I woke to the annoying shrill of my alarm clock. It was strategically placed across the room from my bed to force me to get up and walk to it. My eyes drifted to the window. The moon was still visible. Television mornings were much better. They always seemed to wake up to a bright sun and fresh coffee. Here in this part of Korea, Yulyeong, the only thing I ever woke up to was a dark sky that still looks like night. And I never seem to have enough time to finish half a cup of coffee or to even relax.

                After getting ready for school, I locked the door behind me and headed up the cold dark street to the bus stop. If any of my friends were here I might enjoy waiting for the bus, the only person I had to talk to was Jiyong. But, then again, he is always late. He’s usually not here until the bus is driving off, so I only see him when he’s running to the bus or when he sits by me. A low clicking sound distracted me from my thoughts. I turned to see one of the popular girls headed up the street. What was her name again? Her eyes were stuck in the vertex that her phone presented. That must have been what that clicking noise was.

                The girl looked up and spotted me, her face blank. Since she had no intent of a greeting, I smiled to her, trying to be polite. She gave me a look that was quite rude and started pressing the buttons on her phone more quickly. Is she texting something about me? Trying not to get upset, I bit my lip and listened to the bus in the distance. Once it finally arrived, I looked back for Jiyong, while avoiding the girl’s eyes. He had just started running towards the bus. Well, at least he won’t have to chase it again. He’s better late than never, I guess.

                Once I made it to my seat, I rested my head on the window. I fell back asleep quickly, probably as a result of my late night rants. The high squeal and blinding lights of the bus stopping at the school woke me up. People began filing out.

                “Good morning,” Jiyong sang from the seat in front of me.”Are you ready for the day?” I grunted and followed him off the bus rubbing my dry eyes the whole way. “Did you sleep at all last night?” He asked, looking into my face deeply.

                “Sort of,” I answered as we walked into the crowded halls of the school.

                “Did you not sleep well?”

                “I-“I started to speak but was interrupted by one of Jiyong’s friends bumping into my shoulder harshly.

                “Jiyong, are you staying after school today?”He asked in a loud voice, towering over me.

                “I don’t know…”He looked at me then back to his friend. “Um...”

                “I’m gonna go to the restroom,” I said in a rushed voice, not even turning to say bye on my way there.

                “Okay, I’ll see you later” his voice faded behind me. Unfortunately his friends booming voice didn’t fade as he asked,” Who was that?”

                I’m not surprised that he didn’t know who I was. Nobody knows me besides my small group of friends. It doesn’t bother me really; I’d rather be a nobody than always being the one standing out in the crowd. If I’m in a spot light for more than two minutes I was sure to say something embarrassing unintentionally.  But it doesn’t happen as often with Munhee’s or Yeong’s friends, they’re pretty nice. On the other hand, most of Jiyong’s friends are rude and annoying. He didn’t start hanging out with those people until around the eighth grade.

                I walked into the gray restroom, still trying not to get mad. Hopefully this day will get better. After making sure nobody else was in the restroom, I looked into the mirror. My dark hair fell flatly around my sholders; the part I cut was embarrassingly obvious. My dull brown eyes looked bored and slightly red. I rubbed them to try to clear them, which didn’t help. Tired of staring into my sad reflection, I left before anyone else could come and headed to breakfast to meet my friends. I spotted Munhee at the entrance of the overflowing cafeteria, her head buried in a thin book.

                “Hey,” I called out.

                “Hello,” She smiled up at me from her book.

                “Ugh,” Yeong groaned from behind us, “Why does school have to start so early? Teachers always complain about us not paying attention, well this is why. We get up at the crack of dawn and….”Her voice trailed off as her emerald eyes widened on me. Munhee followed her gaze, whatever it was left her full lips wide open.

                “What?”  Is there something on my face? I felt my face but nothing was there. Then I realized they were staring behind me. I turned t-

                “Wait, no!” Munhee shouted, pulling me back around.

                “What’s wrong?”

                “Nothing, it’s nothing,” She said quickly. Yeong’s fake ‘it’s alright’ face wasn’t helping.

                “Okay….”I tried to change the subject so my frustration wouldn’t increase. “So, are we still getting breakfast?”As I spoke, I pointed behind me to lines of people already getting there’s. My eyes did a 180 degree search around me to see what they didn’t want me to see. There was nothing there but people I didn’t know.

                “Yeah,” They both answered in a clearer voice. Why are they acting so strange?

                After breakfast, first up was geometry. All of the complicated formations were actually beginning to make sense. Maybe it was the teacher Mrs.Soh‘s good mood. If only her teachings of the day looked the same as the homework we’re being assigned. Then, it was time for chemistry, which was basically math again. The unspeakable torture Mr.Yong put us through should be illegal. If they expect a class to pass maybe they shouldn’t hire teachers with such a lack of enthusiasm.

                By the time that was over, I journeyed off to world history. Somehow, Mr. Bang managed to keep me awake today. Or was it Yeong’s constant dozing off keeping me amused. He kept yelling at her, a bit too loudly I might add. But, I guess it was necessary for her. Every time he yelled her name or mentioned staying after school she would jump up.

                “So, Lucinda, what’s your secret?”[i] She asked me after class.

                “What do you mean?”

                “How do you stay awake so long, you look so tired?”

                “Only your tiredness keeps me so alive” I said sarcastically. Munhee was walking towards us from the other end of the hall. Her face seemed preoccupied but looked normal by the time she reached us.

                “Are you two ready for health?” She asked.

                “Yeah,” we answered.

                “So…”Yeong started. Munhee’s face turned serious when she turned to her.

                “Yeah?” She answered cautiously.

                “Anything new so far?”  Her voice was obviously implying something else.

                “Nope, nothing new.”

                “Same here.” By the time we made it to health class, I couldn’t take it any longer.

                “You guys are acting strange,”

                “What?” Munhee said worriedly. Her immediate reaction was only more proof.

                “Nothing,” I said, frustrated, and headed straight to my seat. But, I literally couldn’t stay mad at them for long. So, by the time Ms.Leong was done teaching us about positive healthy lifestyles, I wasn’t even mad. I was actually a little embarrassed. The bell finally rang, causing all the students to shoot up in a loud uproar.

                “I’m sorry,” Munhee blurted out.

                “Why?”I asked. Her eyes darted to Yeong for help.

                “Let’s go to class!”She said, putting her arms around our shoulders.  Now I know Munhee was lying earlier because she couldn’t tell a lie without apologizing soon after. I don’t care anymore. Whatever it is their keeping from me hopefully isn’t important.

                After waving goodbye to Munhee, Yeong and I walked into the art room. Somehow everything seemed calmer, like I hadn’t been frustrated all day at all. Maybe it’s because Mrs.Ahn is so nice. She was in the middle of explaining to the class how we would still be working on our pottery project. Last Friday we were brainstorming ideals for Christmas ornaments. Today we’re gonna start making them.

                The only thing I didn’t like about working with clay was the feeling of it under my nails. It always felt weird, like it had little rocks in them. But, it was better than doing any actual work. When we got our clay, I began trying to morph it into a tree. When it didn’t turn out right, I started trying to make a normal glass ornament thing.

                Making it wasn’t as simple as it looked. I looked over at Yeong’s work. Her eyes were focused at the front of the class. I followed her gaze. She was watching Mrs.Ahn speak to a student. He doesn’t look familiar. Well, all I was seeing was his back so.

                I looked back to my work, trying to think of a way to start. Then flattened a ball of clay. With a wooden stick, I cut the shape of a ball out. Suddenly, Yeong started shifting her books to the side. Why? I looked and saw that she was making room for that guy. I guess he’s a new student.

                Yeong was smiling at him, quite determinedly. I watched him nod to Yeong as he placed his hand on the chair in front of me. My eyes were glued to his arm. There were so many scars; some of them looked close to bleeding. A sudden coldness engulfed me. My eyes followed the scars up his arm. When I finally looked into his eyes, I saw him looking directly at me…or something more. It felt like he could see more then my eyes.

                Ignoring the feeling, I looked closer into his pale silver eyes. At that moment, my body began to feel numb, overexposed. Almost he could see right through me. Why won’t he look away? My chest started to burn suddenly. Quickly, I looked down. The only thing there was my necklace. When did I put it on? By the time I looked back he was already seated next to Yeong, like nothing had happened.

                I don’t know what’s happening. What was that feeling? This large table suddenly was beginning to seem too small. I don’t want to be near this person. The thought of looking into his eyes again made my heart quicken. But this couldn’t be fear. I forgot what fear felt like, but I know I’ve felt it before, and it’s not this. Even though I can’t remember half of my past. But now is not the time to be thinking about that.

                I’ll look, if it’s not fear, then it’s probably curiosity. When I lifted my head slowly, his pitch black hair was covering his eyes. On his face there were little scars, but his hair covered most of them. What had happened to him? My eyes went back down to his hands. They were gently molding the clay.

                When the bell finally rang I began to feel less tense. After cleaning our table, I waved to Yeong and headed out the door. The new guy was walking in front of me, and then headed in the opposite direction from where I was headed. It didn’t look like he was limping or anything. I wonder if I’ll ever find out what happened to him. Would I see him again today?

                I opened the locker to grab my heavy literature textbook. Just as I was about to close it I saw Yeong running towards me.

                “Wait!” She gasped, “If you close it I’ll never be able to open it.” Her hand grasped the door as she tried to catch her breath.

                “Do you want me to write the combination for you again?”

                “No, later. Thanks.” She reached for her textbook, closed the locker and ran off again waving to me. I sighed and went to my next class as slowly as I could without being late.

                This class never failed to ruin my mood. I don’t think I’ve ever liked this class, and it’s actually not the teachers fault this time. It was the students; there wasn’t anyone to talk to. If they weren’t being too quite they were being too loud. I only have two more classes today, then I could go home and rest I reminded myself before walking in. I used to think that the whole class was against me all together, but then I realized that I was just a ghost to them. My seat was in the far corner, in which I sat alone. The girl from my neighborhood was in this class to, but of course we never spoke a word to each other.

                The class slowly began to fill, most of the students appearing right after the late bell. Then Mrs. Park stood to start teaching. I opened my text book to the pages she instructed as the door opened. A cool burst of air hit me, making me  look towards the door like everyone else had. Did they feel it to?

                It was that guy again! He stood in the door way, looking around. When he saw Mrs. Park he headed toward her and gave her a slip of paper. Is it his schedule? She smiled to him as they spoke then looked around the full class. Of course the only empty seat was next to me. Mrs. Park pointed to the seat, before he turned to look for the seat; I looked down to the text book to avoid his eyes. In spite of my plan, I looked at him as soon as he sat down. He smiled at me…I think. I could only manage a small smile, mostly nodding to him. Well, at least I know he’s not entirely mean.

                Perhaps I thought to soon though. In the seat in front of him was Jang. She turned to him quickly with a bright smile.

                “Hey,” She said in a fake nice voice. Jang never said anything ‘nice’.

                “Hello,” He spoke, the first words I’ve ever heard him speak. His low voice sounds so…calm. Or it at least made me feel calm. I turned my head to see his expression; I hope he doesn’t fall for her fake smile. To my surprise, he almost looked like he wanted to laugh. I wonder why. Jang was one of the more ‘popular’ girls, so it doesn’t surprise me that she’d try to convert the new kid into her cult of brainwashed friends. Maybe his expression was like that because he saw through her to. It’s strange; I don’t feel ‘weird’ anymore.

                Jang tucked her long shiny dyed blond hair behind her ear and smiled wider.

                “So, what’s your name?”

                “Taemin Lee,” He said, staring at the desk.  Taemin….why does that sound familiar? Well, I suppose it’s a name used often.

                “I’m Jang Woo,” She said like it was a name everyone knew, like she was famous or something. I could tell by her body language that she was interested in him. And she kept lowering her head trying to get eye contact from him.”So, how are you enjoying your time at Yulyeong high school?” She said the name in a sarcastic tone, like she hated it. It was a fake suggestion at her dislike of this school. She loved it here, in fact, she cheered for it at every game.

                Just as he was about to speak, the teacher coughed at Jang so she could turn around. She turned slowly with a roll of her eyes, causing her friends to laugh.

                Around the end of class, Mrs. Park had finished teaching and given out homework. On cue, Jang turned back to Taemin with her plastic smile. I lifted an eye brow and pulled out the book I had just bought. I felt someone looking at me and lifted my eyes again. Jang was giving me the stink eye. I widened my eyes at her and continued to read.

                “ANYWAY,” She began again, “I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”When she turned forward to gather her books I heard a small gust of air. I looked up at Taemin who was slightly laughing. Was he laughing at me? Or maybe it was my expression.

                 I couldn’t help laughing to, as I turned back to my book. As he turned his head to his book bag I saw out of the corner of my eyes more scars. The bell rang and I quickly gathered my books, while trying to watch Taemin at the same time. Another feeling came. Is it sympathy? Why do I feel like I should help him? It almost feels like I have to help him.