http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx6EkEV94DA

(BGM not for the beginning of the chapter, I'll tell you when to press play)

 

It was Friday, and I still hadn't confessed to Miyoung because the past few days she didn’t take the train and at school I never saw her because of our different classes and because I was with my friends during the breaks.

 

“Only one chance left,” I mumbled to myself during class, and much to my misfortune Luhan caught it. “To do what?” he whispered while smiling at our teacher. Why did I have to say my thoughts out loud?

 

“Nothing,” I whispered back, and Luhan laughed lightly, “Yeah, as if.”

 

“Come on, tell me,” he started again and I hissed back, “There's nothing to tell.”

 

“Don’t make it so suspenseful.” Luhan nudged me lightly.

 

“Yah, Luhan-”

 

“Will you two stop chatting?” our teacher scolded, slamming a book on our desk. I cleared my throat and sat back. Glancing over to Luhan, I narrowed my eyes at Luhan, who struck out his tongue.

 

This boy... I can’t believe that he's older than me.

 

 

…

 

 

I ended up telling my friends that I was going to confess, making them extremely excited. Lay almost choked on his strawberry milk when I told them my intention and Luhan nodded, satisfied that he lured the information out of me. Tao, on the other hand, had his eyes wide open, almost like that first year student, Kyungsoo.

 

“Wow, our dragon leader is going to confess,” Luhan said, propping his chin onto his palm.

 

“Good luck,” Tao gave me thumbs up, and I just weakly smiled back.

 

“But didn’t you say that she doesn’t show any romantic interest in you? And where does the sudden confidence to confess come from?” Lay asked, analyzing everything perfectly, as ever. I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing it myself.

 

“Don't know, but I just have the urge to confess. It's not about the interest, I only want her to know and kind of prepare herself,” I said honestly, earning a nod from Lay and a small round of applause from Luhan and Tao- I had the urge to smack their heads.

 

“Will you ask her to date you?” Tao asked excitedly. I tilted my head, “I'm not sure yet.”

 

“I don’t want to pressure her if she doesn’t like me, aside from that she could slowly develop some kind of interest as time passes and we spend more time together,” I said calmly as I looked at the sky. I might have sounded quite calm and composed, but, in fact, I wasn’t. I was literally dying of nervousness. But no matter how nervous I was, I promised myself to confess and I was going to keep my promise.

 

It was silent for a while and I continued to look at the sky. Then suddenly, someone laughed out loud- Luhan.

 

“Who would've ever thought our Kris was such a sensitive man,” the deer-eyed boy said, still laughing lightly, and I wrinkled my nose at his statement.

 

 

The break ended and I stood up, ready to go back to the building when Tao suddenly stopped me, “Wait, Gege!”

 

“Huh?” I turned around again, only to see that my friends all had their fists up.

 

“Fighting, Kris!” they called out in unison and I felt my heart getting warm. Their encouragement boosted my confidence and kind of washed away my uncertainty. Their expressions told me that they believed in me, and it made me feel much better.

 

Yes, my friends are idiots, but they are my idiots. I also held my fist up and smiled at them.

 

“I'll try my best!”

 

 

…

 

 

I took a deep breath as my class ended, mentally preparing for what I was going to do. Luhan patted my back and gave me thumbs up, as I walked out of the classroom with him.

 

He mouthed a 'good luck' when we separated at the entrance's stairs. I walked to the courtyard, full with confidence and relief that my friends believed in me.

 

I was going to confess. No matter what the answer might be, I'll come home happy. It's not about 'yes' or 'no', but her to know what I felt for her.

 

I nodded, walking forward, and as I spotted Miyoung, my mood immediately brightened, and my stiff body relaxed. It was like she had a soothing effect on me.

 

Nonetheless, I was still a bit nervous, but I swallowed my nervousness, and walked forward.

 

One step.

 

Two steps.

 

Three steps.

 

As I thought our distance was small enough, I called out to her, “Miy-” but immediately stopped when I spotted another person- a male- standing next to her. I squinted my eyes, trying to recognize the person. I didn’t know him; he wasn’t from this school.

 

(BGM now)

 

Suddenly, he leaned forward... and the next action happened so fast that I didn’t even know whether it was a mirage or not. Their faces were awfully close and in a blink of a second, their lips meet- he gave her a small peck on the lips. Then I saw them giggling and walking away with their fingers intertwined.

 

I gulped, walking backwards.

 

One step. One crack.

 

Two steps. Two cracks.

 

Three steps. Three cracks.

 

And in my mind's eye, I watched as my heart broke apart from all the cracks. When the pieces of my heart touched the ground, I felt like something jolted me.

 

I blinked several times, only to see that I wasn’t at the place of the courtyard I had been. I was now at the tree where I saved the kitten, leaning against the tree.

 

I closed my eyes and touched my chest with my fist. People wouldn’t believe me if I told them that it really hurt, not only mentally, but physically.

 

It hurts when your chest feels so empty. What I just went through was worse than a rejection.

 

Miyoung had a boyfriend.

 

I was rejected before I confessed, before I could even try.

 

From the beginning, I didn’t stand a chance.

 

The realization hit me hard, and just then, I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. It was only a single tear, but my heart had been shattered into many pieces.

 

After a while, I walked away from the tree, mentally putting my heart together again.

 

 

Lifelessly, I walked to the train station and sat on the bench, where Miyoung and I got comfortable for the first time. To me, it had become our place, even after such a short time.

 

My train arrived and I stepped in. As the doors closed, I took a last glance at the bench, mouthing 'goodbye'.

 

I did not only say goodbye to the bench, but to my first love.

 

 

Please don't kill me or curse me!

From the beginning, this was planned with breaking Kris' heart. That was the basic idea at first, as a mere oneshot, but yeah, I figured that the feelings would come out better and more realistic if I let Kris and Miyoung interact more than just a short meeting and bam he's in love. I pondered whether to break his heart or not, but in the end I decided to do it.

This fanfic has the message that love is not always as in fairytales, not every love story has a happy ending, and Kris experienced it. 

Um, I'm thinking of a bonus chapter because I feel bad by ending it with his broken heart :'D

Btw my wonderful unnie Navi_7769 made this poster for me >__< isn't it sooo cute? it fits so perfectly!

Yeah, I enjoyed writing this, I hope you enjoyed reading it <3

I'm really sorry for the sad ending though. 

Thank you for reading, subscribing and commenting ;)

-dreamyflower <3

And I want to thank everyone who voted for this story <3

Thank you so much ;)