Ji POV-

I woke up the next morning In what I could only assume was either Taeyang's or Seungri's house. Since I'd been to neither for a long time I couldn't decide whose I was in. Nevertheless I was trying to recall last nights party, I just remember getting really wasted, I can't even remember leaving the party itself. I could tell as the drink had taken it's toll on my body, I felt ill and weak- I was still fully clothed so that was normally a good thing and my bag happened to be on the floor. I rummaged through my bag knowing I had pills to make my headache go, I took the packet and went downstairs to get a glass of water. Seungri was in the kitchen having a coffee by the looks of things, He gave me a concerned smile as I walked in grabbing a glass of water.

'How're you feeling?' Seungri asked looking worried which made me feel slightly uncomfortable as he didn't normally act this way.

'I'm fine... why?' I said curiously, at this point Taeyang walked in.

'Well, You decided to have a heart to heart with Seungri when we got home last night.' Taeyang said butting in. I sighed knowing exactly what that meant.

'So you know?' I said bluntly to Seungri, He nodded as I took my pills with the water.

'And your thoughts? Surprised?' I laughed, waiting for a response from him.

'You could say I'm surprised yeah, I mean I didn't expect it and I didn't expect you to fall for Seunghyun either.' he said taking a sip of his coffee.

'I think you scared Seungri at first...' Taeyang grinned teasing Seungri.

'No... Let's not go there...' Seungri said seriously to Taeyang. Of course Taeyang didn't pay attention and carried on telling me.

'Well, we got back last night and you two sat down on the sofa and started to have drunken conversations. Until you just say seriously to Seungri 'I'm gay, I like men.' Taeyang said laughing but there was more.

'Seungri got really scared and thought you were hitting on him and he arrogantly said 'I'm sorry Ji, I'm not like that.' He laughed harder soon carrying on to say more.

'you then burst into laughter for half an hour, it was so funny.  Taeyang said calming down slightly. I laughed myself finding it slightly funny.

'Well, They say you're honest when you're drunk' I said whist looking around the kitchen. The fact is I wasn't bothered If Seungri knew, I didn't care if the whole world knew. I wasn't about to lie about who I was because I'm not that- However I couldn't drag Seunghyun into the publicity of things. I knew I should go see him today, we did to talk about things after all.


 

Seunghyun POV-

My heavy eyes struggled to open the next morning- My alarm clock was flashing in my face. 11:00am. A late morning and unlike me. I guess it made up for the lack of sleep the night before. I could hear the shower running from the en suite so I assume the woman was in there. I let her stay the night after all I had nothing else to do. It wasn't like I was horrible to her, don't get that impression. I cooked for the both of us last night after returning from my walk. I could tell that made her happy, I think it made her feel more appreciated than just being someone I slept with. I don't normally cook for women either, so It was strange for me. I walked downstairs to get a coffee, I needed one. I was still so tired. As the kettle was boiling I flicked on the stereo wanting to hear some music. I took my coffee over to the sofa where I flicked on the TV catching up with todays news. The doorbell rang abruptly catching me off guard. I sighed walking over and opening it, I was surprised to see Ji standing there. I must of stood, looking at him for ages as he ended up snapping me back into reality by talking.

'You're not going to invite me in then?' He said raising his eyebrow curiously. I was lost for words it was already suspicious that I wouldn't let him in. He sighed but wasn't surprised and barged pass me walking into the house. He immediately saw a pair of women’s shoes and looked at me in disgust.

'A woman eh, Seunghyun?' He said it softly but it was obvious it had hurt him more than he let on. Seconds later footsteps could be heard thumping down the stairs. The young woman walked through fully dressed obviously now leaving. Causing Ji to clench one of his fist but still not saying anything, He was trying to keep calm even in this situation. She froze when she saw Ji standing there, after all she was a fan of our music. I sighed softly feeling the tension. I didn't want people to look down on me. I had to cover it up however hard it may be. Without a single word uttering out of his mouth he left, slamming the door slightly behind him. A part of me felt terrible for what had just happened but I felt trapped. The woman looked at me confused, obviously picking up on the tension that was left behind.

'I have to go, Seunghyun. I guess I'll see you some other time.' She said with a gentle smile sliding her shoes on. I smiled back and gave her a hug before she left.

'Work?' I said questioning her. She smiled, laughing slightly.

'Isn't it always.' She said before leaving. It was clear to me that I was alone again, and not only that I'd probably just hurt Ji greatly. I was more selfish than I thought. I felt the same as I did before. Empty. I decided to clean my house, erase all memories of having the woman round. I felt guilty not only that I didn't like things to be messy and with me being sad, the mess almost mocked me. I played some music on the stereo and began to clean up. To be fair my house was never that messy but it certainly took my mind off things for the meantime. Whist cleaning my room I'd found a box with old photographs in, I opened it and looked at them. I couldn't help but smile at our early days being bigbang. We were all so young and naïve then. I flicked through numerous photos of me and Ji together. I felt more remorse for my actions earlier. Ji was my best friend but I also felt as if I'd lost that friendship too.

I decided rather than doing nothing today that I should at least go and record some more of mine and Ji's song at YG. I also knew Ji wouldn't be in, not after that. After tidying the photos away I got showered and dressed trying not to be as lazy and unproductive as yesterday. I didn't want to sit around everyday being depressed about this as it was something only me and him could fix in time. Waiting around for it to fix would never work I threw on my shoes and took my wallet and phone and jumped into my car driving to YG. The drive didn't take ling as I wasn't far away from it. I packed up in the car park not seeing many cars of people I knew which was a good thing for me as I didn't want people to mention the restaurant situation but I was hoping everyone had forgot my now. I walked swiftly through the building locking myself into a studio. I knew no-one would bother me here. I decided to write lyrics, I suppose you could say I had a sudden burst of inspiration with the emotions I was feeling. When I next looked at the clock hours had passed, It was 5:00 pm now and I was hungry. I decided to head up to the cafeteria to get some food. It was literally deserted up here, but then I saw Daesung sitting along at a table. I went and picked some food before sitting with him.

'Dae, you alright? You look like you're daydreaming' I said whist sitting down as he didn't even notice my existence. His body jumped, he looked startled.

'Hyung?' he said confused. 'When did you sit here?' He asked curiously.

'Just now' I laughed at his innocence.

'Sorry, I'm just abit stressed...' He said sighing. I forgot that he was currently filming for a new film, It was a surprise that he was here in fact.

'Aren't you supposed to be filming?' I asked curiously. He nodded his head.

'Ah, yeah. I have to go later today... But I had to talk to Papa YG about some stuff.' He said smiling. Sometimes I envied how happy Daesung always seemed.

'How about I come with you later on?' I asked being interested. I hadn't spent time with Daesung in a while, I figured it would make him happy and I knew I'd be happy.

'Really Hyung? You'd do that?' He said with his face lighting up with happiness. I smiled feeling good.

'Of course.' I was actually glad I bumped into Daesung, I think even he knew me better than most at times.

After eating me and Daesung took my car to the set as he'd brought a taxi here as after his accident he was no longer able to drive, I suppose being banned was rather inconvenient. I was friends with the director which was nice, It had been a long time since I'd seen him so catching up was somewhat fun. Seungri was also being filmed here, but he was currently acting. Me and Daesung waited until he was needed on set. I helped him with his lines.

'It's nice that you're here.' He said softly smiling.

'Well, I've not spent time with you in ages. I miss it.' I said honestly making him smile brighter.

'Daesung! We need you up here' The director called out causing Daesung to panic slightly. He wasn't used to filming so I could understand why. Seungri soon came over after noticing me.

'Hyung, want to get a coffee and come back?' He asked me whist greeting me.

'Yeah, why not. I could do with a coffee.' I said smiling. 'You look well tired, I'm not surprised you need one.' I added looking at him in more depth.

'Yeah, I went to a party last night with Taeyang and Ji.' He said looking at me as if he was going to get a response out of me.

'Was it good?' I smiled carrying on the conversation. He nodded as we walked out of the building and walked across the road to a small coffee shop.

'It was good, Ji said some strange things though...' He said hinting at something. I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about.

'Really? Doesn't sound like Ji, What he say?' I said which seemed to catch Seungri off guard. He looked at me sternly.

'Look, you don't need to play dumb. Daesung is the only one who doesn't know what's going on- or what happened. Yeah, it might not mean anything to you, or maybe nothing will come out of it. I don't know, I don't know how you feel. Ji's in love with you though and depending on your actions; it could affect this band. All I'm saying is I think Daesung should know what happened too as he's a member of our band too.' He said obviously concerned, and quietly not wanting anyone to overhear. I knew Seungri would be hard to convince so I left it alone. I wasn't sure what to say, but in a way what he was saying made sense.

'Fine. I'll tell him.' I said softly before ordering my coffee. I didn't mind the members knowing as such. I knew none of them would make a big deal out of it- It was just everyone else in the world I was worried about.

'Do you like him then?' I heard Seungri's voice echo through my head as we headed back to the set with our coffee's, I almost chocked taking a sip. I didn't know how to answer, I mean- yes, I like him a lot but.. It was complicated in my eyes.

'It's complicated.' I said trying to avoid the conversation. He sighed looking at me seriously.

'Why do you always find it hard opening up?' He said before we entered the set again. Truth is I didn't know the answer to that either. It's just something I did with my feelings.

'I don't do it on purpose.' I whined feeling stressed out by all of this. I sighed and looked at him.

'I'll explained what happened, Okay?' I said trying to be honest with him about what happened, maybe this way I could accept myself more. He nodded obviously interested by this.

'Ji came over the day before we went to the restaurant because I was worried about him. He came to the studio that day completely different, like he had a spit personality or something. He was major depressed. So, Like I said. He came over to mine. We ordered food, drank and watched horror films. It was completely innocent. The film ended up being to horrific even for me so I ended up turning it off and myself and Ji were obviously scared. At this point I was just hugging him okay? Nothing more than that.' I made that first statement very clear. I wanted to tell Seungri but I needed him to understand how I felt. I took another sip of my coffee before carrying on.

'Something was different about him though, I can't even explain. He was just cute. I was thinking and feeling things that I wouldn't normally think or feel. I asked him what was wrong and basically he said it was a one-sided love, me being me- I got curious. So I asked, he wouldn't tell me so I threatened to tickle it out of him. I was being playful.' I said trying to recall everything. Seungri seemed more and more interested as I carried on. He nodded hinting me to carry on.

'He then ran knowing I was about to ponce on him and tickle him, so it turned into a game. I searched the house for him and found him in one of the spare rooms. I managed to knock him over but he got away again. The next time I found him he had one of my bearbricks in front of him and said 'Come near me and the bearbrick gets it' Or something along those lines. At the time I didn't really care about the bearbrick to I ran into him making us both fall onto the bed...' I stopped there, remembering that moment and feeling awkward. Seungri even looked at me in shock.

'Oh my god, did you sleep together?' He said almost as a whisper not wanting anyone to hear. I began blushing but trying to hide it.

'We didn't like have... . Just like the other stuff that guys do...' I said trying hard to even form that sentence. I could see even Seungri turned red at the thought of it.

'well now I can see why you didn't tell anyone.' He said sipping his coffee.

'Yeah, well.. I'm not comfortable with any of it. I'm just confused about it.' I sighed sitting down on set now.

'So you're not gay?' He said again whispering with great interest.

'I don't know, that's why I'm confused. I didn't ever think that would happen. It's not the gay thing that bothers me though, It's other people perception of it that will bother me.' I said again honestly. Seungri seemed to understand as he gave me the sympathetic look.

'To be honest, When Ji told me last night that he was gay- I didn't know how to react. It came as a shock and then when he told me he was in love with you, well that shocked me more. I didn't know what happened between you both though, so I guess I'm in more shock.' Seungri said being completely truthful. This is why I loved Seungri, he was always straight to the point.

'Yeah well today he caught me with a woman in my house.' I sighed still feeling bad about it. Seungri's eyes winded.

'You slept with a woman? Wow, you're confusing... Ji must of took that badly.' He said seriously. I nodded.

'He just left without a word...' I said whist looking at Daesung acting.

'However hard it is, you need to figure out what you want. If not both of you are going to be hurting.' He said placing his hand onto mine drawing my attention from Daesung to him. Hours passed from me and Seungri just catting about things. I had to admit I felt happy to be able to talk about it. Daesung finished around 9:00pm.

'Are you okay giving me a lift home, Seungri?' Daesung asked smiling. Seungri looked over at me and smiled.

'I think Seunghyun wanted to take you, actually.' He said softly obviously hinting that it would be a good time to tell him. I played along with it as we all left and went our own ways. Daesung seemed happy with me for taking him home.

'Hyung are you alright?' He asked obviously noticing me deep in thought. I turned to look at him but still trying to concentrate on the traffic.

'Actually there's something I need to tell you, the other members are already aware of what I'm about to tell you but I didn't know that until Seungri told me earlier. He suggested that I should be the one to tell you, so yeah.' I said now looking at the road ahead.

'So what is it?' Daesung asked curiously.

'Well...Ji is in love with me.' I said straight forwardly. Stopping at the traffic light I saw Daesung's face and what shocked me the most is that he didn't look surprised.

'I already knew...' He said softly which surprised me.

'Really? Since when?' I asked being curious about it. He thought about it for a while.

'Well, about 6 months ago. It was little things, like the way he looked at you. It just made sense.' He said boldy.

'Well, something happened the other night between us two and now things are... complicated.' I said as the light turned green making me drive again.

'Wait... So you're gay too?' He said now shocked looking at me. I laughed slightly.

'I don't know what I am... that's why things are complicated. I haven't figured out what I want. To be honest all of this scares me...' I said softly, talking to Daesung about this seemed easier than expected.

'Hyung, you know none of us would care. We would all want you to be happy.' He said smiling. I was glad he said that, it made me feel better about it. I smiled feeling better about myself. Me and Daesung began talking about other things on the way home, It really didn't bother him which made me happy. By the time we got to Daesung's it must have been around 10:00pm. We said our goodbyes as I drove off back to my house.

'Talk to Papa YG, You two have always been close. I'm sure he can help you.' Daesung said to me as I left. I remembered it as I was driving. In a way, he was right. Me and Papa YG used to stay out late at night and talk about things, he was much like a fatherly figure to me. I decided that maybe I should see him tomorrow, after all- he might be able to help...