I stay back in China as the boys travel back to Korea for more press releases and promotions. EXO-M will be flying back to China the following week, but I’m sensing a packed schedule from day to night. Meeting up would probably never pass their minds. They’re in such demand that almost every single Chinese entertainment station is struggling to book them for their shows.

 As Mom, Dad and I land in Guangzhou; I feel a sense of nostalgia hit me hard. I remember the airport – the last time I had been here was to leave for Korea with Zi Tao. It didn’t hold that great of a memory for me, but it was still part of my past anyways.

Upon reaching home, I don’t hesitate to source out new articles or news on the boys’, as well as going through the pictures I have on my DSLR. Most of them were blurry, or too bright, but I had captured a few good photos backstage, as well as some I took with the boys individually and in a group too.

I was simultaneously browsing through photos and fan accounts of the event, as well as editing some of my photos on Photoshop when a long fan account on Weibo caught my attention.

[EXO’S BEIJING SHOWCASE + TAO’S SISTER]

I must first say this: I think I am very lucky these days. Firstly, I got a lot of luck when I purchased the tickets. The line from the ticket counter was so long, I queued for such a long time that I felt my legs about to break apart. But luckily, I got one of the last few tickets. How lucky is that?? The girl that stood a little bit behind me didn’t manage to get her tickets.

Secondly, I met Tao’s sister and the other Chinese member’s family. But I must tell you about the showcase first, because that is the important part. Tao’s sister is a bonus!

As expected, the boys were fantastic. The audience was a little rowdy; I admit I was screaming like a mad woman, but what can you do when there are 12 good looking men in front of you? Of course you’d scream like crazy too! Kai’s solo dance was so good; it felt like watching a movie before my very eyes. He looked very tired by the end of the night though, because he was dancing around so much.

And Tao!! I love Tao!! He is so amazing and super cool! His solo Wushu was so amazing; he was flying and kicking everywhere! It was like he sprouted wings from his back and flew around the stage. He is so beautiful and loveable, no wonder I like him the most.

I am a Tao and Kris fan, so I was very happy to see and hear them speak Chinese. Their voices sound so nice; it was as if angels whispered into my ears. I cried when I saw them leave the stage. The whole showcase happened so fast, I cannot comprehend how it was 3 hours.

During the interview, I noticed Tao’s hurt face (I think he injured himself??) and felt my heart clench. I was nervous for him and wanted to shout out to the host to let him sit down or rest, but even EXO was telling us to keep quiet so they can be interviewed.

Baek Hyun is very funny, and I think D.O and Chan Yeol speak Chinese the best, besides Chen and Su Ho. Xiu Min is a little quiet, but his voice immediately makes me want to smile and hug him! I’m sorry Tao; this is the Xiu Min effect!

As I got the last few tickets, I didn’t get very good seats, but I still enjoyed myself very much! I wish the showcase lasted forever, I would be happy to pay any amount to see them perform again! EXO FIGHTING!

Here are some pictures that I managed to take, keep in mind that I have watermarked them and you are NOT TO EDIT IT without my permission.

(Pictures)

Now on to what I feel is the luckiest thing I’ve encountered in my whole life. This evening, when my friends and I were waiting to enter into the concert hall, I noticed a black coloured van (the type that famous people use) pull up by the hall. It was around the back, so not many people noticed. But because my friends and I overreacted a little bit, it got people’s attention.

Thinking back, I wish I didn’t overreact. But anyways, my friends and I decided to go closer and have a look. When we moved a little closer, we realized that there was no security at all! So I thought, ‘oh, maybe it’s just some other person that’s not so important’, but I was very wrong.

Another girl (that walked over by herself) quietly told us, ‘that’s Zhang Yi Xing’s mother and father!’

Immediately we got excited. Some other girls from behind came forward and started taking photos. As it turns out, the Chinese member’s from EXO had invited their family members over.

If memory serves me right, I knew that the young woman that came out from the van must be Tao’s sister! He had uploaded a very old photo of the two of them during training period, and I recognized her face! She looks so pretty in real life, much like the angel Tao is. But because the photo is so old, I wasn’t sure if it was her.

She even spoke to us! She told the fans taking photos to respect their privacy. And I knew back then that it was definitely her!

Suddenly I felt my legs moving on its own and before I knew it, I was right beside Tao’s sister. I even asked her, ‘Are you Tao’s sister?’

I don’t know if she nodded to me or what, but she smiled and continued asking me for privacy and to respect it. I nodded, dumbfounded, but I couldn’t move because she is so pretty! She was wearing sunglasses, but she looked pretty that night.

After a while, security guards came and pushed me so hard I nearly fell, but it was a good thing my friends caught me. Tao’s sister noticed and she kindly told us to be careful and mentioned to the guards to be gentler to us.

How thoughtful she is! I can see that Tao’s good genes come from his well-grounded family.

After the show, my friends and I rushed out to wait by the exit so I can take more photos. But do you know who I saw? I saw Tao’s sister there, waiting with the guards. I made eye-contact with her and smiled, and she smiled back to me!! She’s so nice!

It turns out that she waited to help Tao back into the bus. She obviously looked worried, as much as I was. I hope Tao will be okay.

Here are some of the photos that I appeared in with Tao’s sister, thanks to the fans who were waiting around and snapping photos!

I was genuinely surprised but also relieved that the fans thought the showcase was awesome. I’m also secretly relieved that they didn’t think too badly of me. As I continued on editing my photos, I decide to have them printed, as I wanted to decorate my apartment with EXO’s photos.

I knew that if I wanted them to be printed, I’d have to do it myself. I couldn’t trust the people of China as much – who knows if they’d steal my photos and sell them for their own profit?

As I prepare myself to go out and buy some photo paper, the thin silver ring on my left index finger glistens in the light. I can’t help but smile at it. There was so much hanging on this little ring and I knew that I’d have to work just as hard to maintain the relationship. I just hope Wu Fan knows what he’s doing. I can’t help but think of what happened before, and even though I know I shouldn’t, I just can’t help it.

Dad’s at work and Mom’s at the church helping the kids, so I leave on my own accord to explore the area. I still remember most of the shops but a lot has changed over the years. I wonder if any of our neighbours still remember me, or Tao, for that matter.

As I turn left to head towards the bus stop, a shrill voice calls my name out. Curious, I turn around to try and match a face to the awkward, weird mating like call. A lanky, gangly woman is running towards me, her arms spread wide as if she wanted to tackle me.

“ZI YING! HOW ARE YOU! I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN SUCH A LONG TIME!” she screams in my direction, wiping the hair out of her face. She smiles widely and gathers me into an awkward hug.

Who is she again?

“It’s me, Ruo Yi! Remember; we had a few classes together in primary and high school? I mean before you left.” She rolls her eyes and laughs. I rack my brains for any form of memory with this supposed Ruo Yi and am suddenly hammered with a ton of ty memories that I don’t wish to remember.  

“Oh……,” I breathe out, plastering a fake smile on my face.

I don’t want to be near her. She used to go after Wu Fan, which was quite annoying and frustrating. She got on my nerves all the time back in primary school, especially with her shrill, nasal voice. It didn’t help that she used to bully me as well.

“Yeah, yeah? You remember me, right?” she asks, nodding quickly. I plaster a bigger smile on my face and nod as I slowly back away. “Oh, where are you going? Let’s go together!”

Before I know it, I’m stuck with her on the bus. She jabbers away while I try to drown her out, secretly texting to Wu Fan, using my bag to cover my phone.

You will not believe who’s beside me right now. Shoot me, or make me deaf, please. I’m begging you.

I sigh and send the message. I’m not expecting a reply yet, so I hold the phone on my hand and nod mindlessly to Ruo Yi’s chatter. A few, very long minutes after, I feel my phone vibrate against my hand. Obviously surprised, I cautiously peer on the screen and am pleasantly taken aback by the name on the screen.

Wu Fan’s calling?

“Excuse me, Ruo Yi, I have to take this call,” I say, giving her a small smile and taking a different seat on the bus, somewhere a little more quiet, somewhere away from her. She frowns and pouts but lets me out from the inside of the seat we had previously shared.

“Hello?” I ask, picking the phone call up.

“What’s wrong?” Wu Fan sounds like he’s chuckling at me. “Don’t tell me, it’s Ruo Yi,”

“How did you know?” I start laughing softly along with Wu Fan. “I was walking down to the bus stop and she stopped me from catching the earlier bus,” I whisper, so that Ruo Yi wouldn’t eavesdrop into the conversation.

I knew that Ruo Yi was trying her best not to listen into the conversation, but her actions were proving otherwise. Her strained neck and the weird way she was leaning to the back gave her away immediately.

“I have to speak in Korean; she’s listening into the conversation.” I swapped to another language that Wu Fan and I had in common. “She hasn’t brought up your name yet, but I’m presuming that she will soon.”

“Don’t reveal anything she doesn’t know. Let her do all the talking – I’m sure her jaw will drop off soon,” he tells me, and I laugh softly. I’ve missed his voice and the comfort it brings me. “By the way, you’re on speakerphone – we’re currently in the office waiting for training to start.”

Various voices start talking to me at once, the only one I’m able to pick out is Tao’s. It’s as if my ears were trained to filter his voice out immediately. He sounds tired, but happy. I smile to myself.

“I hope you’re not straining yourself,” I warn Tao, who sheepishly laughs it off.

“Who do you think you’re talking to, jie? I’m like, a machine,” he tells me, and I scoff, causing Ruo Yi to look over curiously. I flash her a ‘what’s-up?’ look and she blushes and looks away guiltily.

The boys break out in their song, ‘Machine’ and I am momentarily amused before the bus stops at the plaza.

“Hey guys I have to go, my stop is here,” I speak in rushed Korean, signalling for the driver to stop at the bus terminal. “Remember to eat at the right times, and always sleep at least 8 hours. Don’t skip any meals. I’ll be back in Korea before you know it!”

A chorus of, ‘yes, mom’ greets me back and I break out into a wide grin, causing Ruo Yi to give me a frown. I must be taking the attention away from her, thus causing her to look so unhappy, but I’d rather talk into a phone than spend 10 seconds with her.

As I hang up, Ruo Yi tags after me really closely, even following me into the stationary store. Unable to take it, I turn around and ask her why she’s following me, remembering to frame the question nicely.

“What, can’t I?” she retorts, crossing her arms. She sticks out in the stationary store, especially with her garish outfit, but I couldn’t care less. I just needed her out of my hair so I can finish my business and head home. I can’t believe that it’s taken me so long just to buy photo paper – if I knew this was happening, I would’ve just opted to print the photos out in Korea instead.

“Well, you didn’t get my consent and you’ve pretty much stuck yourself on me the whole time. Come off it, Ruo Yi – we were never friends at all. What’s with the sudden behaviour?” I come clean, watching her face turn livid with anger.

The sugary, saccharine-covered Ruo Yi is now replaced with an angered boar ready for battle. Her nostrils are flaring and her eyebrows are furrowed so deeply she looks like she was born with monobrows.

“Stop acting like you’re high and mighty, Miss Huang. Just because your brother is an idol now doesn’t mean you get to flaunt your way around this place. Remember your place in this city, Zi Ying. No one overthrows me. And if you do, I’ll make sure to hunt you down.” She menacingly tells me. Although it didn’t threaten me much, I was worried about Tao’s reputation.

Getting ready and grabbing an apple to go, I attend a full day’s worth of lectures, tutorials and a workshop before heading home to finish up my assignments and cleaning up the house. It’s been looking like a bomb exploded within the confines of the house itself and I’d been too lazy to clean it up.

Groaning at the thought of a long night, I try to procrastinate by walking extra slower, or paying more attention to the scenery around me. Time didn’t seem to stop for me though, I got home by the usual time I would and knew that I would have to submit to cleaning the crap out of the apartment.

Opening the door however, I’m greeting with a sight that makes my jaw drop and my eyes tear.

“Jie!” Tao rushes to me and squeezes me so tight that I see stars appear. “I’ve missed you so much!!! Where have you been? We’ve been waiting for 3 hours!”

We, who’s we?

Tao lets me go and I see the members in my lounge room, looking at me with goofy smiles on their faces. I then realise my whole apartment looks cleaner and extra sparkly.

“We cleaned the house up,” Tao giggles, giving me a hug again. “We were bored and the house smelt really bad so we just ended up doing everything.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, if I knew you guys were coming I would have cleaned up earlier. I’m sorry you had to see the mess,” I apologize, bowing to the boys. They all reply simultaneously at the same time, dismissing it off. “Are you staying for dinner?” I ask, quickly checking my fridge for supplies. When I saw a full fridge, I sigh in relief. Thank goodness I went grocery shopping earlier that week.

 The boys nod and agree to stay on for dinner. As I start preparing, they swarm me like a pack of flies, offering to help here and there. I’m overwhelmed, and Su Ho and Tao start delegating various tasks to each boy. They promptly leave me out of the kitchen, causing me to stand idle while I watch them move back and forth in a hypnotizing rhythm.

“What’s going on?” Yi Xing suddenly appears next to me, head tilted to one side as he scrutinizes the scene in front of him.

“They’re preparing dinner,” I reply, never letting my gaze off them. “How come you’re not helping out?”

Yi Xing shrugs. “I went to the bathroom when they were giving out jobs, I guess.” He says, looking at me. “How are you though? You looked tired when you walked through the door,”

“Yeah, it’s my last semester and it’s been quite stressful. Especially with assignments and exams – I just have to make sure I score well so I can graduate,” I pour my problems out to him while he quietly observes me. “And what stresses me out is that I’m not quite sure what I want to do when I leave. I don’t even know what I want out of my life anymore. It’s just so uncertain right now… And I don’t have the heart to tell Wu Fan because I don’t want to burden him with my problems…”

Yi Xing gives me a closed smile, revealing the dimple on his left cheek. “If it helps, I think taking walks really does clear your mind. I’m feeling the effects of not being able to take walks nowadays; my mind’s always in a mess and I can’t really think straight. But I guess it’s a good thing that our schedule is so rigid and tight that I have nothing else but to think only on my dancing and speech.”

When he notices my lack of a response, Yi Xing continues.

“Maybe you could find different ways of relieving your stress? Write in a journal, maybe? I think you need to sit down and just breathe. Sometimes finding what you truly have an interest in will take some time, but ultimately in your heart you’ll know what you’re after.”

Sighing, I walk over to the sofa, letting my weight fall onto the soft cushions. Yi Xing follows along, and I sense him watching me as I watch the boys do the work. Kyung Soo is swatting away Jong In’s busybody hands, Su Ho and Tao are pouring through my fridge, and Baek Hyun and Chan Yeol are concentrating hard on cutting the vegetables and Wu Fan…. Where is he? I start frowning when I can’t find him.

“He’s in your room, sleeping.” Yi Xing speaks up, as if reading my mind. I blush and smile slightly. “It’s not that hard to read your expressions, you know,” he tells me, reaching over and ruffling my hair. “Go look for him, I’ll make myself busy helping with dinner.”

Yi Xing stands up and holds his hands out towards me and I grab on to them as he pulls me up. I thank him and he gives me a closed smile before walking towards the kitchen. Once he’s made himself busy, I walk off quietly to my room.

I open the door gently, not wanting to wake Wu Fan up. I peer in before shutting the door behind me. Wu Fan’s curled up on my bed, his figure rhythmically rising and falling with his breathing. I make my steps light as I make my way towards the bed, smiling when I chance upon his sleeping face.

His eyebrows are slightly furrowed and his lips are moving very slightly. He’s probably having an intense dream, I won’t be surprised if he suddenly exclaims out loud. He’s been doing that since he lived with us back in China. At first Mom thought it was because he was living in a foreign home, but as the months went by, we realised it was something we couldn’t get rid of. Wu Fan wouldn’t be Wu Fan without sleep-talking.

 I’m resisting the urge to smooth out his frown, but before I can rationalise my actions, my index finger presses slightly on where the frown meets. He stirs at the action and I move my finger away quickly, but not quick enough to hide away from Wu Fan.

He looks up at me sleepily and smiles, his lips lopsided with drowsiness. I feel my heart warm at the sight and can’t help but smile back. I’ve missed him. I’ve missed him so much that I can’t even measure the amount of overwhelming emotions pouring out of me.

“Hello,” he greets me, his voice husky from sleep. I hold my breath and try to calm myself down. Wu Fan shuffles on my bed, his height making the Queen sized bed look puny. “Come lie down next to me; I’m too lazy to sit up.”

I’m taken aback by his suggestion and hesitate to climb in.

“C’mon, I’m too sleepy to do anything bad now. I won’t take advantage of you like that. Here,” he takes my bolster and places it beside him. Not that it’s doing anything much, Wu Fan’s too giant-like for any piece of furniture in my room. “See, nothing will happen now.”

I fight against what my flesh wants and what my brain is telling me to do. In the end I hop in, justifying my actions based on the essential fact that I won’t see Wu Fan for a while and a little physicality won’t hurt in the long run.

As I lie down, I melt into my bed. I want to be cautious around Wu Fan, but my bed just seems to have that effect on me (and maybe Wu Fan too). I can’t help but relax everything as I snuggle into my quilt, letting my head sink into the soft, fluffy pillows.

A contented sigh escapes from my lips and I make myself comfortable. Wu Fan chuckles at me and snakes his arm under the bolster to hold my hand. I shiver at his touch and realise just how much he hypnotizes me. Even his touch has me under his command.

My hand is small compared to his, and his hand easily envelops mine, but I feel safe. It’s almost as if nothing harmful can touch me.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Wu Fan tells me, letting go of my hand and shifting himself so that he’s facing me. He pushes the bolster down the length of the bed so that he can see my face. He smiles when he sees me. His hair is messy from sleep, but he still looks gorgeous.

His eyes. They’re the ones that allow me to lose myself in the moment. They’re so attractive and deep, I always wonder what he hides behind them. I want to know everything and let him fill my entire being.

He reaches over and tucks pieces of stray hairs behind my ear. I lean into his touch and close my eyes to heighten the sensation of his warm palm on the side of my face. I’ve missed him too. I can’t find enough words to tell him that, but his kiss forces me to portray my desire and want for him to be with me.

The bolster is long forgotten as we grab for each other, limbs all over the place as he holds me tighter, closer to him. My arms are around his neck, pressing myself closer to him. His breathing is laboured, and I can tell that he wants something more than just this kiss.

I stop what we’re doing and sit up. I’m straddling his lap, which sends him into frenzy all over again, unable to control his physical needs. I open my mouth to yelp but he attacks me at such a speed and with force that I’m cut short.

I’m losing my mind when he slides his hands under my shirt and up along the side of my torso. Wu Fan mumbles my name into my neck, and I can hear the strain in his voice. My mind whizzes and I’m suddenly feeling hot and drunk with emotion.

We end up having tangling ourselves within the sheets, knowing full well that there are people outside who could hear us. I can tell it’s taken a lot of effort, but he stops us before we can carry on any further. I’m dizzy with pooling ecstasy, unable to comprehend what just happened. My mind is hazy with images of Wu Fan’s face and my body is burning with white, hot desire.

“You drive me crazy,” Wu Fan whines, face planting into a pillow. I laugh and change into a different outfit. (Let’s just say that the previous one is far too crumpled to be worn.) “Stop tempting me,” he says, angling his face to the side so he can take a peek. I exclaim and chuck a fallen pillow at him.

“Help me straighten the bed out,” I say, standing on the other side of the bed. Wu Fan pouts and grumbles, but doesn’t hesitate to help me. When we’re both looking decent enough, we leave my room and head towards the kitchen. Such physical activity can only bring hunger.

“Oh, noona!” Se Hun beams when he sees me. “I was just about to call you~ dinner’s almost ready.” He tells me, smiling shyly when Wu Fan reaches over and wraps his arm around my waist. I blush and nod to Se Hun.

“There you are!” Yi Xing calls out, emerging from the crowd in the kitchen. “I did your laundry for you and hung it outside. Your um, intimate clothing is still in the washing machine, so you should go hang it up before it smells.”

I blush deeper and wiggle out of Wu Fan’s hold. “Thanks so much Yi Xing, you didn’t have to,” I say, feeling bad that they’re doing all my dirty work when they should be resting.

“It’s all right, anything for you!” he says, smiling widely, causing the dimple on his right cheek to sink in deeply. I resist the urge to poke it and instead poke his side as I walk past, resulting in him yelping loudly. He glares at me playfully as I laugh, waving Wu Fan over to help me.

When we’re in the laundry room, Wu Fan sneakily closes the door behind him and presses my back to his front, allowing me to feel his hot urge. I stop breathing.

“You shouldn’t have called me over…” he growls in my ear. My hands go limp and I hear the underwear bag drop to the ground with a soft thud. His fingers graze dangerously over the band of my shorts and I curse it for being a button up.

Wu Fan manages to slip half of his hand into the band, his hot palm searing the coolness of my skin. His fingers play with the slip of my , and I let out a soft moan. I feel dirty for doing something like this in front of so many people, especially my brother, but the adrenaline pumping in my veins doesn’t care about anything else except Wu Fan behind me.

“ZI YING!”

Wu Fan jumps back and I come back to reality when I hear my name being called a second time. I pass Wu Fan my underwear bag in an attempt to make him look busy before I open the door to find Yi Xing taking a step closer to the laundry room.

When he notices Wu Fan hanging up my laundry, he frowns. “If he’s doing it for you, I would’ve just done it for you before to save you the trouble, Zi Ying…”

“But I don’t want to bother you! You’ve done so much for me already…” I say softly, watching Yi Xing’s expression soften. He gives me a closed smile and pats my shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter Zi Ying, I don’t find this bothersome. Anyways, dinner is ready, let’s go eat.” He tells me, holding me by my forearm and dragging me out. I look behind at Wu Fan and hold my other hand out for him to hold.

Wu Fan catches up and tugs me to him, causing Yi Xing to look back and give Wu Fan an expression I can’t quite understand. I’ve never seen it before, so I don’t know how to exactly explain it. Yi Xing stares at Wu Fan for a few seconds before walking off, causing me to frown slightly. What’s got his in a knot?

I AM SO SICK OF UNI. I'm in my last 3 weeks and it's honestly draining beyond belief. I JUST WANT IT TO END.

Sorry for the late update~ It's been really unmotivating to see so little subscribers and views... And I just want to thank Cheryl (AKA SORROWLICHER) for helping me promote my stories on hers. Honestly, it's the nicest thing someone has ever done for me and I JUST WANT TO GIVE YOU A BIG HUGGLES.