymore. It’s literally ruining my life. I can’t think, eat, sleep, or walk apparently! I would just lay in bed with my eyes open, without blinking at all. Well, only when my eye gets really dry, then I have to blink. Sleeping is difficult even when I’m “undrunkenly”  wasted. Eat, well, I can live with that. Walking is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I know that sounds crazy, but when you’re madly in love with someone and you’re holding your confession back. Damn, it’s hard y’all.

 When I walk, I feel like I’m going to collapse. You like, carrying yourself and dragging your body to the place that you want to go. Love gives me the feeling of guilt kind of. Like when you just keep it to yourself. That feeling is kind of like guilt. When should I confess though, till I’m 40? Hell no, that’s not going to happen. I’m not the most impatient person, only when I have to. Right now, as you can see, but not really, I’m not very patient now aren’t I? This is wasting my time! I wish I could wake up my fat and go ask Jonghyun out, but we’ve only met like about a week ago. How about we go steady? But I feel as if Jonghyun is the guy that has to ask me out. What’s wrong? I mean, we’re both guys! I don’t know, I just get this “feeling”.

There’s me, Kim Kibum, still lying lazily on my bed. For some reason, I can’t find a comfortable spot to rest on. I would toss and turn. Finding a spot would still be unattainable. The main reason why that “all” happened to me is because of love. BLAME IT ALL ON LOVE. Love can be annoying too. It’s possible.

Should I….? Nah….. What if he……? Too many questions……. I think I should wait. But what if he never asks me to go steady?  I think I should ask before I die alone. I got goose bumps at the thought of that. No, I seriously do not want to die ALONE. I need to make my life last. So, I was determined to ask Jonghyun out. Though, I still get the feeling where Jonghyun is the guy that has to ask me out. But, he doesn’t know that I have a crush on him. So, what the hell. Plus, it’s Christmas tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will either lock myself in my bedroom or just have a good time on Christmas. And trust me, I do not want the first one to happen.

It’s 4 in the morning and I think I grew facial hair. My chin started feeling really irritating and apparently I kept on itching it, and so did my upper lip. Then it started feeling all rough so my theory is that I’m growing some facial hair like those dads in TV shows. The dads didn’t get very good sleep and they grew facial hair. I haven’t got much sleep. Only like, for 5 minutes.

I couldn’t take my lazy anymore and decided to force myself to get up and make me some breakfast since I can’t sleep anymore. I dragged my downstairs and got a pan out. I just tiredly made myself some simple scrambled eggs. When I ate it, it didn’t taste that good like years before. I felt like I lost my sense of taste. Okay, I need to learn how to live my life. Hell no, I’m not gonna live like this forever.

Can we meet up?

I texted him nervously and pressed the send button. I paced back and forth nervously for Jonghyun to answer back. Surprisingly, he texted back pretty quickly.

Sure! Where should we meet Kibummie? :D

I love the nickname that he gave me. My cold, frozen cheeks heated up.

Um….a restaurant maybe?

Damn it! What kind of restaurant moron? I've been here long enough and I still don’t know lots of places. I guess I didn’t go anywhere much because I didn’t have that much friends.

How about Shim-Hyeung’s?

Where is Shim-Hyeung’s? Why the hell have I never heard of that restaurant before?  But how do I know where to go? Then another text was sent.

In case you don’t know the location, which I assume you do, I’ll pick you up at Haelmoni’s house. Does that sound better?

Wow, you know me that well? KEKEKE. But what time though?

Does 6 sound fine?

Yeah that sounds alright.

Okay, so I’ll pick you up at 6?

Okay, see you later…

And the conversation ended there. I’m still squealing at the thought of when Jonghyun called me Kibummie through text messaging. I think squealing and blushing has gotten to me. I’ve gotten used to it now. I think that squealing and blushing has to do with everything about love. Well, it’s not necessarily love. I don’t know if Jonghyun loves me yet. I might know my feelings quickly, but I don’t know Jonghyun’s. So call me stupid! If Jonghyun says no, then, *sigh, it’s a one-sided love.  Then, I’ll have to move on, and find new love. Gah! Stop the disheartening thinking! It’s tearing me apart! I have to ask Jonghyun TODAY! IF I don’t, then it’s on my bucket list.

I stared at the clock. It’s now 12:00 sharp. 6 more hours to go. Even the long 6 hours scare me. They’re going to point to 6 in no time. So, I have to live while I’m young. But how the hell am I suppose to do that? Strip and start yelling I’M FROM THE FUTURE, I’M FROM THE FUTURE? Maybe I’ll do that when I have only 1 week to live. Then, I will do some crazy badass stuff. Like………. Nope, I’m not going to tell you.

While waiting, I scanned the channels on my TV. Some reality shows, some variety shows, and of course, dramas. Right now, they apparently have Full House 2, and I don’t think it’s as good as the first one. The first one was more creative to me. Like the High Kick series. To me, High Kick 1 and 2 are epic. But, High Kick 3 balls. The last one is usually the one who balls. There maybe some series that have the last series really badass.

It’s 3 now. 3 more hours to go…. I might just travel back to Seoul and forget all of this had ever happened. Believe me, this is really nerve-wrecking. It’s probably easy for you, but to me, it’s like the hardest thing in the world to attempt. Speaking, saying, telling, confessing. Confessing… I’m telling the truth… I’m shivering right now. I want to be bundled up like a burrito. I want to hide in the closet. I want to hide at least somewhere. I know I’m ranting on about how hard this is, but, it just kind of calms me down.  

I looked at myself one last time in the mirror attached to the wall. Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the greatest of them all?  Sorry, I just suddenly thought of that. I glanced at the clock and it was 5:56. I have to make the 4 minutes last. HEART TO HEART TO HEART! Then I heard a ding dong coming from downstairs. ! Why is he so early? I opened the door and saw an innocent puppy stuffing his freezing hands in his pockets. I know, Jonghyun looks like a puppy. He also looks like a dinosaur if you look closely.

What? Do you have a problem with that?

“Are you ready yet?” he happily exclaimed through the door.

“Do you mind if you wait a bit?” I shouted out.

“Sure!”

I quickly pulled out the makeup box and began with my foundation. The “looking decent and all” was out the window. Next, I took out my best friend, BB Cream. I put a clump of it on my and began to spread it over my face.  I applied literally a centimeter of eyeliner with lashes sticking out. (Sorry, I don’t know how to describe that.)  I also put on some y, smoky eye shadow. I like wearing makeup. Got a problem? Finally, I put a dash of Chap Stick on my lips and I was ready for action!(Not "that" kind of action.)  I ran downstairs and saw Jonghyun staring at me with puppy dog eyes.

“You’re looking y tonight,” Jonghyun joked around.

“I know. I am the Almighty Key! I’m the best of course.” I replied with confidence without knowing.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He said. “But are you coming or are you just going to stand there?”

“Coming!” I grabbed my designer coat and we walked out the door.

By the time we got there, the restaurant was already closed (stupid owners). So instead, Jonghyun led me to a café, where we got some coffee and sandwiches and just chatted about. Then, he took me to the park, where we were strolling through the cool evening air. Jonghyun then decided as the right opportunity to grab my hand. Of course I blushed and all, but it was very faint. Was it just us besties holding hands, or is it lovers? Does he like me? He sends me so many signals that he could possibly like me too. I couldn’t take all the question that I’ve been asking myself anymore. I NEED to find an answer. I opened my mouth and nothing came out. My heart was pounding against my ribs, ready to break through. I look around us and saw nobody. It was just us. I was scared, like freaking out. I wanted to go home. But since I’m already here, I have to do this.

“H-hey Jonghyun?” That caught his attention. “Yeah?” He replied.

I took one deep breath. “I have something important to……confess.” Confess? Isn’t that an obvious word that I like him? I need to learn how to chose my words wisely.

“Wait, hold up, I have a confession to make too.” Jonghyun butted in. I just stood still and let him do the talking first because I’m curious what he has to say.

“Key, I think I like you, a lot.”

Wait. Whaaa? I thought he was going say he had a girlfriend or something. Huh. Never mind then. I continued to hear the confession.

“I had this feeling inside of my heart when I first met you. Your face is so beautiful. Your eyes are like chocolate truffles. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put the “I” next to “U”. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You added happiness to my life. I….I think I love you…” He confessed. HE CONFESSED TO ME, WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO CONFESS TO HIM! Damn it, that cute guy stole my part. Well, at least I don’t have to do the work. Wait, HE SAID THAT HE LOVES ME? Why the hell was I calm all this time? Aish, I need to start noticing more details. I knew it! I had liked me too. With all the nicknames, the jealousy, the holding hands action, and the compliments. I should’ve known. He doesn’t do that to any of his friends. But that would be really weird though.

Sheesh, chocolate truffles? Does it really look like chocolate? I better check in the mirror. PFFFTTT! The "I" next to the "U" thing. So, so hella cheesy.

Jonghyun rocked back and forth on his heels and toes waiting for an answer from me. I took a deep breath. Still, it was hard, but not as hard as before. Jonghyun made it like it’s some piece of cake. “I like you too.” I murmured. The puppy looked at me with surprised eyes. “You do?” I can hear his heart beating rapidly, I swear to god. “Yeah, with all the sweet things that you did for me. I kind of fell for you.” I blushed. That sounded so cheesy. Actually, Jonghyun’s confession was more cheesier now that I’ve thought about it. I laughed in my mind to not give Jonghyun any hard feelings. The confession was extremely sweet though. I wanted to literally fly.

“Excuse me for a moment.” Jonghyun said and marched towards a tree. I saw him pumping his fist in the air and yelling YA-HOO! You didn’t think that I noticed Jonghyun? What an idiot….. He came back again acting like his normal self except he’s breathing more rapidly. “So, I like you, and you like me. So does that mean we’re a couple?” Jonghyun asked. “I don’t know.” I said under my breath. “Key, would you like to go steady with me?” The cheesy dude kneeled on one leg held his hand in front of me. I’m sorry, but that brought tears to my eyes. It’s just so sweet. I’ve been waiting for that so long and now it’s been let out of a cage. I felt free and relieved. I whispered, “Yes.” I covered my mouth as my face became the color of lava. Jonghyun stood up and hugged me. “I’m so glad you said yes.” Jonghyun said in his deep, husky voice. I didn’t answer nor did I reply. Instead, I buried my face in his warm body. Jonghyun rubbed my back as I continued crying. I finally settled down and let go of him, even though I didn’t want to. I could stay there forever, trust me. But I had to let go.

“Hey Jonghyun?” I asked. “Yes.” He answered as he wiped my tears.

“Your confession was extremely cheesy, but I still love you bastard.” I said. Gee, I had to tell the truth. Well, that was just too hilarious so I had to let it out. Jonghyun chuckled and put his arm over my shoulder. “Well, I did it just for you.”