In the low light from the moon, its deep black eyes glowed with a light blue aura, they looked like blue moons. Its thick black fur had the undertone of a deep brown, making it blend into the trees. I forced my breath to a calm pace which was surprisingly easy. My palm loosened on the shard of glass. It stared at me with its luminous eyes, somehow able to convey emotion. The wolf’s eyes were cautious. If it’s true that dogs could really smell fear then I won’t be completely screwed. Well I guess this is not really a dog but…ugh, I sound like an idiot. You can’t smell fear. I’m not even afraid…I think.

                I inhaled slowly, it almost sounded like a gasp, keeping eye contact with the wolf the whole time. It inched toward me at an extremely slow pace, telling me to calm down with its eyes. The bones in my arms felt stiff. Yet I could barely stop my hands from digging into the dirt. I could feel the burning start in my arms from the fall.

                The wolf’s eyes burned into mine, suddenly its head cocked to the right, keeping its eyes on my level. It was a quick hard movement, almost like it was telling me to go that way. Before I could react, its ears flattened as it let out a high pitched whine. The grass started ruffling again to my left, in the opposite direction. My eyes stayed fixed on the dark area.

                “Lucinda?” A voice called. My eyes focused more in the dark light. A hand touched the large tree…and out came Jang.

                “,” I muttered under my breath uncontrollably. As her eyes landed on me her face went from worried to advantageous. I jumped to my feet and quickly splashed the dirt at the wolf. Chips flew into its eyes, momentarily blinding it as it left swiftly with literally no sound at all. I ran in the direction it pointed out. Jang’s pace was speeding up behind me as I continued to run as fast as I could.

                “Stop!” She yelled out, as if I would obey. But I’d have to stop at some point; the wounds were starting to become a problem. Minutes later the grass had started to become pebbles. If I had been looking ahead I would have seen that the wolf had lead me to a dead end. A cluster of large rocks blocked most of the path. Ugh! I’m such an idiot for listening to a wolf that didn’t say anything! The rocks were taller than me; they were formed like a mountain. Maybe I can climb it. A deep angry growl erupted from behind the rock, shaking the ground. The wolf must have caught up to me. I guess I know how this will end; the wolf will kill either me or Jang and save the remains for another time. I won’t even get an open casket funeral.  Either way Jang’s job will be done. Suddenly a silvery wolf Jumped up onto the highest, largest rock above me. That must be where the growling came from. I looked up to see that its brilliant glowing jade eyes were looking past me. It was like I wasn’t even here. I looked behind me and spotted Jang, her eyes large as she shook with fear, gaping open.

                Out of the trees behind Jang, two solid black wolves came out. They were almost identical if not for the eyes. One had a milky golden color, the other’s glowing an odd color, but both were strikingly beautiful. With their arrival, the growling grew louder. They were synched, the growling seemed like a deep humming; though I couldn’t say the same for Jang, whose legs were trembling with fear.

                In the exact same moment the growls stopped. Almost as precise, Jang’s scream filled the air, so loud that it hurt my ears. She took off at lightning speed. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. It didn’t last long though. I was alone with the wolves now. The silver wolf jumped down next to me, looking at me with those deeply familiar green eyes. It stared knowingly, almost like it knew me. Suddenly, I knew who those eyes belonged to.

                “Yeong?” I asked, feeling idiotic. Its head turned toward the black wolf with the odd eyes. It nodded, and then took off with the other. The silver wolf turned back my way, nudging its face into my palm. It is Yeong! “How did you…”I trailed off in amazement, running my hand through her soft fur. The black-brown wolf appeared again. I looked away, feeling guilty. It was only trying to help me. Yeong breathed deeply as her eyes turned serious. They both pointed towards the trees. “Do you want me to go there?”I pointed into the trees. She nodded in response. Then the black wolf took off in the direction, moving through the trees at lightning speed. Yeong nudged my leg and I ran after the black wolf with her at my side. She was obviously slowing down to keep up with me. I must be very slow.

                We came to a stop at an empty road. The other wolf was nowhere to be found. I could see in the distance that the sun was just rising, turning the sky a deep blue color. Yeong was looking around, until her gaze stopped at a tree that stood out from the others. The tree started to shake like a strong wind had shook it. But there was no wind; it was the only tree moving. A thick fog began to grow out of it.

                I backed away from the tree, almost falling backwards into the road. The fog grew thicker and thicker as it began to morph in a shape; the shape of a human. It began to solidify as it broke off the tree. Now it started to change colors, turning into clothes filled with a body. The face looking at me as features grew in until it became someone; and that someone was Munhee! Color started to fill her pale features as she looked at me cautiously, like she hadn’t just been a tree seconds ago.

                “What’s going on?”I whispered to myself.”No…this isn’t happening…I’m still in the basement.” I realized,” I’m still dreaming. This isn’t real-“

                “This is very real Lucinda,” Munhee interrupted, her voice serious, mature.

                “No…Jang drugged me, this isn’t really happening,” I looked down at my arm, there was no mark showing where she put the needles in me.

                “Lucinda, please,” Munhee begged, approaching me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “You have to calm down and think…you have to remember…”Her sapphire eyes staring directly into mine. As she spoke her voice faded…everything faded. The only sound I could hear was this high pitch ringing. Another electrical current ran through my body again, I could feel my finger tips tingling. I looked down at them; the little white lights were fading away again. “Lucinda!” Munhee said loudly, shaking my shoulders. “Are you okay?” Yeong nudged her wet nose into my leg again, making a whining noise.

                “I’m…I’m okay,” My mind felt clearer…I felt free…complete. “I remember,” I looked into both of their eyes.  “The tree thing, you’ve done that before,”

                “Yes,” She nodded happily, removing her hands.

                “Because you’re a ghost,”

                “Yes, you do remember,” Her smile grew vast.

                “But Yeong, you weren’t always a…wolf,” She nodded in agreement. Or would she be a werewolf? Would a lycanthrope be the same thing? I should check my book of shadows later.

                “She’ll explain later,” Munhee rushed, serious again.”You…”

                “What happened?” Her expression turned to worry, sending waves of it to my heart. There was something more serious to deal with. I could tell by the way she didn’t want to answer me, and I could feel it. “What‘s wrong?”

                “You have to see Taemin,” She forced out. At her words, understanding came; it petrified me inside and out.

                “What happened?” I barely got the words out. I already knew what was wrong.

                “I don’t know-he started getting sick a few hours ago. Like around eleven or twelve. “She explained in a shaky voice.

                Of course, I couldn’t just take my magic back without taking it from Taemin. Our guesses had been right then. My magic was literally the only thing keeping him alive. So now he’s dying…because of me.

                “Where is he?”

                “He said not to go looking for him and that you deserved what was yours to begin with.”

                “What? Why-“I took a deep breath to block out the stinging in my eyes. The sky is starting to get brighter. Is it too late? How long does-NO, he’s not going to die. I’m not going to let him do this! “Do you know where he is?” My voice whipped out.

                “No, he wouldn’t tell us,” She looked to the ground, defeated. “But,” She lifted her head again, a small shard of hope in her voice.”You remember everything right?”

                “Yeah,”… I do remember everything. Everything from the day my mom erased my memories to today. “Why?”

                “Then you can find him; just…follow your instincts.” She said with a small smile. And with that she backed away slowly evaporating with each step. I looked down for Yeong, and then realized that she had ‘vanished’ at some point to.

                The words repeated in my mind. ‘Follow your instincts’ …now I understand. I closed my eyes and summoned the energy from deep in my heart, Taemin’s energy….I can feel it! But it’s very weak. I concentrated on his energy only…I can feel myself slipping as I headed for his. My body began to feel numb as I felt my feet lift from the ground, feeling myself fade from the air entirely.

                Once my body became solid again, I opened my eyes. My head is spinning and everything looks blurry, but Taemin’s energy is closer. As I blinked my eyes focused. I know where I am, it’s the cemetery. If my guess is correct, he’ll be at his parent’s grave. I’m only a few feet off, I know I can make it in time! I started running in the right direction. I have to find him!  If he died because of my selfish desire for magic I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I wouldn’t be able to live at all. I wouldn’t be the same person without him. If I have to lose him then I’d rather I’d never met him, not ever. Not in this life, a past or a future one.

                My feet staggered as soon as I spotted him. He sat, so still, with his back to that same tree as the other day. His dark eyelids covered his eyes. I stopped moving completely, waiting for some kind of movement. Finally there was a small lifting in his chest. He’s breathing! Now I could breathe to. I slowly approached him, being cautious.

                Suddenly I felt a different energy. There was something blocking me. I reached my hand out, but it didn’t go far. There was a barrier. You couldn’t see it, but you could definitely feel it. He’s blocking me with what little magic he has left. I can’t use my magic to save him. That would just take it away from him entirely, therefore ending his life.

                “Stop it!” I shouted, pressing against the barrier, trying to find a weak spot. It’s futile!  He opened his black eyes, the silver was completely gone. His pain was poorly hidden.

                “You should have let me die-“

                “NO!”I know what he’s trying to do. “You have to live, let me help you.”

                “Lucinda,” He breathed, speaking slowly. He stared directly into my eyes; the dark depths gave me chills that I never felt before, no one should ever see these eyes. They were the eyes of the dead. “I love you, but please… you know this isn’t right.” He looked down at his pale palm “this…”He let out a short pained laugh. “ This artificial life.”

                “What are you talking about? What ‘artificial life’?”

                “You’ve kept me alive all these year, it’s time to give up…nobodies heart beats forever.”He rested his slender arm over his chest.”My heart beats on magic, not blood. And from my understanding, that doesn’t even make me human.”

                “You are human; blood doesn’t make you a human.” That must be why his hands can be so cold but his chest could be warm; because he doesn’t have any blood. Sure, his heart beats…on magic. It’s the only thing moving inside of him.

                “Taemin, let me help you,” I begged, my voice cracking. He sat still as his dark eyelid closed again.”Taemin!” The tears forming burned my eyes as they threatened to boil over. He sighed, opening his eyes again.

                “Even in my final moment I can’t stand to see you in pain.”He muttered. I almost fell over when the barrier faded. As soon as it was out of the way I ran to his side.

                I sat on my knees next to, my hands shaking because….because I’m scared. I had finally realized that one memory hadn’t been returned. I don’t remember the spell I did to give him my magic.

                “How do I give you back my magic?” My voice wavered as I reached out to him. I didn’t touch him; I don’t want to hurt him anymore.

                “You can’t,” He whispered, “They were yours to begin with,”

                “Stop saying that!” My tears spilled over now, running quickly down my cheeks. “I didn’t let you die then and I’m not going to let you die now,” I wiped at the tears as I tried to remember. “Why?! Why can I remember everything but that?” I said aloud.

                “Maybe because you shouldn’t have done it in the first place,”

                I covered my ears, denying what he had said, trying to think of a plan. If I could heal myself earlier then maybe I could heal him to. I placed my hands over his heart, the white aura appeared. I remembered that. If the aura is white, it’s healed…but he’s not healed. Again a burst of tears ran down.

                Maybe it’s not his heart that’s the problem. He doesn’t have any blood, is that what I did? Did I give him my blood? I looked at him again; his skin was turning a pale gray, the veins in his face visible. His head was leaned against the tree, facing the sky with closed eyes.  

                “Taemin…”I reached up and touched his icy face, he didn’t respond at all.”No! Taemin please wake up!” I yelled through the tears. I placed my ear to his chest. So light and so slow, I could hear his heart beat. It sounded hollow, like tapping an empty box. I have to try something! Anything! I grabbed his hand. Focusing my energy into my finger, I ran it over his palm and mine, cutting the skin. No blood came out of his. I pressed my bloodied palm to his. Almost immediately it started to feel like my blood was flowing out of me like a faucet; like it was being out. My eyes stayed on him, watching the color return swiftly. He opened his eyes, the beautiful silver had returned. And in looking into those eyes the memory returned. I remember how I did it.

                “Taemin…”

                “Yes,” He whispered, though his voice was much clearer; it held no pain.

                “That didn’t help did it?”

                “It did…but, please, don’t…” Anger filled me now.

                “Why not?” I could hear the anger in my voice and so could he. He didn’t answer; he just stared into my eyes. His expression tortured. I know why, but I don’t want to hurt him…but I have to. I never wanted to hurt him in any way, even if I could only do it mentally. But it was a double edged sword, it would hurt me to. Still, I can’t lose him because I was too much of a coward to say it.” You want to die because you think you’ll see your parents again…”I looked down at our hands, gathering courage before looking back into his eyes.”But… you won’t” His eyes widened, I had hurt him. It was well hidden, but I could feel it.”Taemin, it’s not your time. You were meant to be here…you were meant to live.”I squeezed our hands tighter; both of our cuts were healed now. “I’m sure they would be happy to see you live your life without worrying about them. They’re safe now…it’s time for you to live.”I added slowly.

                He only stared at me. The silence was crushing! Is he even listening?! The spell won’t work unless he’s compliant. His blank expression only made me angrier. I held his face and stared into his eyes. “Please…let me help you,” I said so low that I almost mouthed to whole thing. He closed his beautiful tired eyes and reached up to remove my hands.

                “Okay,” He said, sounding defeated. He placed his forehead to mine. My heart leaped.

                Like so many years ago, I pressed my lips to his. Tears ran down my face as the feeling of my magic fading left me feeling empty again. But…at least he’s still here with me. He’s still alive, no matter how modified.

                Once we opened our eyes he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. Lying there, I listened to his heartbeat. I can hear the difference. It’s more whole, full…beautiful…